My DStep Son can't come to WDW!

[tacomaranch]

It is final and an answer, not the one I wanted but an answer. My DSS is not going to come to WDW. His mother and he feel that 6th grade is just to important to miss any days of school. He says it is the year before Jr. High and very very important! Ok, what happen to being a child.

So it will just be myself, DH and DS with DD showing up for the the weekend but leaving again.

So goes my family trip. I could cry!

Ok, the good thing is that I finally gave up and got myself a TA who contacted me from this board. She is located in NJ of all places. I would never think of a NJ person knowing about WDW, no offense. She is just wonderful and very smart. She only does WDW vacations and she downgraded our room from the CR to the POFQ. It seems harsh but why spend the money when the family is not going to be with us. I have never stayed at the POFQ. It was a toss up between this and the CSR.

We are only 2 months to the day from our 2nd WDW vacation, again without my DSS. I don't think Mom is ever going to let him come with us.

Wish us luck.

 

[MartDM]

Sorry the plan didn't go as you wanted but you must be at least a little bit proud that he places such a high priority on his education, right? I think that's kind of cool!

 

[dixiedizfan]

Too bad about your step-son. Sixth grade isn't THAT important that he couldn't miss a few days of school. We took ours out during that year and they were able to keep up just fine with the rest of the class. Not until they hit high school with their GPAs did it become too important to not miss any school. Oh how I wish mine were still in sixth grade, so we could go to WDW when we wanted. And about your TA from NJ, I got a TA for the first time ever this year and just loved her, and she, too, was from NJ. Could it be the same one, Deb Kuhns from YMJ. Having a TA is great; you never have to pick up a phone to make any reservations. Deb made and changed numerous times our ADRs, and she was never more than a mouse click away. TAs are the only way to go!

 

[tacomaranch]

Ours is Sandy for parispany NJ. She also did our ADR's and room ressies. She put our entire schedule on a grid for us and is also sending the kids lanyards with pins! How sweet is that? I never thought to us a TA but she has really proven herself and I am so happy with her. She is on the board here as instimprss or somthing close.

She downgraded us with keeping our FDP. That was our main concern.

As for my DSS. I am happy he is so concerned. That is what the director said, he wished more kids cared about it as much as my DSS, but he needs to be excited about things in life and be a child. Time is running out and it will all be very serious all to soon. He has a pt job at 11 yrs old! Worries about money and school. He is never just joyful. Heck, I am more excited about WDW than he was when were just talking about it. He calls me the wicked step mother. Urg.

Anyone, tell me it will get better!

 

[tacomaranch]

Oh great, it just keeps getting better! Now the DD doesn't want to go to WDW because Dss is not going.

So it is just going to be myself, DH and our toddler DS. More fun for the tot and for the adults. WE can go to food and wine without worrying about the 11 yr olds.

Still this was suppose to be a family trip. Now we don't have any family!

 

[01Sweetpea]

He calls me the wicked step mother. Urg.

Anyone, tell me it will get better!

At least I am NOT the only one with that title!!!

This is the first year that my SD is going on a Disney vacation with us, and over Thanksgiving none the less. While I am excited about it, part of me is waiting for either my SD or her mother to change her mind. 2 years ago SD changed her mind 3 months before we went. Luckily we didn't have the airfare pruchased yet. This time the airfare is booked!

I'm sorry your Dss and your DD aren't going.

We never get to do a full family trip...I have a 16yo SD as well...she NEVER goes on vacation!!!

 

[java]

Why not plan your next trip during school vacation time? My son is going into 7th grade and in 6th they really do lay the guilt for taking time off from school. It is a big deal to a child that is going for perfect attendance for example. Now I am saying this assuming that he would want to go with you at all. So I am assuming by dd you mean your daughter and why doesn't she want to go? I guess I am going to be very personal here... but is the toddler a new "family" baby. in other words do the 2 other children feel slightly jealous? Like oh yeah NOW we get to go to Disney now that he is here....... Just a thought.
Well try to have a good trip anyway. And bring them back something great.

 

[Lisa_Belle]

Don't take it personally. Maybe his school schedule is such that he doesn't feel up to taking off. If you want a family vacation with the entire family, plan one for when everyone can go - and make sure to schedule it for a week when your DH has his son. I don't know how old your DD is, but I get the impression she's either in high school or college. At that age, she might feel as though now there is no one her age to hang out with and do "big kid" things.

 

[Simba's Mom]

It is final and an answer, not the one I wanted but an answer. My DSS is not going to come to WDW. His mother and he feel that 6th grade is just to important to miss any days of school. He says it is the year before Jr. High and very very important! Ok, what happen to being a child.

So it will just be myself, DH and DS with DD showing up for the the weekend but leaving again.

So goes my family trip. I could cry!

Ok, the good thing is that I finally gave up and got myself a TA who contacted me from this board. She is located in NJ of all places. I would never think of a NJ person knowing about WDW, no offense. She is just wonderful and very smart. She only does WDW vacations and she downgraded our room from the CR to the POFQ. It seems harsh but why spend the money when the family is not going to be with us. I have never stayed at the POFQ. It was a toss up between this and the CSR.

We are only 2 months to the day from our 2nd WDW vacation, again without my DSS. I don't think Mom is ever going to let him come with us.

Wish us luck.

At least she didn't wait until 2 weeks before the trip. That's what my SDD did a few years ago. She'd said she wanted to go, so airfare was purchased, ressies made, ADRs (or whatever they were called then), hotel listed all of us. Then 2 weeks beforehand, she decided she didn't want to miss school. Her mother insisted it was up to the daughter. What was funny was that the following year she missed 2 weeks of school to go to relatives' for Christmas. Unfortunately, I guess it's just part of the whole package. But I do empathize, both with you and your DH.

 

[QueenofMyCastle]

Well, I'm glad he is so serious about school but 6th grade isn't really THAT important. I might understand if he were behind in school, or if it was high school and he was worried about his GPA and getting into college. My first trip to WDW was when I was in 6th grade. I missed a whole week of school and I was fine. Of course I was a good student and I think all my teachers knew that I would not suffer by missing a little school. I went around to all my teachers and asked if they had any work they wanted me to take with me to do. All of them said "no, just have a great time!" except my math teacher. She assigned me math homework to do everynight so everynight there I was sitting in the lobby of the hotel doing math homework. When we got back from WDW it turned out that the class hadn't gotten as far as I had and when she reassigned the homework to me I said "But I already did that chapter while I was in WDW" and she told me "so" and said just do it again! What a witch!

 

[raven69david]

Sorry the plan didn't go as you wanted but you must be at least a little bit proud that he places such a high priority on his education, right? I think that's kind of cool!

that's absolutely right. that little fella's got a great head on his shoulders and you should be proud for him that he thinks that way. just make sure to buy him something nice on your visit. hopefully he can go on the next trip.

 

[tacomaranch]

Hi, I am so proud of the SS who is really just a 25 yr old in an 11 yr old body. Even the director said he wished more kids worried about school as much as SS does.

In the end it will never be ok for him to go to WDW because of me. I am bad according to the ex and always will be. I get to hear what she thinks of me each time SS comes over. I just tell him to not worry about what she thinks and go have fun. When he leaves everytime I tell him to listen to his mom and be respectful of her. It is all I can do.

The airfare was bought but we are just going to use the ticket for the tot so he can have a seat to himself.

JAVA, yes the DD just told me that our tot annoys her. Girls are so funny. I think you might be a bit right that they all think great now we have a special needs brother and they go to WDW every chance we get. Why not before? Thanks for helping me see a bit more of the other side. DD just really doesn't like the new tot at all and I think having her Step brother out just made it easy for her to get out of it also. It is just sad that we will miss them also.

I just wish we could all pull together and have one family trip! It really makes me so sad. WDW is for dreams to come true. It is for kids, for parents to see the smiles on the kids faces.

Am I missing something? Please we are all honest here. What am I missing?

 

[01Sweetpea]

Am I missing something? Please we are all honest here. What am I missing?

You are missing NOTHING...it is called the "joys" of a step-family!!!

My kids will be in 8th & 6th grade when they miss 2 days. My SD will be in 6th grade as well. 6th grade is NOT far into the school years that he can't miss a few days.

 

[DJ Disney Kid]

Bah, who ever learnded anything in 6th grade?

Me smart and eye always skipped skool.

 

[KathyRN137]

Hi, April

Yes, the joys of step-parenting!
DH and I cannot get my DSS(16) to agree to miss even ONE day of high school this Nov. Even though his coming only for a three-day weekend in the --middle-- of our vacation will cause DH to miss precious WDW time taking him back and forth from the airport! And even though DSS is a straight-A student!

Well, what can you do? I tell myself it is ridiculous...there are probably hundreds of kids who will need therapy or wind up on the Dr. Phil Show someday because their parents divorced and their fathers "dumped them" for their second families! And here we are begging our stepson to spend more time with us and he doesn't appreciate it! (Or so it seems.)

The only thing I can do is to accept it and hope that things will get better as he gets older and appreciates how much we love him and want him with us. But, it won't do any good to force the issue now. We'll just keep inviting him and enjoy what time we do have together.

Your SS knows that you want him with you, and that's what's important.

On a lighter note, the POFQ is a wonderful resort; we've stayed there twice. Hunter will just love the theme pool with the sea serpent slide, and the buses always pick up and drop off at the French Quarter before Riverside. You are sure to have a wonderful stay there.

and

Kathy

 

[Snow_White]

It sadden me that some people think that a week of 6th grade is more important than a week of quality family time

 

[Samsma]

My DS13 has also decided he doesn't want to go with DD7 and me when we go in Nov. It is all about the drama with him. He'll wait until a week before and throw a big one because it's too late. Go and enjoy the little one, less stress, no fights, less whining, etc. That's what I'm doing! I just take the kids as an excuse anyway LOL!

 

[tacomaranch]

We are now going to take our DS Hunter who is special needs to the MMNSSHP that we were going to not go to because of the cost of so many children. Now it will be just DH, myself and Hunter enjoying our little party. See good things so happen.

Still it is sad. I will miss my DD and DSS while there. Oh well, more time at food and wine. Have our DS return us to our room.

We have also saved a lot of money but isn't even the issue! I wish we could just be a family.

 

[threeboysdad]

Just another point of veiw here... Speaking as the DH who loves disney (but is not obsessed as most here and the DW are), take a step back and think of just a couple things...

1. Maybe he is not interested in Disney.. We have a DS who is a little anti disney (16 yo). He has been going since he was 1 and has never really got the fever... One year when he was about 10 I asked him what do you want to do on vacation... he said "oh I dont care as long as we dont go to another theme park!"
2. Dont overlook the signs that it is not disney that is the issue but his relationship to you. If he has not hit it off with you (wicked stepmom) just keep doing what you are doing... love him, watch over him, take care of him and support him... If you make any kind of big deal about the family being broken up for vacation, I would think that will only add pressure to him and frustrate him more...
3. and last, Go against your natural bent and downplay this "disney family" thing... Work on just being a "family" and plan the trip when he doesnt have to be in school. He may never want to be part of a Disney Family but over time he will be grateful to have an awesome Family behind him and with him. Sounds like you are also putting pressure on yourself... My bride does the same sometimes.

I hope this gives you some things to consider that will be helpful... I am sure I dont have the context of everything spot on, but I hope you get my point.

Good luck with the great SS. You sure are doing all the right stuff in respecting his and his BM wishes and suporting him.

 

[WDWCommandos]

Ok, the good thing is that I finally gave up and got myself a TA who contacted me from this board. She is located in NJ of all places. I would never think of a NJ person knowing about WDW, no offense.

No offense taken about the NJ comment! But, do you know that NJ actually sends more people to WDW than any other state in the US? And we have a month in the fall where we are the majority in the parks!!