My heart is broken mini update post 243

[mickeyboat]

Denae

 

[Disney Doll]

AlaskaMom, be gentle with yourself...you have suffered a trauma not easily handled...

As far as the car...could you & DH go to the place where it is being held and have one of the workers @ the site bring you his stuff without you having to physically see the car? You could wait in the building or something??? I don't know...just a thought...

 

[Serena]

 

[DebIreland]

I can't begin to imagine how painful it was for you to go through AJs things. My heart aches for you.

One day at a time AlaskaMom.

 

[Tricia1972]

More prayers for you and your family. I think of, and pray for you often.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

Prayers sent. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[nikkistevej]

 

[chell]

Praying they have compassion and a heart when you arrive and they have everything ready for you and your husband so you don't have to look at the vehicle. I also pray everything is cleaned up for you. I also wish I could take your pain away.

Please let his girlfriend know she is also in our prayers.

 

[Minnie&Nana]

Oh, Jill, I am so very sorry. I am holding your family very near in heartfelt prayer. I can understand how horrible this is for you and want you to know that in time the pain will get softer - it will not always be as raw as it is right now. It will much time, but it will happen.

It might be comforting to find a Compassionate Friends or Bereaved Parents Group in your area - we understand as only one who has traveled the same journey.

http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/

Ten months after my son returned to heaven my DD and I attended a Bereaved Parents Conference - we were very hesitant, but it turned out to be the best thing we could have done. It was a place where everyone understand and we all supported one another - the best 4 days. We even laughed again.

Take gentle care of yourselves...talk about AJ as much as you want/need to, do whatever helps you to get through each moment, hour and day...when we survive, we honor our children and can even celebrate their lives. They are our gift and our gift to them is to go on.

Hold on to the memories - AJ will get you through.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I am sorry as well. It doesn't seem right that they're not more compassionate about not making you see the vehicle or get the stuff yourself.

 

[Goofy22]

I'm praying for you that you have the strength to carry on during this tradegic time. Going thru Aj's clothes and personal belongings is a Big step take your time and do it at your own pace. Also When you arrive at the yard where the car is ask if they can bring the belongings to you that you do not feel you can handle going through the car they maybe compassionate enough to say we're not suppose to do this but in this cse we will . I hope they will do that for you. I guess the reason they make the next of kin get the stuff is so that they know all the things wanted or needed are removed and no one can say anything was missing etc.although that is asking alot . I am sending you a BIG I know you need it.

 

[Briarmom]

 

[Beavers5]

I keep wanting to write something to you, something to make it all even a little easier. Unfortunately, nothing I say is going to make it easier, I truly wish it could. On March 29, 2008, I lost my younger brother (he was 25) because of someone else's reckless driving. It was/is the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I have lived through Stage 3B Melanoma and the suicide of my stepfather, and can honestly say that the unexpected, untimely death of my brother was/is way worse. I still cry daily and think of him constantly, but I do feel like it's getting easier to push the pain aside and enjoy other things more. It took me two anti-depressants and anxiety medicine to get through the first few months. The only reason I quit taking the medicines was because I got pregnant, and that may have been the best treatment for me. Experiencing the beginning of a life, while grieving the loss of another life is very bittersweet; but it does offer some hope in the future.

Here is a poem that my dad and I have found helpful:

"Letter From Heaven"

To my dearest family,
some things I*d like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.

I*m writing this from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there*s no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
just because I*m out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said, "I welcome you.

It*s good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They*ll be here later on."

God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night
the day*s chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry:
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn*t understand.

But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o*er.
I*m closer to you now,
than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy
and I*d like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world,
the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody
who*s in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night......
"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented...
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along
I made somebody smile.

God says: "If you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
as on your way you go.

When you*re walking down the street
with me on your mind;
I*m walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind."

"And when it*s time for you to go...
from that body to be free.
Remember you*re not going.....
you*re coming here to me."

--Author unknown

 

[DebIreland]

AlaskaMom, thinking of you.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

thinking of you.

 

[AlaskaMOM]

Here is a poem that my dad and I have found helpful:

"Letter From Heaven"

To my dearest family,
some things I*d like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.

I*m writing this from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there*s no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
just because I*m out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said, "I welcome you.

It*s good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They*ll be here later on."

God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night
the day*s chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry:
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn*t understand.

But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o*er.
I*m closer to you now,
than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy
and I*d like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world,
the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody
who*s in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night......
"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented...
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along
I made somebody smile.

God says: "If you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
as on your way you go.

When you*re walking down the street
with me on your mind;
I*m walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind."

"And when it*s time for you to go...
from that body to be free.
Remember you*re not going.....
you*re coming here to me."

--Author unknown

Thank you for sharing this poem. Reading it made me tear up, but it gives me hope that things will be better, that AJ is in a better place.

 

[Trish Bessette]

Thinking of you. Wonderful news about your DD's baby. I hope he is doing well.

We are all here for you...

 

[disneymarie]

Thinking of you Jill.
I hope your days are a bit more at ease. So many pray and think of you so often. I know the cyber friends got me through.

We start depositions tomorrow in our wrongful death action in my daughter. I hope that no other family will have to lose a loved one in the manner our family has. I miss her so deeply.

This is a poem I had placed in my memory book. I cry, but it says so much.

Di

PRECIOUS CHILD
Words and Music by Karen Taylor-Good
In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
'Cause you are with me still

In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, my precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then
In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart
Background Music - "Precious Child" - Karen Taylor-Good​