Mulan Is Back

[hematite153]

last time we were in court we had to specify the xtra weekend on the odd month- he had the choice of the beginning of the month or the last of the month. Well, he chose the 3rd weekend, my atty had to remind the court that if visitation for that month had 5 weekends, he would have them the 2nd, 4th and 5th (as in the month of May) at anytime all he has to do is write it on the calendar..............

Isn't this the second weekend in June? Now I'm worried.

 

[poohfriend]

Isn't this the second weekend in June? Now I'm worried.

Did he have them the last weekend of May, 1st of June? I would count that as the 5th weekend of May. And if so, wouldn't he still be due for the kids this weekend?

I'm worried too.

Make sure you are in the right. If not, I would get the kids in the car and drive them to a convienent place for DAMM in county. Do whatever you can to suggest that once you realized what was going on that you made an effort to fix it. (everyone makes mistakes).

I still can't help but get frustrated for you. You drive to halfway point last weekend and he doesn't show...no notice, nothing. You give him notice and he makes it into some awful play for the Crazy judge.

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

For the month of June: He would have them the 1st and 3rd weekend. For May he had them the 2nd, 4th and 5th because of Memorial Day weekend. His extra weekend was the last of May.
Hope that helps clarify....

No call yet His Dr appt was out of town, and it was on Thursday. I'm wondering if I should just jump the gun and call him, or if I should wait till he calls me I kinda figured, with him out of town, maybe he wouldn't fly home till Sat or Sun and then maybe he would call me then I'm trying to be patient and maybe if I don't hear from him by Monday then I will for sure call him- does that sound like a good plan I just don't want to scare him off by being to forward.
Mulan

 

[buckler]

No call yet His Dr appt was out of town, and it was on Thursday. I'm wondering if I should just jump the gun and call him, or if I should wait till he calls me I kinda figured, with him out of town, maybe he wouldn't fly home till Sat or Sun and then maybe he would call me then I'm trying to be patient and maybe if I don't hear from him by Monday then I will for sure call him- does that sound like a good plan I just don't want to scare him off by being to forward.
Mulan

I vote for not calling him. Let him make the next move. Do you really want some guy that you have to chase after from day 1? Let him chase you a bit. If he takes the initiative and calls you this time, then it would be ok for you to initiate a phone call in the future.

 

[jackdis]

I vote for not calling him. Let him make the next move. Do you really want some guy that you have to chase after from day 1? Let him chase you a bit. If he takes the initiative and calls you this time, then it would be ok for you to initiate a phone call in the future.

I agree...

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

I vote for not calling him. Let him make the next move. Do you really want some guy that you have to chase after from day 1? Let him chase you a bit. If he takes the initiative and calls you this time, then it would be ok for you to initiate a phone call in the future.

You're right. I just have to be patient.

Mulan

 

[poohfriend]

For the month of June: He would have them the 1st and 3rd weekend. For May he had them the 2nd, 4th and 5th because of Memorial Day weekend. His extra weekend was the last of May.
Hope that helps clarify....

That makes sense. thanks.

I simply cannot believe he skipped last weekend and now wants you to figure out how to manage if he wants to have the kids days beyond the weekend.

I just shouldn't be surprised with anything DAMM does.

Here's one vote for call if you want to..but give it a few days. It's perfectly acceptable to show some initiative. Be yourself. Friends can call friends anytime. The thing to watch for is if you're the only one calling .

 

[graygables]

Sorry I've been away! It's been a LOOONGGGG several weeks.

Callin' the guy...nopers. Let him call you. If he's interested, he will. The End.

DAMM...I don't know what the big deal is if it is all spelled out in the decree. It's a simple matter of reading the "rules" and abiding by them. Not his weekend, too bad. If he's supposed to drive to pick them up for Father's Day, it's spelled out in black and white. It's a COURT ORDER, for Pete's sake, you follow it. Period.

GF/EXSIL...Don't talk to these people. The only words out of your mouth to them should be, "Speak to my attorney." [click]. Memorize it. Use it. EMBRACE it. "Speak to my attorney." [click] Unless your court order is wonky, they aren't involved with ANY of it and should have no contact with you (AND your attorney should be seeing to that, by the way)

Does the counselor have anything to say about the manipulation he is putting them through? I find it odd that they keep coming back saying they don't want to stay with you or whatnot and the counselor isn't doing anything ABOUT that in the courts. I know someone who had a similar situation and the counselor worked with a separate representative for the children and got a "cease and desist" or something like that. If the ex kept manipulating the kids, the counselor and representative could revoke the visitation (and did).

 

[graygables]

and if I may steer OT a bit...12yo could use some pixies (and Mama Bear, too, I suppose). Her recital costume was ordered entirely too small and we were unable to fix it, so she chose not to dance. It was a very difficult decision for her and I am SO stinkin' angry about the whole situation. The dance teacher/owner was just "can't help you" and reminded me that all costumes were non-refundable . This would have been her first recital (she's danced 2 years, but they only do shows every other year) and with her Asperger's, we have NEVER been able to see her do anything like this and I, personally, was looking forward to it. 9yo is still in the recital and one group performed to "I Hope You Dance" which made me completely break down. My eyes are still puffy.

12yo has been diagnosed with PCOS and the endo told her if she didn't lose some weight and improve her bloodwork by Nov, she would put her on insulin. This dance costume shredded the rest of any motivation or self-esteem DD had and we are really struggling. Pixies are greatly appreciated...

 

[Gillian]

:12yo has been diagnosed with PCOS and the endo told her if she didn't lose some weight and improve her bloodwork by Nov, she would put her on insulin. This dance costume shredded the rest of any motivation or self-esteem DD had and we are really struggling. Pixies are greatly appreciated...

hugs to you and your daughter(s)! What has the dr suggested for PCOS?

 

[enlmomma]

Please read " He is Just not that into you" it is a great book for those in the dating world. And just for clarification I am not saying this title is the new guy but dating is hard and there are a lot of losers.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

Mulan...I agree. NO CALLS!

By the way, has he called you yet?

Graygables...so sorry about your daughter! I wish they had been more understanding. I just put on a show with the kids at my school, and 3 girls were supposed to be in pink leotards, tights, and shoes...well, because of a bit of irresponsibility on the kids and parents parts, a language barrier, and size problems, one girl ended up with a black leotard and white tights....yeah, it didn't look great, but it was all about the experience. I wish things would have worked out better for ya!!

 

[jackdis]

Just a thought after reading graygables' post....
Wouldn't a court appointed law guardian be good to have to look out for the kids when things like this happen? It might just end up being someone else "on their side" and more vocal about the crazy things your ex does.

graygables - hugs to you and your girls....

 

[graygables]

hugs to you and your daughter(s)! What has the dr suggested for PCOS?

Thanks for the pixies, all! The doc has put her on Metformin to try to get her symptoms stabilized. Her last bloodwork was really bad.

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

DAMM never showed up for Father's Day I'm sorry for the kids though, but they are spending the day with my best friend and her family. They thought of him for Father's day rather than their own dad. They gave him a generic Thank you card and some golf balls- 100% their idea!

Dawn- Lots of Pixie Dust to you and your girls. I'm so sorry about the disappointment- it just breaks my heart!

The kids still see the counselor, a legal guardian cannot be set up unless we get the case out of county. JTB wouldn't allow a legal guardian anyhow in his court room. But we are working on something.
My atty and I will speak hopefully on Monday.

No calls yet, although I am still a bit giddy, I'm loosing that feeling fast and need a recharge, only a call can do that. I will check out that book, "He is just not that into you", maybe a need a reality check. I just hate to get my hopes up on someone who may just not be interested Maybe I got the wrong signals- I'm sure that I didn't, but maybe I did, maybe I am looking for something thats just not there. We'll see.......

Mulan

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

Please read " He is Just not that into you" it is a great book for those in the dating world. And just for clarification I am not saying this title is the new guy but dating is hard and there are a lot of losers.

I went online and got to read the summary and a chapter by chapter breakdown with questions and answers. Boy, the truth sometimes hurt. I was chasing something that just wasn't there, cuz if there was something he would have called by now. No excuses, time to move on.
Thanks for sparring me any further heartache.
Mulan

 

[mom2grace]

to your kiddos.

I am praying for all of you!

I would not allow him to have any visitation at all until you can get something from the judge since the summer visitation schedule has been so dramatically changed. I would think this would need a visitation modification by the court.

Does your visitation say, 5 weeks in the summer, or EOW if DAMM flakes out?!

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

to your kiddos.

I am praying for all of you!

I would not allow him to have any visitation at all until you can get something from the judge since the summer visitation schedule has been so dramatically changed. I would think this would need a visitation modification by the court.

Does your visitation say, 5 weeks in the summer, or EOW if DAMM flakes out?!

The visitation agreement spells out EOW, holidays, birthdays, spring break, fall break, Thanksgiving and Christmas. As to summer it say 5 weeks, all with 30 days notification by him to me. It also states that if he doesn't show, he forfits. But I can see every corner where DAMM can get away with anything just by pleading "oh, I forgot, I got confused" ALL BS excuses.
We will have no choice but to go back to court over this whole visitation fiasco. I'll see what my atty thinks and proceed from there....

Mulan

 

[barkley]

when your attny is addressing this you might suggest that someone use one of those simple free calendaring programs on-line where you can print up an easy to reference one year calendar on a single page. it can show exactly which weekends in each month are ex's/which are yours. then it gets signed off on by both of you to show you both know exactly which are which. i've seen some custody cases where a new one came out right around september of each year because that way the main custodial parent had access to the kiddo's school and school year activities scheduals.

 

[Mulan'sWarrior]

when your attny is addressing this you might suggest that someone use one of those simple free calendaring programs on-line where you can print up an easy to reference one year calendar on a single page. it can show exactly which weekends in each month are ex's/which are yours. then it gets signed off on by both of you to show you both know exactly which are which. i've seen some custody cases where a new one came out right around september of each year because that way the main custodial parent had access to the kiddo's school and school year activities scheduals.

Yeah, I think thats a great idea. Although, its sad that one has to 'remind' DAMM about his kids. Hey, do you think we can add to that calendar on the 5th of every month "Child Support due"
Mulan