My best friend died

[marlasmom]

Not the forum I realize, but I am comfortable posting it here. She had Alzheimers, got it at a very early age. Apparently when your body shuts down your involuntary functions also shut down and you "forget" to breathe or swallow.

She was a wonderful friend and neighbor. I could call 5:00 and say Roy is bringing home customers for dinner. What have you got and can you help me rake out this house and 5 minutes later she would be there with a vacuum under one arm and a package of steaks in the other.

She had a wonderful summer house on Lake Winneapeausaukee and used to pack up all the kids and take them up there for a week or two. I never had just my own kids for dinner - wither all mine and all hers and all mine would be at her house.

I cried 5 years ago when she no longer knew me and could not speak. I don't know why I am crying now except that I am so tired of my friends dying. Is it true that things happen in 3s?

 

[Mamu]

Oh Marlasmom I understand your tears and sorrow. Losing friends is like losing apart of yourself. {{{HUGS}}} You wish there were magical words you could say, but there aren't. Loses can be very traunatic especially when there are several in a year.

My thoughts are with you during this very sad time in your life.

 

[TigH]

Oh, Marlasmom! I am crying with you! What a sad thing to have happen. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Think of the blessing you both had to have each other in your lives and all the wonderful times you spent together. Your friend has found peace now. I wish there was something I could say to help you through this painful time. Just know that we're all sending you lots of hugs!!! Try to spend some time outside in the garden, even if you just sit there and breathe in the fresh air.

What helps me is this - if I've lost someone, I know they wouldn't want me to be very upset and cry a lot. I know they would want me to remember them fondly and try to focus on happier times. I know that's how I want my family and friends to feel when it's my turn to go. We have to grieve for our loved ones, but they want us to continue on living happy lives.

Maybe plant a rememberance of her in your new garden.

Hugs and blessings, TigH. xo

 

[olena]

***HUGS*** I'm so very sorry for your loss. She sounds like an angel.

 

[Snowwark]

Marlasmom, I'm so sorry, I hardly know what to say.

Heartache is a real thing, isn't it. You can actually feel the pain of it, like little pieces being broken off. I hope it's true that time heals that pain for you.

The love that you and your friend shared, and the happy memories you have of her can never be broken. Is that the balm for an aching heart? I'm not sure, but I think it is, I hope it is.

My father suffers from multi-infarct dementia, and although it's still fairly mild, I too dread the day when he no longer "knows" me.

Many, many, ((((( Hugs ))))) for you my friend.

We are here for you.

 

[gina2000]

Marlasmom, I wish I could make the pain go away. I lost a neighbor last year....a garden buddy who helped me plant my entire perennial garden. She gradually lost her memory and had to be permanently hospitalized.

I lost her when I realized she no longer knew me. But it hurt just as much when she left her home for good.

Many hugs to you, friend, on your loss. If you need to talk, please always come here. That's what we all do best......

 

[Tulirose]

I, too, Marlasmom, feel for you and your loss. I have no magic saying or words to help you with your pain. If only it was that easy for us to get over hurt and grief.... Take comfort, when you can, remembering all the good times you two had. Feel free to share with us any stories you wish. We will be hear to listen. Speak of your friend often at home and to others who never met her. This way she always lives on. (A wise gardenbud told me that a while back).

((((Hugs)))) to you.