Mother of the Year here!

[Dakota_Lynn]

I remember watching Student Bodies with my mom when I was about 9 and there was a scene where "stuff" comes out of the phone. I asked my mom what it was and she said I didn't need to know. The next day on the bus a boy was laughing and talking about that very part. So...I learned right then what it was. So, I know where you all are coming from.

Now I'm really curious; what came out of the darned phone? I never saw the movie!

 

[Mulan'sMom]

Thought I'd lighten things up a little...

When "The Exorcist" was in its first run in the theaters, my parents took my 10-year-old brother to see it. We all,with the excpetion of my Dad, love horror movies - Chiller Theater was a regular Saturday night event in our house. Anyway, my Mom is a nurse, and used to work the 7-3 shift in a local hospital. She had to get up at the crack of dawn to be there on time - my Dad got to sleep a little later. So the day after seeing The Exorcist, her alarm goes off and she steps out of bed - and right onto my brother. He had gotten scared during the night and dragged his pillow and blanket into my parents' room to sleep next to their bed. He screamed, my Mom, who hadn't even turned the light on yet, screamed, and woke up my father, who jumped out of bed and screamed. My Dad always slept in the nude, so now you have the "graphic sexual detail" element added to the bad parenting scenario as he jumped around in the buff. It was quite a scene in there for awhile until things calmed down a little, and is still a staple of family get-together lore.

 

[mickeyboat]

I appreciate everyone's views so far. I'm glad that we've made it this far and not gotten locked. I know sometimes people like to call names and get a little snotty and thankfully everyone has been pretty respectful so far. I know many of you disagree with what I did and I understand that. I did make this post in jest at something foolish that I did. Not to brag. I will definately read more reviews next time. And for the record, I do not feel I am Mother of the Year. That was definately sarcasm.

Although I am one of the people who disagrees with what you did, I am impressed with how you are handling the criticism. Good for you!

Denae

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

No, I haven't talked to the other mother. She is actually a little more lenient than I am. I had no doubt that she would mind, but had her daughter ask, just in case. As for my own daughter, I have asked her how she felt watching the movie. She told me that she probably would have rather seen something else, but doesn't feel scarred or that I'm a bad mom for taking her. One thing that I did take from this discussion is about her talking to other kids about it. I told her not to go to school bragging about what she saw. She told me not to worry she had no plans to. Now whether she does or not is another thing. I remember watching Student Bodies with my mom when I was about 9 and there was a scene where "stuff" comes out of the phone. I asked my mom what it was and she said I didn't need to know. The next day on the bus a boy was laughing and talking about that very part. So...I learned right then what it was. So, I know where you all are coming from.

Someone asked at what age she learned to love these movies. I honestly don't know with her. I do remember my oldest DD watching Child's Play when she was about 4. I kept telling her to go back into the other room. She didn't want to and actually laughed at the movie. She has loved scary movies since then. This is the same child that is very into her church youth group too. If it makes anyone feel better, she also said that she doesn't want to see Hostel now that she knows how much nudity and sex is in it. After she got mad at me for taking her sister and not waiting to take her too. Now, DD5, she won't even go into Blockbuster anymore because they had a poster of Chucky. DD13 loves that movie and was watching it once when DD5 walked in. She is litterally terrified of his image. I respect that, and I do not watch anything that I think will scare her if she is in the room. She always asks if I'm watching something funny or scary and I tell her. She will either ask me to stop watching it or go back to play in her room.

I appreciate everyone's views so far. I'm glad that we've made it this far and not gotten locked. I know sometimes people like to call names and get a little snotty and thankfully everyone has been pretty respectful so far. I know many of you disagree with what I did and I understand that. I did make this post in jest at something foolish that I did. Not to brag. I will definately read more reviews next time. And for the record, I do not feel I am Mother of the Year. That was definately sarcasm.

Good post GoofieRuthie!

 

[Mariposa]

Well, my mother let me watch (or watched in my presence) any and every horror movie around. I'm guessing this started when I was an infant. By the time I was the OP's daughter's age I'd seen The Exorcist, The Omen, Poltergeist, countless slasher type films (Friday the 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, etc...). Outside of my occassional need to wear a hockey mask and hunt down co-eds, I'd say I'm just fine.

Seriously, people, it's a movie.. and the kid's 11. Not 4. I'm not saying it's not a good idea to keep an eye on what your children listen to and watch, I'm just saying that the situation can be a LOT worse than the one the OP's getting whipped over.

 

[Planogirl]

GoofieRuthie, you have a marvelous attitude! I noticed too that the flaming stopped for the most part and now there's an actual discussion going on. Maybe your "thick skin" is the perfect way to handle these things.

So how scary was Hostel anyway?

 

[cardaway]

I've noticed with my 8yo niece that it's not as much the scary, horror elements, as it is the "hero" being in jeopardy. In "Goblet of Fire" (eek - PG13 ) she was fine with the dragons being scary, thought they were cool. When Harry was getting chased, she looked like it was her that was being chased.

I have a feeling many kids would be able to handle most of R rated scary movie content. If my niece is a good example, it's the element of extended danger that would cause a problem. In other words, not the rating, but the subject matter and intensity.

 

[GoofieRuthie]

Now I'm really curious; what came out of the darned phone? I never saw the movie!

haha!! Well, let's just say it was man stuff. The funny part about that is that our tv's color was a little off so it was bluish looking. So, for years, I honestly thought it was bluish. Even worse! That's something I remember telling my friends about. Ok, I'll stop there before it becomes too inappropriate for this board.

Mulan'sMom Thanks for that laugh!!! I will share my award with your parents now.

MariposaI too watched all of those movies by the time I was 11. I remember when they used to show scary movies every weekend. It was a weekly ritual for my mom and I to watch. It was just she and I growing up, so that is one of my fondest memories. I also remember watching HBO back then. I have one particular memory but can't remember what the movie was. I asked my mom a few very embarassing questions about what was going on. I won't go into detail, again, it's a family board. It did however, keep the lines of communication open between us. I was always able to ask my mom about delicate subjects and she would answer them as best she could. I guess that's where I get my parenting now. I'm the same way with my girls. I might get embarassed about what they see or ask me, but I always answer them.

Planogirl GoofieRuthie, you have a marvelous attitude! I noticed too that the flaming stopped for the most part and now there's an actual discussion going on. Maybe your "thick skin" is the perfect way to handle these things. So how scary was Hostel anyway?

Thank you! And no, to me, Hostel was not scary at all. Yes, I cringed ALOT, but it didn't scare me at all. Of course, I didn't think Blair Witch was either, and most of my friends were terrified.

Thanks to everyone else that has commended me for how I've handled the critisism. I have honestly enjoyed this thread. I truly did feel bad for taking her to see the movie. So, I guess I needed the verbal kick in the butt. Call me a glutton for punishment.

 

[dis ms.]

GoofieRuthie,

If you keep being so mature and thoughtful in your responses, how are we supposed to flame you?

A parenting discussion without mud-slinging? Where's the fun in that? Geez!

 

[GoofieRuthie]

haha! Ok, here, I'll add some fuel to the fire. The movie the two girls were watching before we went to the movies was Harold and Kumar go to White Castle! When they asked if they could watch it, I said, I guess, but I didn't think that they would GET it. They asked why, and I asked if they had ever smoked pot. They looked at me like I had three heads and exclaimed, NO! I told them to go ahead and watch it then. So there! Oh yeah, here's how even more sick and twisted I am. They asked if they could watch 40 year old virgin. I told them no since it was the extremely uncut version. HA! Instead, I take them to see soft porn. Gee, I'm one sick individual.


Please don't flame me. Waah!!!

 

[Boston Tea Party]

Fact: Most people will have sexual relationships.

Fact: Most people will not murder or dismember another human.


I don't understand. How can sex trouble you but the other does not? When people view these things they are becoming desensitized to them. It DOES matter what people - especially impressionable YOUNG CHILDREN - see! I don't understand why people can't realize this.

BTW, I find your cavalier attitude disturbing. JMHO

 

[Lanshark]

I wonder if the other parents find as much humor in this situation as you do.

 

[txgirl]

Fact: Most people will have sexual relationships.

Fact: Most people will not murder or dismember another human.


I don't understand. How can sex trouble you but the other does not? When people view these things they are becoming desensitized to them. It DOES matter what people - especially impressionable YOUNG CHILDREN - see! I don't understand why people can't realize this.

BTW, I find your cavalier attitude disturbing. JMHO

I had this same thought. I don't understand how people make reference to how "we all make mistakes" in the same context as a child watching sex being simulated to point that it almost received an NC-17 rating.

Off-topic a bit but I have been so confused about why any parent would think it would be okay for a child to watch people having sex. The fact that they aren't having sex (it's just acting )is beside the point. They look very much like they are and when you take the sound effects, the nudity and the fact that they are plastered across an enormous screen I can't really see the difference between that and taking a child to a strip club (which, btw is illegal )

The whole "overreacting" accusation is so bizarre to me. I understand where the OP is coming from *but* most of the continuing posts have been spurred on by the opinions of "who cares, no big deal" crowd.

 

[dis ms.]

The whole "overreacting" accusation is so bizarre to me. I understand where the OP is coming from *but* most of the continuing posts have been spurred on by the opinions of "who cares, no big deal" crowd.

If you're referring to my most recent posts, I was not implying that this is no big deal. In fact, I think it is a big deal. As others have said, children grow up too fast as it is without being subjected to graphic sex and/or violence. Would I have made the decisions the OP made regarding the movie? No. Would I have posted here about it if I had? Heck no.

I merely was commending the OP for not whining about being flamed.

 

[ElizK]

In case you, or anyone else, are iterested, there is a web site I use to review most movies before we take the kids to see them. It's www.pluggedinonline.com

It breaks down every element (positive, negative, drug/alcohol use, sex, religion, etc) in the movie, with spoilers if necessary. You can use the info given as you see fit. I've found this to be very helpful.

While I have to say that I disagree with your choice of entertainment for the kids, I have the utmost respect for the way you've handled the critisism here.

 

[txgirl]

If you're referring to my most recent posts, I was not implying that this is no big deal. In fact, I think it is a big deal. As others have said, children grow up too fast as it is without being subjected to graphic sex and/or violence. Would I have made the decisions the OP made regarding the movie? No. Would I have posted here about it if I had? Heck no.

I merely was commending the OP for not whining about being flamed.

Nope, not referring to yours and I couldn't agree more about the great attitude of the OP.

I have been more disturbed by how many other parents think its not a big deal. The OP has made her regret clear.

 

[va32h]

I think it is appalling that any parent would show a child images of graphic sex and violence, and I'm not going to apologize for that, or qualify that. It's not just "wrong for me", it's just plain wrong.

Where does this moral relativism stop? If the graphic violence in "Hostel" is okay, is a snuff film okay? Are the videotapes made by serial killers like Paul Bernardino and Karla Homolka okay for family viewing? One is real, one is fake, and the kid is supposed to know that -- how? By instinct? Because they are well versed in the special effects industry? Because mom said so?

When a visual image is terrifying, does an offhand "oh it's not real", suddenly make it all better?

What is the difference between a child watching realistically simulated sex and watching actual sex? Just knowing that the sex is fake somehow makes it okay? And once again, all children just instinctively know that sex scenes in movies are faked?

Yeah, yeah I know - I don't have the right to judge, blah blah blah. Fine. No one can judge anyone, and as long as the child is enjoying themselves, parents can do whatever the heck they want.

 

[Brier Rose]

CANNOT believe I'm about to post something this personal, but this just keeps bothering me, so here goes.

While there are A LOT of kids I'm sure that would not be "damaged" due to watching movies like this, I know from personal experience that sometimes that is not always the case.

When I was about 5 years old my Grandmother forced me to watch Salem's Lot. She was the type that loved anything spooky, and we had fun watching the old vampire soap Dark Shadows together, so she thought I would just love this movie.

That started the sleeping problems. Then as I got a little older I would watch other gory horror movies. My parents never cared what we were watching, and for some reason I felt compelled to watch them.The more I watched, the more my mind obsessed on everything morbid. I never would have imagined on my own the horrible things that could be done to another person, and it was all I could think about..torture and murder.

At 11 years old, my sister and I were alone in the bedroom of our house watching a scary movie. We had the door closed. My goofy Grandmother thought it would be funny to sneak over and try to scare us by making noises outside the door. I got my dad's gun that was under the bed, and almost shot her. You would think that would've put an end to the scary movie watching, but it didn't.

I just watched more and more, and I started having more and more problems. Couldn't sleep, always thinking about all of the horrible ways somebody could die, or ways somebody could torture me. I started losing lots of weight, and my mother took me to a doctor. He suggested then that I may need therepy, but she didn't believe it.

I did finally get help on my own once I was grown. I had gotten pretty good at controling it on my own by making sure I don't watch ANY movie that has those kind of things in it. It has caused some problems since my children have been born. Now instead of being fixated on all the horrible things that could happen to me, I obsess on things that could be done to them. I'm working through it.

I would NEVER let my kids watch those kind of movies because of my experience. Was I just an unstable over sensitive child..mabe?? But I do remember that exact night when I was 5 years old watching Salem's Lot, and how it was blazed in my mind forever. It truly changed me.

My kids wouldn't begin to imagine that someone would drill into somebody, or cut someones toes off one by one, or any other sick thing these movies have in them. I intend to keep it that way for as long as I can.

 

[dis ms.]

Brier Rose's post is a perfect example of why kids should not be watching these types of movies. Is her reaction and experience typical? Probably not. Still, just knowing it could effect a child the way it did her is reason enough for me to keep my children from seeing these films at a young age.

Brier Rose, thank you for sharing something so personal. That couldn't have been easy.

 

[LisaNJ25]

LOL, NMamy, that reminds me of a story that my mom always tells. She had decided to take me to a drive in movie, Flash Gordon. I'm not sure how old I was, but under 5, I think. Turns out the movie was FLESH Gordon! My mom spent the entire time trying to get me to lie down and go to sleep. I kept popping up asking, "what is going on, mommy?" I don't remember a bit of it to this day, so no harm done, I guess.

LOLOLOL That is priceless