My bad mother moment?

[JVL1018]

I have never left my kids in the car with the car running, but plenty of times, I have left them, locked in, with the keys in my hand..always where I could see them. Like pulling up to Blockbuster and returning to the movies into the outside slot.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I have never heard of any child being abducted in that circumstance.

Don't stress about it..but if you do it again, I'd take the keys with me and lock the kids in the car.

 

[aes74]

Thank you guys, I feel much better. I don't think I will ever do that again! By the way, I didn't turn the car off because I live in south Florida, and my poor children would have baked.

I didn't get angry with her, because I understood her point, and I think everyone should look out for all kids. I wish she had approached me differently, and shared her thoughts, but c'est la vie.

Thanks for your help. I really appreciate it.
Maybe I need one of those cars with the "remotes!"

 

[AmyJ of Ca]

Not that I want to get flamed but I leave my 4 kids in the car while I go pay the cashier for gas. The car isn't running and I crack the windows and lock the doors. I think that it would be more dangerous for me to wrangle all the kids across the parking lot. I have a 2 and 3 year old and they are a handful sometimes and in my opinion it is safer to leave them in there, watching a movie for the 45 seconds it take me to get there and back than trying to keep them from getting hit by some speeding idiot that is late for work. JMHO

 

[vettechick99]

I live in a small town like yours and while I don't have kids, I don't feel like what you did was truly awful. If you can trust your daughter to behave and open the doors only for you, what's the big deal?

 

[Liberty Belle]

It's not something I would ever do, I wouldn't have gotten to the door without imagining the worst possible scenario and gone running back to the car. My bad parenting comes in other forms!!

I think you reacted to the woman the right way, absolutely no point getting into an argument with her. I would be a little panicked that the police are going to turn up on my doorstep...sorry that probably wasn't the reassurance you were looking for!

There are much worse choices you could make as a parent, so live and learn.

Ditto.

I would never do it and while I probably wouldn't have called the police (unless more than ten minutes had gone by), I would have stood by the car and watched to make sure nothing happened.

I think, maybe, the police or child services might be calling you or stopping by. That's just a guess, and I could be totally wrong. Likely nothing will come of it, if they do stop by, though.

 

[Beth76]

OP, I have done that several times. I did this all the time when my little one was a baby and my older one was in preschool. I would lock my little one in the car while I ran in. I felt comfortable with the fact that the school wasn't on a busy street and there are moms coming and going the entire time. This has been the only place where I've been comfortable with it though.

I saw someone once leave her child in the car (buckled in the carseat) with it running in the parking lot of a strip mall on a major street. The mom didn't run into to a quick store either, it was Bed Bath and Beyond. There's no way she would have been able to watch the car while she was inside. Another time, I was at a gas station and a mom left her child in a car seat with the windows open and keys in the ignition (she was gone for several minutes). Granted it was *possible* she could see the car. But this gas station was at the intersection of two county highways.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I know some cars have the feature where the air can run for 20 minutes after you turn it off; I don't know if you have that feature. I never left the kids in a running car because if it blew up and they died, I wanted to get blown up with them. Weird, but true.

You took a little chance and everything worked out well. No big deal. You love your kids and raise them the best way you can. That's what we all do.

I think that woman was way out of line. Lecturing strangers is not only rude, it is weird. I think she should get busy minding her own business and not yours.

 

[disneylizzy]

She said, "I don't even have any children, and that scared me." traslated that means she has no idea what it's like to have an exhausted kid wake up from a 5 minute nap and not go back to sleep. She's never held that child for the rest of a miserable day and most of the night while it is too tired to fall asleep... and she hasn't been up the last three nights with a sick child either.

Parenting is hard, do the best you can... when you stop caring -- then start worrying.

Ditto.

No flames coming from me.

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

Boy, times have changed! I am 26 now but when I was younger my mom constantly did this. My mom would leave my brother and me in the car and do a LOT of errands where she wouldn't be able to see the car. Nothing ever happened and I turned out just fine!
OP, don't worry. The kids will be fine especially if you can see the car.

 

[Teacher03]

I don't think you are a bad mom, but I wanted to warn everybody that you can be arrested for this. I know a mom that left two kids about the age of yours in a car, went into the grocery store for about 5 minutes, when she walked out the police were there. She went to court and ended up spending two nights in jail. Just a warning!

 

[momof2inPA]

It was one store (bank), the doors were locked, and you could see if anyone approached the car. You did nothing wrong. I've stated many times that kids are much more likely to be hit by a car in a parking lot than carjacked. You just hear about carjacking as a headline on the news, while pedestrian accidents and deaths might get a blurb at the end of the broadcast or not mentioned at all.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Not judging, just warning. A mother here left her infant and 4 year old in a car while she went inside a school to check-out her child. The 4 year old ran inside the school and told her mother that the car was on fire. The 4 year old wasn't able to get her baby brother out of his car seat. The infant died.

Lori

 

[C.Ann]

Absolutely NO ONE is a "perfect" parent..

Try to relax.. I doubt very much that the police will come looking for you and if they do, just be honest and tell them the truth..

 

[Serena]

No one is perfect.
I remember when I first trimmed my babies fingernail, I accidently got her finger. I cried more than she did.
Or one of the few times my mom let me help her cook supper, a second later my sister was coming in the front door. She had found my daughter in the road.
That horrible feeling in your stomach is what makes the difference between good mom's and bad ones.
You care, that's most important.

 

[momrek06]

OP: When my DS' were little they each had the worst case of chicken pox imaginable...BUT each had them a few weeks apart...as soon as the older one was fine and back to normal my youngest one came down with them

MY POINT: I was thrilled (even back then 1988) that I had a "drive-up" bank I could go to, "drive-up" McD's to go to, "drive-up gas station" I could go to, a "drive-up" post office I could go to....etc...

I needed to get out of the house..after all this time with two sick kids...so I would take the kids and me OUT and not infect anyone else.

So, my suggestion would be to see if your bank has a drive-up window at any of their branchs and on days you are in a hurry, you will not have to worry about leaving the kids alone in the car!!!

EASY & EASY ...No Worries!!!

 

[paigevz]

I've never done that because I am completely PARANOID.........and, I found out recently that it is against the law to leave any child under 12 in a car here...........my 11 year old had been working on me, so I still had a good excuse to indulge my paranoia and take him in with me everywhere.

However, I have done other things that probably weren't the wisest...........you're not horrible, but do think twice before doing it anymore, really, anything could happen.

 

[jodifla]

OP: When my DS' were little they each had the worst case of chicken pox imaginable...BUT each had them a few weeks apart...as soon as the older one was fine and back to normal my youngest one came down with them

MY POINT: I was thrilled (even back then 1988) that I had a "drive-up" bank I could go to, "drive-up" McD's to go to, "drive-up gas station" I could go to, a "drive-up" post office I could go to....etc...

I needed to get out of the house..after all this time with two sick kids...so I would take the kids and me OUT and not infect anyone else.

So, my suggestion would be to see if your bank has a drive-up window at any of their branchs and on days you are in a hurry, you will not have to worry about leaving the kids alone in the car!!!

EASY & EASY ...No Worries!!!

Yes, I was going to suggest this too. I only get gas at stations that will let me pay at the pump, and my bank has a drive-in feature.

That being said, I can't get over what punitive jerks people are these days. The first words out of their mouths seem to be "I'm gonna call the cops!" I despise people like that. They should offer to help first, not get the police involved.

 

[Nancy]

No flames from me cause I've done it myself. I was driving to my sisters house, kids were sound asleep and I had to pee...BAD! Knowing the distance between rest stops and knowing how long the kids could sleep, I pulled into a rest stop, cracked the windows, locked the doors and peed the fastest I ever have in my life! I didn't even wash my hands so I used baby wipes when I got to the car. I wasn't afraid to leave them in the car, I was afraid they would wake up and panic cause I was gone.

 

[Disney Doll]

I can totally understand the lady who called the police. Sorry, but I would've done it too.

Really? You would have called the police if you came upon a car parked in front of the glass doors of the post office with a woman inside with her eyes glued to the car?

Perhaps I would have hung out near the car to make sure the kids were OK. Perhaps if I had to hang out near the car for 3 hours I'd have called the police. But call the police when I walk up to a car and see two kids in it? Sorry...wouldn't do it. There have to be a lot more damning evidence than "Oh look, here's a car with a couple of kids in it".

I am amazed...

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

It's not something I would ever do, I wouldn't have gotten to the door without imagining the worst possible scenario and gone running back to the car. My bad parenting comes in other forms!!

Very well put. My bad parenting, too, comes in other forms. (I love that quote)

I would never leave a child in the car, but I let my children play in the hot tub on occasion, they slept on the floor in hotels on occasion, now that they are older they swear a little once in a while...... and the list goes on.

Don't sweat it. Your kids have a great Mom!