poohbear1029-
Like you I am glad this thread did not become a major argument, especially since I was the first to "disagree." Based on what I have been reading, you have gotten some awesome advice, and your DH sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders.
If you have the time, here is my full story...
DH is a fighter pilot. Within the AF, there are non-pilots and pilots which you know. Within the pilot community, there are fighter pilots, then there is everyone else. This is not to say anything bad about non-pilots (I am one of the non-pilot types) or non-fighter pilots, but if you have been around pilots, you can feel those categories. Anyway, I was well on my way with my AF career, swearing I would never even date a fighter pilot, much less marry one. And I did hold true to that conviction until I met DH.
When we were dating, most of the wives were nice women who accepted me for me. However, there were those few out there that considered me a second class citizen because I was merely a girlfriend/fiancee, not a wife. In fact, I was invited to a wives coffee before DH and I got married. I attended, then later was told I should not have attended since DH and I were not married yet. My response, " Then why the H#($ was I invited?". No good response to that.
After DH and I got married, the same women who didn't want me at the coffee before our wedding wanted to be my best friends. At which point I decided that I did not have the time to deal with women like that. Fortunately, we PCSed 5 months later. At the new base, I was fortunate to find other professional wives. I started attending squadron wives functions when I could, but I shunned the OWC. That was not my deal.
At the unit we are in now, most of the women are professional women who are my age. Their kids are the same age as my kids and most of us have opted out of the professional world for an extended period of time to be with our kids. Our husbands deploy together, so we form our own support group. Despite the differences in our backgrounds, the similarities in our current situation draw us together. Fortunately in te ANG, the OWC is not a factor; however, we do have a few women who consider their husbands career their own. I feel fortunate to know these women, even the ones who wear their husband's career on their sleeves. If nothing else, they have showed me what NOT to do as DH progresses in his career. LOL
As for my military career, I probably have one more promotion in my future, but only if I start playing the political games erquired of military memebers, not spouses. If I get that promotion, I will be happy to retire my military career in another 7 years. If not, I will still retire in 7 years; I will just be disappointed.
Enjoy your marriage, and remember that it is always more impotant that your career or your DH's career. By the way, if Popdaddy reads this post...sorry so long!