My family needs pixie dust :(

[momof2inPA]

You seem like a wonderful person, so the fault for this break-up must be entirely his. I think you are doing a wonderful job of being strong for both yourself and your children, but somehow it seems that he's getting off too easily.

 

[we3disneygo]

keep the faith, it will carry you through the hard times....... cats are lot's of fun! lot's of prayers and pixie dust comin' your way.........

 

[Patty3]

Prayers for you and your kids are being said.

 

[mickeyboat]

, Theresa. You are a remarkably strong woman. Your children are lucky to have you as their mother.

Denae

 

[WeirdEyes]

Teresa ~ Good luck to you and your kids. You are very strong and it will show through to your kids. Take care!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I'm sorry for what you are going through.

 

[talicskai]

You seem like a wonderful person, so the fault for this break-up must be entirely his. I think you are doing a wonderful job of being strong for both yourself and your children, but somehow it seems that he's getting off too easily.

It definitely is his decision to leave ~ however, I wouldn't say it is entirely his fault though. I changed after I had children ~ one is disabled and I think I am over protective. I need to "lighten up" as he puts it. I am a control freak but according to my friends "you have always been like that and haven't changed" I know it takes two but I still think marriage counselling would be a big help ~ he just isn't interested in going.
Thanks for all the support and I will keep you posted.

On a happy note we are having a DIS meet in Mississauga Dec 10th and I will finally get to meet some of the people I have been in touch with.

Teresa

 

[ckret01]

WOW you are incredibly strong!!! I am so sorry you have to go through this. We are always here if you need a shoulder to cry, talk, laugh, or vent to.

 

[GillieRose]

I'm very sorry you are going through this. My brother went through the same thing about 3 years ago with his now ex wife. She told him she wanted out 2 days after Christmas and that he could keep the girls (they where 9 and 7 at the time). She said she felt trapped but then she moved in with another guy a week later and she already had a house set up to go to. They are all doing good now. It took awhile. So I will say a little prayer for you family. You seem very strong.

 

[tar heel]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. We all change after having children -- don't feel bad about that. IMO my responsibility to them far outweighs my wants, and this has necessarily made me a more serious person. I expect my dh sometimes wishes I would "lighten up," too, but I think he overall is glad that I serve as the grounding force. I think this is a maturity issue to a large extent and that, perhaps, you have matured more than your dh. I also think it's really hard for a couple to stay at the same space mentally/spiritually b/c we all change as we're going through life phases -- I can only assume this would be even more of a challenge b/c your relationship began when you were so young.

 

[Planogirl]

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. You'll get through it, you'll see.

 

[kmebee]

You seem to be such a strong person through all of this. I know that I was a basket case when ExDH and I sat down to talk about divorce and we didn't have kids (one reason we chose to do it then and not make things worse). He, too refused to go to counseling. This time of year makes it worse as well. You are lucky to have friends and family around you. I was in another state many miles away from home and this all happened just about the same time of year.
You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers. Continue to be strong not only for your children but for yourself as well.
BIG s

 

[talicskai]

I also think it's really hard for a couple to stay at the same space mentally/spiritually b/c we all change as we're going through life phases -- I can only assume this would be even more of a challenge b/c your relationship began when you were so young.

I know that we got married young ~ we began dating in Dec 84 when we were 16 years old. Neither of us dated anyone else and it was "love at first kiss" I'm sure he feels he missed out on stuff but we travelled alot before we had kids and then have been to Florida numerous times as well as two DCL. It is not like we have suffered. I do think he feels trapped and want to be free. Whatever ~ don't we all?

Thanks again for all the support and encouragement ~ you guys are so great!

 

[elismom]

Hi I noticed that you live in southern ontario
I dont know how far out of the city you live(TORONTO)
but there is a really great program called
Families in Transition
They usually have sat classes for the kids where they can talk to other kids who are going throught the same thing.
Just be really careful about the joint custody some kids don't handle the switching every week very well make sure that you get everything down in writting
Sometime things that start out in a amicable way have a way of taking on a life of there own.
Just remember he is the one that wants out and he will say anything right now that you want to hear.
Make sure you and your childrens rights are protected.
My heart goes out to you remember to take care of yourself and stay strong

 

[mark&sue]

Why do they all think that they are trapped and then go and do exactly the same thing with their next partner (who is usually the cause of the break-up)

Why can't they just pull through and count their blessings. They may not stay madly in love but they need to realise that the same thing will happen in their next relationship and their next so why not stay with the one you have made vows with and had children??? That love can return if only they stuck around to find out.

My thoughts are with you. So many people have gone through what you are going through. As others have said you will have some really bad days but eventually they become less.

Good luck and please do not feel alone. I am on the other side of the world to you but feel your pain and think of you each day.



Susan

 

[Grandma Bear]

Love and prayers coming your way.

 

[disneylizzy]

Oh, Teresa, I'm so sorry for your family. My ex left a little over a year ago. I knew he was unhappy, but I didn't know that he had a girlfriend for a year before he left. I have 4 kids, the 2 older ones are in college and DS's are 12 & 15. They have their ups and downs. Things come up and it is all fresh again for them. As they get older, they have different questions and feelings.

It was very hard for me to cope at times. I am not afraid to say that I took an anti-depressant for a year and it really did help. We also took two trips to WDW in 2005 (!). More therapy!

He was just here for the day after T'giving and we had a nice meal. It is hard, but I have never uttered one negative word about him to the kids. He is always welcome here, although I will usually go food shopping or something for a while when he comes. I think your kids will thank you for making things amicable. Good luck - I'm glad you have lots of support.

 

[agnes!]

You have my sympathy, it must be hard on you watching the kids go through all this and suffering through your own grieving for the death of a dream.

I know that this next thing might sound odd...but have you considered hiring a private detective to make *sure* that your (sort of "ex")H isn't stepping out on you? His actions, I hate to say, sound just a tad suspicious.

I've paraphrased what some other posters have said and added some bits of my own...
you need to stay strong
you need to take care of yourself
you need to make sure that you get the best legal advice
you need to protect your children
you need to protect your joint material assets

God Bless,
agnes!

 

[Disney Ontario]

Hi. Teresa. My family is always thinking of yous. If you need just to get out, give me a call. After the Dec.9th weekend I should be free. Remember, I am just around the corner.
Ps. Is there anymore room for your trip? I promise I woun't get plane sick again.(ha ha). See you Thursday
@7:00.

LOL Darlene

 

[talicskai]

Thanks Darlene ~ I know you care ~ it's just hard to talk about when the kids are around.

For others ~ I have thought about the fact that he is "stepping out" believe I have asked him a few times but he swears he is not. It really would be out of character for him. He has always been honest and it is a small town so I would have heard something. Also, why would he not tell me at this point? It certainly wouldn't change anything. I am choosing to trust him until I know differently. I hope it doesn't come back to bite me.

Teresa