My 13yo niece was crushed and publicly humilated

[Beth76]

I have a hard time believing that this girl purposely invited your niece with the intention of doing this with the help of grandma. I wonder if grandma was just a bit senile and the girl and her parents had no idea what was going on. I think your sister should have gotten to the bottom of it right then instead of sending letters to people who weren't even involved.

 

[agnes!]

Well, the nut sure didn't fall far from the family tree, did it? Tell your DNiece that there are a lot of DIS'ers who would like to open some whoop-*** on that girl's family....hmmmm...well, maybe don't tell her *that* exactly .
What a disgusting, dishonorable, sacreligious thing to do on a day that celebrates a girl becoming a woman of faith. Maybe in Nasty-Grandma's family tree that actually means that Little Miss Teen Queen is now considered to be fully indoctrinated in The Way of The Queen Bee?

I'm so sorry for your niece & her family, I'm sure the entire episode was and continues to be a trauma for them all. I would be devastated if this cruelty had been perpetrated on my DD. But then I'd open a can of...
I hope that your DNiece has some good friends around her, who will stand with her if Little Miss tries anything like this at school.

agnes!

 

[ZephyrHawk]

As the sole girl in my class...and most of my grade...not invited to the bat mitsvah of a girl I'd known and played with since kindergarten, I can say it's almost as bad as to not be invited at all. But I think this is worse.

Girls that age are awful. I wouldn't go back to that time of my life for all the world.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I have a hard time believing that this girl purposely invited your niece with the intention of doing this with the help of grandma. I wonder if grandma was just a bit senile and the girl and her parents had no idea what was going on. I think your sister should have gotten to the bottom of it right then instead of sending letters to people who weren't even involved.

It was the girl who wanted my niece to leave. She got gramma to send my niece home.

 

[java]

You know this is a lesson that there are rotten people in all age categories. That Grandmother should be ashamed of herself but she probably isn't. She is a loser and a poor example to her family. How dare she.
I have a 13 year old son home sick today and he said "crazy old lady and obnoxious family-who cares what they say" Really losers in life will try to bring you down. Don't let them.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

What a sad and strange story. Sounds like somebody forgot to give Gammy her meds that day...

 

[OceanAnnie]

I don't know what I would've done. I know what I would've liked to have done. I'm sure your sister was stunned. I'm stunned just reading it.

I'm sure your sister will try to do something special for her daughter to in some way ease the pain. I can't understand how people can be so cruel. It's dastardly.

What's wrong with people?

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I'd love to know what, if any, resposes she gets on the letters she sent!

I am going to call my sister in a little while to see how her day was in school yesterday.

As the sole girl in my class...and most of my grade...not invited to the bat mitsvah of a girl I'd known and played with since kindergarten, I can say it's almost as bad as to not be invited at all. But I think this is worse.

Girls that age are awful. I wouldn't go back to that time of my life for all the world.

I kept thinking that yesterday. When I was in 8th grade, I was one of about 5 people who did NOT get invited to this girls 8th grade graduation party. The entire 8th grade was invited but me and a few other kids. I remember how it felt to hear all the kids talk about this party and know I wasn't invited.

I realized my exclusion does not hold a candle to what happened to my neice.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

That is just terrible! I would have been so tempted to go in and start ruckus with those witches.
I have 2 teen DD and now how mean girls can be but those adults need to be told a thing or too.

 

[Mono~rail]

That's terrible! Whatever the reason for it. . . that is a terrible way for anyone to behave - religious event or not. To have the adults involved in treating peers that way only makes it that much more revolting. Reminds me of the behavior that is shown on that MTV show Super Sweet 16. (My teenager used to watch that pile of mess.)

As a mom of a teenager girl, that is agonizing to even think about a kid going through. The girl's mom did the right thing by picking her up and leaving rather than going in and causing a scene. That would have only brought more attention to what they did to the poor kid.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Your poor niece! That's just awful! Do you think maybe the grandmother has dementia? I can't imagine an adult doing something like that, otherwise.

 

[agnes!]

It was the girl who wanted my niece to leave. She got gramma to send my niece home.

And Granny went along with it?!?
AND all the other ADULTS there didn't say anything?!? The so-called 'mother' didn't step in and stop the madness? If I would have been a guest there, I would have gone up to Granny and the parents and expressed my regrets that I also didn't want to stay. I would have sat with your DNiece & the other girl until someone came to get them.
Oh! AND I would have taken my gift BACK.
AND told them it was $500 .

Oh my, if MY DD EVER did anything like this, she would be living the Amish Life for a *very* long time AND the party would have been OVER, guests sent home, gifts given back the instant she asked.
I had to laugh. If my DD went up to her grandmother and told her something like Little Miss Queen Bee said to *her* Granny?...Hoo boy.

agnes!

 

[ilisao]

That's a horrible thing to do.

I completely understand being angry but I don't understand why she would send a letter to her teacher and principal. the Rabbi I sort of understand since it was a Bat Mitzvah.

I am guessing she meant the religious school teacher and principal. What was done goes against every Jewish value, values which should have been enforced at school as well as at home. Clearly something was missed during the girl's religious education.

The whole thing breaks my heart and as a Jew, it embarrasses me as well.

 

[suzannen]

I really just don't understand this at all. Bat Mitzvah's are very important and sacred events with months, often years, in preparation for them. I find it hard to believe that on such an important day, the girl, the parents and the grandmother's focus is not on the event but on embarrassing two young girls. I'm not saying it couldn't or wouldn't happen, but with all of the Bat Mitzvah's and Bar Mitzvah's I've been involved with, the religious importance of the event, particularly at the syngagogue is what is uppermost on everyone's mind.

If it did happen as you said (and the grandmother was not confused or senile), then I would send the invitation back to the parents with a note asking for exactly what purpose they had invited your niece if they did not want her there and then I would send a copy of that to the rabbi.

 

[Liberty Belle]

It was the girl who wanted my niece to leave. She got gramma to send my niece home.

That makes it even worse. I was hoping grandma was just senile, or something.

 

[golfgal]

It was the girl who wanted my niece to leave. She got gramma to send my niece home.

I think this makes it even worse as well. I can't believe that Grandma would go along with this, ok, I CAN believe it seeing how some people act but WOW.

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

That is so incredibly cruel. I can't even begin to imagine how crushed your niece was. Please keep us updated. This is just terrible.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I really just don't understand this at all. Bat Mitzvah's are very important and sacred events with months, often years, in preparation for them. I find it hard to believe that on such an important day, the girl, the parents and the grandmother's focus is not on the event but on embarrassing two young girls. I'm not saying it couldn't or wouldn't happen, but with all of the Bat Mitzvah's and Bar Mitzvah's I've been involved with, the religious importance of the event, particularly at the syngagogue is what is uppermost on everyone's mind.

If it did happen as you said (and the grandmother was not confused or senile), then I would send the invitation back to the parents with a note asking for exactly what purpose they had invited your niece if they did not want her there and then I would send a copy of that to the rabbi.

I'm sorry but I think your post is rather mean to the OP. Just because you've attended Bar/Bat Mitzvah's where nothing like this would happen doesn't mean it could.

yes, it's a religious event but reality is some people suck regardless of how religious they are and her neice met them.

 

[KristiKelly]

It was the girl who wanted my niece to leave. She got gramma to send my niece home.

What a spoiled rotten little witch! The parents & Grandmother both should have told the girl that she shouldn't invite people that she didn't want there and suck it up.


I'm sorry for your niece. Hopefully the kids that were there will take a good look at the way that family treats people and move on.

 

[Chicago526]

How horible. I was bullied and teased from 1st grade to 8th, but I never suffered public humiliation at this level. I feel so bad for those girls.

OP, please keep us updated, I hope some responsible adults take control of the situation and give the bully exactly what she has coming to her!