Have you asked the school what would happen if she was not accepted at the three year mark? . . . While it would be nice to stay at home, I am of the belief that students are better off when they live on campus . . . If she already knows some people who attend the private college she is considering, I would highly suggest asking if she could spend the weekend with them.
Asking the school, "What happens if she doesn't get into PT?" is an excellent suggestion. I have no idea the answer to that one. I'd also ask them what percentage of their students are admitted to the program. I mean, if 90% of the kids are accepted, that's one thing . . . if it's more like only 50%, that's something else altogether.
I totally agree that it's BETTER to go away to school, but that's a general "it's better". There are circumstances when it's not the right choice, and this MAY BE one of those. If she's simply not ready, if the maturity and the confidence just aren't there, then she might not do well academically if forced to go. This is one that only the family knows.
Having her go visit friends at the private school is an excellent suggestion. I do not usually advocate kids missing school, but in this situation I'd let my child skip a couple days of class so that she could sit in on some real classes and get a feel for what the school is like. In all fairness, I'd have her do the same thing for the state school so she's ready to make a real decision.
Funny you said nursing or business . . . If she doesn't decide to go to the private school she would probably not be able to go there next year . . . The private school has a social networking site set up just for accepted freshman at their school. It's similar to Facebook
Ha! Lucky guesses on my part. I do think it's important to have some idea of a back-up plan in mind; so often our high school seniors discover that their carefully made plans aren't really what they thought they were. Now that I see from your post that changing schools probably wouldn't be realistic, that means it's even more important to make the right choice now.
To tell you something about myself and changing majors: When I was a high school senior, I wanted to go to school to become a teacher. When it came time to register, my mother told me a bunch of things about teaching -- all 100% true -- that were negative. So I chose a different major . . . and a different major . . . and a different major . . . and a different major. In retrospect, I am very glad that I chose to attend a huge state school; that large school offered many courses of study, and I was able to change without changing schools. Oh, and what'd I end up doing? I graduated, worked a couple years, hated my job, got married, went back to school and earned . . . yes, a teaching degree. I should've realized when my mom was telling me those negative things that a perfect job didn't exist, and I should've stuck to my convictions and just worked towards a teaching degree in the first place. Know why I didn't? At 18 I wasn't an adult yet, and I didn't have the maturity to weigh those choices adequately.
Lots of schools have that Facebook-type thing for their incoming freshmen. My seniors get very excited about those, and I'm sure it makes the transition easier.
Thank you for the response about her really not being an adult. You were more tactful than I could have been & that's why I really didn't respond too much to that post. Yes, that is where she is now. My kids are all becoming responsible adults, but I'm not going to push them out in to the world blindly.
I teach high school seniors, and I know they're not adults. Oh, some of them are 18, but that doesn't mean much. They're not really adults until they have some time out in the real world being responsible for themselves, and I think your daughter may be telling you that she's just not ready to take that step yet. I agree with you that it'd be wrong to shove her out the door while she's sending up red flags and is practically shouting, "Not yet, not yet, I need more time!" Another year could make all the difference in the world.
One more suggestion: She's driving herself crazy. From what I'm hearing, these are BOTH good suggestions, and you'd be pleased with either choice.
I think that if I were in your shoes, I would give her a deadline -- one not too far in the future -- by which she needs to make up her mind. Between now and then, she can visit, she can debate, she can investigate . . . but by whatever date you say is acceptable, she must choose. And then once she's done that, NO MORE discussion. NO second guessing. NO going back to wonder if you've chosen the right path. Once she's chosen, NO lingering over what might have been.
Instead, once the choice is made, celebrate it. Buy her a school sweatshirt, make a cake in school colors (even if that's purple!), and start to talk up the school she's decided upon. Start making definite plans for her commute or her dorm room, whichever might be appropriate. If she chooses the local school, have her investigate the best routes and parking. If she chooses the private school, start shopping for dorm gear. Once she's decided, work hard on making that decision "real" for her.
I go to school about 45 minutes from home. If she's living in the dorm, I wouldn't worry too much about the driving. Yes, situations CAN arise where you have to get home regardless of weather. Been there, done that, but for the most part, trips home can usually be planned around storms. I don't know where you are, but around here the saying is "if you don't like the weather, wait a minute". In other words, it's extremely unpredictable, especially in the winter. I've been here for 5 years, and, with a little flexibility (packing up fast and hitting the highway a few hours early, getting up early before class on Monday after a weekend at home to drive back, etc) have always been able to travel around the weather, without issue (with the exception of extreme unforseen circumstances where I had no choice to travel in bad weather, but I'd be traveling from somewhere in bad weather regardless in those circumstances).
But I totally agree with this too, be sure to celebrate once the decision is made! Everyone loves cake! 
Just don't let them borrow your DVDs! You'll have to go hunting to get them back again! 
It's a really inopportune to go as I am supposed to go to a funeral & I'm meeting my DH on Friday (in WDW 
). 
