My Disney Rant

That's where the world is headed. We're turning into an entitlement society where it's all about me, me, me. I'm young and I already feel like a grumpy old woman. I'm tired of people of all ages being self centered and rude. I've actually had worse encounters outside of Disney than in, knock on wood. Usually people are friendly and nice with only the occasional rude person.

Some kids these days have lost all respect for authority. Officers in our town frequently have to go on domestic calls dealing with unruly children. If the kids are mouthing off to their parents and are out of control, the parents will call the cops to have officers come deal with their bratty kids. These kids are as young as 6. Sometimes, the kids are bad enough where it's hard for officers to get them under control. When I was a kid, if I would have started mouthing off to my mom or tearing up the house, I would have gotten my butt beat. If an officer showed up at our door because I was acting like a little brat, I would have been so embarrassed and wouldn't have dared be disrespectful to them. It looks pretty bad when parents can't even control their own kids. Don't the parents think that the officers have other more important things to do with their time than to come to their house and try and get their 6 year old who is tearing the house up under control? We barely have enough officers to deal with all the other crap that's happening in our town.

Adults are just as bad, though. It ticks me off when people don't say thank you when you hold the door for them. My brother was trying to be helpful and polite by holding a door for two middle-aged ladies as they were walking up to a restaurant we went to yesterday. Neither one of them acknowledged him holding the door for them or even said thank you. When my brother came and joined up with us in front of the two women, I said "Thank you so much __________ (brother)! You were so kind to hold the door for those ladies! Always so polite! Such a gentleman!!" with some shade thrown at the direction of the two women, hoping that they would pick up the hint that I dropped. Nope.... just went on talking. :headache: I used to not say anything when people wouldn't say "Thank You" or acknowledge when I held the door for them, but it's gotten to the point where I'm tired of people being rude and just expecting everyone to hold doors for them. So now I say "Your Welcome!" loudly in a "Bless your heart!" sort of tone after they walk through the door. I'm not sure if they get the hint, but it makes me feel better! lol

I try and be kind to others and non confrontational, but eventually people being rude and nasty just weighs me down. Why should I try and go out of my way to be kind if people are just going to be rude?

*Rant over... that felt really good to get out! lol

I religiously hold the door open and try to spell like-minded gentlemen who have been stuck holding the door for an endless stream that has developed by the time I get there. I'd say the number of thank-yous run right at about 50%. It's nice to hear, but the way I was raised it isn't really a voluntary action for me, so I'm not really disheartened if I don't hear a "thank you". It's more about what I feel is my obligation, so I'd actually rather hold the door for a woman who completely ignores me while walking through than to have a very polite woman decline to allow me to hold the door for her.

So in a sense, it's kinda all about me - so I might be part of the problem. ;)

On a side note, the one custom I finally broke myself of is standing whenever a woman stands to leave the table - or returns. For quite some time, I was the only one following that custom and the awkwardness of it made me stop doing it. However, I do still make sure all the women order first before the men order - despite many waiters/waitresses wanting to take orders in order of seating.
 
We agree. We were in line to get a Happy Anniversary Button. When a women for some reason had to exit through the in door way where we were waiting. She pushed right through me. Not to cause a scene I waited till she was out of earshot to say "the word is excuse me". The women behind me started a rant about how rude people were. While I was speaking to the guest behind me I saw her heading back. This time I was prepared. She never slowed and tried to push me to get by. Well I am 6' 3" 260 lbs. She bounce off me. I look at her an apologized and let her pass. She was very sorry and also apologized. The guests behind us couldn't hold in there laugh. Love this story.

But it's the same everywhere, people are very self absorbed. All she care about was her issue. It's been that way for years, I'm just getting old and grumpy. I use to let it go, now I call people on it, just not as much when I'm at Disney.

After I wrote this down I realized how rude I was. I saw her coming back, I just should have moved out of her way. But I too felt entitled to my spot. I had no idea what she was going through.

For every act of rudeness I see, I think I see at least 10 act of good manors and kindness. But I chose to focus on the bad. I learned a lesson from these posts and only hope I can take it with me.
 
After I wrote this down I realized how rude I was. I saw her coming back, I just should have moved out of her way. But I too felt entitled to my spot. I had no idea what she was going through.

For every act of rudeness I see, I think I see at least 10 act of good manors and kindness. But I chose to focus on the bad. I learned a lesson from these posts and only hope I can take it with me.


You aren't alone. Many times rather than turn a shoulder to make way for someone barging by, I've chosen to tense up (my also fairly large frame) and hold my ground - then apologize for the impact I saw coming a mile away. ;)

... and many times my wife explains to me that I'm not going to re-educate every random stranger I encounter. I need to listen to her more often.
 
When I was a kid, if I would have started mouthing off to my mom or tearing up the house, I would have gotten my butt beat.
Do a search on the community board for "spanking". According to some, if you so much as lightly tap a child as punishment, you should be locked up for life. Add to that there are people who will call the cops because you've sent your pre-teen to the park by themselves. It all contributes.
 

I religiously hold the door open and try to spell like-minded gentlemen who have been stuck holding the door for an endless stream that has developed by the time I get there. I'd say the number of thank-yous run right at about 50%. It's nice to hear, but the way I was raised it isn't really a voluntary action for me, so I'm not really disheartened if I don't hear a "thank you". It's more about what I feel is my obligation, so I'd actually rather hold the door for a woman who completely ignores me while walking through than to have a very polite woman decline to allow me to hold the door for her.

So in a sense, it's kinda all about me - so I might be part of the problem. ;)

On a side note, the one custom I finally broke myself of is standing whenever a woman stands to leave the table - or returns. For quite some time, I was the only one following that custom and the awkwardness of it made me stop doing it. However, I do still make sure all the women order first before the men order - despite many waiters/waitresses wanting to take orders in order of seating.

You're far more patient than I am!
 
I really think it boils down to the attitude, "I paid a lot of money for this vacation, and I am entitled to do what I want!". I think the higher costs of Disney are a big part of it.

I think you're right! People seem to think they deserve everything they want, and right now, just because they spent a lot of money.

I agree with the general comment about behavior becoming increasingly self-centered and uncouth, and it makes me very sad. We have given up so much in order to ceaselessly assert our "rights".

I think this is true, too, and very well said.

Though I hate people who rush their way on elevators and busses I hate people even more for using strollers and ECV as weapons. I understand that in your case it would be OK to do that, but in general using strollers as weapons ticks me off. When it comes to me and elevators I am very courteous to others.

Unfortunately, I think this kind of concession is contributing to the problem. We make exceptions because we want to be compassionate in certain circumstances, but it grows and grows to encompass more and more circumstances until far too many people think "Oh, it's OK this time, because..." - and pretty soon the exception becomes the new normal.
 
Good rant, justgrace! Good observations, especially for a young person. It takes courage and intestinal fortitude to stay strong and keep your head when people are acting like rude fools. It's a zen thing--to keep your graciousness and not be sucked into behaving badly in retaliation for bad behavior. That saying comes to mind: An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

I think that the PP that stated that there seems to be so much anger (on vacation! At Disney! Yikes! Think about that a second...) is correct in that observation. Anger is the by-product of entitlement. An "Attitude of Gratitude" is such a blessing, because out of gratitude flows humility, contentment, thankfulness and grace.

I very much feel sorry for those that are just determined to have things their way, on their terms and NOW!...but even more sorry for those of us that must share the planet with them.

What is the bible verse about how in the last days people will be spoiled, self-centered, entitled and angry (paraphrasing) and the love of many will grow cold, but those that endure to the end are blessed? Well, WDW puts that verse in focus for me. Also, the verse about whatever is good, whatever is pure, whatever is noble, think on these things. Sometimes I just close my eyes and let that run through my mind a time or two, hopefully before I smack the parents in the mouth with the duck torturing brats. :bitelip:

P.S. To the poster that wrote about NYC: :eek: and :scared1: and :eek: again. NYC seems more foreign to me than Cuba, or Turkmenistan. I honestly think I would understand the culture of Kathmandu more easily than NYC. :laughing:
 
Idk I think as we get older we also get grumpier and tend to see bad manners more. I don't think things have changed all that much. People in the 70s littered so much we needed a massive Keep America Clean program, until a few years ago people threw cigarette butts everywhere, I used to see people treat wait staff more like servants and that doesn't seem as bad anymore, my high school had fights all the time that would be an expulsion in my son's school today, Very sadly my grandparents generation was downright ugly to people of different races in way that would never stand at the parks today.

Since cavemen came out of the cave people have been saying what is wrong with kids today. I just really don't see a huge difference in manners only my tolerance for the lack of them.
 
Good rant, justgrace! Good observations, especially for a young person. It takes courage and intestinal fortitude to stay strong and keep your head when people are acting like rude fools. It's a zen thing--to keep your graciousness and not be sucked into behaving badly in retaliation for bad behavior. That saying comes to mind: An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

What is the bible verse about how in the last days people will be spoiled, self-centered, entitled and angry (paraphrasing) and the love of many will grow cold, but those that endure to the end are blessed? Well, WDW puts that verse in focus for me. Also, the verse about whatever is good, whatever is pure, whatever is noble, think on these things. Sometimes I just close my eyes and let that run through my mind a time or two, hopefully before I smack the parents in the mouth with the duck torturing brats. :bitelip:
P.S. To the poster that wrote about NYC: :eek: and :scared1: and :eek: again. NYC seems more foreign to me than Cuba, or Turkmenistan. I honestly think I would understand the culture of Kathmandu more easily than NYC. :laughing:

Amen. Amen. Amen!!!! You are so completely correct.

Thank you for this. I, too, need to remember those verses in day to day life. The world is definitely on a downward spiral and it needs people to be a light to others. :)
 
Along with the sense of entitlement and trying to get your money's worth on a very expensive vacation, I think part of the problem is that WDW is exhausting. It's easier to be polite when you first get to the parks and are ready for lots of Disney magic. After hours of standing in overly-long lines and being jostled by other people on a hot/humid day, it's more difficult to play nice. That's not to excuse anyone's poor manners, it's just the way it is.
 
I think that manners have always been bad to some degree but I do agree that the sense of entitlement is out of hand. I don't remember ever so many people who think that everyone cares what they think and do every minute of the day. It's nice to hear other opinions and to share fun things but so much of it is pretty petty.
 
Socrates would have agreed with you. He said (in 400 BC)
“The young people now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.”
Yep & look what happened to Socrates & the entirety of the Athenian empire not long after due mainly to arrogance & an inability to believe they could ever be wrong...
 
As a History buff, i'm loving the quotes and references.

Here's some more. I particularly like #7, the video games of the mid-19th century. :D

1. "So Fatal a Contagion"
From an 1816 issue of the Times of London:

The indecent foreign dance called the Waltz was introduced ... at the English Court on Friday last ... It is quite sufficient to cast one's eyes on the voluptuous intertwining of the limbs, and close compressure of the bodies ... to see that it is far indeed removed from the modest reserve which has hitherto been considered distinctive of English females...[Now that it is] forced on the respectable classes of society by the evil example of their superiors, we feel it a duty to warn every parent against exposing his daughter to so fatal a contagion.


2. "Self-Admiring, Emaciated Fribbles"
In Paris Fashion: A Cultural History, Valerie Steele published a letter sent to Town and Country magazine in November 1771 by a reader who wanted to get something off of his chest:

Whither are the manly vigor and athletic appearance of our forefathers flown? Can these be their legitimate heirs? Surely, no; a race of effeminate, self-admiring, emaciated fribbles can never have descended in a direct line from the heroes of Potiers and Agincourt...


3. "The total neglect of the art of speaking"
In the preface to the 1780 book A General Dictionary of the English Language, Thomas Sheridan wrote:

The total neglect of this art [speaking] has been productive of the worst consequences...in the conduct of all affairs ecclesiastical and civil, in church, in parliament, courts of justice...the wretched state of elocution is apparent to persons of any discernment and taste… if something is not done to stop this growing evil …English is likely to become a mere jargon, which every one may pronounce as he pleases.


4. "Corrupted the Morals of Many a Promising Youth"
In the 1790 book Memoirs of the Bloomsgrove Family, Reverend Enos Hitchcock wrote,

The free access which many young people have to romances, novels, and plays has poisoned the mind and corrupted the morals of many a promising youth; and prevented others from improving their minds in useful knowledge. Parents take care to feed their children with wholesome diet; and yet how unconcerned about the provision for the mind, whether they are furnished with salutary food, or with trash, chaff, or poison?


5. "A Lessening Sense for Both Duty and Discipline"
In 1904, psychologist and educator Granville Stanley Hall published The Psychology of Adolescence, in which he warned that it was a dangerous time, particularly for young folk:

Never has youth been exposed to such dangers of both perversion and arrest as in our own land and day. Increasing urban life with its temptations, prematurities, sedentary occupations, and passive stimuli just when an active life is most needed, early emancipation and a lessening sense for both duty and discipline, the haste to know and do all befitting man's estate before its time, the mad rush for sudden wealth and the reckless fashions set by its gilded youth--all these lack some of the regulatives they still have in older lands with more conservative conditions.


6. "Lax Habits, Low Moral Standards, Hotel Episodes..."
Besides the devil, nothing was more dangerous to the immortal soul than film—at least, according to "The 'Movies'--The Greatest Religious Menace," published in the November 6, 1926 issue of The Pentecostal Evangel:

...[The screen artists'] beauty, their exquisite clothing, their lax habits and low moral standards, are becoming unconsciously appropriated by the plastic minds of American youth. Let them do what they may; divorce scandals, hotel episodes, free love, all are passed over and condoned by the young... The eye-gate is the widest and most easily accessible of all the avenues of the soul; whatever is portrayed on the screen is imprinted indelibly upon the nation's soul.


7. "A Mere Amusement of a Very Inferior Character"
In its July 1859 issue, Scientific American rallied against a wicked game that made both the mind and body weaker—chess:

A pernicious excitement to learn and play chess has spread all over the country, and numerous clubs for practicing this game have been formed in cities and villages...chess is a mere amusement of a very inferior character, which robs the mind of valuable time that might be devoted to nobler acquirements, while it affords no benefit whatever to the body. Chess has acquired a high reputation as being a means to discipline the mind, but persons engaged in sedentary occupations should never practice this cheerless game; they require out-door exercises--not this sort of mental gladiatorship.


8. "A Mendacious Umbrella"
Robert Louis Stevenson, author of Treasure Island, The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and the 1894 essay “The Philosophy of Umbrellas,” could tell a lot about a person based on what they held over their heads when it was raining:

A mendacious umbrella is a sign of great moral degradation. Hypocrisy naturally shelters itself below a silk; while the fast youth goes to visit his religious friends armed with the decent and reputable gingham. May it not be said of the bearers of these inappropriate umbrellas that they go about the streets "with a lie in their right hand"?


9. "Lewd Wicked Children"
In 1695, Robert Russel wrote in A Little Book for Children and Youth (subtitled Being Good Counsel and Instructions for Your Children, Earnestly Exhorting Them to Resist the Temptation of the Devil...):

... I find by sad Experience how the Towns and Streets are filled with lewd wicked Children, and many Children as they have played about the Streets have been heard to curse and swear and call one another Nick-names, and it would grieve ones Heart to hear what bawdy and filthy Communications proceeds from the Mouths of such...


10. "Dogs at Their Heels and Other Evidence of Dissolute Habits"
In a speech to the House of Commons on February 28, 1843, Anthony Ashley Cooper, the 7th Earl of Shaftesbury, ranted:

...a fearful multitude of untutored savages... [boys] with dogs at their heels and other evidence of dissolute habits...[girls who] drive coal-carts, ride astride upon horses, drink, swear, fight, smoke, whistle, and care for nobody...the morals of children are tenfold worse than formerly.


11. "Full of Self-Conceit and Admiration"
It's probably safe to assume that the writer S.B.S. wasn't invited to any more kids' shindigs after "Children And Children's Parties" was published in The Mothers' Journal and Family Visitant in 1853:

... see the simpering little beau of ten gallanting home the little coquette of eight, each so full of self-conceit and admiration of their own dear self, as to have but little to spare for any one else... and confess that the sight is both ridiculous and distressing... the sweet simplicity and artlessness of childhood, which renders a true child so interesting, are gone (like the bloom of the peach rudely nipped off) never to return.


12. "The Mad Spirit of the Times"
In “Degeneracy of Stature,” which appeared in the December 18, 1856 issue of The National Era, Thrace Talmon wrote:

Household luxuries, school-room steam-press systems, and, above all, the mad spirit of the times, have not come to us without a loss more than proportionate...[a young man] rushes headlong, with an impetuosity which strikes fire from the sharp flints under his tread...Occasionally, one of this class...amasses an estate, but at the expense of his peace, and often of his health. The lunatic asylum or the premature grave too frequently winds up his career...We expect each succeeding generation will grow "beautifully less."


13. "A Progeny Yet More Corrupt"
In Book III of Odes, circa 20 BC, Horace wrote:

Our sires' age was worse than our grandsires'. We, their sons, are more
worthless than they; so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more
corrupt.


14. "Youth Were Never More Sawcie"
In his 1624 book The Wise-Man's Forecast against the Evill Time, Thomas Barnes, the minister of St. Margaret's Church on New Fish Street in London, bemoaned:

Youth were never more sawcie, yea never more savagely saucie . . . the ancient are scorned, the honourable are contemned, the magistrate is not dreaded.


15. "Throwing Off Every Kind of Social Restraint "
In Hour of Decision, published in 1933 (and translated by C.F. Atkinson in 1942), Oswald Spengler wrote:

The bad manners of all parliaments, the general tendency to connive at a rather shady business transaction if it promises to bring in money without work, jazz and ***** dances as the spiritual outlet in all circles of society, women painted like prostitutes, the efforts of writers to win popularity by ridiculing...the correctness of well-bred people, and the bad taste shown even by the nobility and old princely families in throwing off every kind of social restraint and time-honoured custom: all of these go to prove that it is now the vulgar mob that gives the tone.

http://mentalfloss.com/article/52209/15-historical-complaints-about-young-people-ruining-everything
 
As bad as what the woman in the ECV said was, I think this comment is absolutely appalling. A decent person would never speak that way to anyone and certainly not in public!

Yawn. Big deal. The poster wasn't a decent person then. But her comment was spot on.

Moving this to the Community Board.

Ah, that explains why I didn't recognize many of the names in the first two pages of the thread.

I religiously hold the door open and try to spell like-minded gentlemen who have been stuck holding the door for an endless stream that has developed by the time I get there. I'd say the number of thank-yous run right at about 50%. It's nice to hear, but the way I was raised it isn't really a voluntary action for me, so I'm not really disheartened if I don't hear a "thank you". It's more about what I feel is my obligation, so I'd actually rather hold the door for a woman who completely ignores me while walking through than to have a very polite woman decline to allow me to hold the door for her.

.

I do hope you're not one of the people (of either gender) who hold the door open for me while I'm still 30+ feet away. I appreciate the effort, but I feel like I have to rush not to delay the person. It's OK to let the door close.
 
I do hope you're not one of the people (of either gender) who hold the door open for me while I'm still 30+ feet away. I appreciate the effort, but I feel like I have to rush not to delay the person. It's OK to let the door close.

LOL, no.

I'd say my cut-off is probably around 10-12 feet unless they (man or woman) are going to have difficulty opening the door (handful of packages/kids/stroller, etc) - then I might stretch it a bit.
 
Along with the sense of entitlement and trying to get your money's worth on a very expensive vacation, I think part of the problem is that WDW is exhausting. It's easier to be polite when you first get to the parks and are ready for lots of Disney magic. After hours of standing in overly-long lines and being jostled by other people on a hot/humid day, it's more difficult to play nice. That's not to excuse anyone's poor manners, it's just the way it is.

Excellent point!
 
I will be happy when a full ban is placed on scooters. The parks are now too full for this type of thing and when you've got a whole family on scooters riding 5 across I have a hard time believing all those people are wheelchair bound. It's more like "don't want to walk that far" bound and it wastes everyone's time when they take ten minutes to load on the bus then take up 10 seats on the bus for 2 people (8 for the scooters and 2 for the people who were riding them) it inconveniences everyone.

The wheelchair was invented for those with mobility issues. Time to return to that, and I bet the count would go way down once people who didn't want to walk had to propel themselves around the park.
 
Agree with the poster about the lovely manners and civility in Japan. I spend all of my holidays in southeast Asia, and am continually amazed by the service ethic, civility, graciousness and more in these countries (Thailand, Cambodia, Japan, etc). Sure, there will be bad apples, but in general, my experiences in Asia have been amazing. Traveling home to the states results in instant culture shock, from the rude customs agents at LAX, to the snarky cab drivers and so on. My suburban community east of Los Angeles feels quite unfriendly, and quite frankly unsafe, the longer I am away from home. After living abroad for so long, I am actually feeling anxiety about coming home for the summer holiday! When I see or experience abject rudeness at home, I no longer engage because I fear the oaf will be packing a gun. So, we sit in a restaurant dealing with loud, obnoxious people swearing at the top of their lungs and have to suffer in silence. UGH.
 


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