My child and restaurants-ugh

[inloveindisney]

So, we have a trip coming up in October. My daughter is 14 months now and up until 2-3 weeks ago, she has been wonderful in just about any restaurant. now, all of a sudden, she cries-the entire time! I'm really getting worried about our meals at Disney. I am thinking that for the most part, people are somewhat understanding in Disney World that kids will be around (well, for the most part-yes, I've read some threads of the other opinion), but I'm looking for some thoughts on if this problem is fixable or if I just have to wait it out.
Sometimes as soon as we get to the restaurant, she starts fussing, doing the "dead weight" thing and screaming at the top of her lungs. Today, after a horrid lunch at Red Lobster I started wondering if different restaurants make her this way. For example, Red lobster was awful. She ALWAYS cries when we go to this restaurant called firebirds (we don't go there anymore-even though my sister works there) but she doesn't cry at Cracker Barrel, this chinese buffet we go to or Golden Corral and pretty much never at fast food restaurants.
I wondered if it could be the lighting? Places like Red Lobster and Firebirds both have low lighting. It's just odd that she seems ok at some places-every time we go and then other places she screams almost as soon as we hit the front door.
Or, maybe it just has something to do with two teeth coming in and it will pass as soon as that is over. Or, maybe it's just that she's a toddler and I need to get over it. Either way, whew-it's making me tired!
We have a booking at Chef Mickey's, Liberty Tree and Coral Reef on our October trip.

 

[disneybridetobe]

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you... but hey, my DD1 cries in Yankee Candle! LMAO!

It's embarrassing as heck at the time, though.

 

[toesmom]

So, we have a trip coming up in October. My daughter is 14 months now and up until 2-3 weeks ago, she has been wonderful in just about any restaurant. now, all of a sudden, she cries-the entire time! I'm really getting worried about our meals at Disney. I am thinking that for the most part, people are somewhat understanding in Disney World that kids will be around (well, for the most part-yes, I've read some threads of the other opinion), but I'm looking for some thoughts on if this problem is fixable or if I just have to wait it out.
Sometimes as soon as we get to the restaurant, she starts fussing, doing the "dead weight" thing and screaming at the top of her lungs. Today, after a horrid lunch at Red Lobster I started wondering if different restaurants make her this way. For example, Red lobster was awful. She ALWAYS cries when we go to this restaurant called firebirds (we don't go there anymore-even though my sister works there) but she doesn't cry at Cracker Barrel, this chinese buffet we go to or Golden Corral and pretty much never at fast food restaurants.
I wondered if it could be the lighting? Places like Red Lobster and Firebirds both have low lighting. It's just odd that she seems ok at some places-every time we go and then other places she screams almost as soon as we hit the front door.
Or, maybe it just has something to do with two teeth coming in and it will pass as soon as that is over. Or, maybe it's just that she's a toddler and I need to get over it. Either way, whew-it's making me tired!
We have a booking at Chef Mickey's, Liberty Tree and Coral Reef on our October trip.

I may be the dissenting opinion here, but if I pay really good money for a meal, I really don't want a screaming toddler next to me. That said, I have 2 kids and have made a point of not taking them to restaurants until they were of appropriate age. For me, that is by 4 years old. By that age, they sit easily and don't need to be distracted like a 2 year old.

Every child is different of course, but when we do make a point of going to eat, I think it's not really fair to have a screaming toddler at a close by table.

Perhaps you can find things to keep her busy with. Or you may just have to accept that she's not real happy sitting there for 1-1/2 hours (typical table service meal from start to finish).

Most families take toddlers so you wouldn't be in the minority, but maybe the best thing to do is take the cue from your own child. When baby is happy, mom is happy. And when mom is happy, everyone is happy

oh sorry just re-read the original post, you only have 3 reservations, so I'd say go and have fun.

 

[aurorafan]

When my guys were between the ages of 15 months to about 2 y.o. they went through something similar. They'd be fine for about 1/2 an hour, but any more than that and they wanted out of there! Most of my friends' kids have done the same thing at the same ages, so I've always thought it was an "I'm starting to walk and explore and I want down to explore!" thing .

We generally went to kid friendly places, places where we knew what we'd like, ordered everything at once, asked for the kids' meals to come out when they were ready and asked for the check when our meals came . We also brought lots of books and quiet toys to help amuse them. Being prepared and not expecting a leisurely meal went a long way to keeping us from being upset with them . If they threw a fit (which only happened once) one parent took them out while the other one paid and got the food to go. There were a couple of restaurants where they just wouldn't settle down, so we avoided those places all together until they got older .

Not sure if that helps or not, but thought you might like to know that lots of us out there have btdt!

 

[soontobewed07]

Deleted

 

[jewelshouse]

Is this your first child? It's completely normal at this age. I have 3 kids and we didn't go out to dinner as a family for years. Starting around 15 months until around 4 years old. You can try to keep them happy by giving them things to play with and distract them, one trick we used was putting an ice cube on their tray. they played with it until it melted, seems simple but my kids loved it but . . . sometimes there is nothing you can do. I doubt it's the lighting, sometimes we all try to come up with reasons to explain our children acting up.

Probably not what you wanted to hear, but I've been there and I can sympathize. We used to go out to dinner alot, until we had the kiddos.

 

[DevilDuckie]

So what I am trying to say is At Disney EVERYONE has at least one Melt down including ADULTS!!!!!

Man, I'm glad I don't vacation with you guys! Disney is our happy place.

 

[DevilDuckie]

OP, you're a two parent family right? While it isn't perfect, the best solution is that if the kid starts to scream one of you takes her outside. The other people around you have a right to a nice meal and often what the child wants is a change in environment. Until you can teach her "restaurant manners" you just have to be prepared to spend a lot of time out front wondering when sh'll grow up.

 

[aubriee]

OP, you're a two parent family right? While it isn't perfect, the best solution is that if the kid starts to scream one of you takes her outside. The other people around you have a right to a nice meal and often what the child wants is a change in environment. Until you can teach her "restaurant manners" you just have to be prepared to spend a lot of time out front wondering when sh'll grow up.

I agree! I was trying to eat at Yak & Yeti this past May, but had a young family with a screaming toddler across from me. That kid screamed the entire meal and his parents just ignored him. If they had been attempting to quiet him or if one had just gotten up and left with him, people might not have been so frustrated with them, but all they did was continue their conversation and ignored his screams, while everyone else glared at them. I heard the lady behind me complain to a waitress about them, but the waitress said there was nothing she could do. When they got their check and got up to leave, everyone in the vicinity literally clapped. The look on the parents faces was priceless. It was as if they hadn't even realized anything was wrong and their little angel hadn't just ruined everyone's meal. They were totally clueless. Now, most families with crying kids will at least try to pacify the child and if they can't, then they leave until the child can calm down. In those circumstances I think everyone around them are sympathetic. I have no problem with a child crying in a restaurant, if the parents are at least trying to calm him, but after awhile take the kid out until he can calm down.

 

[saratogadreamin09]

its disney, most kids are crying so at least you wont be the only criers



just my opinion, you shouldn't be taking any kid under 3 or 4 to disney, its just too young for them to remember or really enjoy anything


i wish you the best of luck

 

[ChristusG]

I think that it is probably just a phase. You said your trip is not until October, so hopefully she will be out of it by then.

We just do like everyone else said.....we just try to calm and entertain our child and if that does not work, one of us walks her outside. We have a 16 month old and a 4 year old.....having children has never stopped us from going out to eat. We go at least once a week and just deal with whatever comes our way.

I always bring a toy or two, and some sort of non-filling little snack for the baby to eat while we wait for the food. The snack really helps with the waiting.

 

[saratogadreamin09]

I may be the dissenting opinion here, but if I pay really good money for a meal, I really don't want a screaming toddler next to me. That said, I have 2 kids and have made a point of not taking them to restaurants until they were of appropriate age. For me, that is by 4 years old. By that age, they sit easily and don't need to be distracted like a 2 year old.

Every child is different of course, but when we do make a point of going to eat, I think it's not really fair to have a screaming toddler at a close by table.

Perhaps you can find things to keep her busy with. Or you may just have to accept that she's not real happy sitting there for 1-1/2 hours (typical table service meal from start to finish).

Most families take toddlers so you wouldn't be in the minority, but maybe the best thing to do is take the cue from your own child. When baby is happy, mom is happy. And when mom is happy, everyone is happy

oh sorry just re-read the original post, you only have 3 reservations, so I'd say go and have fun.

as someone who likes quiete romantic dinners i see where your coming from BUT, when you go to disney you expect kids to be around so i just live with it

 

[Bea]

We are going through this right now. We have a 3yo DS and he started about 14 months. He turns 3 today and just last week went to a restaurant for the first time in over a year . We are off to WDW in August and staying off site. We choose this because we can eat a few meals in, which are less stressful for us adults. We also have the option of doing take out and the restaurants we intend on eating at, are family oriented (Perkins,Cici's). I just know we have to adjust things during this trip. There will be plenty of trips when he is older where we can eat where we want, and stay where we want.

What some people don't understand is his fussing and crying stress me out probably as much as it bothers them. I am constantly worried about how he is affecting everyone else around us. In a restaurant, we usually take shifts. I eat quickly while my husband walks him around outside the restaurant, and then we change places.

It won't last forever! This is such a short time in there lives.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

It is probably a phase.. Some suggestions that worked for me is bringing various toys to keep her attention. Disney has these great character figurines ..we just always packed a bag of stuff like that..and entertained her.

Also Disney is a lot different because of themeing, entertainment. A lot more exciting then a red lobster etc.. Plus the waitress/waiters usually are pretty well skilled at entertaining kids as well.

Trust me..If you child isn't crying you will hear someone elses. As for a poster that commented...."Paying good money for a meal" .. Ummm Sorry you aren't paying that much that you don't have to deal with the public...

Just to clarify. I wouldn't let the child cry the entire meal without doing things to stop it. If my child is fussy and we can't do anything about it...they DH and 1 take turns going for walks. I just know the "toddler" stage required a bit more entertainment

 

[dougsmom98]

I have four kids and I wouldn't dream of letting them cry through a meal in a restaurant, whether it is a kid friendly restaurant or not. We were not able to go out eat at a sit down restaurant for nearly 5-6 years because I knew it would be a disaster. The OP said that her child does well at fast food restaurants and buffets. She should plan to go to fast food restaurants and buffets then. Sorry, I am sure this is not what she wanted to hear either.

 

[DISNEYFOS]

Not for nothing, but the OP is planning on Chef Mickeys, Liberty Tree and Coral Reef...Clearly not an late night romantic dinner reservation at California Grill, or Yachtsmen Steakhouse etc..

If anyone is hoping to go to Chef Mickeys and have a quiet, peaceful meal..good luck with that!

 

[waltskids]

its disney, most kids are crying so at least you wont be the only criers



just my opinion, you shouldn't be taking any kid under 3 or 4 to disney, its just too young for them to remember or really enjoy anything


i wish you the best of luck

DS who is 20 months has been to WDW 4 times (5th trip will be in August) and each time we have wonderful photos and memories to share. One of his first words was 'kee-kee' which is now 'Mickey'. He may not remember it but trust me, he enjoys it

To the OP: If you are a two parent family, one can always take the child outside for a little walk while the food is being prepared. The restaurants you chose are child friendly, especially Chef Mickey's (which can be very loud too). Have a wonderful trip!

 

[thegrimdwarf]

OP - I'm sorry this threat has gotten heated, and you're getting a lot of input about how a screaming kid ruins effects the poster's meal enjoyment, lol. As if you were wondering if it would bother others to have an unruly child seated next to them at a restaurant .

I have 2 boys, ages 4.5 yrs. and 2.25 years. They've been going to restaurants since they were 6 weeks old. The older one has always had impeccable restaurant manners. My younger one just finished up a difficult stage where he just didn't want to sit for more than 20 minutes. We worked right through it, doing what others have suggested - trying to keep him entertained, and if he got too loud, either my husband or I took him out of the restaurant and sat him down outside for a time out.

If I were you, I'd continue to take her to restaurants if it's something you enjoy doing - just be prepared to remove her if she's really unhappy and making other guests uncomfortable. If at all possible, I'd bring her back into the restaurant before you leave, though, so she understands that she doesn't get 'off the hook' by fussing.

 

[mamaLori05]

OP - I'm sorry this threat has gotten heated, and you're getting a lot of input about how a screaming kid ruins effects the poster's meal enjoyment, lol. As if you were wondering if it would bother others to have an unruly child seated next to them at a restaurant .

I have 2 boys, ages 4.5 yrs. and 2.25 years. They've been going to restaurants since they were 6 weeks old. The older one has always had impeccable restaurant manners. My younger one just finished up a difficult stage where he just didn't want to sit for more than 20 minutes. We worked right through it, doing what others have suggested - trying to keep him entertained, and if he got too loud, either my husband or I took him out of the restaurant and sat him down outside for a time out.

If I were you, I'd continue to take her to restaurants if it's something you enjoy doing - just be prepared to remove her if she's really unhappy and making other guests uncomfortable. If at all possible, I'd bring her back into the restaurant before you leave, though, so she understands that she doesn't get 'off the hook' by fussing.

I agree. That is what we do too. We never had much of a problem with dd, she was usually fine unless we were there for over an hour...but by then I'd be bored too, so I totally understood why she was getting antsy.
My ds is going through that same stage right now at 11 months. He's fine for about a half hour, but then he just gets bored. One of us usually takes him out of the restaurant for a few minutes so that he can walk/crawl around a little, and then we go back in. Sometimes a change of scenery and a little stretch is all it takes.
I definatly wouldn't stop going out to eat over it. Think of it as a discipline/teaching/learning moment. If handled correct you can teach the kiddo's how to eat at a restaurant and learn what is and isn't acceptable. Avoiding restaurants kind of "avoids" that teaching moment.

 

[Wendybird55]

Welcome to the pre terrible twos! I wouldn't worry too much as October is a long way away (for a toddler) and there are more changes to happen..and phases do come and go for no apparent reason.

DS is now 21 months. We've been taking him to restaurants an a regualr basis and usually he's good, but there are times he gets antsy or a little too loud (not necessarily crying, but when he gets escited he laughs loud or makes a happy scream).

We always bring quiet toys and books to keep him occupied. I also bring a set of his plastic utensils and usually a container of appelsauce (he loves it and sometimes can't wait for his food to come and the appelsauce helps curb his appetite).

Of course we try to teach him to be quiet when he gets too laoud and are aware of the other guests. We also take him to "family" friendly restaurants.

Recently we went away for a long weekend and one night when we went to dinenr DS was very cranky and crying alot. So DH and I took turns (we were with my parents & sister) taking him to the front lobby of the restaurant to calm him down and not allow him to annoy other diners. Finally we got him calm and brought him back to the dining room and he was fine.

Another trick I used once was his portable DVD player. I put it on the table (sound off) and he was fine watching his favorite Mickey DVD and was nice an quiet.

There are lots of kids and families in WDW - and at any time at any place there are kids having melt downs - it's to be expected. You do your best to quiet and calm you kid and I expect most people understand - especially parents.

The restaurants you're going to should be fun for DD and the characters and activity may keep her very occupied and happy. If she gets upset and crys alot, you or DH can take he out of the dining room to calm her down a bit. But again, October is a long ways off and by that time she may be great in restaurants.

I agree that parents need to be respectful of othersdiners and such when out in public with their children and if they can't behave themselves remove them from the restaurant.
But I don't think it's fair to tell parents they shouldn't take their toddlers to restaurants or Disney or anywhere until they are older - there are many older kids who don't behave themselves either. How is your child supposed to learn how to act in public places and how are they going to get use to dining out and such unless you expose them to it?

Don't worry...Continue to take your daughter to the restaurants she currently likes and in a month or 2 try takign her to Red Lobster or the other restaurant again. You may be pleasantly surprised. Also none of us know how our child will react their first time at WDW - will they be scared of the characters? Will they be scred of the rides? How will they like the plane ride? Will it be too hot? Will they get over stimulated? Will the love it as much as me?

We won't know until we get there - so I say be prepared and have a great time!