Money spending - 3rd grade UPDATE on first post

[mom23boys]

Call the school and ask if scholarships are available for the field trip? The schools around here always have that on the permission slips for those who can't afford it.

Best wishes to you and your family!

I agree with this, I am President of our Home and School and we budget yearly for Student Assistance. The school lets us know how much they need for a class trip and we send a check it is confidential.

I hope things get better for you and your family.

 

[Teacher03]

I don't think you are being insensitive. Do you have a rapport with the teacher that you could call and explain? I would bet that you wouldn't be the only parent with concerns. I'm a teacher and taught 3rd grade for several years. There are many other ways this lesson could be taught using real life experiences that are not so personal.

I hope your financial situation improves. It's still so tough for so many families.

 

[hambirg]

Well, I DO think it's completely inappropriate, and I used to teach. I don't think the teacher meant any harm by it, but frankly most of those things are nobody elses business.

I'm running late for football, so I'll add more later.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

I also think it is inappropriate, and this could be taught in other ways.

Another example of a teacher not thinking things through - I used to work for a Children's Aid Society. Many kids involved with the organization were in foster care. They hated it when the teacher assigned them to make a "family tree." Some were in the process of being adopted, some hadn't seen their birth parents for months (for legal/abuse reasons), some didn't know who their fathers were, etc. It's very hurtful when teachers assume that all kids are from "standard" families.

Teresa

 

[momxx5]

I found out that this is a whole 3rd grade assignment.

My teenage boys saw it and cannot believe that this is for 8yr olds. Third grader showed boys her "interview questions".
DS says its wrong on a bunch of levels.....kids comparing allowances; who eats out due to laziness, who does not eat out because of money or because health concious; school supplies: who has fancy binder, etc.
He says that the little of good that could become of it pales to what other problems could be.

The other factor is family size....IF we were to eat out, family of 7, it would cost twice as much as average family, etc.
DS "Do you include tip?" haha

The assignment states it is an Economy Unit with info used in social studies, language arts, technology and math.

I think I'll go talk to the teacher tomorrow. I cannot be the only one who is concerned about it.
I will try really hard not to cry when I explain why this would be hard for some people.

I agree no harm was intended but a lack of judgement.

The ideas/concepts learned could be done using other methods...The Jones family with 2 children, play soccer, one parent works, and have a dog.

A HUGE thank you to all that understand our situation and offered solutions.

We are truly blessed in all the right ways.......5 healthy, smart, happy, kind children

 

[sk!mom]

First of all, I'm so sorry for your families struggles and pray that things improve soon.

Second, I'm a 3rd grade teacher and this is a ridiculously intrusive assignment. I can tell you that my DH would send it back with a note telling the teacher that we would not be answering personal financial questions. If the teacher made an issue, he would take it over her head.

We had no problem discussing financial issues/money/spending with our children but it's none of the teacher's business.

 

[disney*mom*82]

I hope your talk with the teacher brings satisfaction to you. I too agree that it is a little personal. It would be much better if they were looking for some numbers to crunch, they found them elsewhere.
I too am sorry to hear about your situation. We have been in similar situations and it is never easy. I hope things continue to look up for you and your family. There are many places Im sure that you could seek financial assistance, atleast until you get back on your feet with DHs new job. I know it is hard to ask for help.
If the teacher says that the assignment must be done, I say just ask another family members the questions, make something up-maybe what it was like for you a year ago or what you hope it is in a year from now. Ide be happy to help you with some numbers if needed.

 

[richmond282]

I too, see how this could be a little touchy. I'd talk to the teacher and then just make up some numbers if need be.

 

[C.Ann]

I think you're oversensitive. The assignment has nothing to do with you, personally.

Asking for personal financial information is definitely "personal"..

First of all, I'm so sorry for your families struggles and pray that things improve soon.

Second, I'm a 3rd grade teacher and this is a ridiculously intrusive assignment. I can tell you that my DH would send it back with a note telling the teacher that we would not be answering personal financial questions. If the teacher made an issue, he would take it over her head.

We had no problem discussing financial issues/money/spending with our children but it's none of the teacher's business.

I'm happy to see that a 3rd grade teacher also views this as a ridiculously intrusive assignment..

There are other methods to teach the same concepts - without requesting personal information..

OP: I hope things start looking up for you real soon..

 

[aprilfoolwed]

i agree with those who said interview someone else. While I don't think that the assignment is inappropriate, I do think that you shouldn't be forced to give your children this information. You don't want to worry your own children.

Also, I wanted to mention a program that exists in our school district called the Angel Network. It's run by the PTO at each school, but they do work with each other if need be. Basically, it's set up for those who have something to give to give to those who are in need.

The way it works is guidance counselors alert the chairperson of the AN that there is a need - it may be school supplies, field trip money, winter coat, food for the weekend, etc - basically anything that is truly a need. The chairperson only knows that there is a need - not any names. Some info may be given, such as "there is a need for a boys' size 7 winter coat" but no names.

The chairperson then calls through a list of volunteers - people sign up to receive Angel network calls when needed - and are asked it they can help. if it's not a good time, or a request you are not able to provide, you just say no and they move on to the next person.

It seems to work well, and is run by volunteers. It seems like it could be a helpful thing for other districts.

 

[Costumesaremylife]

I think you should have "interviewed" a fictional character. Come up with the budget of a family from tv or a book.

 

[DawnM]

If the point of the assignment is math and numbers then honestly, I think you are fine in using numbers from two years ago and just plugging those numbers in.

The teacher is not looking for your personal money woes right now and really is not trying to stress you out, she is just trying to make the math more meaningful.

When I assign a writing assigment I don't care if the student makes up a fictional story of what happened to him/her as long as they follow the point of the writing, which is to relay a plausable story. How would I know if the story is made up or not?

Dawn

 

[Vijoge]

I do think you're personalizing this assignment due to your current situation, but I'm not saying you're wrong. I can still rememer the humiliation of writing "unemployed" on an information card in 7th grade. I was mortified to have to admit my step-father didn't have a job at the time.

I have also seen the look on the faces of my children when they were required to do the whole family tree thing, complete with questions about which family member/ancestor they most resemble, etc. My kids were all adopted, as was I, and they have no idea who they resemble. I just found out a few years ago that I am a dead ringer for my father's great great aunt. When I saw the picture it was like looking in a mirror, but I digress.

I say either interview another family member or make something up. And don't feel guilty about doing so (or about this years circumstances, either ).

 

[OceanAnnie]

I know I'm in the minority here but I don't think you're being sensitive about it. I wouldn't want my child sharing with the class our financial details. Nor do I think classmates should be provoked into talking to each other about how much allowence they make. It can cause peer issues. The teacher may not have thought about these issues, and that money is a very sensitive issue for many families. I would just call her and let her know your concern with out going into great detail. DD did a similar math problem but instead of money they did percentages on eye color, family size, pet number.

Well, I DO think it's completely inappropriate, and I used to teach. I don't think the teacher meant any harm by it, but frankly most of those things are nobody elses business.

I'm running late for football, so I'll add more later.

I also think it is inappropriate, and this could be taught in other ways.

Another example of a teacher not thinking things through - I used to work for a Children's Aid Society. Many kids involved with the organization were in foster care. They hated it when the teacher assigned them to make a "family tree." Some were in the process of being adopted, some hadn't seen their birth parents for months (for legal/abuse reasons), some didn't know who their fathers were, etc. It's very hurtful when teachers assume that all kids are from "standard" families.

Teresa

I agree with the above posters. There are other ways to broach the lesson. It's too intrusive, regardless of family circumstances.

 

[quentina]

I am a bit frustrated today. Not exactly sure how to feel about my 3rd graders homework.

First of all we are struggling with money woes beyond anything that I could ever imagine. DH's job was eliminated due to poor ecomony 17 months ago. He finally started a new job this month....no pay until 30th, and has taken a 75+% pay cut. I have been applying for jobs ever since he lost his job, with part time work heree & there.

This month has been extremely difficult. I had garage sale to buy groceries, Craigslist items, etc. Still not sure how going to pay water bill.

So, the homeworks is to "interview a family member" for their MONEY unit starting next week.
Question #1. About how much do you spend on groceries per month for your family?
#2. About how many miles do you drive back & forth to work?
#3. About how much do you spend on gas for travel per week?
#4. About how much do you spend on school supplies for your child(ren)?
#5. About how much do you spend eating at fast food or restaurants during the week?
#6. Does your child earn allowance for the week or month? If yes, do they save their money?

So.....we are a family of 7, DH & I with 5 kids.

1. Well I said we had a garage sale and rolled our all change to buy groceries.
2. We can answer now, but what a nice reminder that "Mommy and Daddy did not have jobs!!
3. Again, I have been scraping money for gas....used $10 per day for last 3 days because I do not have enough each day to fill tank.
4. With 5 children and not a lot of money.... nice reminder again of how much we are going without....I bought the min. and thankfully had stuff left over from last year.
5. Eat out........hahaha that hasn't happened for months.
6. Sorry no allowance (I actually have borrowed money from my boys birthday money).

I know this is a school learning moment about Money, but in these times, in our county high of unemployment, it is really sad that this is school assignment.
Could they not have used a ficticious family to do the unit.
I certainly cannot answer these questions as I wish to........DD knows the truth.
Sadly she came home with info about a field trip and asked if $15 was too much and she might not be able to go. "No honey, mommy will take care of it".

Does anyone else feel that this is just not the right time for such "interviews" and info for school assignments?

Contact the PTO to pay for the field trip, they should do it without a problem. I was the PTO treasurer for years, we never allowed a child to miss a trip due to financial difficulties.

I also have a personal "school" story. I got my daughter when she was 4.5. She was in foster care and no one has any young photo's of her. In first grade, the school project was to provide your birth photo, 1 year, 2 year etc....keep in mind, the kids were 6 at the time so, we had one photo. They were going to take the photo's and line the hall for meet the teacher night. I was horrified that my daughter couldn't do the project! Called the teacher and explained the problem (nicely). She said that she never even realized that this may be an issue with some kids, would be more aware and she modified the project so my daughter would not be left out.

 

[pearlieq]

I am sure the "rich" families would likely feel just as unconfrontable giving true numbers.

Agreed. These questions seem kind of odd and a little personal for a school assignment. I'm sure they could teach the same lesson in a less intrusive way.

I hope things get better for you soon, OP.

 

[quentina]

I also think it is inappropriate, and this could be taught in other ways.

Another example of a teacher not thinking things through - I used to work for a Children's Aid Society. Many kids involved with the organization were in foster care. They hated it when the teacher assigned them to make a "family tree." Some were in the process of being adopted, some hadn't seen their birth parents for months (for legal/abuse reasons), some didn't know who their fathers were, etc. It's very hurtful when teachers assume that all kids are from "standard" families.

Teresa

I should have read the entire post... I just posted a personal experience about this!

 

[quentina]

i agree with those who said interview someone else. While I don't think that the assignment is inappropriate, I do think that you shouldn't be forced to give your children this information. You don't want to worry your own children.

Also, I wanted to mention a program that exists in our school district called the Angel Network. It's run by the PTO at each school, but they do work with each other if need be. Basically, it's set up for those who have something to give to give to those who are in need.

The way it works is guidance counselors alert the chairperson of the AN that there is a need - it may be school supplies, field trip money, winter coat, food for the weekend, etc - basically anything that is truly a need. The chairperson only knows that there is a need - not any names. Some info may be given, such as "there is a need for a boys' size 7 winter coat" but no names.

The chairperson then calls through a list of volunteers - people sign up to receive Angel network calls when needed - and are asked it they can help. if it's not a good time, or a request you are not able to provide, you just say no and they move on to the next person.

It seems to work well, and is run by volunteers. It seems like it could be a helpful thing for other districts.

Are you in East Penn? I was the president of the Angel network a few years ago.....asking as I see you are in PA.

 

[dyna]

OH MY what a touchy assignment NEVER EVER would I have felt comfortable with it. I'd be furious. My parents would have been the same as would my entire extended family.

Not sure I'd even be comfortable using a fictious family.

Kind of reminds me of the 2nd grade teacher I had who assigned us all to write the directions to our house said it was important that everyone be able to give directions to house. That I can agree with. The real reason the teacher wanted directions to everyones house was because she also sold World Book encylipidias she spent her Saturday afternoons going knocking on her students doors asking parents to buy. Stressing how important it was for kids to have these books an how much we could learn by reading them not to mention that we could use them for life of course not much was mentioned about the cost of yearly updates etc.

Many yrs later when my DD's was lower grade school my mom got a call from that same teacher she wanted my phone # as she had always like me an liked to stay in touch with some of her students as the reached adulthood so of course mom gave the lady my #.


She called was very interested in what I was doing how many kids I had an ages etc then tried to sell me a brand spanking new set of World Books.

 

[krcit]

OP, if I may make a suggestion? I wouldn't go up and talk to the teacher. I would just send an email short and sweet stating that your family is not comfortable revealing financial info so you will be using a fictional family. That way you aren't put in an uncomfortable situation and revealing info to her that isn't any of her business. I can't imagine that a teacher would have a problem with that. I would also definitely call someone at the school(at my kids school it would be the social worker) and explain about the field trip. Believe me, noone wants a child to miss a field trip.

I hope things calm down for you asap.