Mothers of young children - playdate protocol? wrg brd-please move to CB. Thx.

[Kimberle]

We're kindof new to the "playdate" area. Just wondering how other Mom's handle it.

Brittany is 5 and will be starting kindergarten in the fall. She's been in the same pre-school for a couple of years. We've been going to lots of parties for a couple of years, so we're "cool" in that area.

She had her first "official" playdate last weekend. We went to her friends house for about an hour. I stayed and the Mom seemed fine with that.

At this age & stage of the "game", do you stay for all the playdates? Do you stay for 1 or 2 until you are comfortable in the home?

I want Brittany to start inviting her friends over, too. But I'm not thrilled with the idea of a parent staying the entire time for every playdate. We've got kindof a small home and my dh generally does quite a bit of work on the weekends.

 

[catherines_mama]

Hey Kim! It's been forever! How are you all doing?

Well.. at 3, Catherine playdates some. We've done about 6 bday parties so far this year. The kid is popular. LOL

We only 'playdate' with her best friend Grace. Grace's mom and I are getting to be quick friends as well. I have brought Grace home from school with me before and Kelly has taken Catherine on a Saturday before. I know that if Catherine acts up (which with Grace is SO possible - pinching and scratching) that Kelly will be fair but gentle in her disciple.

kelly is a basic attachment parenting believer. I'm not. But we still get along great and handle our kids similarly.

I correct Grace when she's with me.. and she's okay with that.

Now, If she were to playdate at another friends house. I think I'd stay the 1st time and make sure she's comfy there and the parents are comfy w/ her and her behaviour. I'd ask the same of a child playdating at my house.

Good luck with it all and just do what makes you feel right inside.

 

[KimRaye]

Originally posted by Kimberle
But I'm not thrilled with the idea of a parent staying the entire time for every playdate. We've got kindof a small home and my dh generally does quite a bit of work on the weekends.

If it's only for about an hour, is there any way to make the playdate at a park or somewhere kid-friendly? Just an idea. DD just finished kindergarten and we're ALL involved in a summer play group. Outdoors for nice days, indoors for bad days. The first is tomorrow. 16 out of 19 are expected. PLUS, siblings, etc. It takes some planning but I think it'll be worth it.

 

[kadaten]

Well, we don't do a lot of them, but I generally stay. The way I look at it is it's a playdate for me, too! The kids have someone to play with, so us moms have a moment or two to be able to talk to another adult Imagine....

I bet there are as many opinions on it as there are moms...best bet is to ask her what she thinks....you could always frame it as taking turns watching the kids....that way you have an hour or 2 free for errands or lunch with the hubby or sleep or whatever while the other has the kids....and trade off the next week...

 

[KimRaye]

Originally posted by kadaten
....you could always frame it as taking turns watching the kids....

That's exactly what I was thinking, too.

 

[Az Pirates]

I think it really depends. Most of my dd's playdates are friends from church, so I already know the parents pretty well. We usually do the drop and run thing - maybe hang out and visit a little at pick-up time if we both have a minute.
For school friends I either stay for a little while the first time they play or try to set the first meeting at a park or McDonalds - you'd be surprised how much you can learn about someones parenting style hanging out at the McD's playground!

 

[Kimberle]

Thanks, everyone!

I know there is no "right" or "wrong", everybodies different! It just feels sort of "akward", but I'm sure we'll get the "hang" of it soon enough.....

 

[Gupsmom]

I don't stay at playdates, unless it was something we set up as a time for the kids to play so the adults could socialize....a family invite. Other than that, I've never had a mom stay here for a playdate.

I do know most of the parents fairly well because I see them at every school function. A lot of them have become good friends, so that helps. My youngest was invited on her first playdate earlier the year, at 3 1/2 yrs old. I didn't know the Mom (I do now since my DD is engaged to her son..lol). When I took my DD over, I stood in their front hall and talked to the mom for about 20 minutes. It was enough time to get a feel for the environment. My DD was practically pushing me out the door by the end of 20 minutes though. My kids wouldn't be too thrilled if I stayed.

I like the idea of going to a playground. My middle DD (5 yrs) has a friend that, for various supervision related reasons, I don't want her going to his house alone. If the mom calls again, I plan on saying we have plans to go to the playground and inviting them to join us.

Jess

 

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by kadaten
Well, we don't do a lot of them, but I generally stay. The way I look at it is it's a playdate for me, too! The kids have someone to play with, so us moms have a moment or two to be able to talk to another adult Imagine....

This is what I love about playdates as well. We mostly have them with children of my friends so it's a great way to catch up while the kids play. We have gone to a few with school friends but again the other moms and I hung out while the kids played.

I'd only leave DD at the house of one of my friends since we know eachother so well.

What do people do about parties in your group? If the parents all stay then I'd expect them to do the same with a playdate.

Finally, I think the park is a great idea. We've had playdates at the playground right near our house and then people could go over to our house for the bathroom but the kids didn't really play inside. I even did snacks outside.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

Originally posted by Kimberle
Thanks, everyone!

I know there is no "right" or "wrong", everybodies different! It just feels sort of "akward", but I'm sure we'll get the "hang" of it soon enough.....

You'll get the hang of it and then before you know it you'll be getting the hang of helping her into a prom dress and teaching her to drive.

Enjoy these years!!!! Playdates were GREAT fun and we did some of each, hanging with the parents or drop and run.