missing maddie

[castleview]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? Are you saying that YOU do this, or have done this????? They should throw people in freaking jail for that!!!!!

There was a story in recent years of an idiot mom who went into an ATM or something and someone stole her car with a child in it, and the child's back door was not closed all the way and the child, while strapped into its carseat (the carseat had partially fallen out of the car), was DRAGGED DOWN A HIGHWAY while the thief was trying to get away!!!


My DSs are now 19 and 16 and I did not need a news story like that to make me see WHY you don't leave a child unattended in a car. COMMON SENSE told me that you just don't do that. PEOPLE HAVE NO COMMON SENSE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've seen it done at both the elementary and pre schools. The moms walk their kids to the doors and head back to the car. I've never seen the car running yet and I've always heard the door being locked/armed/whatever. Sometimes they have other mom friends keeping an eye out for the car and sometimes they don't. My guess is that people are probably more comfortable doing this in a school parking lot where there are a bunch of moms around. I don't judge these moms.

Personally, I would be more worried about someone calling DCF on them then something happening to the kids.

 

[JVL1018]

not to defend the person who stole the car... but the car seat didn't just fall out of the car because the door wasn't shut. The mother ran along the side of the car, opened the door and tried to take the child/carseat out wihtout unbuckling the child from the seat, or the seat from the car.

To defend the mom however, from what I remember she was standing at the ATM just within a couple of ft of the car. Haven't you ever gone ahead and put a child in the car while loading groceries etc. IMHO the only thing to mom did wrong was to leave the keys in the car and the doors unlocked.

As for the family in the case of the OP...I've only heard bits and pieces of the story, so I really can't comment. I thought that I had read that they could see their room from the restaurant, but I am probably mistaken.

I agree with the only thing she did wrong was leave her keys in an unlocked car.
That happened to another mom, she tried to get her son out and ended up getting him caught in the seatbelt and he was killed.

My thoughts and I am sure people will strongly disagree: it's not so much leaving kids in the car that is so dangerous, it's leaving the kids in a RUNNING, UNLOCKED car.
I have yet to hear of any child being stolen along with the car if the car was shut off and the child locked inside.

I do leave my kids in the car all the time now that they are older, but always when I can see them, like if I am getting DD from school and it is cold, raining etc, I park, leave DS in the car and walk the 20 feet away to get her(we have to get the kids in 1xst grade).
I am 100% sure that he is safe and I have no qualms over it at all.
Then again, I let my kids play in the front yard sometimes...bad bad mom.

The parents in question. I originally thought they were literally feet form their door, which I didn't see a problem with(I would not do it, but I can see thinking they would be fine). I'd liek to see a map of the resort, because it sounds like they were much farther away.

 

[sha_lyn]

The parents in question. I originally thought they were literally feet form their door, which I didn't see a problem with(I would not do it, but I can see thinking they would be fine). I'd liek to see a map of the resort, because it sounds like they were much farther away.

after posting I decided to look it up. From what I found, they were 100 yards away from their room/villa. I could not find any information as to whether they could actually see it.

 

[GJM]

Does anyone have a link to the story?

I couldn't do it, I would be so worried that I wouldn't even be able to enjoy myself. From what I understand is they went to dinner while on vacation - even if I was close to the room, I would worry about one of my children waking up and me not being there.

 

[Claire L]

after posting I decided to look it up. From what I found, they were 100 yards away from their room/villa. I could not find any information as to whether they could actually see it.

Here are a couple of articles showing the location as a map and a photograph.

BBC news

BBC news map

Claire

 

[JunieJay]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? Are you saying that YOU do this, or have done this????? They should throw people in freaking jail for that!!!!!

There was a story in recent years of an idiot mom who went into an ATM or something and someone stole her car with a child in it, and the child's back door was not closed all the way and the child, while strapped into its carseat (the carseat had partially fallen out of the car), was DRAGGED DOWN A HIGHWAY while the thief was trying to get away!!!


My DSs are now 19 and 16 and I did not need a news story like that to make me see WHY you don't leave a child unattended in a car. COMMON SENSE told me that you just don't do that. PEOPLE HAVE NO COMMON SENSE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Geez. I guess you better put me in jail for lack of common sense. I've left my child in the car while I paid for gas, as well as used the ATM. The car has not been running and has always been in my sight, but I have done it. It never occurred to me someone thought I was endangering my child for doing so. It seemed to me I'd be endagering my child a lot more by carrying him and trying to pump gas at the same time or use the ATM machine.

Now regarding the OP, I do think people who left children as young as 2 and 4 while they went to dinner in another location were definately negligent. Don't know the whole story, but if this is it, then yes, I'd say they are looking at child neglect charges at the very least.

 

[Kath2003]

Firstly, the Brits are wondering what the parents were thinking leaving three pre-schoolers alone in a holiday apartment. It is NOT common practice here OR in Portugal to leave children alone!

Secondly, yes, the parents were stupid, but they are the ones that have to live with that for the rest of their life. They don't need their mistake continually highlighted. What they are going through must be awful, and I can't imagine having further guilt placed upon them in that situation.

Thirdly, they thought they were safe but seriously, abduction should have been the LAST thing on their mind. My mind would have gone to a child waking up after a nightmare, a child falling out of bed, a child waking up vomiting or ill, a fire...

 

[momof3disneyholics]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I would never leave my 10 year old and 7 year old twins alone while I ate dinner, esp. in a foreign country. I wouldn't leave the responsibility up to my child on whether or not to open the door to a stranger.
My guess is that someone was watching the parents and knew those children were by themselves.

 

[GJM]

Thanks for the story - if by looking at the map correctly, it looks like the restaurant is on the other side of the pool from their apartment. Never in a million years would I leave my 2 & 4 year old alone. I don't care if you can see the apartment, it would still take time for you to get there. I wouldn't go sit in my neighbors backyard 2 doors down even if I could see my house.

Maybe it is me and I worry too much. What if you child woke up and was calling for you and it was after you checked on them. They would sit there for a half an hour until you came back?

What a sad story.

 

[ducklite]

I'm sure if that happened here, many people would have called CPS. And they'd want the parents charged with some kind of crime because they wouldn't feel the parents had suffered enough for their pleasure.

Actually "people" wouldn't have had to call CPS. As soon as the police learned that they had left the children alone while they went to dinner, as mandated reporters they would have made the call, and I can guarantee CPS would have removed the other children immediately, and done further investigation later. Based on my experience working in the DSS Dept of Law, those parents would have been out on probation and made to take parenting classes and potentially taken other steps before the children would have been returned to them.

Just because someone does something stupid, even if they acknowldege that it was stupid, they don't automatically get to keep their kids.

I worked on a similar case--mom and dad had gone to a house party about half a block away and left a 6 year old, a three year old and an infant home sleeping. The three year old woke up and left the house, he was found by another neighbor a few blocks away. When the neighbor went to the house and the parents didn't answer the door (the cars were in the driveway), she called the police thinking something had happened inside the house. The children were removed that night, the parents charged with neglect, and it took them numerous court hearings, parenting classes, home investigations, probation and some other things to get their kids back--almost two years later.

Anne

 

[emily1982]

I don't think you can compare the law of 2 completley different countries, i probably wouldn't have done what they did but they are going through a nightmare. I don't think this thread should be about comparing 'parenting skills' because their are many neglectful ways people bring children up, feeding them fast food all the time, not taking them to school etc...yes these consquences are different but at the end of the day it's still neglect.

The other day another poster put a thread about maddie just highlighting the case and hardly anyone replied, but when their is an argument involved people respond quickly...i'm not putting everyone under the same cloak...but thats just what i've observed. There is a poster on the sky news website if anyone wants to email it to all their contacts, i'm sure the family would be grateful.

 

[pearlieq]

It's not that I don't feel badly for the parents or they can use all the help in the world to get their child back, but I remember being appalled they left their kids alone like that.

I just can't even wrap my head around a mindset where it's OK to leave a toddler and pre-schooler alone in a strange hotel room in a foreign country. I hope their kid is found, but I hope she's not just handed back to them as if nothing is wrong.

 

[sha_lyn]

Thank you for the links Claire....

The more I learn, the more I wonder what in the world were they thinking.
However all the criticism in the world isn't going to change what happened
I just hope and pray Maddie is found alive.
Hopefully the coverage the story has received will be enough to keep other parents from making similar mistakes.

 

[allison443]

Thirdly, they thought they were safe but seriously, abduction should have been the LAST thing on their mind. My mind would have gone to a child waking up after a nightmare, a child falling out of bed, a child waking up vomiting or ill, a fire...

I agree with this! Or what if the 2 year old cried and the 3 year old tried to go for help, etc. Also after looking at the photo and map linked by a previous poster, the restaurant is much further away than I thought, from the impression I had from earlier articles. Even if there is a direct line of sight from the restaurant to front door of the apartment, were they sitting there staring at the door the whole time. I doubt it.
A number of years ago parents in NJ left their kids home alone sleeping while they attended a party at a neighbor's house-just a few houses away. While they were gone their 6 year old daughter was horribly murdered-by the teenage son of another neighbor (he was supposedly emotionally disturbed). It was a horrible case.

That said, I'm sure the guilt the parents feel is worse than any other punishment they could receive.

 

[emily1982]

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91210-1266272,00.html

There is a poster in a number of languages on this site if anyone could download it to their contacts. Thanks

 

[VSL]

Leaving your kids alone as the McCann's did is NOT common practice in Europe and the UK. Also, these parents are pretty well-educated (Gerry McCann - the father - is one of the top heart specialists in Europe and a consultant cardiologist at Glenfield Hospital, 'a centre of excellence for heart surgery in the UK') and are not extremely young parents, so they should have definitely known what they were doing.

The tabloids might be playing nice at the moment, but everyone I've spoken to has been appalled at how these parents behaved.

 

[Planogirl]

Why does it matter if they were left alone in a foreign country? I wouldn't leave a child that young alone in any country including the U.S. I guess that I don't understand that comment.

 

[sha_lyn]

Why does it matter if they were left alone in a foreign country? I wouldn't leave a child that young alone in any country including the U.S. I guess that I don't understand that comment.

ITA.... also I know come of the British terminology is different that American so I might be misunderstanding part of it.
I am under the impression that this is a vacation home/apartment that they own and visit often. Not exactly like they are in a strange foreign land that they aren't familiar with.

 

[VSL]

I am under the impression that this is a vacation home/apartment that they own and visit often.

Actually, I think it was just a regular hotel apartment, rented for the duration of the stay (but I may be wrong!).

 

[Claire L]

Actually, I think it was just a regular hotel apartment, rented for the duration of the stay (but I may be wrong!).

Yes you are right Mark Warner are a tour operator and own quite a few holiday complexes in various countries. I have a feeling it was the first time the McCann family had stayed there.

Claire