My dd2 was called a BRAT today @Walmart:(

[KAMKIM]

I bet if we talked to some of the moms of these DISers they'd all say they were perfect children at 2.

 

[luvmy3]

ITA.

For what it's worth, let's remember that the child is 2. Two year olds don't always act the way we want. Most people try not to take a child to the store when they need a nap, but sometimes life happens.

I would have felt sorry for the mom (most of us with kids have been there, done that) and offered her an encouraging smile. For goodness sake - it's Walmart, not the Ritz!

 

[sandramaac]

What? I hope you are joking.


And I have to agree, take the kid home or come back later when the kids in a better mood. Yes, I have kids and yes they have had temper tantrums. I have never left them in the store for everyone to continue to hear the results of their tantrum. I remove them from the situation.

Gosh I was in Wal-Mart once and this lady let her kid scream continuously for atleast 1/2 hour. Someone did say something to her. And the mom said I am trying to teach him he can't have his way. Fine but why do we all have to have headaches because you want to teach your kid a lesson.

lol's--yes I am joking I would have just said that to her

 

[sandramaac]

Sorry but you were both wrong. You may see nothing wrong with your child screeching but to others it's nails on a chalk board. My kids know that you use indoor voices in a store. Even being loud is enough to be removed from a store. My kids know that I'm as serious as a heart attack and it took once removing them from a store to teach that lesson and it's never happened again. We walk holding hands using an indoor voice and stay out of other peoples way. We teach by example and you let her screech this time so she now knows she can and she will do it again. That said the woman should have kept her opinion to herself.

To the poster who said harrasement charges LOL way to waste a police officers time. They would not press charges.

I was joking---I would have just told her that---would not call police

 

[Darsa]

Believe it or not, my kid never shrieked like that, at any time, since she was born. One of the reasons I only had one; I was afraid the next would do the shrieking for both of 'em!

 

[ICF]

For what it's worth, let's remember that the child is 2. Two year olds don't always act the way we want. Most people try not to take a child to the store when they need a nap, but sometimes life happens.

I would have felt sorry for the mom (most of us with kids have been there, done that) and offered her an encouraging smile. For goodness sake - it's Walmart, not the Ritz!

I don't think most people have issue with the child...2 year olds will be 2 year olds.

The issue for most is that the MOTHER of said 2 year old seemed to think that people shouldnt be annoyed at her screeching daughter, and then proceeded to tell people that if they don't like be annoyed by HER child that they should go shop on line since public places will be loud. The MOTHER took no responsibilities for the actions on that day and didn't see where SHE was at all at fault for taking a tired screeching child to walmart to annoy everyone around her.

And really....is it ok to annoy people at Walmart but not other places? The whole....it is just walmart so it's no big deal attitude is funny. No matter the location if your child is annoying everyone around you, you as the PARENT should do something to rectify the situation and not expect others to put up with it or just avoid you.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't think most people have issue with the child...2 year olds will be 2 year olds.

The issue for most is that the MOTHER of said 2 year old seemed to think that people shouldnt be annoyed at her screeching daughter, and then proceeded to tell people that if they don't like be annoyed by HER child that they should go shop on line since public places will be loud. The MOTHER took no responsibilities for the actions on that day and didn't see where SHE was at all at fault for taking a tired screeching child to walmart to annoy everyone around her.

And really....is it ok to annoy people at Walmart but not other places? The whole....it is just walmart so it's no big deal attitude is funny. No matter the location if your child is annoying everyone around you, you as the PARENT should do something to rectify the situation and not expect others to put up with it or just avoid you.

Thats not exactly accurate, the OP's issue was that the woman came up to her and told her to control her child, and then proceeded to call her a brat. So, while the posters here may have more of an issue with the OP, clearly the woman in Walmart had an issue with the 2 year old as well. I can't imagine what kind of unhappy existence one must live if they feel compelled to call a shrieking 2 year old a brat, no matter what they feel about the mother.

 

[Scurvy]

I bet if we talked to some of the moms of these DISers they'd all say they were perfect children at 2.

I don't get why people keep harping on the "perfect kid" thing. I haven't seen anyone on the thread claim to have perfect kids, or claim to have been a perfect kid. Just because some of us think that it isn't appropriate to allow a screeching child to annoy everyone else in a public place does not mean that our children were perfect. Mine certainly wasn't. He threw a couple of very impressive tantrums in public. And then I took him home and he learned that he couldn't behave that way in public without missing out on a fun outing. He liked to make loud noises just to hear himself, and so I taught him the difference between an "inside voice" and an "outside voice". My child was mostly well behaved because I taught him to be. How else was he supposed to learn? I didn't expect everyone else to put up with his tantrums or screeching. No one else should expect me (or anyone else) to put up with that sort of thing from their children.

As for the whole "it's just Walmart" thing. . . yes, it's just Walmart. But most people who are saying it's just Walmart are also saying that the kid is 2 and can't be expected to adhere to adult standards yet. A two year old can't be expected to tell the difference between Walmart and the Ritz. She can be expected to tell the difference between "inside" and "outside", and "public place" and "home". With a child that age, it's much easier to teach her that loud voices are not appropriate for public places than it would be to teach her that loud noises are not appropriate for public places except for Walmart. (Although frankly I disagree that screeching is appropriate behavior even at a Walmart. If you want to let your child screech at home, go for it. It isn't appropriate behavior for any public building where others are going to have to deal with it, though.)

 

[luvmy3]

I don't get why people keep harping on the "perfect kid" thing. I haven't seen anyone on the thread claim to have perfect kids, or claim to have been a perfect kid. Just because some of us think that it isn't appropriate to allow a screeching child to annoy everyone else in a public place does not mean that our children were perfect. Mine certainly wasn't. He threw a couple of very impressive tantrums in public. And then I took him home and he learned that he couldn't behave that way in public without missing out on a fun outing. He liked to make loud noises just to hear himself, and so I taught him the difference between an "inside voice" and an "outside voice". My child was mostly well behaved because I taught him to be. How else was he supposed to learn? I didn't expect everyone else to put up with his tantrums or screeching. No one else should expect me (or anyone else) to put up with that sort of thing from their children.

As for the whole "it's just Walmart" thing. . . yes, it's just Walmart. But most people who are saying it's just Walmart are also saying that the kid is 2 and can't be expected to adhere to adult standards yet. A two year old can't be expected to tell the difference between Walmart and the Ritz. She can be expected to tell the difference between "inside" and "outside", and "public place" and "home". With a child that age, it's much easier to teach her that loud voices are not appropriate for public places than it would be to teach her that loud noises are not appropriate for public places except for Walmart. (Although frankly I disagree that screeching is appropriate behavior even at a Walmart. If you want to let your child screech at home, go for it. It isn't appropriate behavior for any public building where others are going to have to deal with it, though.)

Do you have kids? Two is too young to completely understand this concept. Two is too young to think to themselves, "well I'm not at home now, I better make sure I don't act up".

 

[wdwfan16]

Thats not exactly accurate, the OP's issue was that the woman came up to her and told her to control her child, and then proceeded to call her a brat. So, while the posters here may have more of an issue with the OP, clearly the woman in Walmart had an issue with the 2 year old as well. I can't imagine what kind of unhappy existence one must live if they feel compelled to call a shrieking 2 year old a brat, no matter what they feel about the mother.

What I find interesting is that the OP NEVER said she tried to stop her daughter from shrieking. That was telling and is most likely why the women said anything. I would never get made at a mother who was really trying to stop the noise. If the OP, as I suspect, just ignored what the 2 year old was doing I too would have had enough and spoken up.

Why did the OP note keep here napless chld at home and do what she wanted the wome to do and shop on-line?

 

[AustinTink]

Believe it or not, my kid never shrieked like that, at any time, since she was born. One of the reasons I only had one; I was afraid the next would do the shrieking for both of 'em!

I was just thinking the same thing about my son, but was afraid to post! I also have an only child. He used to stare at his little 2 year old friends when they would shriek like they were aliens. He would wrinkle his nose and look at me like, "What the heck?"

This thread is very interesting to me considering I have no experience with a shrieker. I can definitely see both sides as valid.

 

[belle&sebastiansmom]

Agreed luvmy3.

My 2 year old is LEARNING. I don't EXPECT him to know how to behave in every situation. It's a process and it's my job to teach and reinforce.

OP, I feel for you.

 

[Scurvy]

Do you have kids? Two is too young to completely understand this concept. Two is too young to think to themselves, "well I'm not at home now, I better make sure I don't act up".

Yes. (I actually mentioned that in the post you quoted; you might have missed that.) I am also a teacher. Two year olds are not old enough to have mastered the concept of "public place" versus "home". They are certainly old enough to begin to learn the concept. Something like knowing the difference between Walmart and a "nicer" public place is far too advanced for them. At that age, it works much better if you approach it as a black and white issue, by saying that loud voices in a public place are not acceptable. As they get older you can begin to explore the variations that are acceptable in different types of public places.

ETA - Of course I agree with you that a two year old is too young to remember not to act up in a public place. That's why a parent needs to remind them of that rather than just ignoring the screeching and expecting their fellow shoppers to do the same. If the reminder doesn't stop the behavior, then the parent needs to remove the child from the situation so that the other shoppers don't have to listen to the screeching.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

Thank you to all the supportive posters......Having 5 children, 4 of whom are in many extracurricular activities and a dh who is out of town for a week and when he is home, works 12 hour days, spends 1 1/2hrs.commuting each day and has limited days off....I don't get many opportunities to shop alone. That said, I will shop anytime I have to and want to, during the day. I do the best I can.

My dd2 has had many non nap days and was a perfect angel, been shopping during the afternoon many times with absolutely no issues.

Did I get annoyed or mad at this woman for the hugea-- motorized thing she was on getting in my way or taking up the entire aisle? Or the annoying beeping noises from the dang thing when she put it in reverse. Or her ugly, dorky looking halloween clothes(she should have been wearing a witch costume to match her personality)? No, its called tolerating and dealing with people/everyday life situations.

Maybe HER mother should have taught her not to be arragant and rude to people. I bet she was the biggest brat of all and looks like shes carried it into adulthood.

My 2 year old is definitely not the first in a public place to be loud....and thats all it was was loud. NO CRYING, NOTHING. SHE WASN'T HAVING A MELTDOWN OR ANYTHING ELSE, JUST SCREECHING TO HEAR HERSELF.

If people don't want to hear possible "loud noises" (which is pretty much anywhere you are in public) STAY HOME!!!! SHOP ONLINE.

My baby was strapped into a cart not doing anything but making noise. Not running wildly through a store or pulling stuff off shelves. I don't see any reason for someone to say "take care of your child", "she's a brat", "your a b....". Im so glad my dd2 didn't understand what came out of the womans mouth. Or that my other 4 children were with me and heard someone call their mother that.

When it comes down to it, that kind of behavior from an adult versus a 2 yr. old who doesn't know any better, is whats wrong in this day and age. If we had kinder, more understanding, tolerable people out there, the world would be a much better place.

The judgemental people here must never have been in this situation or don't have kids. I really would love to see what you would have done. I will shop anytime I wish to. The situation imo, did not call for me to leave the store, which I will state, has NEVER happened! I need to get what I need to get and have no other time to do it. I run the household and the kids, they don't run me. That said, I would not deliberatly take a melting down, screaming kid into a public place. But a kid who is being loud????

Its amazing to me how some moms are so judgemental and criticising of other moms. We are all doing the same thing. I would think we would be more supportive and understanding of each other. Not say, "you shouldn't have done this or you should have done that".

Public places = noisy. My child was not calling this woman a brat or b.... like she said to us. She was the one that was wrong here, not me.

I tend to be a very emotional, tenderhearted person. I wish I was more thickskinned(probably comes with being teased as a kid for having red hair.)

Being criticised for the most important job of your life, hurts and sucks.

I am part of the camp that believes there is a HUGE difference between a child having a meltdown, which 99% of parents are sympathetic of, and a parent continuing to shop while allowing a child to screetch just to hear herself.

Another parent can usually tell the difference between a tired and cranky meltdown and behavior not appropriate. Most parents would do the BTDT smile and move on while witnessing a meltdown. But a child that the mother admits is not having a meltdown, but is just screetching is not behavior that elicits any kind of sympathy.

The OP even admits she wasn't having a meltdown and that she wouldn't purposely take a melting down child shopping. But again she states that the child was not melting down and just being loud.

That IS bratty behavior, but on the part of the parent who thinks that everybody should tolerate the "noise."

I wouldn't have said anything, but I would have secretly applauded the woman who did.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I think we're talking about a two year old's mother who allowed her child to screech to the point that another shopper felt compelled to call her out on it.

Regardless if we hear the other side or not--it really isn't a valid defense.

My 9yo and 7yo try to do this all the time.

"Well I couldn't help myself--they made me do it."

Hogwash.

An adult is fully capable of controlling themselves...and if they can't, then perhaps they should rethink their participation in public venues.

It's a shame that we are holding a 2yo to a higher standard than an adult woman.

There is no self defense here--and it is simply foolish to continue using that argument as a defense of a woman who felt compelled to name call in public b/c she didn't like what she was hearing.

I can't say that I enjoy a tantrum anymore than anyone else--but I'm old enough to know better than to throw one myself when I don't like something in public.

 

[DizBelle]

Aww, I'm blushing. I'm not a perfect parent. I've done plenty of things wrong. But I had a wiser woman tell me when my kids were very young: "Fit the child for the road, not the road for the child." Everybody thinks their kids are special. I sure do. But I can't use their "specialness" as an excuse to pardon bad behavior.

Christian can really be a bird sometimes. I love him to pieces, but he can get on my last nerve, especially at the dinner table. He went through a long period of acting out at the table, throwing his plate, throwing cups, grabbing food bowls, turning over iced tea, just everything you don't want your kids to do. He might be "special" but he's not so special that he gets to break the rules. No ma'am, he was removed from the table instantly and taken to his room. He missed a few meals, but it didn't hurt him. He got it. I didn't allow my other 2 year olds to act like that and he had to be taught the same thing, except for him it took literally YEARS for him to get it. But now, at 14, we can actually take him out to lunch at sit-down restaurants--heck, he's even gone to that nice French restaurant in EPCOT and he did great!

It's all in the wrist

I think I'm going to start a new religion devoted to the worship of "minkydog the parent"!

I swear, I think you are doing more things right as a parent than most.

 

[luvmy3]

What I find interesting is that the OP NEVER said she tried to stop her daughter from shrieking. That was telling and is most likely why the women said anything. I would never get made at a mother who was really trying to stop the noise. If the OP, as I suspect, just ignored what the 2 year old was doing I too would have had enough and spoken up.

Why did the OP note keep here napless chld at home and do what she wanted the wome to do and shop on-line?

Regardless of whether the OP tried to quiet her child ( only the OP can answer that), the woman called a 2 year old a brat, what kind of person does that

 

[jodifla]

Regardless if we hear the other side or not--it really isn't a valid defense.

My 9yo and 7yo try to do this all the time.

"Well I couldn't help myself--they made me do it."

Hogwash.

An adult is fully capable of controlling themselves...and if they can't, then perhaps they should rethink their participation in public venues.

It's a shame that we are holding a 2yo to a higher standard than an adult woman.

There is no self defense here--and it is simply foolish to continue using that argument as a defense of a woman who felt compelled to name call in public b/c she didn't like what she was hearing.

I can't say that I enjoy a tantrum anymore than anyone else--but I'm old enough to know better than to throw one myself when I don't like something in public.

Another great post, Lisa. ITA!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Do you have kids? Two is too young to completely understand this concept. Two is too young to think to themselves, "well I'm not at home now, I better make sure I don't act up".

I have kids and no, 2 is not too young to know how to behave. As a parent you remind them and make sure there are consequences if they cannot behave as they are expected.

I really have to say that I am tired of reading "It's only Walmart not the Ritz."
I don't care if it is a thrift store in the middle of a garbage dump! That is no reason to let your child act like a beast! Have respect for others no matter where you go. Are the people of Walmart any less important than the people at the Ritz? What a ridiculous thing to say.

 

[JoBird]

A public place is just that. Public.

Which means if someone is there that is annoying the CRAP out of you, you have the option of leaving. You certainly don't have to stand there and take the "abuse".

And you certainly don't go up to someone and make it your personal crusade to try to tell someone how to parent their child.
I mean really. How self-righteous can you be?????????

What does it solve? The child will continue to wail, the mom will be frazzled b/c it's obvious that she is there BECAUSE SHE NEEDS TO BE AT THAT MOMENT (Furthermore, it's not up to you to judge why she is there right then and if she could come back later- you don't know her or the world she lives in) and you will continue to be put out b/c you don't live in a your own little chalkboard world with Beethoven playing in the background where no one utters a sound.


I'm sure Moms don't say as they are leaving to go to the store--"Come on Little Johnny, lets go annoy people at WalMart today- I hear so- and so- is going to be there-- let's see if we can ruin their day."

Is it annoying? Sure it is. Is it going to kill you in the next ten minutes? Probably not.

But if you place yourself into the position of being the judge and jury of what someone should or shouldn't do with their kid without even knowing that person or their circumstances at all--- don't be surprised at whatever is dished back at you.

I think a lot of times people forget that they need to do some sweeping of their own back stoop before peering over the fence into the neighbor's yard to say what is wrong next door.

Jo