My Horror at the Pediatric Dentist office-UPDATE on pg3

[Felicia]

I took my (almost 10, but still 9yo) son and daughter to the dentist today for a check-up.

Let me set the scene: It is a one-doctor pediatric office, with waiting area outside, inside there are 8 dentist chairs set up-each one with its own flat screen screen and a small waiting area there for parents of "younger children".

Okay, so they call my son in and I went in with him because I wanted to ask the dentist a few questions. I sat near my son waiting for the dentist and heard one nurse say to the other that "he is pissed about Simson" (I guess another patient). They were no more than 5 feet from me, so I heard this clearly.

The doctor who is always joking with the kids came right over to my son, looked in his mouth, and said (in a nasty tone), "You don't brush your teeth." My son said he did and I can vouch for that. So the doctor said in the same tone, "Well not well enough." The doctor then turned away from my son and started checking my DD teeth. He wasn't AS nasty with her. (The problem is with my son and the doctor). Then the assistant asked me to "step away" in the waiting area. Well, with the attitude of the doctor with my son, I only "stepped" about 10 feet away. He finished with my DD and she came over to show me her teeth and talked about the cleaning.

(Here is comes) I turned in my son's direction (his chair was facing away from me), and the nurse was holding a tweezer looking instrument in her hand and it looked like the dentist was looking in my son's mouth. I said to her "what is that for??" She then said to the doctor that I was asking what was it for AND he pulled a away from my son's mouth and said "I'm extracting his tooth." I went over to him and he said "stay away, you can't come closer". Like h--l I will!! He said that my son told him his tooth hurt and wanted to know if the doctor would pull it. (Yes, his tooth hurt as it was loose, but it would have came out on its own!) SO, the doctor pulled the tooth. I did not want to make a huge scene at the time because my kids were with me.

NOW, shouldn't he have told me he was going to pull the tooth? If a 9yo tells him to pull it out, he does! Does that sound right??? Shouldn't I have had to sign something or have given him the OK to do this?? I am so angry right now!

Tomorrow morning I will call the dental insurance and talk to them because now I have to pay for a tooth that was pulled!! I want to write a letter to the office manager, but DH says why bother, they will just rip it up. I WILL NOT bring my children to this dentist ever again and I wish there was I way that I can report this to someone, but who??? Any ideas?

Sorry so long, just needed to vent!

 

[aahmom1]

My daugher had a very BAD experience at a ped dentist and I SWEAR I will never take my kids to one again. A friend of mine told me about her dentist (not a ped) and this is the most wonderful man. I'm sure there are some really nice peds dentists out there but not for my kids. They have no compassion whatsoever, they treat kids like garbage and expect the parents to fall in line and I don't fall for that crap at all.


I suggest asking around for a dentist that is not a peds, I highly advise it.

As for pulling the tooth without telling you, I would have had a cow. You should call tomorrow and b*tch them out, make sure they know you're pissed.

I think I would probably call soembody higher up if I were you, he had absolutely no right to do that!!

 

[Dan Murphy]

Sounds totally wrong, Felicia. Here is a link that may give you a starting point.

http://www.op.nysed.gov/dentalsb.htm

 

[RNMOM]

First off, take a deep breath. There. Now, you are completly right to feel the way you do. That is inexcusable. He should not have been touching patients if he was still angry with someone else. He should have taken 15 min. in his office to cool down then he might have been professional again.

I am not sure about the permission and such with dentistry but I can tell you I would have been hauling my kid out of that chair pretty darn fast. If we do something to a patient who tells us to stop we can be charged for battery or assault, can never remember which it is.

Why don't you sit down tonight and write a letter to him telling him exactly how you feel and how you perceived the situation. In the morning if it is still comfortable with you, mail it, or hand deliver it. Ask him to call you to discuss this and give him times that are good for you. He may wish to explain his side. I would allow this then I would say "Okay, but you have still lost us as patients." and find another dentist. If you still you want to, report him to the state dental association. You should be able to find it in the directory of your state's web page. The state attorney general can also give you the information.

Find another dentist you can all go to. There are a lot of adult dentist who deal well with children and then you will know what to expect yourself. Good luck. Hope you can get this solved to your satisfaction.

 

[4greatboys]

I would definately find a new dentist. They are plenty that let the parents stay in the room.
He should have been more professional--I'm not much into the "you can talk down to me because your a dr and Im not". He should have checked with you before he did that--especially if he was going to charge you for it.

 

[Mskanga]

This is one thing I do not tolerate with any dentist with my kids, when they go in , I go in with them. I want to know what is going on and what is going to be done , and usually since I have questions , I want them answered.
Fortunately I have a dentist that I have had for years and he's wonderful. I went to another dentist last year because my dentist was not on my insurance plan, but now he is. I am thrilled , my kids are going to him next week for a check up and I'm totally at peace.

 

[DocRafiki]

You are WAY overreacting. No, he doesn't have to double-check every little thing with you. He knows what's good for your kid's teeth much better than you do. But if the insurance doesn't cover it and he didn't get your ok for the charges, you shouldn't have to pay it.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Pulling a loose baby tooth and an "extraction" are two different things, I would imagine. I wouldn't expect there to be an additional charge for that. ?? However, I wouldn't tolerate the attitude at all.

Aahmom...pediatric dentists have no compassion for kids??? I take my kids to one, and he is wonderful. The kids DO go in alone, and then they call me in. The kids, and I, are and always have been, comfortable with that. I have seen parents go in with their children, and that seems to be fine, but it's a very nice child-friendly place. He, and his associate, have an excellent reputation. Our pedi dentist called specialists in New York and Boston for a particularly unusual situation my DD had, and pulled some strings to get her in to see a specialist sooner than the 13 month wait it was going to be (like more than 12 months sooner!), after sitting and discussing it with me for a long time. He called me with the information about who to see, AND then called me after the consultation with the other specialist to see how it went. He was a godsend. He has never, and I can't imagine that he ever would, done ANYTHING without discussing it with me first. He's cheerful and easygoing...always happy to see us, and my kids have absolutely no qualms about going there. I wish I had grown up with a dentist like him. I wish he'd take adults.

 

[Disneymoon04]

I would definitely fight the charge for pulling. And as for the dentist, I can't imagine one who WOULDN'T let the parents in! I have memories fromt he dentist as early as age 5 and I my mom was always with me. No question - find a new dentist and I second the opinion on finding one who does the whole family not just kids. That way you know yourself of his attitude and capabilites.

 

[snoopy]

In my mind this is completely unacceptable. I would be horrified as well, I cannot imagine a doctor or a dentist performing any type of procedure on my child where they are removing something without my o.k.

I'm not sure what you can do, hopefully the link that Dan provided will give you a place to start.

 

[zurgswife]

My kids go to a pediatric dentist and they go back by themselves similar ages to you children....BUT the Dr ALWAYS comes out to let me know exactly what is being done.......My son had a babytooth that was in need of being pulled..my dentist came out and explained it to me and then got MY OK...

I'd be furious....

 

[believe]

Please do not think all pediatric dentist are this way. My daughter's go to a pediatric dentist and he is wonderful. I have the choice to go back or stay in the waiting area. We are working on them going back by themselves, only because I trust this dentist and know that they would keep me in the loop.

 

[Mermaid02]

"If we do something to a patient who tells us to stop we can be charged for battery or assault,"

It's battery... if they charge you for pulling the tooth I would fight it! I would also tell my insurance company not to pay for it if they try to charge you for it. I would switch dentists and I would tell everyone I know what happened.

"No, he doesn't have to double-check every little thing with you. He knows what's good for your kid's teeth much better than you do. "

With all due respect DocRafiki- I think you are wrong. I believe he DOES have to get parental permission- he certainly can't get it from a minor. Maybe you think she is over reacting, but it is her child and she has every right to approve or NOT to ANYTHING the dentist does- She could even get a 2nd opinion if she wanted.

 

[browneyes]

I had to take my ds to the dentist a couple of weeks ago. He had 2 loose teeth, but 1 of them got infected real bad (I thought he had fallen and the tooth had been pushed up into his gum-it was that swollen ). The dentist asked me about 5-6 times if I was sure I wanted him to pull the teeth-he said they were loose and really needed to go. He's not a ped dentist. He's a family dentist. The ped dentists around here refuse to let the parents go back with the child. My family dentist lets me go back with the kids and vice versa (my kids love seeing them clean my teeth ).

My dd has a tooth that needs pulled. I've asked them several times to pull it, but they ask her if she wants it pulled and she screams no, so they won't pull it (it was a crown, but the crown fell off). They said as long as she's not in any pain, it should be ok.

I hope your ds isn't scared to go to the dentist now.

 

[peg2001]

I am so sorry this happened to you and you have every right to be upset. I would have been even more upset at his "Not any closer" and rude approach to your DS than his actual pulling of a loose baby tooth.

Definitely find a different dentist. The number one ped dentist around here does not allow parents to attend their child and when I asked for an exception for my first DD's appointment as she was just 3 and a very shy child, I was refused. I canceled the appointment and we found a WONDERFUL family dentist with an equally WONDERFUL hygeinist whose approach to children is so easy and friendly I almost cried the first time I saw them interact with my young child. Not only can we attend our children, but we can take other children back with us. My younger DD is now 3 and LOVES the dentist because she has been able to watch her older sister at every appointment.

Peggy

 

[WebmasterAlex]

If there is a dentist or lawyer here that wants to tell me I am wrong I will listen but I thought ANY medical treatment requires informed consent on the part of the patient. In the case of a child, the legal guardian would need to give that consent.
If something went wrong I would think he would be opening himself up to major legal headaches by behaving like this.

 

[allicat]

I remember visiting a pediatric dentist when I was young, they were mean, and I never forgot it. The nurse was very nasty to me-I told her I was scared and she went crazy, yelling about how I needed to get over it etc. I was a little kid, for crying out loud!

I think its very inappropriate for the dentist to not inform you that he was pulling your son's tooth! Never go back and inform your firends not to take their kids there.

We have a great pediatric dentist for DD. Because the dentist is so great, there are never any tears when we have to take her to the dentist.

 

[chell]

Originally posted by WebmasterAlex
If there is a dentist or lawyer here that wants to tell me I am wrong I will listen but I thought ANY medical treatment requires informed consent on the part of the patient. In the case of a child, the legal guardian would need to give that consent.
If something went wrong I would think he would be opening himself up to major legal headaches by behaving like this.

That's what I'm thinking too.

Felicia, I would be VERY upset if I were in your shoes! They should not have been so rude to any of you! I hope you do file a complaint against them.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I'd be furious about any treatment being done without my consent. That said, it's common for parents to be expected to wait in the waiting room, and I think that's a good thing. Most kids are much better behaved without their parents present and a little independence is a very good thing.

 

[aahmom1]

Originally posted by DocRafiki
You are WAY overreacting. No, he doesn't have to double-check every little thing with you. He knows what's good for your kid's teeth much better than you do. But if the insurance doesn't cover it and he didn't get your ok for the charges, you shouldn't have to pay it.

That's funny, you remember that the next time YOU are in the dentists chair and he decides that he needs to remove one of your teeth and doesn't bother to tell you. It's the same thing.