Mom of new driver needs sympathy

[yoopermom]

She is talking about a policy that goes above and beyond the scope of coverage your auto policy covers. We too added an umbrella liability policy but we did it when my DH turned 50 not when the teenager started driving. The umbrella policy further protects our home, assets etc. in the event that someone decides to sue us beyond the scope of our auto policy.

It has nothing to do with covering our own vehicles.

Ah, gotcha, thank you! I know about umbrella policies, because DH has a small business, and I'm terrified of what would happen if we got sued. I appreciate the clarification.

Terri

 

[AristocatFan]

DS16 just got his license Dec. 1 after holding his permit for a year and half because of the law changes. Long story, anyway, the first week driving to school he got a parking ticket. I told him I'll take a parking ticket over an accident anytime! Just let him know that cars can be replaced and he can't. The cost and the vehicle does not matter as long as nobody is hurt!

Oh and when we were looking for cars for our boys to drive my only request was air bags and safety.

 

[yoopermom]

I'm glad, too, that it was only his vehicle and not anyone else involved, too. He didn't have anyone else in the car (isn't allowed to without calling us and asking permission first), was where he was supposed to be (ditto the calling first), and just made a bad judgement call. We're really pretty over-protective (DS says I have him on a flexileash, always reeling him back in), so me even letting him have this much freedom has given me a stomachache...

Terri

 

[alaskanabbott]

You allowed you child to get behind the wheel of a car you knew he didn't have the skills to drive in the winter. You made your insurance decisions on the assumption that he would have an accident?

You are incredibly lucky that your precious child is alive right now.

Well I guess you can count me as lucky too, B/c the only way I learned was from from doing-- AND so did my 18yr old, AND so did my 16 yr old....oh and by the way, we live in Alaska...roads don't get much more winter

To the OP- My son had his license one week when he hit a car parked right next to a NO PARKING sign on our street, he had to repair his own truck, but our insurance when up...now he is so much more careful. DH thinks it was the best thing that could have happened to a new driver.

 

[yoopermom]

Well I guess you can count me as lucky too, B/c the only way I learned was from from doing-- AND so did my 18yr old, AND so did my 16 yr old....oh and by the way, we live in Alaska...roads don't get much more winter

Amber, DH and DS would love to meet your family, they're HUGE Alaska fans (I tell them the UP is probably as close as we're going to get...). Our roads are just what they are, unfortunately, and you learn to be very, very careful in the (long) winters...

Terri

 

[LisaR]

My level of sympathy would depend on WHY he ended up in the ditch! Was he just going to fast? was it so bad out he had no business being on the roads? was it bad enough out that as a NEW driver he had no business being on the road? did a deer run in front of him? did another driver force him into the ditch? Was it a freak patch of black ice? I would have to have these questions answered before i decided whether to kill him, or have a real good talk with him and his decisions or to sympathize with him or to possibly help him get his car fixed.


As the mother of a teen I personally don't believe in kids having their own cars.

I guess I don't understand what you mean by this? Was it just a general statement or are you suggesting that if the OP's son didn't have his own car, this accident wouldn't have happened? One can presume that a teen driver would be allowed to use their parent's car on occasion and could still have an accident.

My oldest will likely get her license in July (assuming she continues to do well with her permit). We will have our own restrictions for the first year above what the law says. Assuming all goes well, we will get her a car the following year. The main reason will be for our own convenience. I have places to go and things to do and I don't relish sharing a car with her through her teen years.

I have to say, of all the things I have experienced with raising children for 15 years, the absolute hardest for me was the first few weeks she was driving on busy streets. My whole body would tighten up the second she put it in drive. DH would attempt to give me a back rub in the evening and he would tell me that plywood was more flexible than my back. Thankfully, I have learned to accept this new part of our lives and I am handling it better now.

 

[minkydog]

Well I guess you can count me as lucky too, B/c the only way I learned was from from doing-- AND so did my 18yr old, AND so did my 16 yr old....oh and by the way, we live in Alaska...roads don't get much more winter

To the OP- My son had his license one week when he hit a car parked right next to a NO PARKING sign on our street, he had to repair his own truck, but our insurance when up...now he is so much more careful. DH thinks it was the best thing that could have happened to a new driver.

Me too! I totalled my dad's car within 2 months of getting my license(at 18!) i wasn't even speeding or anything. Thankfully, he took it well. My DS24 had his first wreck about 6wks after he got his license(at 20. We don't like to rush these things.) He hit the other car at low speed in a parking lot.

As much as I don't like to think about it, I really do think that minor fender-benders have their purpose. There is nothing like a small dust up to make you realize just how fast an accident can happen and how limited your control can be. I know it made me a more cautious driver.

 

[ENSOCK]

I am soo glad your son is ok. AS a mom of a 16 yr. old, that is my fear of him wrecking. He does have his own truck but it is an older model because like you the insurance is unbelieveable.

He does not have to pay for anything on his truck, gas or insurance but he does pay the gas. I try to pay him back but he got a job so that he could handle it himself. I have a great kid.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Well I guess you can count me as lucky too, B/c the only way I learned was from from doing-- AND so did my 18yr old, AND so did my 16 yr old....oh and by the way, we live in Alaska...roads don't get much more winter

To the OP- My son had his license one week when he hit a car parked right next to a NO PARKING sign on our street, he had to repair his own truck, but our insurance when up...now he is so much more careful. DH thinks it was the best thing that could have happened to a new driver.

I learned to drive in Canada, not much a difference. My parents didn't hand me the keys to my own vehicle on the first day I had my licence. They gradually let me have more control, and made sure that the times when I was on the road alone happened in the spring and summer. It's not hard to do, even when you live in places where there's snow most of the year.

The OP stated that she and her DH both thought the kid was going to crash -- then he shouldn't be driving alone yet. If they thought he was OK and he got rear ended or made a bad choice, then that happens and I have plenty of sympathy but if you actually think your child isn't ready then you should say "no, you can't have a car yet". If Grandparents give one, then refuse to put tags on it, or get insurance.

 

[mamacatnv]

I learned to drive in Canada, not much a difference. My parents didn't hand me the keys to my own vehicle on the first day I had my licence. They gradually let me have more control, and made sure that the times when I was on the road alone happened in the spring and summer. It's not hard to do, even when you live in places where there's snow most of the year.

The OP stated that she and her DH both thought the kid was going to crash -- then he shouldn't be driving alone yet. If they thought he was OK and he got rear ended or made a bad choice, then that happens and I have plenty of sympathy but if you actually think your child isn't ready then you should say "no, you can't have a car yet". If Grandparents give one, then refuse to put tags on it, or get insurance.

If as you stated you live in a place where there is snow most of the year IMO it is not reasonable or practical to only allow a teen driver to drive during the spring and summer. They need to learn to drive in all conditions and they need all the practice they can get.

As for being alone in the car, just because a parent is in the car does not mean the kid won't still have an accident. I had a kid hit my parked car in the school parking lot while his Mother was in the car, $1,500 in damage to my car. Stuff happens.

I don't think that any parent puts their kid in a car "knowing" they will have an accident, that is just not a reasonable thought to me as a parent and I do not believe that was the OP's thought. However, it is reasonable to me as a parent to know that statistically the chances of an accident are fairly high and I do believe the OP was also aware of the statistics when they chose to only carry liability on the car.

 

[Hannathy]

I guess I don't understand what you mean by this? Was it just a general statement or are you suggesting that if the OP's son didn't have his own car, this accident wouldn't have happened? One can presume that a teen driver would be allowed to use their parent's car on occasion and could still have an accident.

I don't think young teens should have a dedicated car to them. If the family wants to have an extra car then great but it should be understood it is the family car and they need to coordinate the use of it. It isn't theirs to just go hop in when ever they want without checking.

 

[beaucoup]

Lessons learned young last a lifetime.
Glad no one was hurt.

 

[mamacatnv]

I don't think young teens should have a dedicated car to them. If the family wants to have an extra car then great but it should be understood it is the family car and they need to coordinate the use of it. It isn't theirs to just go hop in when ever they want without checking.

I understand your point however just because they have a car that is "theirs" does not necessarily mean that they can go whenever and wherever they want. DS had a dedicated vehicle that we supplied but he still had to have permission to go places etc.

 

[mamacatnv]

Lessons learned young last a lifetime.
Glad no one was hurt.

 

[wilderness01]

Happened to ours too. The only thing that matter is that they are ok. Things can be replaced, people can't. I'm sorry he had this happen. Make him get behind the wheel asap to calm his fears.

 

[alaskanabbott]

Amber, DH and DS would love to meet your family, they're HUGE Alaska fans (I tell them the UP is probably as close as we're going to get...). Our roads are just what they are, unfortunately, and you learn to be very, very careful in the (long) winters...

Terri

Anytime you get a hankering to see Alaska let us know! We live on the Kenai Peninsula, it's almost as magical as WDW You can "meet" the family through my trip report in my signature. Maybe we will see ya in the north someday!
As for roads, yup, you just drive slower and be extra mindful of Moose

 

[AristocatFan]

I understand your point however just because they have a car that is "theirs" does not necessarily mean that they can go whenever and wherever they want. DS had a dedicated vehicle that we supplied but he still had to have permission to go places etc.

Exactly! My boys have to share a car when the oldest is home from college. They work it out between themselves but they still have to get permission from me before they go anywhere.

 

[rie'smom]

Our sons had cars/trucks when they received their licenses. Neither has ever been involved in an accident. Our daughter has had a Nitro since September and won't get her license until Feb. She drives it with me.

 

[yoopermom]

I just wanted to clarify that DH didn't necessarily think that DS was going to crash because of his specific driving skills (he's been driving with one of us since 14 yrs 8 months, as MI allows), but simply because the statistics are so grim for teenage male drivers (and he was one himself).

Obviously, looking back, we did gamble and lose by not carrying broad collision insurance. Otherwise, I think we prepared and limited him, as a driver, to the best of our ability.

He's in his room right now contemplating how he's going to adjust again to having his parents drive him around while he earns the $$ to fix "his" car.

At least he's ok, and no one else was involved. Thanks for sharing your stories!

Terri

 

[manning]

My DH is in total agreement with you on this, and really didn't want the grandparents to give him one. The only way we ended up agreeing to it was that it be put in MY name, and it's really not "his" until he goes off to college. My vehicle, my rules! I would have let him run around in our old "beater" truck (that's worth less than 1K), but the grandparents were worried about safety issues.

Ah, well. Now he'll be home more to spend time with me.

Terri

You want to keep your assets.

Do you know that if he got into an accident with someone else where there is serious damages/injuries you could be sued personally for the sole reason you own the car. They will go for the deep pockets.