More teen drama....WWYD?

[tammymacb]

The timing of just coming back from the father's house struck me too, especially when the OP said that she always come home a little "different". That alone would be a red flag for me, but add to that the DD and Jane's strange behavior I would probably be worried about a lot more than Girl Drama. I am usually not one to jump on the conspiracy theory band wagon but I think *something* went on at the dad's house and that *something* was shared with Jane. It could be sex, drugs, alcohol or maybe (I hate to even type it) abuse. Tammy, I would keep a watchful eye on your DD and look for other signs that something may have happened over the summer {{hugs}}.

I can tell you I know she made a bunch of new friends this summer and a new boyfriend, too.

Beyond that, I'm thinking she's still a pretty good kid. Sex, drugs, that stuff would shock me.

When I say "different" and she always is when she gets home, I'm kind of saying "conflicted". Her father and I divorced when she was a baby. She doesn't even remember living with him. He's much older than me, and has a lot more money. He also lives a lifestyle that isn't terrible kid friendly.

He's had several girlfriends, been married/divorced/moved back with ex wife. He's a gambler, smoker...blah blah. But, he loves her and she loves to visit every summer and hang out with my ex, his oldest DD ( who is almost my age and has kids her age )

I remarried when she was almost 4. My DH has basically ( with the exception of the weeks in the summer ) raised her. DH and I have been together since she 2 so he's all she remembers.

But, every summer when she gets home, she's hateful to my ex...goes into the "I want to go live with Dad" mode, and shuts out her friends up here and only pays attention to the ones in NY....whoa is me, all my friends are so far away.

Every year, it winds down, things settle out, and we ( dh and I ) dread starting over again in the late summer.

That's why I did't take much seriously in the beginning and spoke to Jane, telling her I was sure things would straighten out and of course she was still welcome to join us. This miserable little blip in life is normal. It just hasn't resolved this year.

 

[robinb]

Thanks for the explanation . I'm glad that your DD looks forward to seeing your Ex ... it's too bad that she feels so conflicted when she comes home. That must be pretty hard on her (and you!) to go through that roller coaster every year. I wouldn't totally discount something happening with the BF, though. 14 seems pretty young to have a BF but my DD is only 11 so what do I know?

I would suggest that you change your plans to just be the 3 of you. Not to punish your DD or to show her who's boss, but just to avoid any more teen conflict and drama. If there is a chance that your DD and Jane will still be friends then I can't see anything good coming out of inviting someone else in Jane's place. It would be bad enough not to go, but to have a new BFF take your place so easily would be the final straw for their friendship.