Money spending - 3rd grade UPDATE on first post

[tigger813]

OH MY what a touchy assignment NEVER EVER would I have felt comfortable with it. I'd be furious. My parents would have been the same as would my entire extended family.

Not sure I'd even be comfortable using a fictious family.

Kind of reminds me of the 2nd grade teacher I had who assigned us all to write the directions to our house said it was important that everyone be able to give directions to house. That I can agree with. The real reason the teacher wanted directions to everyones house was because she also sold World Book encylipidias she spent her Saturday afternoons going knocking on her students doors asking parents to buy. Stressing how important it was for kids to have these books an how much we could learn by reading them not to mention that we could use them for life of course not much was mentioned about the cost of yearly updates etc.

Many yrs later when my DD's was lower grade school my mom got a call from that same teacher she wanted my phone # as she had always like me an liked to stay in touch with some of her students as the reached adulthood so of course mom gave the lady my #.


She called was very interested in what I was doing how many kids I had an ages etc then tried to sell me a brand spanking new set of World Books.

wow, how inappropriate!!!!! I sell children's books and never would've approached any students about them I had co-workers buy from me as I was using several books in my classroom. The year after I left I came back to the school as an educational consultant and did a book fair but not until I was no longer involved in the school

 

[Where'sPiglet?]

OP, I don't like those questions. Especially not for 3rd grade. There are SO MANY other things that are less personal and intrusive that could be used for math. Also, it seems like the answers would be a little sophisticated for the 3rd grade level.

In high school, we had a class called "Consumer Economics", and one of the units was a budget unit. It came after the "career" and "buying a car" units. We had to use the average starting salary from the career we chose in the career unit to create a budget. We answered most of the questions your third grader has by looking up statistics along with store ads from the newspaper. We had to choose an apartment from the ads, and then figure out how much gas would be by figuring out the distance of the apartment to the job and using miles per gallon for that car from the car unit and current gas prices.

Another example of a teacher not thinking things through - I used to work for a Children's Aid Society. Many kids involved with the organization were in foster care. They hated it when the teacher assigned them to make a "family tree." Some were in the process of being adopted, some hadn't seen their birth parents for months (for legal/abuse reasons), some didn't know who their fathers were, etc. It's very hurtful when teachers assume that all kids are from "standard" families.

Teresa

We were taught in some of our methods courses to do a "family circle" instead of a "family tree". The circle is much more broad in defining "family"; the idea is the children identify people who are family or are LIKE family to them. In essence, the most influential people in their lives.

For mother's and father's day cards, I would allow the children to make a card for their mother, aunt, father, uncle, grandparents, step-mother, etc....whoever they felt was most like a mother/father to them. They could also make more than one card if they felt it was necessary. Alternatively, they could opt out of making a card and do a free-choice draw at the time. (This was first grade.)

 

[aprilfoolwed]

Are you in East Penn? I was the president of the Angel network a few years ago.....asking as I see you are in PA.

YES! I am! Small world!

 

[allison443]

I am a bit frustrated today. Not exactly sure how to feel about my 3rd graders homework.

First of all we are struggling with money woes beyond anything that I could ever imagine. DH's job was eliminated due to poor ecomony 17 months ago. He finally started a new job this month....no pay until 30th, and has taken a 75+% pay cut. I have been applying for jobs ever since he lost his job, with part time work heree & there.

This month has been extremely difficult. I had garage sale to buy groceries, Craigslist items, etc. Still not sure how going to pay water bill.

So, the homeworks is to "interview a family member" for their MONEY unit starting next week.
Question #1. About how much do you spend on groceries per month for your family?
#2. About how many miles do you drive back & forth to work?
#3. About how much do you spend on gas for travel per week?
#4. About how much do you spend on school supplies for your child(ren)?
#5. About how much do you spend eating at fast food or restaurants during the week?
#6. Does your child earn allowance for the week or month? If yes, do they save their money?

So.....we are a family of 7, DH & I with 5 kids.

1. Well I said we had a garage sale and rolled our all change to buy groceries.
2. We can answer now, but what a nice reminder that "Mommy and Daddy did not have jobs!!
3. Again, I have been scraping money for gas....used $10 per day for last 3 days because I do not have enough each day to fill tank.
4. With 5 children and not a lot of money.... nice reminder again of how much we are going without....I bought the min. and thankfully had stuff left over from last year.
5. Eat out........hahaha that hasn't happened for months.
6. Sorry no allowance (I actually have borrowed money from my boys birthday money).

I know this is a school learning moment about Money, but in these times, in our county high of unemployment, it is really sad that this is school assignment.
Could they not have used a ficticious family to do the unit.
I certainly cannot answer these questions as I wish to........DD knows the truth.
Sadly she came home with info about a field trip and asked if $15 was too much and she might not be able to go. "No honey, mommy will take care of it".

Does anyone else feel that this is just not the right time for such "interviews" and info for school assignments?

I am sorry for what you are going through. I know how stressful that is.

That said, I think the stress caused you to be a bit oversensitive. These were simple questions on a third grade level, no one was asking for your credit card balance or salary or anything.

#1 How much do you spend on groceries? Just give an amount, an approximation, no one asked how you paid so I don't see why you would even mention the garage sale/rolling coins. Just say what you spent.

#2 How far do you drive to work? You said your dh works now so just say the mileage. Why would you bring up the unemployment?

#3 How much do you spend on gas a week? Well you said $30 (just in $10 increments). So just say $30 Why would you even bring up that it was in increments?

#4 How much for school supplies? I shopped the sales and spent very little myself. So like $20 or whatever you spent. That's just being budget wise.

#5 Eating out/fast food-our family doesn't regularly eat out or get fast food and I know many families that do not. So answer none.

#6. Allowance. Answer none. I would bet many third graders do not get an allowance. Mine didn't at that age.

OP I hope you don't take it the wrong way. Actually I think it is completely understandable that you reacted that way. But why look for problems? You could have easily given your dd the answers without bringing up the whole backstory.

I am glad your dh is back at work and I truly hope things improve.

 

[I*heart*MickeyMouse]

I see absolutely no reason for you to make up answers, if you don't want to say your true ones... It's a third grade homework assignment not the income taxes lol!!!

You have enough on your mind... Let this go.

((hugs))

 

[StephMK]

OP, I'm so sorry it's been really difficult and hope the new job helps things start looking up.

I think the questions are inappropriate & there are other ways to get that assignment done. I'm in school to career change to teaching & those would not be acceptable questions. What about a kid whose parents take a bus? Kids that live in a home where parents work 3 jobs - which job is the gas for? Food stamps, kids comparing allowance amounts if they get them, etc. Just not at all sensitive to families.

Sure people can make up answers but really, kids (and parents) shouldn't have to be put in that position.

 

[ssawka]

As with most things in life, I think there are two sides at fault here. First, ITA that the questions seem inappropriate and that it could lead to teasing from other kids if those numbers are associated with the child. That being said, I think you overreacted. The questions are looking solely for numeric values. Your answers to these questions provide too much information and can lead to exactly the kind of teasing and ridicule that the questions themself can lead to. I truly am sorry that your family is experiencing difficulties right now, but the world does not need to know the specifics of your situation. If I were you, I would either make up numbers, or be honest and just put down pure dollar amounts and yes or no answers.

 

[blanq]

OP: I am so sorry that this is a hard time for you and your family. As far as the assignment, knowing what you are going through, I totally get your sensitivity toward it. If I were in shoes I would have been heart broken to have to help my child with this...you are definately entitled to a vent over this. I think I would have just answered the questions and not elaborated. For example, question #1, I would have said, we spent X per month last month. I would not have said that I had to have a garage sale and sell things on Craigslist so my kids could eat. Mainly: 1) it wasn't asked how you got the money to eat, 2) I would not want my child's teacher or school to know and 3) I would not have disclosed it to my child(ren) for fear it would make them insecure.

 

[OceanAnnie]

OP, I don't see how you could not be sensitive to those questions! Your family is going through a hardship. The questions are inappropriate. I'm sure it wasn't meant as such, but that doesn't diminish the inappropriateness.

I would make something up and label it as fiction. I would write the teacher a quick note indicating the assignment is fiction and invite her to call you if it posed a problem. I say that, because if you are looking into ways for the school to offset fees, it could become an issue with the school if things don't "add up" to your family having a need.

If by chance the teacher would call, I'd keep it short and sweet. I'd just ask what difference does it make to have fictitious answers. The assignment would still be complete and there would be "numbers" to work with. I would state, I don't feel comfortable giving out such personal information. I wouldn't get into our personal circumstances at all.


I hope things improve soon.

 

[eliza61]

Like I said, I am frustrated and not sure how to feel about the whole concept......

I don't necessarily think its wrong, I just think its inappropriate right now.

Or maybe since things are so bad here I am overy sensitive about any money issues.

I think you are sensitive to it but with good reason. I am going to present a different way to look at this thoug.

The reality of todays economy is rough. That's is not a crime so don't feel ashamed.

I get kids when they are older (17 &18) and the things they don't know about simply basic money principles puts them in a real disadvantage.

Talk with your kids about money, budgeting, savings. You would be surprised at how much they can handle.
Answer the questions on a normal average basis. You don't have to give specifics.
For example, normally how much would you spend to feed a family of 7.
or how much you normally spend eating out. There are no wrong answers. Even without a recession, we try not to eat out alot. it can be very expensive.
Pretty much all the questions are rather routine and it can be a great opportunity to show your kids how a monthly budget is made and what sort of things it takes to keep your house running smoothly.

 

[momxx5]

Thank you for all the support.
I really needed to hear that I am not crazy for thinking this assignment is a bit personal.

My original post included answers that I would not print/turn in....rather the truth of the matter. Thus taking this personal and upsetting.

I have a good relationship with all the teachers so going to talk to her(them) would not be a problem.

If this assingment has to be completed I will put in fictional numbers from a fictional family (telling teacher so)...so that we can move on.

As mentioned previously by a poster that a teacher used the info to sell books to the families....that is just plain wrong.
I do kinda worry who would see this and if anyone would make judgements. Like if we put that we ate out alot then someone may questions why the kids are on free lunch...or someone might feel the need to counsel us on our spending.

It really just leaves too much out there with no real/honest gain.

Maybe for teenagers in high school but not at the sensitive age of 8yrs old.

BTW I called the guidance dept and DS will take the PSAT with the fee waived!!! I almost cried with gratitude upon hearing the news.

Thanks again for all your support and insight. That is what makes this an awesome place to come

Wishing everyone a great day, happiness, good health and a sprinkling of pixie dust.

 

[andymattmom]

I am sorry for what you are going through. I know how stressful that is.

That said, I think the stress caused you to be a bit oversensitive. These were simple questions on a third grade level, no one was asking for your credit card balance or salary or anything.

#1 How much do you spend on groceries? Just give an amount, an approximation, no one asked how you paid so I don't see why you would even mention the garage sale/rolling coins. Just say what you spent.

#2 How far do you drive to work? You said your dh works now so just say the mileage. Why would you bring up the unemployment?

#3 How much do you spend on gas a week? Well you said $30 (just in $10 increments). So just say $30 Why would you even bring up that it was in increments?

#4 How much for school supplies? I shopped the sales and spent very little myself. So like $20 or whatever you spent. That's just being budget wise.

#5 Eating out/fast food-our family doesn't regularly eat out or get fast food and I know many families that do not. So answer none.

#6. Allowance. Answer none. I would bet many third graders do not get an allowance. Mine didn't at that age.

OP I hope you don't take it the wrong way. Actually I think it is completely understandable that you reacted that way. But why look for problems? You could have easily given your dd the answers without bringing up the whole backstory.

I am glad your dh is back at work and I truly hope things improve.

I totally agree with this post. The OP gave way more information than was required on the answers. Why did we have to mention the garage sale...it asked for an amount? I am sure on distance to work others could have had 0 miles due to working at home.

I can't imagine all that you have been through financially and emotionally. I do feel for you and it is good to hear things are starting to look better for your family (slowly but glad to hear your husband has a job). Without sounding mean I do think you were overly sensitive to the questions. You gave way more information than was needed and put your child in a situation that she/he didn't need to be put in. Just answer the question that is there...don't give more background than is needed. Simple and no reason to be offended. No one is going to think someone is lazy for eating fast food- my family had to do it twice last week due to sports ending at 8PM and me not wanting to cook.

You really should contact the school about field trip as others have mentioned. Do your children qualify for reduced lunches (would that help in any way). I know at our schools no one knows who is on the reduced lunches except those who work in office.

An idea for you for a job- have you tried the school where your children go? Maybe start by offering to volunteer and see if there are openings. Schools are more likely to hire someone they know and if you are there offering to help (even if for an hour a day---IDK the ages of all your kids if this is possible) and an aide job opens or cafeteria job opens they are more likely to hire that person who they know well.

Good luck and your situation made me stop and realize how much we all take forgranted each day. We just assume a job will be there, money will be there, food will be there...but your situation shows how hard it really is and how things can change like that. It sounds like your kids have wonderful parents will do whatever to make sure they don't do without...think your kids got the best lesson by your showing how you will and can make things work!

 

[momxx5]

Andymattmom:

The answers I gave in original posts were not the answers I will write, but more of a way to express to y'all our circumstances and how difficult it can be for some families.

I am currently taking a required "Effective Teaching Training for Substitue Teachers". Although the class is only 3 hrs (9-12) each Wed. the class is a total of 30 hrs thus making it a 10 WEEK class. I know I cannot control everything, but I just wished the class was twice a week for 5 weeks. The schools are begging for sub-teachers and yet we cannot teach until after we recieve our certificate. I do have many teachers at the elementary school and middle school who have penciled me in to sub for them...so we are just waiting until I get certified.
I will make more money as a sub-teacher than most assistant teachers make per year.
Thankfully DH's job carries affordable and awesome health benefits so I can be more flexible in job searching.
I also have an interview next week with Starbucks. They only hire part time so I am hoping between subbing and coffee I will be able to maintain both jobs.
So there is light at the end of the tunnel.....

P.S. I also am currently employed by the school system as a cafeteria substitute.....if someone calls in sick they can call me to work. However, with school just starting back there are not many opportunities because the cafeteria workers are glad to be back to work.
I do have 3 days of work in caf scheduled in October because they now ahead that someone will be out.

I have spent most of the past 10+ yrs volunteering at the schools in many areas....teacher helper, PTO chairperson for many committees, general office help, etc.
This is a plus because the teachers all know me, that I am a hard worker and take pride in what I do, so they are eager to have me as a sub-teacher for them. Also having 5 kids in 3 levels of schools gives me the opportunity to sub in different school.s
I have been told that you can work as many days as you want, so I am crossing my fingers to work a min. of 4 days a week, if not more.

 

[rumrunnergirl]

.

 

[MomToOne]

Without sounding mean I do think you were overly sensitive to the questions. You gave way more information than was needed and put your child in a situation that she/he didn't need to be put in. Just answer the question that is there...don't give more background than is needed.

The OP has said that she did not give all this info to her child. She was just venting in her post.

I personally do not think she was being overly sensitive. I luckily have a job and am doing OK in this economy but I still don't want the amount of money I spend on groceries or eating out being broadcast to the entire 3rd grade. My experience with 3rd graders is that they are starting to get very into one-upsmanship at that age, and if my daughter had gone into school saying we spend only $50/week for a family of 2 for groceries and only $20/month on eating out and that she doesn't get an allowance that would have been major gossip on the playground once it was compared to other families spending habits, most of whom I know spend WAY more in all categories because (a) they are 2 income families and (b) because of the lines of work they are in, they just make way more money than I do (although I do just fine). And I know that even if the teacher did not ask the children to share their information with each other, they would have the minute they hit school, because that's what 3rd graders do - it's a constant game of "am I better than you?" and "what can I tease you about today?" no matter how many times you tell them that's not OK to do.

And as far as asking someone else for this information, I'm sorry but I think asking others for this information is rude too. I was taught that you do not ask others outside your immediately family about their finances. If they care to share, that's one thing, but you do not ask them, esp. if you are a child.

 

[jbear'smommy]

I would have just written a note the teacher saying you are uncomfortable with the assignment.

 

[Piper]

I am a teacher and I can see where such an assignment would cause many problems. Children are cruel--they use anything they can to taunt others. There are several questions on that assignment that could cause bullying.

The whole assignment was in poor taste. Your finances are private--not something to be shared!

 

[andymattmom]

I am a teacher and I can see where such an assignment would cause many problems. Children are cruel--they use anything they can to taunt others. There are several questions on that assignment that could cause bullying.

The whole assignment was in poor taste. Your finances are private--not something to be shared!

As a parent and substitute teacher of 10 years I am going to disagree. I have been in numerous elementary classrooms and at no time would another child have access to another child's homework to 'bully' them about the family finances. This isn't asking for how much money does your father make a year, how much money does your mother make a year? It is asking how many miles do you drive, how much in a week do you spend on food? I am assuming the teacher is using for the math problems and to show graphs, etc. She will compile and not say Mary's family spent $100 on groceries last week and Tim's family spent $250 in groceries last week. Mary's mom didn't drive to work because she is unemployed and Tim's dad the doctor drove 15 miles round trip to his office and hospital weekly.

Yes, there are cruel children but the majority of them are good. The teacher could use the diversity of numbers to talk about how things are different for families within the classroom WITHOUT SINGLING OUT A PARTICULAR CHILD. She can say some families spend more on eating out than others. Some spend less on groceries than others. Some parents have to drive farther to work while some work from home. It teaches the children about life and reality. There is nothing wrong with that and teachers are given such a bad rap at times about how they handle things. As a sub I have been put on the spot...last week we read a 'TIME FOR KIDS' in fourth grade. There was a thing on schools reporting BMI of kids and we talked about if it was good or bad. The kids expressed their views and never once did anyone make fun of or mention the overweight kids in the class. They felt it was better for the doctors to do it...I explained it would be done without other kids seeing (this was for a school in article on east coast and we are mid-west). That changed some views but kids are a lot smart and kinder than given credit for.

I understand why OP is having issue but people are making too much of this. They were simple questions that required a number answer PERIOD. The other classmates won't know whose information they are seeing when a group of numbers is given or a graph is show..so no bullying or making fun of . IF A TEACHER SHOWS CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION TO A STUDENT THEN THERE IS AN ISSUE WITH THE TEACHER AND THEY SCHOOL SYSTEM.

OP talk to the school about all the things...glad you are working with the school Once again your family is learning so much from this. Honestly don't think the teacher will show others your child's paper because she or he doesn't want to lose their job over something like that. It is a basic homework assignment....my 8th grader just asked me questions about what it was like when I was a teenager. What I did for fun? Type of music I listened to? When I graduated? What peer pressure I faced? I knew it was for homework and that the teacher would not pass on information that would identify me. I knew the kids were learning about pressures of today versus when their parents grew up..... I have answered the ones having to do with money spent on various things and never thought a thing of it. Teachers don't discuss things about individual kids with other students.

Ask the teacher about the assignment...see if you can view final project before she teaches. Ask if you can come in when lesson is presented so you know what is going on and help if she needs help.

 

[andymattmom]

Andymattmom:

The answers I gave in original posts were not the answers I will write, but more of a way to express to y'all our circumstances and how difficult it can be for some families.

I am currently taking a required "Effective Teaching Training for Substitue Teachers". Although the class is only 3 hrs (9-12) each Wed. the class is a total of 30 hrs thus making it a 10 WEEK class. I know I cannot control everything, but I just wished the class was twice a week for 5 weeks. The schools are begging for sub-teachers and yet we cannot teach until after we recieve our certificate. I do have many teachers at the elementary school and middle school who have penciled me in to sub for them...so we are just waiting until I get certified.
I will make more money as a sub-teacher than most assistant teachers make per year.
Thankfully DH's job carries affordable and awesome health benefits so I can be more flexible in job searching.
I also have an interview next week with Starbucks. They only hire part time so I am hoping between subbing and coffee I will be able to maintain both jobs.
So there is light at the end of the tunnel.....

P.S. I also am currently employed by the school system as a cafeteria substitute.....if someone calls in sick they can call me to work. However, with school just starting back there are not many opportunities because the cafeteria workers are glad to be back to work.
I do have 3 days of work in caf scheduled in October because they now ahead that someone will be out.

I have spent most of the past 10+ yrs volunteering at the schools in many areas....teacher helper, PTO chairperson for many committees, general office help, etc.
This is a plus because the teachers all know me, that I am a hard worker and take pride in what I do, so they are eager to have me as a sub-teacher for them. Also having 5 kids in 3 levels of schools gives me the opportunity to sub in different school.s
I have been told that you can work as many days as you want, so I am crossing my fingers to work a min. of 4 days a week, if not more.

What a lucky family....glad teachers are ready for you to sub for them! It is a rewarding job...I have done for 10 years. Wish it was a shorter class also for you! People like you who help in schools and volunteer are getting scarce. From the time my boys were in kindergarten and now that they are high school and middle school volunteering has gone down. I can't tell you how much time I have spent helping in class, going on field trips, planning parties and spending my own money so things go good. It doesn't end in elementary....for high school same parents complain when things don't look good (locker decorations) but don't want to help or give money to help.

Hope things go well with the job....and your family keeps getting back on their feet. Know the school and teacher would never let anyone know situation of your family....classmates would not see your child's paper. But the teacher would understand if you didn't do and explained why....I know the ones here in our school system would and am sure the situation is the same all over with the current economic times.

 

[MomToOne]

As a parent and substitute teacher of 10 years I am going to disagree. I have been in numerous elementary classrooms and at no time would another child have access to another child's homework to 'bully' them about the family finances. This isn't asking for how much money does your father make a year, how much money does your mother make a year? It is asking how many miles do you drive, how much in a week do you spend on food? I am assuming the teacher is using for the math problems and to show graphs, etc. She will compile and not say Mary's family spent $100 on groceries last week and Tim's family spent $250 in groceries last week. Mary's mom didn't drive to work because she is unemployed and Tim's dad the doctor drove 15 miles round trip to his office and hospital weekly.

While the teacher may not share the information, kids at that age will often share it amongst themselves, without realizing what the consequences may be. Even though teachers do not share with the class who got an F on the test, all the kids somehow know within 2 minutes of hitting the playground at recess...