Mom to be's input for baby shower? long - sorry!

[hulagirl87]

My grandma and aunt are planning my baby shower for me, it will be 2 weeks from today. My aunt had my cousin call me before Thanksgiving to find out what I wanted to eat, and what I could and couldn't eat since I do have some food allergies. I mentioned simple foods like a veggie tray, finger sandwiches, and bread boat.

Today my mom talked to my grandma and my grandma mentioned that they were going to make chicken tetrazzini. My mom expressed concern because that would be difficult to eat since it isn't a sit down atmosphere and we would just be eating off our laps plus with allergies that is something I can't eat. My aunt said that I shouldn't have a say and should just be surprised. Why would she have had my cousin call then and ask what I wanted? I'm confused and concerned but don't want to seem ungrateful. Are mom's to be allowed to have a say in their shower or just let someone else plan everything entirely?

 

[minniecarousel]

As long as the Mom-to-be knows about the shower, I think she should have her likes and dislikes considered.

Obviously, if it's a surprise shower, then the food will be a surprise too.

If they insist on their menu, eat before you go. (I agree, a hot dish on a lap plate is silly.)

 

[DawnCt1]

Showers are usually surprises, but not always, however, you have food allergies. It seems reasonable to accommodate the "guest of honor".

 

[happygirl]

My grandma and aunt are planning my baby shower for me, it will be 2 weeks from today. My aunt had my cousin call me before Thanksgiving to find out what I wanted to eat, and what I could and couldn't eat since I do have some food allergies. I mentioned simple foods like a veggie tray, finger sandwiches, and bread boat.

Today my mom talked to my grandma and my grandma mentioned that they were going to make chicken tetrazzini. My mom expressed concern because that would be difficult to eat since it isn't a sit down atmosphere and we would just be eating off our laps plus with allergies that is something I can't eat. My aunt said that I shouldn't have a say and should just be surprised. Why would she have had my cousin call then and ask what I wanted? I'm confused and concerned but don't want to seem ungrateful. Are mom's to be allowed to have a say in their shower or just let someone else plan everything entirely?[/QUOTE

I think allergies should be taken into consideration.

What are you allergic to

 

[momof1princess]

normally, at least in my family, moms-to-be don't have much input in a baby shower, BUT, considering the fact that you have food allergies, you should definitely have a say in any and all food and drink that will be served. what good is a party for a guest-of-honor who shows up and can't eat the food? in your position, i would speak to my aunt, and fast, and let her know i cannot eat what she's planning to serve, and ask that she please respect my food allergies and choose something i could eat. i just don't understand how people brush off food allergies so easily...some are life-threatening. good luck and congratulations, OP!

 

[pearlieq]

I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to be able to eat the food at your own shower! It's not like you're dictating the games or decorations.

Are they offering anything other than the tetrazzini? If that's just one entree and there will also be other salads, sandwiches, etc., then it's fine if they also want to serve the chicken. But if it's the main dish and you'll be asked to subsist on nuts and cake for the entire party, that's not OK.

If possible, I would ask your mom to run interference for you.

Hope it all works out!

 

[RNMOM]

People who don't have allergies don't always "get" how difficult it can be. May I suggest you pack yourself something safe for you to eat and slip it into your purse in case they don't think of you. In the scope of things, these people are giving you the gift of a party to give you gifts for you little one to be, is this something you want to allow to put a huge damper on the party? I agree that the menu seems a bit odd but food is just one small part of the event. Go and have fun and let it be this once.

 

[aprilgail2]

Showers are usually surprises, but not always, however, you have food allergies. It seems reasonable to accommodate the "guest of honor".

I have never been to one that was not a surpirse. The guest of honor usually doesn't get to chose things for the shower- you walk in , get "SURPRISE" screamed in your face and sit down to eat LOL....but being you have food allergies they should have something there that you can eat!

 

[clh2]

I know you can't seem ungracious to your grandma and aunt.

Maybe your mom could politely call interferance by bringing in some of your favorite "whatever"all cooked up and in a crock pot to keep it warm. Or if she doesn't want to bring in a crock pot, what about a cold salad of some sort that is more of a meal?

Your mom could just do it, and mention while she is entering, I didn't know what you were serving, and i am concerned that "Hulagirl" won't have something to eat due to her allergies.

Relax and enjoy the party!

 

[chloelovesdisney]

This is easily solved. Your mom can bring food to the party that you like, I'm sure she knows your favorites.

The person that is being given the shower does not get a say in it, it is a gift in and of itself.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I know you can't seem ungracious to your grandma and aunt.

Maybe your mom could politely call interferance by bringing in some of your favorite "whatever"all cooked up and in a crock pot to keep it warm. Or if she doesn't want to bring in a crock pot, what about a cold salad of some sort that is more of a meal?

Your mom could just do it, and mention while she is entering, I didn't know what you were serving, and i am concerned that "Hulagirl" won't have something to eat due to her allergies.

Relax and enjoy the party!

Ditto.

 

[hulagirl87]

I think allergies should be taken into consideration.

What are you allergic to

I'm lactose intollerant, have a peanut allergy, and while I have been pregnant have a ton of food aversions. My tastes are definitely not the same now!

I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to be able to eat the food at your own shower! It's not like you're dictating the games or decorations.

Are they offering anything other than the tetrazzini? If that's just one entree and there will also be other salads, sandwiches, etc., then it's fine if they also want to serve the chicken. But if it's the main dish and you'll be asked to subsist on nuts and cake for the entire party, that's not OK.

If possible, I would ask your mom to run interference for you.

Hope it all works out!

I think that they were planning on a tossed salad as well. I know that my mom would say something if I asked. She's a great mom!

This is easily solved. Your mom can bring food to the party that you like, I'm sure she knows your favorites.

The person that is being given the shower does not get a say in it, it is a gift in and of itself.

And I am very grateful that my aunt has offered to have it at her house. It's very nice. But she shouldn't have to go through so much trouble either. Cooking a meal is a lot more trouble than getting a veggie tray and sandwich tray. Again, I just don't want to seem ungrateful, I just don't know why I was asked for my input if it wasn't going to be taken into consideration.

I thank everyone for their input. I know the food shouldn't be a big deal and make or break the shower. I just want the shower to go well and everyone to have a good time

 

[kidzmom3]

I think you should just let it go. Your mom already expressed concern and was shot down. Obviously, they do not want outside input. I think maybe when your cousin called, it was without her moms permission. You will be too busy opening the gifts. Just eat a snack before hand.

also, I think its sad that you know when the shower is. It is always a suprise in our family.

 

[SaraJayne]

I have never been to one that was not a surpirse. The guest of honor usually doesn't get to chose things for the shower- you walk in , get "SURPRISE" screamed in your face and sit down to eat LOL....but being you have food allergies they should have something there that you can eat!

I've never been to one that was a suprise.

OP, you need to have your Mom talk to your aunt and let her know your concerns. Eating a hot dish off your lap is not an ideal situation, and I wouldn't want to do it as a shower guest.

But the main issue if you won't even be able to eat the food at your own shower!

 

[clgwli]

Showers are usually surprises, but not always, however, you have food allergies. It seems reasonable to accommodate the "guest of honor".

Really? I have never been to a single surprise shower. Baby or otherwise.

OP, I think if they want to make that food for others that is fine, however I hope they do take into consideration your food allergies and make something you can eat as well. I do think it is odd that they are not thinking of you first. I remember planning a shower for someone who had allergies and while we had food for everyone else, our first priority was to get food for the mom to be.

 

[SaraJayne]

This is easily solved. Your mom can bring food to the party that you like, I'm sure she knows your favorites.

The person that is being given the shower does not get a say in it, it is a gift in and of itself.

Not here. The Mom-to-be is involved in planning the shower and her likes and dislikes are heavily factored into the shower.

 

[bumbershoot]

I've never been to one that was a suprise.

But the main issue if you won't even be able to eat the food at your own shower!

Really? I have never been to a single surprise shower. Baby or otherwise.

Same here. My showers were not surprises (though I wasn't really taken into account for either and did not enjoy them, nor did I feel they were a gift to me, but rather a social occasion of what the others wanted).

You have limits on what you can eat AND food aversions. I had the same thing. I don't remember anything served at baby shower (or wedding shower, when I wasn't pg), but I know I was hungry when I left.

With my food aversions, smells got to me. I barely went to the store the entire pregnancy b/c I could smell the meat department, could smell sour milk, could smell every nasty smell that can happen in a grocery store. It was BAD. So to have something offensive at my shower could have seriously ruined it for everyone.

And my normal food limits aren't even allergies (though I'm sure I would be very sick if I ate them now), but I can't even imagine a relative so blatantly ignoring me at my own shower.

 

[a1tinkfans]

OP: just want to say congrats to you. I agree, since mom knows your allergies perhaps she can just bring something along for you. OR, since you already seem to know, eat beforehand??
EIther way, have a wonderful time......

 

[aprilgail2]

I
also, I think its sad that you know when the shower is. It is always a suprise in our family.

 

[wdwfan16]

My grandma and aunt are planning my baby shower for me, it will be 2 weeks from today. My aunt had my cousin call me before Thanksgiving to find out what I wanted to eat, and what I could and couldn't eat since I do have some food allergies. I mentioned simple foods like a veggie tray, finger sandwiches, and bread boat.

Today my mom talked to my grandma and my grandma mentioned that they were going to make chicken tetrazzini. My mom expressed concern because that would be difficult to eat since it isn't a sit down atmosphere and we would just be eating off our laps plus with allergies that is something I can't eat. My aunt said that I shouldn't have a say and should just be surprised. Why would she have had my cousin call then and ask what I wanted? I'm confused and concerned but don't want to seem ungrateful. Are mom's to be allowed to have a say in their shower or just let someone else plan everything entirely?

From what you wrote it is possible that your cousin took it upon herself to ask and it was not your aunt's idea.

Since you are the guest of honor you really don't get any say in the party. I would expect your aunt to know about your allergy and to plan accordingly. As long as there is food for you to eat I would let it go.