My daughter wore inappropriate clothes to school!

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My DD7 wanted to wear her Hawaiian sundress with spaghetti straps to school. I said sure but take your sweater in case you are cold.

The Assistant Principal stopped her in the hall and embarrassed her in front of her class. She told her that what she was wearing was inappropriate to wear to school and against school dress code. The AP told the teacher to cover her up for the rest of the day. My daughter wore her sweater and she said she was so hot that she felt like she was going to throw up.

I feel like a bad mother. I completely forgot about the dress code.

My daughter says she doesn't want to wear "That Noodle Dress" again!

Lori

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Originally posted by pirateofthecarolinas
The Assistant Principal stopped her in the hall and embarrassed her in front of her class. Lori

That is so wrong. There are certainly better ways to handle a situation like that. That would make me so mad.

 

[Mskanga]

You are lucky you didn't get a phone call as soon as she got to school, I know I would have if it was one of my kids.

 

[tw1nsmom]

Why is a sundress innappropriate?

 

[zurgswife]

In our school..kids aren't allowed speghetti straps or to show an open back, middriff or just started recently...there lower backs...

But we go to a church school so I suspect it it a lot stricter then public schools...

 

[Cindy B]

We arent allowed spaghetti straps, tank tops needs to be 2 inches or more on strap (two finger width rule), no midriffs, no open back, no really short skirts.

BTW , this is a public school

 

[antbritt]

THe principle never should have singled your daughter out he/she should have asked her to come to the office and then explain/remind your DD about the dress code. What shame that they did not handle it appropiately. Maybe you should call them and tell them while your sorry about forgetting the dress code... it should ahve been handled better and maybe next time the princepal will remember to be discreet.

MY DD 's schoool has a strict dress code which includes that all stras must be 2 fingers width. I dont agreee with their whole dress code as they also do not allow the girls to wear headbands. But I also do agree with some of the things. But my DD s 11 and in Middle schooll where most of the kids have developed. So I wonder whats the big deal with a 7 year old wearing a sundresss!!\

 

[HollyJoy]

I think that should have been handled differently. No reason for the Asst. Principal to behave in such a manner. Have you talked to him/her?

 

[Twigs]

DS's school (grades 6-8, and a public school) has very strict dress codes now. But even in these older grades the students are not embarassed in front of other students. They are called down to the dean where they call the parents to bring up appropriate clothing. Your DD is much younger, I think it would have been much more appropriate for the teacher or Asst. Principal to have called you for a change of clothes. If not that then your daughter should have been spoken to privately on the side to remind her of the dress code, and given a warning or something to that degree. Public humiliation by an administrator in school should not be acceptable.

 

[Disney Doll]

You're all kidding right? You'd actually make tis much of a big deal over your kid getting reprimanded in school for something so minor???

 

[Nancy]

In the elementary school they can wear thin straps. Middle school tanks must be large enough to cover bra straps...no belly or back showing. High school is more leniant. I guess they feel that 6, 7 and 8th grade boys can't control themselves but in high school the hormones turn off.

 

[Divamomto3]

Last week, my son was rushing for the bus, went downstairs, threw on shoes and headed off to school. He must have been there 2 mintues when my phone started ringing. He put on his old fishing sneakers!!! instead of his regular new sneakers and the sole of the old ones was separating from the shoe. They said it was a safety hazard and I had to come and bring him new shoes ASAP. UGH, I could have killed him!

 

[Maleficent2]

I was not going to post but after reading your comment I must!

Her DD is SEVEN years old and yes being reprimanded by the principle or assistant principle at that age is a "BIG"deal.

And I do believe that if it had happen to my DS I would have to have a talk with the principle about it.



Mal

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

I have to wonder what the AP did to embarrass the child. Did she point out in front of the other kids that she's not allowed to wear spaghetti straps to school and to make sure she wore her sweater for the rest of the day or did she scream out across a crowded room that she's not supposed to wear spaghetti straps to school.

If the AP took time out of her busy day to have a child come to the office for every little thing, I can't imagine her REAL job would get much attention.

Why would you feel the need to talk to the principal? Because you and your daughter screwed up and somebody's gonna pay! That's the way to teach your daughter to be responsible for herself! Sometimes you have to let kids handle things on their own. You can't fix everything.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

BTW if it was my daughter, I would just tell her "Oops, we screwed up" and we would both remember. If we start trying to fix everything for our kids, they'll never learn anything except that Mommy will be there to fix it, why bother following the rules. She'll get over it, I guarantee you Mom is making a much bigger deal out of it than the 7 year old did.

 

[luvindisneyworld]

Some peoples posts on here to the Op are truly RIDICULOUS.

I say do what you feel is right and dont listen to what everyone else has to say.

 

[Bojangles]

No one at school is going to take you seriously if you get upset and go down there every time anyone speaks to your child. If you don't learn how to pick your battles, you will never be taken seriously if you have a "real" issue.

 

[zurgswife]

Originally posted by Bojangles
No one at school is going to take you seriously if you get upset and go down there every time anyone speaks to your child. If you don't learn how to pick your battles, you will never be taken seriously if you have a "real" issue.

The OP never said anything about going down to the school or being upset over the issue....
Just that the AP told her DD's teacher that she needed to cover up the rest of the day and her dd was hot....

I think some people are reading into this post emotions that aren't there....

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by zurgswife


I think some people are reading into this post emotions that aren't there....

I think it's more the responses than the OP.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My daughter attends a public school. I am not going to talk to anyone in Administration. I am a former teacher and I know that this is not a big deal. I am not addressing this for the following reasons:

1. I made a mistake.
2. The AP is abrasive at times but she is retiring in 2 weeks after 40 years of service. Another teacher (friend) told me that this AP is like the "Fashion Police" for inappropriate dress.
3. My daughter has learned a lesson and will never wear spaghetti straps again.
4. My daughter is a sensitive child. She was embarrassed by being singled out for breaking a rule. I wasn't there so I don't know how it was handled.

What did bother me is that now my daughter thinks it is shameful to wear anything that doesn't cover her arms. She said she couldn't wear a shirt with cap sleeves because her arms are ugly and people will look at her. We had a long talk and I had to explain to her that the dress code was written for the older students. For it to be fair, all of the students have to follow the same rules.

A letter came home yesterday from the AP reminding parents about the dress code. I feel that you have to take the good with the bad. Yes, they crack down on the dress code and they also have a school with very few discipline problems also. These are administrators that make this school a safe place.

Lori