Mothers day challenge

[Cindy B]

Now I have a question here. (Pardon if I get emotional)

I have an undescribable relationship with my mother. We are not close, but we don't fight if that makes sense. She is just emotionally distant.

Now yesterday, I was getting a mothers day card, and there were so many gushy Mother you have done so much, you were there for me, blah blah blah cards..

None of those apply in my situation. But all of the cards were like that. Do you know how hard it is to find a card that just says Happy Mothers Day?

I keep looking and all I see is mush, and stuff that doesnt apply.

I've been on my own since 17. All the milestones that mothers were supposed to help with like picking out wedding dresses, being at births, going to buy prom dresses, NEVER HAPPENED.

I know I have tried, one year I wrote a nice poem up about her, put it in a nice frame, and she never looked at it. (it was recent, like when I became a mother). She has never said she loved me, and she has never said she is proud of me.

I am doing the obligatory mothers day things, hoping for one day, for her to be this mother. Or to even say that she is proud of me going to school, doing a career, etc... I wonder if and when it will happen.

My mother in law was more like a mom to me. And now that she is gone, its sad. Really sad.

Anyway, thats my mothers day challenge.

 

[Mermaid02]

I'm sorry Cindy.... that must be tough.

I think cards are over priced and over rated...... Get her a little bouquet at the grocery store and drop it by. No gush no hype- just a "Happy Mother's Day Mom" then go enjoy your day.

 

[Marion]

I have a similar relationship with my mother and spent ages at the card shop last week. Finding one for my wonderful mom-in-law was so easy. Finding one for my own mother was hard. I feel obligated to send her a card for I know my aunt will be on the phone soon reminding me (like I have EVER forgotten???) and would feel guilty if I didn't.

It's hard to work up much daughterly feeling for the woman who completely neglected her grandchildren's birthdays .. not even a phone call. For Christmas/birthday she sent me a card, and lovingly signed it with her first name... go figure. Hallmark just doesn't cover ALL these heartwarming occassions

~Marion

 

[Rajah]

I agree -- get her a small bouquet or flower or greenery at the store and leave it at that.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I am close to my Mom. But I still have a hard time picking out a card for her. We are just not the mushy type. Why can't there just be a simple card?

Now I did buy a card for my MIL this year and that was so much easier to pick out. We have developed a good relationship over the last year. She was really touched by it too.

 

[Cindy'sCastle]

My mom & I are close like friends, say I love you and, well actually she's in my business more than I'm in hers (typical Italian mom). So I don't like getting a really mushy card but I like to find a cute happy card that says I love you & how I'm glad she's there for me.

My stepmom & I are more like friends. We call each other and keep in touch to what's going on. So I like to find a close friends type mother's day card for her.

I'm sorry to hear about all of you who don't have a loving mom based relationship with your mother. I don't think I could ever be like that with my children. I don't understand how a mother can distance herself like that with her own child. But I know people's hearts can change and I pray they do. I wish all the mothers here a wonderful mothers day. Hug your children and let them know how proud you are to be their mother.

Cindy

 

[clh2]

Cindy B - your mom and mine could be sisters. I spent way too long trying to find a card that also expressed just a brief "Happy Mother's Day". I found one - it took me about 20 minutes at the Hallmark store.

My mom was never proud of my accomplishments, and almost seemed to belittle my sisters and me. She isn't any better with the grandkids either.

I don't even bother trying to get her anything (i.e. a gift) for Mother's Day anymore. It just is too hard trying to find something for her that is useful and would be appreciated. My DH and I "scored" at X-mas though - we donated money to a pipe organ fund my mom and dad's church is buying. (Dad is the church treasurer, and mom is in the choir.)

 

[CALIFLADY]

I have the same problem at Father's Day (sorry to steal your thread).

My Dad never mowed the lawn or did handyman chores around the house.

My Dad never lent me the keys to the car.

My Dad never lent me money.

My Dad didn't work hard to bring home the bacon.

My Dad doesn't fish.

My Dad doesn't golf.

So that rules out about 80% of the Father's Day cards on the market.

Yes, it's a challenge.

But I still love him. He's my Father.

Best of luck finding just the right thing for your Mother!

 

[faithinkarma]

None of those apply in my situation. But all of the cards were like that. Do you know how hard it is to find a card that just says Happy Mothers Day?

YES!!!! I had that problem most of my life...but let me tell you a short story if I may


One year I got fed up trying to find a non-mushy one, so I just bit the bullet and got her a sentimental one. Imagine my shock, the next time I visited to see that she had framed it.

Cut ahead 5 years.....my mother passed away. My sisters are cleaning out her room. They find this framed card. They decide the words are perfect and one of them decides to read it at her funeral.

I'm not sure what the moral of this story is, but I do not regret getting that card.

 

[wendyl]

Originally posted by faithinkarma


One year I got fed up trying to find a non-mushy one, so I just bit the bullet and got her a sentimental one. Imagine my shock, the next time I visited to see that she had framed it.

Cut ahead 5 years.....my mother passed away. My sisters are cleaning out her room. They find this framed card. They decide the words are perfect and one of them decides to read it at her funeral.

I'm not sure what the moral of this story is, but I do not regret getting that card.

That is a really great story, faithinkarma!!!!