My DD was so scared she peed her pants

[wvjules]

Yesterday afternoon my DD's friend came over for a while to play. They then decided to go to the friend's house for a little while. It was 6:15. I told her she needed to be home by 6:45 since its starting to get dark out early. Five minutes after she left, she comes running the door crying her eyes out.

Apparently when they got to her friends house the mom told DD that she needed to go home since it was getting dark. While the mom is telling DD this, her friend is standing there making faces which prompts DD to laugh. The mom then raises her hand to hit DD. She took off running (leaving her bike behind). The mother yelled to her "you better run". DD was so scared she peed her pants while running home.

After I got DD settled down and found out what happened, we went over there to get her bike. DD stayed in the car. I walk over to her bike and the mom comes storming out the door saying that her daughter doesn't sass her like that and mine won't either. Ok fine, I can understand that but that doesn't justify her attempt to hit my DD. I then asked the friend if she was making faces that made DD laugh. She said she was. I told the mom that if she EVER hit my DD she'd regret it. She then asked if I wanted her to call the cops. I asked her why and she said b/c I accused her of hitting DD. I clarified saying that I didn't accuse her of it, just raising her hand to her to atttempt to and she better never even think of hitting her. Friend's mom and I had more words then when I was leaving they headed in the house. I heard the mom yell at her DD accusing her of lying then I heard her hit her.

DD and this girl have been friends for years and having them not be able to be friends anymore sucks but DD will NEVER go to this friends house again. And it will be a long time before her friend is allowed at our house.

I'm so freakin mad! I don't smack/spank my DD and I'll be damned if someone else will. (BTW, I don't think the mom beats her DD or else I would have done something.)

Oh and if any of you remember my previous stories....this is the same woman.

 

[Maleficent13]

I don't remember any of the previous stories, but this one was enough to make me

 

[hugsquared]

I would be steaming mad too. But I wouldn't punish the friend by not letting her come over. You home may be the only normal/stable environment she see's. And I just feel if the mom screamed like that at her daughter in front of you and you could hear her hitting her, there's probably a lot worse that goes on in real private. I would be afraid for that child.
Hope your DD is okay now.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I would be shaking with anger. I can see why you would never let your DD back there, but why couldn't her friend come to your house? If you heard the mom hit the girl, you know what kind of a life she must have there. wouldn't your house be a kind of "safe haven" for a few hours a day/week?

I guess I am not understanding why the girl has to suffer for having an @#% of a mother.

BTW, I had a friends mother call me a "bold face liar" and to get out, and I was not welcome there anymore. Why? Because my friend and I made plans for me to spend the night (I was around 15). When she asked her mom, her mom told her I needed to ask my mom 1st. I knew my mom would let me. I was at a point with my mom where I did not have to ask. I just had to let her know what I was doing. So, at the time, rather than bother with phoning my mom, we wanted to take off and hang out, we said we called and it was OK. (Our big plan was to just go to my house, grab some clothes, and let my mom know what I was doing). Before we headed to my house after "hanging out" ( I mean, what do you call it when two 15 year olds are just walking around, talking, LOL) we went back to her house for a few minutes. happily chatting it up. Her mom comes storming in the room, furious. I had already told her my mom said I could sleep over, remember? Well, while we were gone, she called my mom. And my poor mom, not knowing anything about the plans, had no idea I was planning on sleeping over. Not that she had a problem with it. MAN, this woman freaked on me. The funny thing is, I didn't have to lie to my mom, because everything I did was on the straight and narrow. Meanwhile, THIS FRIEND, whose mom was calling me a "bold faced liar" was constantly lying to her mom so she could sneak off with some boy, or smoke a cigarette. Boy, did that lady have it wrong. I remember how it felt, to have another adult in my face other than my mother. and how scary that is.

When I told my mom what happened, she was as confused as I was, and thought it best I just "didn't go over there anymore". But my friend was allowed at my house, even if she had to lie to be there.

 

[ckay87]

I can't believe she raised a hand to your daughter. That THAT was her first reaction to just being irritated by someone else's kid makes me very afraid for her daughter.

I don't know the other stories - is the kid basically good? It's a shame you can't have her over just to rescue her from her own homelife, but just being involved with that family sounds like trouble waiting to happen.

So sorry for you - this must be very difficult, but you're right to cut off ties.

 

[LauraR]

Wow, what a rotten person that mother is! I'd be tempted to report her to social services, since she sounds like she'd be the type to hit her daughter pretty frequently. Man, I've gotten mad at some of my kids' friends, but I can't imagine EVER threatening to hit one of them!

I'm sorry this has happened to you and your DD. I can imagine how upsetting it is for both of you. It's a shame, since the girls have been friends for awhile. How old are they?

 

[wvjules]

I'm sure she spanks her DD when she needs it but I'm pretty positive that she doesn't abuse or beat her. If I thought she did then I would do something about it. The friend is a good kid and I hate them not being able to be friends anymore but I think its for the best. The reason I cut off all ties is b/c this is the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I hesistate to have her DD come to my house for fear of her suing me or calling the cops or CPS for some stupid reason (she calls CPS regularly, we had a visit from them last year b/c of a call from her as have half of the people with kids that live near us). The mom is a whack job. Once she raised a hand to my DD, its over! I fear for that woman if she did actually hit my DD.

BTW, they are both 10. My DD goes to a different school this year so they don't go to school together anymore.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would not allow my child at the friends house, but I would allow her at my house. What a lesson in bad parenting the girls witnessed. I can never imagine even acting like I was going to hit a visiting child. That's one crazy mom!

 

[Quackmore]

Yesterday afternoon my DD's friend came over for a while to play. They then decided to go to the friend's house for a little while. It was 6:15. I told her she needed to be home by 6:45 since its starting to get dark out early. Five minutes after she left, she comes running the door crying her eyes out.

Apparently when they got to her friends house the mom told DD that she needed to go home since it was getting dark. While the mom is telling DD this, her friend is standing there making faces which prompts DD to laugh. The mom then raises her hand to hit DD. She took off running (leaving her bike behind). The mother yelled to her "you better run". DD was so scared she peed her pants while running home.

After I got DD settled down and found out what happened, we went over there to get her bike. DD stayed in the car. I walk over to her bike and the mom comes storming out the door saying that her daughter doesn't sass her like that and mine won't either. Ok fine, I can understand that but that doesn't justify her attempt to hit my DD. I then asked the friend if she was making faces that made DD laugh. She said she was. I told the mom that if she EVER hit my DD she'd regret it. She then asked if I wanted her to call the cops. I asked her why and she said b/c I accused her of hitting DD. I clarified saying that I didn't accuse her of it, just raising her hand to her to atttempt to and she better never even think of hitting her. Friend's mom and I had more words then when I was leaving they headed in the house. I heard the mom yell at her DD accusing her of lying then I heard her hit her.

DD and this girl have been friends for years and having them not be able to be friends anymore sucks but DD will NEVER go to this friends house again. And it will be a long time before her friend is allowed at our house.

I'm so freakin mad! I don't smack/spank my DD and I'll be damned if someone else will. (BTW, I don't think the mom beats her DD or else I would have done something.)

Oh and if any of you remember my previous stories....this is the same woman.

All I can say is WOW!!! What a messed up individual. I think I would have called the police. And you said it will be a long time until your daughter plays with the other girl. I would say NEVER again due to the whacky mother. Jeesh!!!

 

[Rajah]

Wow, what a rotten person that mother is! I'd be tempted to report her to social services, since she sounds like she'd be the type to hit her daughter pretty frequently.

I agree, if you've ever seen or heard anything like this before. This sounds like more than your average "spanking"

 

[iggbees]

wow, your poor daughter. i think it would make me mad if someone threatened to hit my child too.

i remember when i was in either 2nd or 3rd grade i was at a birthday party and being a kid and teasing the brother of the girl whose birthday it was. he was a little younger than us. i was taken aside by their furious mom who threatened me and yelled at me because i was teasing him (i think i was being silly with cake or something). i was so scared, it was really horrifying to be yelled at by a friends mom. i don't think i ever wanted to go over there again. luckily, the family moved away a few years later, so i didn't really have to pretend to be friends with them for long.

 

[pattyT]

Your oor daughter -
I hope it wasn;t too long of a run hom e-
she must have been so traumatized...
I would have called the cops to have esports to get the bike back in the first place - especially if there is a history of wacked behaviors!
and now your going to punish that poor kid from what is probably the bright spot in her life - her friends
I would find a way for them to play on a regular basis... if not in your yard - is there a playground or something?

 

[inaminute]

I'm sure she spanks her DD when she needs it but I'm pretty positive that she doesn't abuse or beat her.

If this woman threatened to hit someone elses child, it's a pretty good bet that she hits her own daughter on a regular basis--whether she "needs it" or not.

I would certainly allow the little girl to come to my home. Perhaps you can gain her trust and help her out of what might be a bad situation.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

If this woman threatened to hit someone elses child, it's a pretty good bet that she hits her own daughter on a regular basis--whether she "needs it" or not.

I would certainly allow the little girl to come to my home. Perhaps you can gain her trust and help her out of what might be a bad situation.

I agree. the OP said the mom accused the girl of lying when she admitted to making faces to make the OP's DD laugh. She then hit the girl. I don't think getting hit after being called a liar, when you didn't lie, is a "needs it" spanking.

 

[disneymom3]

My first reaction was to let the little girl come over still too, but then when the OP said she is concerned the wacko mother will call CPS on them or make up some other random lies, I can see her point. She can't put her own family at risk to help this other child.

Your poor little girl. I have recently had curtail a friendship of DDs with a little girl up the street because her mom and dad got divorced and the dad (who she lives with still) creeps me out. It's hard because the little girl seems nice enough, but I can't let me child go over there because of the parent, and yet this little girl never comes to our house. I feel for you.

 

[Keli]

That's just nuts. I'd have been so mad at that woman. I think you're doing the right thing in cutting off contact, especially since that woman has a history of causing trouble for others.
One other thought comes to mind but I don't know how legit it is since this woman seems to be a brick shy of a full load but it seems crazy for her to have gotten that angry because your dd laughed while she was being told to go home. I'm wondering if there wasn't a bit more than that going on to upset that woman? I'd only question my dd a little further to make sure she isn't being disrespectful to adults when I'm not around but it wouldn't make any difference in my decision to cut ties because even if your dd did do something disrespectful (I don't consider the laughing disrespectful and I can't figure out why the woman got mad in the first place) that woman's reaction was beyond acceptance and I'd never let her have another chance to hurt my dd.

 

[SuBeat]

If this woman threatened to hit someone elses child, it's a pretty good bet that she hits her own daughter on a regular basis--whether she "needs it" or not.

I would certainly allow the little girl to come to my home. Perhaps you can gain her trust and help her out of what might be a bad situation.

There was a time I would have agreed with this, but personal experience has taught me that sometimes it is for the best to cut all ties to these families. We have a problem neighbor that has scary anger issues and will yell at the top of her lungs, cursing at any child that has done something (real or imagined, most often the latter) to offend her. After years of letting her DD play with ours on "neutral" territory or at our home, we've decided to ban any association altogether. Not that the girl was a great friend to DD in the first place, but they were often in the same place at the same time with the same friends. I'm not willing to chance this woman going off on my DD anymore.

 

[noseybuddy]

Although I feel sorry for this child, being stuck with a mother like that, I would not let her over my house to play with my child. I just think it would be asking for trouble. Not worth it.

 

[dcentity2000]

That's sick!



Rich::

 

[Bashful2]

We used to be a "safe haven" for DD's teenage friends with screwed up parents. They would come over all the time, but we always made them call home to let their parents know where they were and see if they could stay. I also provided transportation back home for them when needed. With 2 of these parents, I ended up being screamed at over the phone and threatened with the police if I ever got near their kids again. One of the mothers was obviously drunk at the time. The other set of parents had been visited by CPS for locking their daughter in her room for 3 days and making her use a bucket for a toilet. They were told they couldn't do that, but no further action was taken. After that, I was much more careful.

I feel bad for these kids, but as long as there is no actual abuse in the eyes of DSS there is nothing you can do. Some people just shouldn't have kids.