Mother of the Groom dresses> opinions?

[Aisling]

My son is getting married next July. It's a formal evening wedding. The Mass will be in Catholic church. I want to buy this dress for the church and change into the next gown for the reception. My sons says the gown will make me look like an Easter egg, but he says go with it if it's what I want.

What do you think?

Both dresses would flatter my shape.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

The second dress is cool, but may be more "wild" looking in person. I think it is perfect for the reception.

The first dress--I like the cut, but I am not sure on the color. It can either look really nice or like an Easter egg.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

I am really afraid to answer this honestly.

But you asked?

So, as a wedding professional, here is my opinion:

The first dress is fantastic, however, I would give the bride the option of choosing color. As a courtesy.

The second I would absolutely not wear. The dress screams attention, and it shouldn't be on you. The couple should be the center of attention all night, and that dress would certainly still at least some of it.

 

[Nolcrest]

I'm a mother of the groom too, with a September wedding. I've been looking at dresses online myself.

Personally, I don't care for the gown for a mother but that is just me and my kids don't think I have any taste anyway. I am also only buying one dress and will wear it to both church & reception. I wouldn't want to wear anything that may take attention away from the bride. (in my case that would never happen anyway)

Have fun dress shopping.

 

[JessicaR]

First dress is conservative and pale in color. Maybe see what the colors are for the wedding first - still love that dress!

For me, personally, the second dress is well, just NO.

 

[Bonnie40]

I am really afraid to answer this honestly.

But you asked?

So, as a wedding professional, here is my opinion:

The first dress is fantastic, however, I would give the bride the option of choosing color. As a courtesy.

The second I would absolutely not wear. The dress screams attention, and it shouldn't be on you. The couple should be the center of attention all night, and that dress would certainly still at least some of it.

I didn't want to be the first to post.....

IMO, that reception dress is not appropriate all...

What does your future daughter-in-law think? I would be asking her opinion....

 

[Southernmiss]

I didn't want to be the first to post.....

IMO, that reception dress is not appropriate all...

What does your future daughter-in-law think? I would be asking her opinion....

I am really afraid to answer this honestly.

But you asked?

So, as a wedding professional, here is my opinion:

The first dress is fantastic, however, I would give the bride the option of choosing color. As a courtesy.

The second I would absolutely not wear. The dress screams attention, and it shouldn't be on you. The couple should be the center of attention all night, and that dress would certainly still at least some of it.

Both of these MTE.

 

[Hannathy]

I think the first would be very uncomfortable to sit in a hot church in July. But it is a pretty dress if it goes with the bride.

I don't like the 2nd dress at all! It is too flamboyant and over the top and it is a very young dress! Unless you had your son at 12 I think it is too young for a Mother of the groom. and to "I'm the center of attention, look at me!"

You do realize that as mother of the groom you get to pick last? What color are the bridesmaids? and what color is the Mother of the bride wearing?

As my sister said when her son got married last year, I'm the mother of the groom, my job is to wear beige and keep my mouth shut. She didn't wear beige but she picked hers AFTER the Mother of the bride and after consulting with the bride.

Of course your son said wear what you want! he doesn't want to tell you no Or even have to think about dresses. But he better learn to say talk to ____(the bride) or he is going to have a lot of earfuls coming his way before next summer.

 

[4nana]

The first dress is classy and beautiful, but I agree, you need to ck with DIL to see if it coordinates with wedding party colors, MIL's, etc. for photos and such.

The second dress - yikes - I'm not of your generation - but sorry IMO looks more like a party dress rather than mother of the son's evening wedding recp.

I bought 2 dresses for our son's wedding and let him & DIL choose which. He chose a plain solid blue one over the print one, it was also similar color to MIL's, as he didn't want me to look like a curtain!

 

[smitch425]

you should wait until the mother-of-the-bride chooses her gown and then pick yours. If she chooses a floor length gown then you should also. She also gets first choice of dress color.
As for your possible reception dress, my opinion is that if your son is old enough to be getting married, then you are too old to wear that dress. "Shape" aside, that dress is a serious show stopper and if I were the bride (or the groom for that matter), I would be mortified that my parent chose something so loud and flashy on my special day. That said, it would be an awesome dress for a formal dinner on a cruise or something where others of a similar age group were equally as glamorous. Assuming that you will be surrounded by several younger people at the wedding reception, I don't think it is appropriate. Again, though... this is just my personal opinion. Kudos to you though for having the body to even consider it. Congrats on the upcoming wedding. I'm sure whatever you choose to wear will look stunning.

 

[ilovepcot]

you should wait until the mother-of-the-bride chooses her gown and then pick yours. If she chooses a floor length gown then you should also. She also gets first choice of dress color.
As for your possible reception dress, my opinion is that if your son is old enough to be getting married, then you are too old to wear that dress. "Shape" aside, that dress is a serious show stopper and if I were the bride (or the groom for that matter), I would be mortified that my parent chose something so loud and flashy on my special day. That said, it would be an awesome dress for a formal dinner on a cruise or something where others of a similar age group were equally as glamorous. Assuming that you will be surrounded by several younger people at the wedding reception, I don't think it is appropriate. Again, though... this is just my personal opinion. Kudos to you though for having the body to even consider it. Congrats on the upcoming wedding. I'm sure whatever you choose to wear will look stunning.

Thank you for typing out exactly what my thoughts are!

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Here is an opinion from a recent bride.

LOVE the first dress. Very classy. I'd recommend asking the bride if she has a color preference. (I was VERY easy going and my request to my MIL was to wear whatever she wanted. She is not flashy at all, so I knew whatever she chose was fine.) The color of that one is a bit close to white, and the bride may prefer you wear a different shade.

The second dress, I would honestly be aghast if the mother of the groom wore that dress. The dress SCREAMS "look at me!!!!!!" both in pattern, cut and shape. To be honest, I also have not ever seen a mother of the bride or mother of the groom wear a strapless dress without a bolero or jacket either. If my MIL walked in wearing that I would think she was trying to upstage me and the bridesmaids.

Why do you feel that you need two dresses, if I may ask. I have heard of brides doing that--and I think that is over the top. I've never heard of a mother doing a wardrobe change.

 

[cbg1027]

I am really afraid to answer this honestly.

But you asked?

So, as a wedding professional, here is my opinion:

The first dress is fantastic, however, I would give the bride the option of choosing color. As a courtesy.

The second I would absolutely not wear. The dress screams attention, and it shouldn't be on you. The couple should be the center of attention all night, and that dress would certainly still at least some of it.

I completely agree. The first dress is lovely for a mother of the groom. But the second one is inappropriate - way too flashy. It looks like something a celebrity known for daring fashion choices would wear to the Oscars. Not something a 'normal' person wears to a formal wedding. I would be offended and horrified if my future mother in law showed up to my wedding in that gown.

What's wrong with the wearing the first dress to the ceremony and reception?

 

[scrapquitler]

Here is an opinion from a recent bride.

LOVE the first dress. Very classy. I'd recommend asking the bride if she has a color preference. (I was VERY easy going and my request to my MIL was to wear whatever she wanted. She is not flashy at all, so I knew whatever she chose was fine.) The color of that one is a bit close to white, and the bride may prefer you wear a different shade.

The second dress, I would honestly be aghast if the mother of the groom wore that dress. The dress SCREAMS "look at me!!!!!!" both in pattern, cut and shape. To be honest, I also have not ever seen a mother of the bride or mother of the groom wear a strapless dress without a bolero or jacket either. If my MIL walked in wearing that I would think she was trying to upstage me and the bridesmaids.

Why do you feel that you need two dresses, if I may ask. I have heard of brides doing that--and I think that is over the top. I've never heard of a mother doing a wardrobe change.

I agree with all of the above.

I think the first dress is very nice, and classy. Like everyone else said, check with the bride first regarding color.

Dress #2, is way too much over the top. The Mother Of The Groom is NOT supposed to get all the attention, and in this dress, you will. Not a good plan.

 

[Aisling]

The second dress is cool, but may be more "wild" looking in person. I think it is perfect for the reception.

The first dress--I like the cut, but I am not sure on the color. It can either look really nice or like an Easter egg.

It's the second dress, the colorful gown, that he says will make me look like an Easter egg, not the first.


I greatly appreciate the honesty.

My idea was to wear something elegant and conservative to the church, which will be air conditioned, so heat won't be a problem.

Then for the reception, I'm thinking partay! And that colorful gown is so me. I'm 47, and if you girls say it's too young for me, I'll take your advice. And you say it's too flashy, like I may be the center of attention. Lord no, I don't want to do that to my future-daughter-in-law. I'm just afraid of looking "matronly". The brides mom is 65 and will be wearing the same burgandy (spelling) gown with a jacket to both the church and reception.

I just thought to be elegant for the church and partyish for the reception, but like someone said, even though I have the figure for it, I don't want to look like a fool at my age. Hmmm. It's hard to think of myself as an "older woman".

I've just always loved those elegant knee-length suit dresses that some women wear to weddings, but I know I don't want to party in that dress, as pretty as it is.

As for the color, it's a light pink, the bride is wearing white, the bridesmaids are wearing teal.

I don't know know what to do. I guess it's back to the drawing board.

Oh, and I didn't show the colorful gown to FDIL yet. I'm not sure what she'll say, but I have a feeling her mother will have a cow over it. So I guess the decision is not to buy it.However, FDIL loves the suit dress but would prefer I wear a gown to the reception since I'm the mother of the groom. I see I must discuss color with her.

Boy I'm so disappointed. I really thought I could pull this off. But I guess not.

Thanks you guys!

 

[LisaR]

It's the second dress, the colorful gown, that he says will make me look like an Easter egg, not the first.


I greatly appreciate the honesty.

My idea was to wear something elegant and conservative to the church, which will be air conditioned, so heat won't be a problem.

Then for the reception, I'm thinking partay! And that colorful gown is so me. I'm 47, and if you girls say it's too young for me, I'll take your advice. And you say it's too flashy, like I may be the center of attention. Lord no, I don't want to do that to my future-daughter-in-law. I'm just afraid of looking "matronly". The brides mom is 65 and will be wearing the same burgandy (spelling) gown with a jacket to both the church and reception.

I just thought to be elegant for the church and partyish for the reception, but like someone said, even though I have the figure for it, I don't want to look like a fool at my age. Hmmm. It's hard to think of myself as an "older woman".

I've just always loved those elegant knee-length suit dresses that some women wear to weddings, but I know I don't want to party in that dress, as pretty as it is.

As for the color, it's a light pink, the bride is wearing white, the bridesmaids are wearing teal.

I don't know know what to do. I guess it's back to the drawing board.

Oh, and I didn't show the colorful gown to FDIL yet. I'm not sure what she'll say, but I have a feeling her mother will have a cow over it. So I guess the decision is not to buy it.However, FDIL loves the suit dress but would prefer I wear a gown to the reception since I'm the mother of the groom. I see I must discuss color with her.

Boy I'm so disappointed. I really thought I could pull this off. But I guess not.

Thanks you guys!

Isn't that the norm for the mother of both the bride and groom to wear the same dress to both the church and reception? Changing into a "Partay" dress just screams attention no matter what the dress looks like, IMO.

 

[Aisling]

Would you mind if I use this thread for further questions about my preparations for the wedding. I'd be very happy for other mothers of the brides/grooms to share, too. And also brides and everyone else. So this won't be MY thread, but maybe a wedding thread that can stay here on the CB? If it gets moved to the wedding board, I'm afraid I'm get responses exclusively from brides with no moms contributing. (Athough I'd love advice from anyone who'll give it. This is my first child getting married. He's 26.)

 

[LBIJim]

Even the model looks like crap in that second dress. Too puffy at the bust; what's with that cinched-in area below the butt?

You'd definitely get attention wearing that.......but not the kind you want.

 

[Aisling]

Isn't that the norm for the mother of both the bride and groom to wear the same dress to both the church and reception? Changing into a "Partay" dress just screams attention no matter what the dress looks like, IMO.

Yes, it is the norm. Unfortunately or fortunately, I'm an out-of-the-box kind woman, but I'm seeing I have to change my ways for this wedding. I don't want to scream attention, I just want to look good and youngish. I think the age difference between the mother of the bride and myself (over 15 years) is scaring me as far as matching dresses. My mother (the grooms grandmother is only a couple of years older than her, and I don't want to look like a grandma at my son's wedding. I'm glad I have 7 months to figure something out that eill make everyone happy.

 

[Hannathy]

You are being a good sport!

It is hard to hear what you have heard and stay civil. You will do fine as the Mother of the groom.

If the girls are in teal and the M of the bride is in burgundy then the dress you picked for the reception would work color wise. Why don't you check the designer of that dress and see if they used that fabric in a bit more toned down dress? My Sister wore a strapless dress to her sons wedding but it was a simpler cut but it did have crystals on the bodice and wasn't matronly! She is older than you but has never been matronly. You don't need to go all the way to the extreme of matronly jacket dress like the Queen of England would wear but you don't want something straight off the red carpet or a runway either.

At least you have time. and you also get to buy a dress for the rehearsal dinner! And that is the one occasion YOU get to pick first.