I've thought about this before as one of my friends is a youth group leader for a Sr. High youth group and we had this conversation in regard to how HS girls act about boys and only being "worth" something if they are pretty, popular and have a boyfriend. So I began thinking very seriously about this as well - this is what I came up with.
My girls are most definitely into the whole Disney Princess thing and I'm all for it. However, I ALWAYS make a point to tell my oldest (4 1/2) about the brave things they do and how smart they are for waiting for who is perfect for them.
Of course Mulan is quite a hero. She is a fav. So courageous and willing to do anything to save her family, but in thinking very in depth about this I have discover strengths in the princesses I hadn't noticed before and now point out to my girls. Without going too in depth, I will try to explain what I mean. Of course, when talking to my girls I don't go into this much depth and use much easier terminology and thoughts.
Yes, Cinderella is waiting on her prince. But in waiting, she also serves others (even though they are mean to her) with a patient heart and goes about her work determined and working hard. That is why she is rewarded by her prince. She deserved what she worked hard for.
Belle - she is very courageous in and of herself. She isn't afraid to speak up to the Beast in order to save her father which shows she is very giving and unselfish. She is also able to look deeper than skin and falls in love with the beast before she even has any idea how he looks as a human. She loves him for who he is.
Jasmine - It gets a little more difficult here, but she stands firm in her belief that she needs to marry for true love. She knows it isn't right to marry someone simply BECAUSE they are a prince. Once again, she is interested in Aladdin before he even "becomes" a prince.
Snow White - Ok, so she's a little bit cheesy sometimes in the movie if I'm honest and she is definitely not my girls' favorite but she is willing to take care of the seven dwarfs and take care of them as if they are her children. After the initial song in the beginning, she doesn't even mention waiting for a prince again until he comes and kisses her.
Ariel - Again, this is a little tougher because Ariel does base most everything on Prince Eric. I think the one thing I would stress here is that he father loves her so much that he is willing in the end to let her go in order to make her happy. (Not that I agree, as a parent, with her disobedience in the first place!
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Ok, didn't mean to go so long and I hope I made sense. I guess my point is that we try to pull the good out of the princess movies and work them into lessons learned. I mean, all of our girls ARE princesses right? With such low self-esteem so many young ladies have these days, if we stress how special they are and how they need to wait on someone that RESPECTS them for who they are and not what they look like, the princesses can indeed become a great learning tool just like everything in this world...just depends on which angle you go with.
sorry so long...
And I never really thought about it much before as anything other than a romantic fairytale. But with only a few exceptions (like Mulan) most of the princesses are just sort of hoping that "someday my Prince will come". Is that a bad message? Of course it won't make me stop liking them I was just curious what other moms thought? 
Kids are stronger than we make them out to be.
Oh, and yes she is going as Peter Pan for Halloween this year - she idolizes him!! At least she was Minnie 
last year.
