My 5 year old grandson says he is not going

[sigmasal]

All the suggestions posted are great, I'm glad he's beginning to have a change of heart. I can't imagine him not having a blast once he's there! Good luck!

 

[msmama]

I have a 5 year old and NO WAY would I force him to go if he didn't want to. Just the possibility of what he could do to make people miserable is terrifying!!

I would say that everyone has to be prepared to have a bad time if you're going to force him. What if he refuses to leave the room? Are you going to cart him around kicking and screaming?

Yes, once he gets there he will most likely have a great time, and what I said above his worst case scenario, but personally, when other peoples happiness are dependent on it, I wouldn't chance it.

 

[DISNEYWITHCHILDREN]

I haven't read all the supplies, but has your grandson done overnights without his parents. I have an almost 6 year old, and until now she was never ready to do overnights without me. I live near Disney, and plan to go to one of the Disney hotels with friends for an upcoming Disney race. I have literally been preparing my daughter for months that she will be staying with my parents without me for 3 days. And while she has not done overnights, she spends a lot of time with them without me.

Personally his parents need to talk to them. If he is insistent he's not going without his parents do not force him. It will be traumatic for him, and miserable for all going. If one of his parents could go that would probably be best.

 

[Spunky946]

I have a 5 year old and NO WAY would I force him to go if he didn't want to. Just the possibility of what he could do to make people miserable is terrifying!!

I would say that everyone has to be prepared to have a bad time if you're going to force him. What if he refuses to leave the room? Are you going to cart him around kicking and screaming?

Yes, once he gets there he will most likely have a great time, and what I said above his worst case scenario, but personally, when other peoples happiness are dependent on it, I wouldn't chance it.

I was thinking the same thing. I would never force my dd 5 to go.

 

[letsgoreds]

Here is what I would do...

Print out an agenda that can be HIS (maybe on cardstock, maybe a small journal) for each of the days he will be gone (including departure), outlining what you are doing and when. Include ALL of the specifics you can (heading to the airport), going through security, riding on plane, Magical Express, checking into hotel.

ALSO include specific times (and let him have input) into when he would like to call his parents (see how frequently he would like to call). This will give him a sense of control at a time where he feels that all of it is being taken away.

Work with him (and his older brother) to come up with rides they want to ride, places they want to eat, etc, and include that on each day's To Dos or mark them down, Touring Plan style. Youtube is great. The more he understands and has 'control' over, the better/more secure he may feel.

Make copies for mom/dad, and let him know that mom/dad have his plan and will be following along on the journey and expect to receive reports (he has a job to do), see pictures of certain rides/experiences (mom/dad could give pointers on this on the agenda, or make up special small cards that the boys can carry with them). If you do a journal, mom/dad could even put in little 'go get 'em tiger' kind of love notes, etc.

I would be more sensitive to bedtimes, as when LO are tired, they tend to miss mom/dad more. Sometimes pool time at the resort fixes crabby/tired kids in a park. So does food and time sitting down for a snack.

Basically at any point of the planning/actual trip you can, think of ways to allow him to be a decision maker/in the know. This way he will feel more like he has a choice vs. something being done to him.

Good luck! It is tricky. Having big brother there is a huge plus. I understand other's posters concerns about shipping off a 5yo, but it totally depends on the kid. My 8yo couldn't have done it at 5, but my 3yo would be find with it at 3. When I was in second grade, my parents shipped me and my 4yo sister off to my grandmother in NY (flew by ourselves) for a long weekend. It was a great life experience. Have a great time! No fear...they can smell it!

 

[algg]

Back from Disney and grandson did great, no crying, no asking to go home or for his daddy. Had a great time with both of them, Wilderness Lodge was great and it was so nice to just take boat over to Magic Kingdom. Did 3 character meals and both kids really got into autographs and pictures with characters. The 7 year old could not understand why he could not stay extra day.

 

[SEA333]

Back from Disney and grandson did great, no crying, no asking to go home or for his daddy. Had a great time with both of them, Wilderness Lodge was great and it was so nice to just take boat over to Magic Kingdom. Did 3 character meals and both kids really got into autographs and pictures with characters. The 7 year old could not understand why he could not stay extra day.

That is awesome news! Thanks for coming back with the update. Glad you guys has so much fun!!!

 

[kandb]

I think it's sad some parents don't take their children's fears of separation seriously. I remember as a child not wanting to separate from my mother. It is a very scary feeling feeling for a child. I would definitely not force a 5 year old to go without his parents, if he is truly scared. I don't think a child's feelings should be discounted because "it's only a child and I am the parent and I rule". It's also possible that the nights putting him to bed will be tough since that is when he will truly miss his parents. Remember, he is still young.

 

[Happyjen27]

Back from Disney and grandson did great, no crying, no asking to go home or for his daddy. Had a great time with both of them, Wilderness Lodge was great and it was so nice to just take boat over to Magic Kingdom. Did 3 character meals and both kids really got into autographs and pictures with characters. The 7 year old could not understand why he could not stay extra day.

Awesome news!! Thanks for the update.

 

[Aaeolien]

I think if i told my son "hey you are going to disney with grandma and grandpa for a week" he would have the suitcase packed, the disney trip stuff found (pins, light up toys) and asking to swing by the dollar store for glow sticks. He is 5. Lol. Every kid is different though.

 

[aubriee]

I think if i told my son "hey you are going to disney with grandma and grandpa for a week" he would have the suitcase packed, the disney trip stuff found (pins, light up toys) and asking to swing by the dollar store for glow sticks. He is 5. Lol. Every kid is different though.

True! We took our then 3 1/2 y/o grandson for his first ever WDW Feb 2011 (his mom is not a Disney fan, but says I can take the grandsons anytime). When I called her, all she said was fine, when do you want him, what all does he need, and are you sure you don't want to take the baby too. I told her we wanted some one on one bonding time and would take the baby by himself when he turned three. We weren't going to be leaving for another 3 months, so assumed they'd wait until just before we left to tell him. Nope! That same evening he threw a fit for them to call me, told me he was going to see "Mick Mouse", and why couldn't we leave right now. We spent three months with this kid wanting to know every day if we were leaving the next day to see "Mick Mouse". My son kept saying he was driving them crazy. They drove us to the airport and he was so excited, we had to make him hug them bye. I had told them that we'd would be calling them every morning and every night so he could talk with them. He had such a great time that he didn't even miss them. In fact, it was funny. At night and in the mornings, I'd call my D-I-L and hand my grandson the phone. He'd say a quick 'hi, gotta go, I'm busy, I'm having lots of fun, yeah, I love you too, no I don't wanna talk, bye, then toss me the phone. As I picked the phone up, I'd hear my D-I-L's sad voice, saying "I love you Levi, don't you miss mommy" and have to tell her he'd already tossed me the phone. After about the third or fourth day, she was laughing, but at the same time was almost in tears, saying "He doesn't even seem to miss us at all does he? We may have to come down there after him".

They picked us up at the airport in Dallas after the trip. It was funny, because as we walked up to baggage claim and was waiting for our bag, he was talking ninety miles a minute about what all he did and how much fun he had. He was chattering nonstop without even taking a breath. We got the bag and were all walking out the double doors that lead to outside. Just as the double doors opened, a really cold blast of air hit us. His talking came to a sudden screeching halt, his eyes got huge, he came to a dead stop, then without saying a single word, he just suddenly turned around and started running back toward baggage claim and the doors that lead back to the secure area. While my husband and son laughed their heads off, my D-I-L and I chased him down, yelling for him to stop. When we finally caught him and asked what he was doing, he said, "It's too cold here. I'm going back to Disney World where it's warm and I can swim every day". He then glared at me and said, "Nanna get me back on that plane and take me back to Mick Mouse". I reminded him he hadn't seen his parents or baby brother in a week and didn't he want to spend some time with them. He looked at his mom and back at his dad, who had caught up to us by that time and said, "I saw them, now take me back to Disney World right now! I'm not staying here!"

His younger brother will now be three on March 21st. We are going down there during that time and have talked with his parents about us taking him, but he is a big momma's boy and there is just no way he'd stay away from his mom that long. He'll spend the weekend with me, but by Sunday nights he's wanting to go home. We are going to have to wait until he is a little more mature. His older brother is not thrilled. He keeps telling us we need to take his brother to WDW, so he can have another turn.

 

[aubriee]

delete

 

[Gina-Gina-Bo-Bina]

I think it's sad some parents don't take their children's fears of separation seriously. I remember as a child not wanting to separate from my mother. It is a very scary feeling feeling for a child. I would definitely not force a 5 year old to go without his parents, if he is truly scared. I don't think a child's feelings should be discounted because "it's only a child and I am the parent and I rule". It's also possible that the nights putting him to bed will be tough since that is when he will truly miss his parents. Remember, he is still young.

I agree that parents need to be sensitive to a child's feelings, yet I firmly believe we need to "stretch" our kids too. Many kids need that push to experience something new (scary or not) when it has the potential for some very positive experiences. Its all about growing.

I have three nieces who are coddled and protected to an unhealthy degree because their parents take their fears so seriously. They aren't asked to do ANYTHING that makes them uncomfortable, or that's outside their personal limits (which are super restrictive). There is a 6 year old that still eats jarred infant food. There's an almost-20-year-old who has to be brought home every Friday from university because she won't stay the weekend in her dorm (she has a private room). The same 20 year old is chaufferred by mom and dad everywhere she goes because she's "too scared" to learn to drive. They are kids in need of that push, in need of the facing of at least some of their fears on a gradual basis so they can grow and develop.

Turns out, thanks to the OP posting back, that it sounds like it was a very positive experience for this little person. I think that's awesome! And probably a very memorable and happy step in his development and independence. There can be a balance of acknowledging fears and worries while still helping these little folks "grow".

 

[sigmasal]

So happy to hear it was a good trip for you! Was thinking about you and wondering how it went!