Miscarriage ? (probably TMI in some parts..)

[momof2inPA]

After people started telling me about how they (or someone they knew) got pregnant so quickly after the D&C, I figured that maybe scraping old tissue away might help.

I've always wondered if a D&C doesn't help with implantation.

To OP- Sorry for your loss. It hurts to put away all the dreams and hopes you would have had for your new baby. I'm sure some of your family is just staying away so you have time to grieve.

 

[ellyn2000]

I went through an identical tragedy--twice. Had to have D&C first time as was farther than 10 weeks, but not second time. Oldest was 5, too. Just told him that we thought we were going to "get" a baby but it would be awhile longer. Then went on to have 2 more healthy, beautiful children who are now 17 & 16. I'm sorry for you but do not give up hope. Dr. told me that 1 out of 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage and sometimes the odds are higher. No particular reason. I'll be thinking of you.

 

[kidshop]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but you see you have a lot of company! My second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I had a D&C b/c my body had not yet recognized the pregnancy had ended. I did get pg 6 weeks later (at WDW no less), and went on to have a perfectly normal pg. I did not tell anyone I was pg until 18 weeks though! I know that is a little overboard! I just want to say again that it just happens that way sometimes. There is no reason to it and it is no one's fault. It just happens, and when it does it hurts. I hope you find some comfort in these stories.

 

[lecach]

I havent read all the posts. Just wanted to let you know that it happened to me and I had to have a D&C because I wasnt bleeding or anything. The D&C was done on Dec. 26 and on March 29 I conceived again and have a beautiful healthy 11 month old son. I was charting so I knew EXACTLY when the conception occurred. I still think about the pregnancy that ended ocassionally. You'll always remember the due date, and probably the date you found out the bad news like I do. I know your pain and I am so sorry for it.

With that first pregnancy I had told a lot of people at work and our two moms. It was SO hard telling everyone when we lost our pregnancy. So with the second one we told NO ONE until 11 weeks - when we had seen our little tater tot on ultrasound twice. It was hard not to tell - but worth it for us.

 

[momofbuzzfan]

I am sorry for your loss. I too miscarried baby #2 and #3. The first one, I had had some light blood tinged discharge. The doctor didn't seem too concerned. We went for an ultrasound at 9 weeks and found the baby had died at around 6 weeks. My doctor wanted me to try to let the miscarriage happen naturally. I waited almost three weeks for it to "happen" It was VERY painful (not to scare you) and I had a lot of trouble with bleeding (I ended up in the ER twice). But I did not need a D&C. It was a pretty horrible time. A friend of mine had a similar situation and ended up with a D&C and still had bleeding problems so I really can't advice you on what is best. I have heard that you can have retained tissue with both a D&C and having a natural miscarriage. (that is what happened to my friend so I think they had to do another D&C.) The second miscarriage was a few months after the first. I had just took a pregnancy test and the next day started to bleed. Physically that one was much easier, like a heavy period.
This is a tough thing to go through that unfortunately not too many understand unless you have gone through it. I remember, having a hard time with the fact that no one knew what to say so know one said anything. For me it helped to talk about it, yet it made others uncomfortable so I felt like everyone was avoiding me like I had a disease or something. I found it hard too, that my husband and I grieved differently. I wanted him to be able to feel my pain yet I knew he could never really understand what it was like for me. I have a picture of my first baby and that helps me. I also planted a tree (my favorite kind) in memory of the babies I lost. I would like to encourage you that this is a season and as long as it may seem, it will pass, but won't be forgotten. It has been 3 1/2 years now and I now have 2 more children that are living. Those pregnancies were hard (I had bleeding with each one), but I have 3 beautiful children that I am so grateful for. May God be with you and your familiy during this time.

 

[Drizzo67]

Jen - There are no words that I can say that will help to ease your pain. I too miscarried with my second pregnancy. After having such an easy pregnancy with my DS(now 10) I thought every thing would be just as easy and told anyone I could talk to. In my 12th week I started spotting and getting crampy. Went to the OBGYN and they did an ultrasound. There was no more heart beat (it was there at 8 weeks). I was totally devastated. I thought my life was over. I did opt for a D&C as the pain was getting unbearable. I spent the next two weeks in bed, not answering the phone, almost ignoring my DH and DS. I was determined to join my baby. Thank god for my son. All he knew was Mommy wasn't feeling well and was crying all the time. He just patiently sat on the bed with me, holding my hand, singing all his little boy songs (he was 2 1/2) and rubbing my head like I did for him when he didn't feel good. He once said that maybe god started to send us the wrong baby and took it back to give it to the family that was ready for it and that our baby wasn't ready yet.....out of the mouths of babes. He said it was just like me (I'm adopted). God had me make the baby and then gave it to a family that couldn't make babies. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. That little boy saved me. A year later he got a little sister, who is his best friend and partner in crime. DD (now 6) loves her big brother more than any other person in the world. Maybe he was right...our baby wasn't ready yet. BUT WE HAVE HER NOW.

God bless you and your family. My prayers go out to you.

 

[Tinkerbellmom33]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I miscarried a few years ago with baby #3. I know exactly how you feel. It takes a little time, but it will get easier and you won't feel as bad as you do now. My heart and prayers go out to you...

 

[JenDaveBrendan]

Again, thank you to everyone who shared their experiences and kind thoughts. These boards are great.
Yesterday I passed the baby. It was a horrific experience to say the least. After a couple of hours of excruciating cramps , it happened. Unfortunatly, my DS had to witness all of this since he was home alone with me.
In a weird way, I am relieved, since I will most likely not have to get a D&C (the Dr. was about to put me in for one since I wasn't passing anything), the nurse at the Dr's. office said that was probably it. I see my Dr. on Friday. Today is the first day since I knew I was going to miscarry (about a week and a half ago) that I have felt somewhat"normal" and I am starting to get out of my funk.
We hope to try again in January (give myself time to heal)
Thanks again,

Jen

 

[ToTLaugher]

Hi Jen,

Thanks for giving us the update. I hope your healing goes well for you. You have been in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be. I hope you DH and DS are doing well. Hang in there.

 

[smatt]

Hang in there. I had 2 miscarriages before and after my first child. They were at 9 and 12 weeks. The 2nd miscarriage was 4 days before Christmas and the staff actually wished me a Merry Christmas. I had a difficult time getting pregnant- but last summer I had my 3rd child- a daughter whose pregnancy was a total surprise. I did not have to have a D & C - the best thing you can do for yourself is to not blame yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you- feel free to PM if you need to talk.


Shelley

 

[kc10family]

I just have to add my experience.

I MC’ed at about 12 weeks, first pregnancy After going back to have blood taken to check HCG levels for over a month I was sent in for a Dusting & Cleaning (a.k.a D&C) because my levels hadn’t dropped enough and they thought I had something left over inside. So D&C comes and goes and I go back to the blood deal for HCG level checks…. I am still running HIGH. (to the doc, this means I could have cancer) I am sent to visit the OB oncologist and we go over all my medical history. Did I say I am military and took many anthrax shots… (uuhh) So we talk about cancer treatment, mind you I am pissed that first I lost a baby and now it is trying to kill me. Ok… the deal is after MANY MANY vials of blood and internet searches.. the Doc says he thinks I am fine and wants to do t Preg test via urine. Whatever! It came out neg! So I have ONE more vial of blood taken and it gets sent out to some special lab where it was tested against many different prego tests. I came out neg on all but the type my hospital uses. After all this (5 months) it turns out that I have antibodies to the prego test my hospital uses. I was then apart of a medical study because this was very different and at the time only 12 cases of this type of cancer had been sited in the US. The fininds were published in a med mag in Nov 2001.
I now share with anyone who will listen, that if you have high HCG levels when the doc thinks it should be low… GET A URINE TEST, home prego tests work fine. Then tell you doc and have them test your blood against more than one type of prego tests.

I now have 2 DD's 4 in Jan and just turned 2 end of Sep.


If you have questions, pm me.



Best wishes to all who have lost a child before birth.

I am sorry I didn't tell you about the day to day blood loss and cramps, but to this day I cry buckets (as I am now) about it. It was one of the worst things. Peace be with you all. I feel like we are all one big family in this issue.

 

[j_rgonz]

I'm so sorry. We thought we'd have no problem getting pregnant, since #1 was unexpected. After much trying we were thrilled to expect #2. The bleeding started on Friday, cramps Sunday and I lost the baby at work on Monday. Hadn't told anyone. It was hard. My bosses daughter had a baby the day I lost mine, and when she brought it to work, they were afraid to show me. I really think the hardest part was also "losing" friends. We had to tell one friend we might be losing a baby and when we did, we never heard from them. That was devistating, when you tell people what happened, and they really act like they don't care. I didn't need a D & C luckily. But then ended up having to go to a fertility clinic and lots of fertility treatments before the birth of our beautiful daughter.

I too looked for a support group when I lost my baby but was not able to find one. I first went to a loss group at the hospital and found my self surrounded by people that lost their babies that were born alive. I felt completley crazy complaining about a miscarriage after hearing their stories. I next contacted my church and never had any of my 3 calls returned.

Also, be prepared for the due date. That still is hard for me.

Good luck in now and the future. If there's anyting I can do, PM me.

Jeanne

 

[1sttimeWDW]

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time I am so sorry for your loss. I too have had a miscarriage. Please know you are never alone....www.silentgrief.com

Blessings,

Galen

 

[can'twait]

Oh, Jordan's Mom, I'm crying! Giving a gift for her is such a sweet gesture.

I have not had this experience, but I have a friend who lost 2 sets of twins in the 5th month, and I know she was traumatized. She just had a little boy 8 weeks early in September and didn't tell anybody for a few days. My heart just goes out to her. I can't imagine what she went through. The little guy is doing well as far as I know. We all rushed out to get sleepers and diapers and stuffed toys for him! He's a little miracle!

 

[Mom to Jordan]

Can't wait,
My prayer is that this idea can help someone else heal. I went today to find an angel but the only 10 year old girl just did not feel right. I am going to another mall tomorrow and I will know the right one when I find it.

Please also know how much buying for that newborn miracle meant to that mom. My "other" baby was born at 24 weeks. 16 weeks early. Very tiny and very sick. The first outfit I got was a tiny little blue dressy outfit that was WAY too big but it gave such great joy to know someone else had faith that he would make it!!!!

Make it he did and 13 years later that 1 1/2 pound, 11 inch child is 5'6''. 130 pound , makes all A's most of the time and is 100% normal.I Know that outfit did not make it happen but it gave me so much hope.
You were a great friend.

Jordan's ,mom