My daughter wore inappropriate clothes to school!

[CheshireVal]

I remember being sent to the office when I was in 7th grade for wearing shorts that were apparently too short (I was already 5'9" in the 7th grade so it wasn't easy to find knee-length shorts!) Even though I was told in private and very kindly that I needed to call home for a change of clothes, I was crying hysterically. I felt very ashamed, like I was a "slut" or something. I can totally see how it would be embarrassing for the child no matter how it's addressed.

I'm a teacher now and we have all kinds of dress code violations, especially in the spring. Spaghetti straps are def. not appropriate for school, but I didn't see that the OP was upset about what happened. The responses were a little surprising though! I think too many parents are willing to march straight up to the principal's office for silly little things. I see it all the time.

 

[PenskeSth1]

I also think they could of handled this a bit better.

In our PUBLIC schools here in Polk County Fl. Kids have to adhere to a dress code. Certain color polo shirt or school T-shirt. Denim shorts, Kakhi, or black no stripes or decorations, all shorts with belt loops must have a belt and shirt is to be tucked in.

Middle school is the same way. High school is totally different with some rules though.

On Fridays kids are allowed to wear patriotic shirts as long as it is not sleeveless. Well not thinking, one day I let DS 5 at the time (he just turned 6) wear a mickey patriotic shirt, It was sleeveless. I had just returned home from dropping him off at the school when I got the phone call, HE WAS NOT ADHERING TO DRESS CODE, I had to take him another shirt. He was sitting in the office when I reached the school. He could NOT be in class until he was dressed appropriately.

My point is if OPs daughter was breaking some kind of dress code why didn't the school call home and let you bring her something appropriate to wear? I think it would of been better than her maybe getting sick from being to hot. JMO

 

[kilee]

Dress codes are put in place for a reason. Certain items are appropriate for certain functions. The school has a responsibility to uphold them, but to also do so in an appropriate manner.

Our school has recently added all pants/shorts with the writing on the backside as banned from school. They won't allow children to even attend class at our school, even the young ones!!

Thankfully I have a boy and not many of the rules apply as he doesn't wear skirts, spaghetti strap tanks, or pants w/ the writing on the back . I think some of the rules are alittle over the top, but I'm sure there's good reason for them.

 

[candylover]

pirateofthecarolinas
You do what you feel is right. You are the only one that can say how it made your daughter feel.
I am very taken back by some of the posts here......
I think Lori was just feeling bad about what happened to
her 7 year old
I think maybe there could have been a better way to tell your daughter. Maybe bring her in alone and remind her of the dress code next time... she is7 years old
My goodness she is a little girl.... it was a dress not a thong!
Did I remind everyone she is 7 years old


Here is a hug for you Lori!

And for those nasty comments

 

[Madi100]

My daughter is six. She tends to over react to everything. It would haven worse for her to be called to the principal's office and told privately that she was doing something wrong. For one, to her it meant she was in trouble. Secondly, she's very shy and it would be hard for her to handle. I think the OP was just coming here to say, "Oh my gosh. We messed up." Not, "I'm going to sue the school." In fact, I'm glad she posted this because I have no idea what her dress code is. I just looked, and as far as I can tell, she doesnt' have one. I'll have to look at the website and see.

And, for the person who said that maybe they should have a seperate dress code for the ones that are developing? Can you imagine how I would have felt in 3rd grade when the rest of my class could wear spaghetti straps, and I couldn't because I was developing. There are some early developers out there. Best to have one dress code for everyone.

 

[candylover]

I couldn't because I was developing sorry but this is cute

 

[Kallison]

Originally posted by Disney Doll
You're all kidding right? You'd actually make tis much of a big deal over your kid getting reprimanded in school for something so minor???

I agree -- that is the problem with schools, parents never back up the teachers. Maybe it could have been handled better, but it wasn't. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, just say sorry honey you broke the rules. My son got a detention last week for holding a rubber band in the cafeteria and the aide took the word of another kid that he shot it. So I don't think it was fair, even his teacher said she didn't think it was fair and crossed out the part that said he shot it, but he served his time. I told him next time don't have a rubber band if you are not supposed to and there will be no problem. Today a parent wrote a teacher a note blasting her because their daughter got a D on a quiz, and why weren't they notified, etc. Well the Daughter is in 7th grade and has a grade sheet that she is supposed to fill out for every grade so she knows exactly at any given time what her grade is. Why didn't the parent check the grade sheet on a daily or weekly basis. So sorry your daughter got upset but I also don't think it is something you should make an issue out of.

 

[candylover]

Hey...thats it..I'm not overweight I,mstill developing

 

[Madi100]

Originally posted by candylover
Hey...thats it..I'm not overweight I,mstill developing

Hey, that's my line. You can't steal that, can you??? Now the whole dress thing is out for me. Not because you might see my bra straps. It's because I'm now 29, and I am still developing. Now the danger is not seeing my bra strap, but that something might fall out the bottom

 

[Stepharoonie!]

Why do people have to humiliate someone to get their point across?

 

[Beauty]

The only real problem I see in the entire situation is that they made her wear the sweater all day. She should have been allowed to call home or someone for a change of clothing. If she was as hot as she said she was it just wasn't right for them to make her wear the sweater all day.

I'm a VERY VERY hot natured person and have gotten so hot at times that I felt nauseated and faint. That is the part that seems unfair to me.

 

[Disney Doll]

Maleficent, things are as big of a deal to a 7 year old as the parent makes them.

Best option, say oops, and drop it. Don't dwell, don't allow the child to decide it's "bad" to wear spaghetti straps. If, the next time she goes to wear that dress she decides not to, Mom says "Honey, that dress looks pretty on you. You just can't wear it to school, but you can certainly wear it many other places."

Parents ARE allowed to tell a 7 year old what to do!

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by Disney Doll


Parents ARE allowed to tell a 7 year old what to do!

God forbid!!! I think the real problem here (not with the OP) is that so many people actually believe the AP had no right to tell the 7 YEAR OLD that she can't wear spaghetti straps to school. Too bad, so sad. I can't imagine getting called to the Principals office would been any less embarrassing, it more than likely would have been MORE embarrassing. I believe the AP did the right thing by pointing it out but not making a big deal about it. Even the OP sees that. Quit fixing, or trying to fix everything people, some day you're going to want your child to follow the rules without having to follow him/her around to tell them how to handle a situation.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Beauty was right. I was most concerned about my daughter feeling sick. I am a SAHM and would have been there is 10 minutes with a change of clothes.

She attends a Spanish Immersion School. All of her teachers are from South America (Columbia and Venezuela). They have a window air conditioner in the room but as you can guess, they don't use it as much as we would normally. Most days this week have been 88 degrees with humidity. My daughter is timid and would never ask the teacher to crank up the AC. I just wish she would have wrapped the sweater around her neck and shoulders.

I'm not worrying anymore about this. My mother and I are kidnapping my daughter from school on Friday and by 2:00 we will be on an airplane headed for WDW! It will be a total surprise for my daughter. It is a girls only weekend.

I have to go pack.

Lori

 

[outstandinfarmer]

I don't think some of you understand how a principal pointing out a student can make them feel. There are children that are very sensitive and that this could affect them for a long time. I'm not saying to rush in and yell and them for their rules, but he could have done it with more taste. I was a very sensitive child and something like this would have affected me for a very long time.

Maybe some of you have tough kids, but there are very sensitve ones too.

I think we should all be a little more considerate of other people's children.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I don't understand why cute sundresses with thin straps are innapropriate. I have been sent home from work for wearing stuff flike that twice. (not without pay, but sent to change - we have avery casual dress code)

There are plenty of respectable looking thin strapped dresses. I own several. The one I was wearing when I was sent home was ankle legnth, NOT low cut , and had a built in slip (ie. was not see through in the slightest). It was very pretty and purchased in the business wear section of a dept. store.

I really think dress codes need to go more by best judgement than by actual rules. Some thin strapped shirts/dresses are tacky and trashy. MOST are not.

Grrrr.

I am so sorry your little girl had to go through this. I'm sure her dress was perfectly appropriate and it's a shame the principal obviously can't tell the difference between a girl dressing like Lil' Kim or Britney Spears, and a girl wearing a cute but thin strapped dress.

And regardless, he should not have handled the situation the way he did. I would really complain to the school board.

 

[CheshireVal]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX



I really think dress codes need to go more by best judgement than by actual rules. Some thin strapped shirts/dresses are tacky and trashy. MOST are not.

That would be a nightmare for schools to try to enforce though! You can't say "Tasteful spaghetti straps are allowed while trashy ones are not." Who's to say what's tasteful and what's trashy? That would create more problems than it would solve, I think.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

Originally posted by pirateofthecarolinas
I'm not worrying anymore about this. My mother and I are kidnapping my daughter from school on Friday and by 2:00 we will be on an airplane headed for WDW! It will be a total surprise for my daughter. It is a girls only weekend.

I have to go pack.

Lori

WOOHOOO!! That's the best thing said on this thread!!!!

Have a Blast!!!

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
I don't understand why cute sundresses with thin straps are innapropriate. I have been sent home from work for wearing stuff flike that twice. (not without pay, but sent to change - we have avery casual dress code)

There are plenty of respectable looking thin strapped dresses. I own several. The one I was wearing when I was sent home was ankle legnth, NOT low cut , and had a built in slip (ie. was not see through in the slightest). It was very pretty and purchased in the business wear section of a dept. store.

I really think dress codes need to go more by best judgement than by actual rules. Some thin strapped shirts/dresses are tacky and trashy. MOST are not.

Grrrr.

I am so sorry your little girl had to go through this. I'm sure her dress was perfectly appropriate and it's a shame the principal obviously can't tell the difference between a girl dressing like Lil' Kim or Britney Spears, and a girl wearing a cute but thin strapped dress.

And regardless, he should not have handled the situation the way he did. I would really complain to the school board.

And who exactly gets to decide what is trashy and what is tasteful? It seems there was at least one person who disagreed with your opinion of tasteful, not that it wasn't.

And what exactly would you run to the school board and say? "My daughter didn't follow the school rules and wore spaghetti straps and the AP told her it wasn't appropriate? I want him reprimanded for trying to uphold a standard in our school" Holy cow!! You can't make eveything perfect for your kids, t was a mistake that the Mom and the child made, NO BIG DEAL!!!!! I'm so happy to see the OP isn't your typical "Not my kid' type of parent, kids are never wrong anymore, the only people who are wrong anymore are the people who tell them they are wrong. How sad!!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I don't think some of you understand how a principal pointing out a student can make them feel. There are children that are very sensitive and that this could affect them for a long time.

ummm ok. Then I would have to suggest that this might become a good lesson in learning that nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, and the best thing to do when corrected for them is not to become overly upset, feel bad, or dwell on it for a long time.
Rather just say "oops silly me. I made a mistake. Let me correct it." And hey guess what, the world doesn't end!

Personally I wouldn't want my kid pulled out of class and missing lectures to go sit in the office. But maybe that is just me.

Honestly it seems like the OP has a handle on this just fine.