My Dh Just Surrendered Our Cat

[DisneyFan32WI]

I'm sorry if this post is full of typos and what not, but I am crying at my computer and I am shaking.

We have 3 cats. 2 of them are brother/sister. They are 8 years old. We adopted a stray almost 2 years ago. He doesn't get along with the girl cat. He stalks her, chases her, etc. He does, however, get along with the male cat. They are the best buddies in the entire world. They roll around together all day long.

The girl cat has been pooping around the house over the last 3 months. Just within the last 2 weeks she has started to PEE around the house. I can tolerate the poop, but obviously can't take the peeing. Today, I came home from work to take a short nap and my bed was SOAKING wet. EVERYTHING was ruined. Down comforter, bedspread, sheets, mattress pad and mattress.

I'm sure it's behavioral. The boy really doesn't leave her alone-even to pee! I think he enjoys the "hunt" or thinks he can play with her like he does with the boy.
Anyway, my dh is fed up and took her to the Humane Society to surrender her. My DD is upstairs crying her eyes out. She is not happy with us. I am at the computer cying because I don't know if this was the right decision. It is a no-kill shelter, so I am happy about that.

I think I am going to hell for what I did. Who just gives away their family member that they have had for 8 years? Ughh..I feel like I am a failure and that I have given up. I should've fought harder to keep her? Maybe this is best? I am really beating myself up...I can't stop crying.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

What a mess. I am so sorry you are going through this.

 

[Mandychelle79]

We have had issues with our cats from time to time. Each time we were able to find the reason for it but it was getting to the point we were ready to get rid of them. Ours were pooping on things because we shut our dd's bedroom door and they wanted to sleep with her. Opened the door, issue went away.

 

[wvjules]

If the peeing on stuff is new maybe she has a UTI or diabetes or some other medical issue. Too late to get her checked by a vet now though.

BTW, where were you when your DH took your cat of 8 years to the animal shelter? And why did he choose to get rid of her if you believe the adopted stray cat is the cause of her problems? Shoulnd't he have been the one to go?

Oh and I think its pretty crappy to surrender an animal before finding out what might have been medically wrong with it. What is going to happen to the other two if the develop some behaviioral issues because their companion is now gone?

 

[savannahcat]

It may be too late for this now, but when we had this issue with one of our female cats, the vet advised us to try a litter additive called something like "cat attract". This was after testing for a UTI came back negative. It worked like a charm and we were able to keep her, although my DH will never forget the time she peed on his LaZBoy recliner!

Did you try separating the male from her to see if that helped?

ETA: The vet also recommended removing the lids from the litter boxes, so that she wouldn't feel "trapped" inside by another of our cats.

 

[Angelhalo]

If the peeing on stuff is new maybe she has a UTI or diabetes or some other medical issue. Too late to get her checked by a vet now though.

BTW, where were you when your DH took your cat of 8 years to the animal shelter? And why did he choose to get rid of her if you believe the adopted stray cat is the cause of her problems? Shoulnd't he have been the one to go?

Oh and I think its pretty crappy to surrender an animal before finding out what might have been medically wrong with it. What is going to happen to the other two if the develop some behaviioral issues because their companion is now gone?

I'm positive that at some point, someone will come along and tell you how mean your post is, but I have to completely agree with you.

 

[paintnolish]

Prepare to be flamed but not by me. When my dcs were babies we had 2 cats and one dog- no problems with any of them. They all got along. Well, the youngest cat who was about 2 started peeing inside the house. We took her to the vet- nothing wrong with her. Bought the expensive pheramone spray- didn't work. We gave it time and tried everything. My house was not a litterbox, especially with 2 babies. We were about to give her to a no-kill shelter when our single friends said they'd take her. We thought maybe she'd do better as a single pet. Not really, but it delayed her trip to the shelter. Then they took her to the shelter AND THEN took her back! Eventually, they passed her onto an old lady.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Not everyone can afford new carpeting, bedding, and multiple cat vet bills. I know our peer eats $70 worth of food a month, takes antibiotics about every 3 months, and is tested each time for crystals.

She is a money pit. We love her anyway, but I understand the quandry.

 

[RayaniFoxmur]

If the peeing on stuff is new maybe she has a UTI or diabetes or some other medical issue. Too late to get her checked by a vet now though.

BTW, where were you when your DH took your cat of 8 years to the animal shelter? And why did he choose to get rid of her if you believe the adopted stray cat is the cause of her problems? Shoulnd't he have been the one to go?

Oh and I think its pretty crappy to surrender an animal before finding out what might have been medically wrong with it. What is going to happen to the other two if the develop some behaviioral issues because their companion is now gone?

I'm positive that at some point, someone will come along and tell you how mean your post is, but I have to completely agree with you.

 

[luvmy3]

I can understand being fed up with her behavior, but what I can't understand is not at least trying to find out what was going on with her before getting rid of her.

 

[Eliza32]

Sorry, but why did you let him do it? The stray should've gone first. What happens to her now, she's not just a disposible commodity. You should be ashamed!
Harsh I know, but you asked !!!!

 

[bumbershoot]

We've only had one cat (as adults...I grew up with 3, no, 4 total outdoor hunting cats). We were her 4th home, and even though I realized quickly that I should not have her (severe allergies, it turned out) because she'd been re-homed so often I didn't have the heart.

We should have found someone new for her. But we didn't. It was a struggle the whole time we had her. She had allergies and pretty much all she could eat was Trader Joes "tuna for cats", though we'd just started feeding her raw food when she ran away. She couldn't be around ANY other animals as they would beat her up (she always ended up being kept in a cage to keep her safe from other animals in the households before us), she couldn't be around little kids (at least not MY little kid) b/c she was very small and light but had so much fur she looked burly and strong, and she would get hurt. She drooled and sometimes peed and...she just had very big issues.

Ultimately she ran away after being ill all over the area where we were keeping her (trying ot keep her safe from our son, just like her previous owners had had to keep her safe from their animals, though we had her in a room vs a cage), when hubby was cleaning up and had the doors open.

It would have been much better to find someone else for her.

So I'm not morally opposed to finding a new home for an animal if you're not the best place for it anymore.

However...I think we would have re-homed the new cat instead of the old one especially since the 8 year old cats were siblings and had been together for their whole lives. And I would have made sure that it wasn't something that could be fixed, first.



But compared to just keeping them all in that situation that must have been horribly stressful for the girl cat and not getting her checked out...your husband's decision was good. Hopefully she'll be put in a home without a "bully" cat in it.

 

[wvjules]

Prepare to be flamed but not by me. When my dcs were babies we had 2 cats and one dog- no problems with any of them. They all got along. Well, the youngest cat who was about 2 started peeing inside the house. We took her to the vet- nothing wrong with her. Bought the expensive pheramone spray- didn't work. We gave it time and tried everything. My house was not a litterbox, especially with 2 babies. We were about to give her to a no-kill shelter when our single friends said they'd take her. We thought maybe she'd do better as a single pet. Not really, but it delayed her trip to the shelter. Then they took her to the shelter AND THEN took her back! Eventually, they passed her onto an old lady.

There is the difference. No vet, no attempts at modifying behavior, nothing....just got rid of her.

 

[Imzadi]

Unfortunately animals that have a peeing/pooping problem are pretty much the main cause for people turning in pets. They are usually unable to be adopted out again. Unless it's going to be an outdoors cat, no one wants to adopt one into their house.

 

[palmtreegirl]

That must have been a hard decision to make.

 

[DVCLiz]

If you'd just had her put to sleep I'd be more inclined to side with the haters, but since it was a no-kill shelter I think you made the right decision. I love my pets dearly but I wouldn't let an animal destroy my house with urine and feces - too close to "Hoarders" for my taste.

 

[missj1975]

I am very surprised that you decided to remove the sibling first, the one that wasn't even the one peeing everywhere. Actually I am quite shocked the more I think about it. I had two cats that were siblings. When one of the siblings passed away, the other sibling was very sad for the longest time.

I just can't imagine getting rid of a pet I had for eight years because another pet had a peeing problem. I wouldn't even of gotten rid of the eight year old for peeing unless I thought the problem couldn't be corrected. Doesn't sound to me like you even tried to figure out a solution for the peeing issue.

I am also not for sure why you think the comforter is ruined just because it was peed on. Target, Walmart, Kmart all sell products that remove cat stains. Sorry can't think of the name at the moment but i have used the spray on a comforter that a cat accidently peed on, then threw the comforter in the wash and it was good as new. Absolutely no after smell at all and the cat never had an accident again. Turns out she had a bladder infection and peeing on soft blankets didn't hurt as much as peeing in the litter box.

 

[Hannathy]

Sorry, but why did you let him do it? The stray should've gone first. What happens to her now, she's not just a disposible commodity. You should be ashamed!
Harsh I know, but you asked !!!!

I agree with this post!!!

That is why it is such a big decision in getting a pet, once you do they are yours good and bad.
I could never do that to an animal that trusted me for 8 yrs. At 8yrs it will be very difficult to be adopted and will probably spend a very long time in a cage hoping it's family comes back and wondering why it deserted it.
Very sad If my DH even thought of doing something like that I'd be at that shelter getting the cat and he had better be thinking of finding a shelter for his butt.

 

[Jennasis]

Wow. Sad situation. I have two barn cats (that I raised from birth). They are almost 8. Brother and sister.

A stray showed up a few weeks ago (a male) and has made himself at home. My female HATES him and picks fights with him all the time. She's very territorial.

They are outdoor cats exclusively (but don't tell them that...they still love to snuggle). If I had any issue with them and the stray like you described that was destructive to my property in some way, I would bring them to the vet immediately.

Sorry. You guys made a bad call. 8 years out the window. I wonder if my mother contemplated giving me away for the numerous bedspreads and mattresses I ruined as a bed-peeing kid (for many years). The cat is a part of the family or it isn't.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

Wow. Sad situation. I have two barn cats (that I raised from birth). They are almost 8. Brother and sister.

A stray showed up a few weeks ago (a male) and has made himself at home. My female HATES him and picks fights with him all the time. She's very territorial.

They are outdoor cats exclusively (but don't tell them that...they still love to snuggle). If I had any issue with them and the stray like you described that was destructive to my property in some way, I would bring them to the vet immediately.

Sorry. You guys made a bad call. 8 years out the window. I wonder if my mother contemplated giving me away for the numerous bedspreads and mattresses I ruined as a bed-peeing kid (for many years). The cat is a part of the family or it isn't.

She probably should have. Cats and people are so similar, dontcha think?