My bad mother moment?

[MELSMICE]

I don't think you're a bad mom. Also, no one is a perfect parent.

That being said, I never left my kids in the car alone when they were young. As another poster said, I made sure I went to a "pay at the pump" gas station.

I also made sure I went to the drive through at the bank.

I just never felt comfortable leaving them in the car for any reason.

 

[CanBeGrumpy]

I don't think you are a bad parent, but I do think you used poor judgement. You would never forgive yourself if something happened to your kids, and there are numerous bad scenarios that can play out with kids left alone in a car, especially with it running. I know you could see the car, but could you really have maneuvered through the bank fast enough to prevent someone from stealing your car? Carjackers are FAST and being able to see the car may not be enough. I'm glad you have decided to never do this again. I think a drive-through is definitely the answer to your dilemma!!

 

[Luv'sTink]

I remember when DS was little and they started using credit cards at the pump, I was so excited because I wouldn't have to get him out of the car every time I got gas. I even changed banks so I could use a drive up.

It is so hard to have little ones and having to take them in all the time, you said you wouldn't do it again and you wont!

 

[lucyanna girl]

No one is perfect. I hope the babies and you all get some rest and feel better.



Penny

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

i would think that as long as you could keep your eye on them the entire time it wouldn't be too bad.


some people have different opinions on these things and some believe really strongly about it. as long as everything went ok, i wouldn't worry too much about it. just don't make it an everyday thing. you said it was only once, so you're not a bad mom.

 

[barkley]

my kids are 12 and 9 and i never leave them in a car with the motor running (too easy if one of them hits the gear shift to get the car moving). i realy don't even like to leave them in the car alone period-if my little guy gets upset and wants to take off and look for me i don't want his sister put in the position of trying to restrain him-or one or both of them taking off to where they 'think' i am. i also have found with multiple models of cars that despite having a keyless remote-a child can hold down the buttons of the lock mechanisms and keep you out (yeah it's hilarious to see mom standing in the pouring rain while you are seated in the drivers seat holding down the lock button ).

btw op-if you live in a little town with a bank that has no drive through teller and you get stuck in this situation again, give the bank a call-some (like mine) will send a teller out to grab the check and the deposit slip then bring you a receipt (i love my little tiny local bank).

 

[MushyMushy]

I don't think you're a bad mom at all, but I'm glad to hear you won't do that again.

My parents were always big on leaving us kids in the car alone. One time my dad did it with his truck and I put it in gear and ran into a wall, knocking the wall down. I was 5 and can still remember that. And I guess he wasn't too bright, because he left us alone in their car another time and my sister put the car in gear while I was in the back seat. I was able to jump out of the car to scream for my dad, but the car drifted half a block down the street. I hate to think of the disaster that could have been.

Those were our only two incidents, but my parents still left us alone in the car constantly after that.

 

[golfgal]

Well, when our kids were that age pretty much EVERYONE I know would have done the same thing, although usually here it is in the winter when it is cold . I didn't know anyone that took their kids into the gas station when they paid, even if they were awake. Running into the video store or where ever, kids stayed in the car. If it was hot, you left the car running with the air on, if it was cold, you left the car running with the heat on. Most people didn't bother to lock their doors though. That was a big bonus of living in a small town. No one ever had a kid stolen out of a car, I don't know anyone that ever had a problem doing that (not that it can't happen). Would I have done that in say Minneapolis, no, but in our little town where no one locked their houses, most people left the keys in the ignition while they were shopping, etc. we all did it.

 

[daisyduck123]

Really? You would have called the police if you came upon a car parked in front of the glass doors of the post office with a woman inside with her eyes glued to the car?

Perhaps I would have hung out near the car to make sure the kids were OK. Perhaps if I had to hang out near the car for 3 hours I'd have called the police. But call the police when I walk up to a car and see two kids in it? Sorry...wouldn't do it. There have to be a lot more damning evidence than "Oh look, here's a car with a couple of kids in it".

I am amazed...

Amazed? Really? That someone would call the police when 2 little kids are left alone in the car. Yes. It's against the law...and obviously the parent was gone long enough for the woman to take out her phone & dial 911. (also, obviously her eyes weren't glued to the car or she would've seen the woman talking on the phone).

I'd be amazed if someone didn't do something about it.

 

[FayeW]

Amazed? Really? That someone would call the police when 2 little kids are left alone in the car. Yes. It's against the law...and obviously the parent was gone long enough for the woman to take out her phone & dial 911. (also, obviously her eyes weren't glued to the car or she would've seen the woman talking on the phone).

I'd be amazed if someone didn't do something about it.

Actually, if you read the OP again, you will see that she CLEARLY said "I see a woman walking around my car with a cell phone".

 

[lclark0621]

No one is perfect.

And I am not flaming.

But there is NO way in h*** I would leave my DS (3) in the car, with it running or not. It is illegal & completely unsafe.

You never know what could happen in the blink of an eye. You could have your eye's "glued" to the car & watch someone barrel through the parking lot at full speed & smash into the car. You could have your eyes "glued" to the car as your old child shifts the car into gear & off it goes. Any number of things could go wrong.

If your child is asleep & you dont want to take them out, you find a drive through or you go to the bank later.

And to the people who asked, if I saw a car with children in it, you bet I would call the cops. It is unsafe & illegal.

I also call the cops if it is hot out & I see animals locked in a car.

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

The only problem that I see is that you left the car running. I don't think it would a big deal to leave them in the car, as long as you could see them the entire time and it was quick. JMHO. Please don't be too hard on yourself, we all have those less-than-perfect Mom moments!

 

[Mskanga]

No flames from me cause I've done it myself. I was driving to my sisters house, kids were sound asleep and I had to pee...BAD! Knowing the distance between rest stops and knowing how long the kids could sleep, I pulled into a rest stop, cracked the windows, locked the doors and peed the fastest I ever have in my life! I didn't even wash my hands so I used baby wipes when I got to the car. I wasn't afraid to leave them in the car, I was afraid they would wake up and panic cause I was gone.

Nancy with all due respect this really shocks me because a few days back when I posted about my daughter being missing during school events for an hour and a half , you basically agreed with another poster that my behavior expecting the school to do more to find my daughter was unreasonable and I was being overprotective and paranoid , but you are afraid that your girls would wake up in your car in the gas station and you are not in the car for a couple of minutes ? This is exactly what you said :

I couldn't have said it better myself! My DH is so paranoid with my girls, and I am so much more relaxed. My only rule is that the girls have to have their phones turned on and they have to let me know where they are (so if they are supposed to be someplace and they go somewhere else they have to check in).

Funny how I was being overprotective and paranoid when I believed that my daughter was missing because of what two school administrators had told me and their lack of participation to search for my daughter.

To the OP :
No flames from me , only I would never leave the car running EVER , the keys must be with me and the trips kept short.

 

[JVL1018]

I found Florida's(where the OP is from)law:

1) A No parent, legal guardian, or other person

21 responsible for a child younger than 6 years of age may not

22 leave such child unattended or unsupervised in a motor

23 vehicle for a period in excess of 15 minutes; however, no such

24 person may not leave a child unattended for any period

25 of time if the motor of the vehicle is running or the health

26 of the child is in danger.

So she would have been okay if the car was turned off.

I think it's absolutely ridiculous that some states have laws where you can't leave your 13 year old in a not running car where you can see them clearly.

You can have your 7 year old walk home alone from school, but you can't be 20 feet away from them locked in a turned off car where you can see them the entire time.

Makes no sense.

I am in no way in favor of ever leaving a child in a running car ever, nor at any time when you can't see them..not at a young age..but at 13 years old?? Still not running, but I would think at 13 I could leave my child sittting in car in the grocery store parking lot on a nice cool day...I'd even be wild and leave the windows wide open for a kid that age.

THAT would be illegal, but him standing outside the car alone would be perfectly fine.

 

[Mskanga]

In Pennsylvania as long as the child is over 6 years old , you can leave them in the car . But there's no age to leave them home alone.....go figure!

 

[aes74]

I found Florida's(where the OP is from)law:

1) A No parent, legal guardian, or other person

21 responsible for a child younger than 6 years of age may not

22 leave such child unattended or unsupervised in a motor

23 vehicle for a period in excess of 15 minutes; however, no such

24 person may not leave a child unattended for any period

25 of time if the motor of the vehicle is running or the health

26 of the child is in danger.




I'm the OP, and I'm really grateful to see the actual law. I was wondering this myself. In hindsight, I can see how moronic it was to leave the car running. *sigh* I really am a good mom. I am crazy about their safety around water, pools, don't let them walk places alone, very picky about babysitters, don't let them stand up in a shopping cart, etc. I will file this away in my "Dumb things I've done and learned from" folder. And I guess say my prayers tonight, being thankful my sweet babies are okay.

 

[magicmato]

I think everyone here has given you really good advice and told you the truth. We *all* have, at one point or another, done something that in hindsight we wonder what the heck we were thinking. Anyone who tells you that they never ever ever did anything that could ever be construed as improper or stupid is either deluded, forgetful or just plain lying. Part of growing and evolving as a parent is to learn from your mistakes. My aunts joke with me how your first child is your "trial" child, because that is the one you practice on, lol.

Don't worry. Your kids were not hurt and now you know better. That, at the end of the day, is what matters. Parents are not magically created from thin air, we evolve... some of us more quickly than others. (And some never get out of the prehistoric phase, lol.)

 

[jodifla]

No one is perfect.

And I am not flaming.

But there is NO way in h*** I would leave my DS (3) in the car, with it running or not. It is illegal & completely unsafe.

You never know what could happen in the blink of an eye. You could have your eye's "glued" to the car & watch someone barrel through the parking lot at full speed & smash into the car. You could have your eyes "glued" to the car as your old child shifts the car into gear & off it goes. Any number of things could go wrong.

If your child is asleep & you dont want to take them out, you find a drive through or you go to the bank later.

And to the people who asked, if I saw a car with children in it, you bet I would call the cops. It is unsafe & illegal.

I also call the cops if it is hot out & I see animals locked in a car.

Your examples are kind of bizarre. Wouldn't help if the mom were sitting in the car and someone came barreling through and hit them.

 

[jodifla]

Well, when our kids were that age pretty much EVERYONE I know would have done the same thing, although usually here it is in the winter when it is cold . I didn't know anyone that took their kids into the gas station when they paid, even if they were awake. Running into the video store or where ever, kids stayed in the car. If it was hot, you left the car running with the air on, if it was cold, you left the car running with the heat on. Most people didn't bother to lock their doors though. That was a big bonus of living in a small town. No one ever had a kid stolen out of a car, I don't know anyone that ever had a problem doing that (not that it can't happen). Would I have done that in say Minneapolis, no, but in our little town where no one locked their houses, most people left the keys in the ignition while they were shopping, etc. we all did it.

This is so true. My folks often left me in the car when I was a preschooler. It was no big deal back then. People in our small Minnesota town would just say hello to kids in the car, not call the cops.

But the nanny state has taken over.

 

[jodifla]

I found Florida's(where the OP is from)law:

1) A No parent, legal guardian, or other person

21 responsible for a child younger than 6 years of age may not

22 leave such child unattended or unsupervised in a motor

23 vehicle for a period in excess of 15 minutes; however, no such

24 person may not leave a child unattended for any period

25 of time if the motor of the vehicle is running or the health

26 of the child is in danger.




I'm the OP, and I'm really grateful to see the actual law. I was wondering this myself. In hindsight, I can see how moronic it was to leave the car running. *sigh* I really am a good mom. I am crazy about their safety around water, pools, don't let them walk places alone, very picky about babysitters, don't let them stand up in a shopping cart, etc. I will file this away in my "Dumb things I've done and learned from" folder. And I guess say my prayers tonight, being thankful my sweet babies are okay.

But in Florida in September, it's safer to have the car and AC running than to have the car off. Which makes the law pretty strange to me.

I had a situation where I needed to spend the night at a motel unexpectedly on a road trip after my car broke down. It was about 6 degrees outside in Ohio, with a wind chill of about 20 below. I had planned to drive through, so it took a few trips to bring our stuff in, and I was alone with DS, 4.

I put him in the room, put in a dvd, and then proceeded to unload the car. It was a better choice to me than marching my kid around in below 20 weather. But I'm sure if some of the posters on this board had realized my 4 year old was alone in a hotel room for about 30 seconds at a time, they would have called the cops.