Today my boys went to a local VFW to "weed and seed." I knew for DS7 it could go one of two ways. He could be off in his own world, wanting nothing to do with the activities (or just be unable to fgure out how to be a part of things) or he could dive in with full enthusiasm and plant as many flowers as he could.
Fate decided on option 1. I tried to encourage participation, but he wanted nothing to do with it. At first he was just being a typical 7 yr. old bratty boy fussing and being recalcitrant and then it just slipped from tantrum to melt-down. I don't know what triggered the slip this time, I have never been able to figure it out. Sometimes I'm fairly easily able to re-direct tantrums into something less gruesome and sometimes it goes the other way.
So, I pick up and lug my now screaming and pinching child to the car, aware of the eyes of the other den parents on me the whole way...okay, not all of them...but a few. I get my lad into the van...he's fighting and thrashing and...woops there went my glasses, I swear one of these days he'll break them. Suddenly, as quickly as it started it stopped. "I wan' wa-ta puhease." He said, so I grab the bottle of water I had in the van. He takes it and then crawls onto the back seat (bench style) in the minivan and lies down. I ask him if he just wants to rest a bit. He nods.
5 minutes later he's on the tire swing. Feeling brave I decide to risk it, I go over and ask him if he wants to go plant some flowers. He looks at me then shakes his head. I say to him "Tell you what, let's plant one flower and then you can come back and swing." I was expecting another "no" and was prepared not to push him this time. He said "Yes." HE planted one flower and then helped spread a little mulch. He washed his hands and went back to the swing.
After we finished all the flowers the VFW grilled up some hot dogs and such. Much to my surprise DS7 ate a hotdog, on a bun...with ketchup!!!! He's never done that before!!!
As we left one of the den-mom's in our den came up to me. She told me she thought I handled DS's outburst very well, and then she said it, the words that almost always puch me over the edge of hysteria "You make it look so easy!"
Fate decided on option 1. I tried to encourage participation, but he wanted nothing to do with it. At first he was just being a typical 7 yr. old bratty boy fussing and being recalcitrant and then it just slipped from tantrum to melt-down. I don't know what triggered the slip this time, I have never been able to figure it out. Sometimes I'm fairly easily able to re-direct tantrums into something less gruesome and sometimes it goes the other way.
So, I pick up and lug my now screaming and pinching child to the car, aware of the eyes of the other den parents on me the whole way...okay, not all of them...but a few. I get my lad into the van...he's fighting and thrashing and...woops there went my glasses, I swear one of these days he'll break them. Suddenly, as quickly as it started it stopped. "I wan' wa-ta puhease." He said, so I grab the bottle of water I had in the van. He takes it and then crawls onto the back seat (bench style) in the minivan and lies down. I ask him if he just wants to rest a bit. He nods.
5 minutes later he's on the tire swing. Feeling brave I decide to risk it, I go over and ask him if he wants to go plant some flowers. He looks at me then shakes his head. I say to him "Tell you what, let's plant one flower and then you can come back and swing." I was expecting another "no" and was prepared not to push him this time. He said "Yes." HE planted one flower and then helped spread a little mulch. He washed his hands and went back to the swing.
After we finished all the flowers the VFW grilled up some hot dogs and such. Much to my surprise DS7 ate a hotdog, on a bun...with ketchup!!!! He's never done that before!!!
As we left one of the den-mom's in our den came up to me. She told me she thought I handled DS's outburst very well, and then she said it, the words that almost always puch me over the edge of hysteria "You make it look so easy!"
