MIL Vent!!!!

[CRAZEDMOMOF2]

Maybe she is at work. Didn't you see that her husband is staying with their daughter today and that he is working on the house? Come on here - give her a break! The woman just wanted to let off a little steam.

I'm a wife and mother of 2.

I work and I go to school.

We live in a home that is 4800sqft.

This is definitely not a BRAG, but only to use as an example that people don't have to live in filth just because they work. They're women who have 6 kids-work and keep a decent house

This isn't against Becka and her mil problems, I'm just speaking in general about people who make excuses about cleaning.

 

[disykat]

Your MIL blew it. She had the opportunity to do something totally generous by being willing to help you in a tight spot. Instead she had to turn into something that is stressful for everyone. I think she's trying to impress someone (herself?) into thinking that she's needed right this minute. It's pretty sad if you think about it. It's a passive aggressive way of gaining control over the situation - a situation that's not really in her control.

Hopefully you can find a way to appreciate her help, while fending off any passive aggressive statements with some of your own. "We're so glad you could help us out on Wednesday, it's too bad we weren't able to be ready for you." "It's so nice you were able to help us out - this time." "I'm so glad you came a day early, now you can watch ds while we focus on dd." ( HEE HEE This is fun!)

Once my inlaws drove eight hours, only to ring our broken doorbell and get no answer. They dropped presents with my neighbor, who then called me to find out what was up. I jumped up from where I was napping in the back bedroom with both kids, but they were long gone. They drove home another eight hours and had a great story about how they drove 16 hours and I didn't answer the door - leaving out the fact that they had never told us they were coming and had no clue they were there. Apparently having more ammo against me was more important to them than actually seeing the kids. I understand passive aggressive!

 

[disykat]

I'm a wife and mother of 2.

I work and I go to school.

We live in a home that is 4800sqft.

This is definitely not a BRAG, but only to use as an example that people don't have to live in filth just because they work. They're women who have 6 kids-work and keep a decent house

This isn't against Becka and her mil problems, I'm just speaking in general about people who make excuses about cleaning.

Wow - who said Becka lived in filth? That was mean spirited! Just because your house isn't company ready doesn't mean you live in filth!

 

[lulugirl]

I'm a wife and mother of 2.

I work and I go to school.

We live in a home that is 4800sqft.

This is definitely not a BRAG, but only to use as an example that people don't have to live in filth just because they work. They're women who have 6 kids-work and keep a decent house

This isn't against Becka and her mil problems, I'm just speaking in general about people who make excuses about cleaning.

 

[mommaU4]

Becka, I say don't go home, don't read this thread anymore, leave work early and come visit me and we'll go get a drink. Something tells me your going to need one soon.

Good luck with it all and hope the kiddo is better real quick.

 

[momrek06]

I'm a wife and mother of 2.

I work and I go to school.

We live in a home that is 4800sqft.

This is definitely not a BRAG, but only to use as an example that people don't have to live in filth just because they work. They're women who have 6 kids-work and keep a decent house

This isn't against Becka and her mil problems, I'm just speaking in general about people who make excuses about cleaning.

OK NOW.... WOW and UNNECESSARY

 

[becka]

mommaU4...last week at the grocery store I ran across those little 4 packs of pre-made margaritas. I buy alcohol maybe once a year and for some reason I felt compelled to buy them. I still have not had one but I think a higher power was telling me at the time that I was going to need them. Now I know why....

While my house is really pretty bad I don't think the Health Department is quite ready to shut me down and take my kids yet. I am sure we get at least a few more warnings...

Actually I have passed on my bad traits to my DS. Whenever I start cleaning DS always asks me, "Is someone coming over to our house?" Nothing like starting them young.....

 

[mickeyboat]

I'm a wife and mother of 2.

I work and I go to school.

We live in a home that is 4800sqft.

This is definitely not a BRAG, but only to use as an example that people don't have to live in filth just because they work. They're women who have 6 kids-work and keep a decent house

This isn't against Becka and her mil problems, I'm just speaking in general about people who make excuses about cleaning.

First, I don't think becka said she lives in filth.
Second, I think part of the mess is because becka is sorting through some clothes. It probably isn't always like that.
Third, I keep a decent house, too. It's important to me. But I have to admit, it does take some time away that I could be spending with my kids. If becka - or anyone else for that matter - chooses to spend their time with their kids instead of making sure the house is spotless, who can blame them?
Fourth - Her daughter is sick. I think I would rather spend time with my sick child than clean, wouldn't you?

Denae

 

[CRAZEDMOMOF2]

Wow - who said Becka lived in filth? That was mean spirited! Just because your house isn't company ready doesn't mean you live in filth!

I don't know how Becka lives. I'm only going by the description she posted of her house.

As far as the mean spirited comment I do believe that's way over the top. I don't know Becka from Adam. With that said, I hope you understand that I have no reason to be mean to Becka for any reason.

 

[becka]

Maybe I should take pictures of my house just to shock some of you?

Actually I already admitted that I am not a good housekeeper and I do hate cleaning. I sometimes wish I put more emphasis in keeping a "decent house" (by that I mean company ready) because it might mean less stress but I would still find things to do that would drive me crazy whenever we would have guests. I used to hire Merry Maids to come in every two weeks and I drove myself crazy the night before they came to my house to clean it. I felt the need to clean for the cleaning company. How is that for messed up?

During the week I just keep things picked up a little and do most of the cleaning on the weekends. Well like I said I was lazy this weekend and then yesterday DH was goine and DD was sick so I took extra care of her when she was awake and when she was sleeping I decided to spend some quality time with DS instead of cleaning. I know playing games was more fun for me and even knowing what I know now about having guests I still wouldn't change my afternoon with DS. I started teaching him to play Disney Sorry! and we also got to play Memory, Candyland and Cootie. We had a blast even if we have to live in "filth".

 

[momrek06]

Whenever I start cleaning DS always asks me, "Is someone coming over to our house?" Nothing like starting them young.....

HEY BECKA: Your DS sounds exactly like my DS.....

I have just learned to "CHILL OUT" as far as the house is concerned....YUP, I am chilled out and loving it 24/7....

 

[mommaU4]

mommaU4...last week at the grocery store I ran across those little 4 packs of pre-made margaritas. I buy alcohol maybe once a year and for some reason I felt compelled to buy them. I still have not had one but I think a higher power was telling me at the time that I was going to need them. Now I know why....

While my house is really pretty bad I don't think the Health Department is quite ready to shut me down and take my kids yet. I am sure we get at least a few more warnings...

Actually I have passed on my bad traits to my DS. Whenever I start cleaning DS always asks me, "Is someone coming over to our house?" Nothing like starting them young.....

Good girl. Keep your sense of humor.

I actually don't clean. Then my twins couldn't practice writing their ABC's in the dust on the coffee table. I look at it as helping the environment by cutting back on paper waste.
Just doing my part.

Let me know how those margaritas are.

 

[becka]

Hey, come to think of it haven't they just released some info saying that it is not the healthiest for kids to live in a spotless house free from germs? They need that dirt to grow up with healthy immune systems and so they won't be allergic to every little thing.

I am just doing my part for my kids' health! In fact these little mystery fevers must be proof my plan is working!!!

On a more serious note I do hate these fevers. They just show up and leave a few days later without any other symptoms. I used to run to the doctor for them but I got tired of hearing it was a viral "thing" and we just had to wait it out. At least I am a lot more calm about my kids' illnesses the second time around. Besides I already have her next well baby check up on Thursday so if she is still sick then I already have the appointment. However, I do hope she is feeling better long before Thursday afternoon. I hate it when my babies are sick.

 

[mommaU4]

Maybe I should take pictures of my house just to shock some of you?

Actually I already admitted that I am not a good housekeeper and I do hate cleaning. I sometimes wish I put more emphasis in keeping a "decent house" (by that I mean company ready) because it might mean less stress but I would still find things to do that would drive me crazy whenever we would have guests. I used to hire Merry Maids to come in every two weeks and I drove myself crazy the night before they came to my house to clean it. I felt the need to clean for the cleaning company. How is that for messed up?

During the week I just keep things picked up a little and do most of the cleaning on the weekends. Well like I said I was lazy this weekend and then yesterday DH was goine and DD was sick so I took extra care of her when she was awake and when she was sleeping I decided to spend some quality time with DS instead of cleaning. I know playing games was more fun for me and even knowing what I know now about having guests I still wouldn't change my afternoon with DS. I started teaching him to play Disney Sorry! and we also got to play Memory, Candyland and Cootie. We had a blast even if we have to live in "filth".

YAY, I wanna see some pics!!!

Just kidding.
No need to explain. Who cares?

Clean house, not clean house, what difference does it make. No one here has a house that is perfect all the time. I like this saying myself:

And as far as the MIL issue, don't let that stress you out either. It is what it is. MIL's can be great and then they can be royal pains. What can you do?

I do hope your DD gets better though. I know how hard that is to see your child sick.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

If my MIL did that, I would FREAK! It's just my nature.

Congrats on the new tag! Hope DD is feeling better.

Lori

 

[Beth76]

Hey, come to think of it haven't they just released some info saying that it is not the healthiest for kids to live in a spotless house free from germs? They need that dirt to grow up with healthy immune systems and so they won't be allergic to every little thing.

Yes, YES!!! See we are doing something right, Becka. And I like what you said before. When on your deathbed you're not going to wish you spent more time cleaning.

I don't know how Becka lives. I'm only going by the description she posted of her house.

She hardly described her house as filthy. But we sure did get a good description of your house, didn't we? Welcome to the DIS, btw.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

becka, I haven't read all the posts. just wanted to say don't worry about the house and what your MIL thinks about it.
I could give a crap what people think about my house and how we live.

just remember your mil will go back home in a few days.
unfortunety relatives do come with the spouses.

 

[Snow Brite]

Greet her warmly, order take-out and let her fold the laundry!

This is awesome advice! When she gets there you say "Wow! Thanks for coming early to help me catch up with the house before the party this weekend since I have been so busy with DD!" Then let her at it. Hand her the clean sheets for the spare bed when she is done folding the laundry on it. When she is done with that, she can finish up the dishes, or vacuum, or dust. She is there to help, remember! You find a nice cozy spot to curl up with your DD and drink your margarita and eat the take out pizza while you take care of your sick daughter and she takes care of the house.

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

This is awesome advice! When she gets there you say "Wow! Thanks for coming early to help me catch up with the house before the party this weekend since I have been so busy with DD!" Then let her at it. Hand her the clean sheets for the spare bed when she is done folding the laundry on it. When she is done with that, she can finish up the dishes, or vacuum, or dust.

This is a great plan.

I hope your daughter feels better. Try not to worry about the house, it's so hard to maintain with children, nevermind a sick child.

Take advantage if you can.

As far as MIL, I'm sorry she has these issues. But I don't think she left early in any mean-spiritedness. She's probably unaware of the bedlam she's caused.

 

[INDISMOM]

Hey, come to think of it haven't they just released some info saying that it is not the healthiest for kids to live in a spotless house free from germs? They need that dirt to grow up with healthy immune systems and so they won't be allergic to every little thing.

I am just doing my part for my kids' health! In fact these little mystery fevers must be proof my plan is working!!!

Hey -- I have proof of that! My DSIL is a clean freak -- she washes all of her walls down and all of her windows at least once a week! My niece is the sickest kid I know!

Then there is me, the house gets a good cleaning about once every week or so (do I hear 2??). And my 2nd grader has only been absent from school 1 day in 3 years!! DH and I try to keep up, but we just end up playing with the kids. It's getting better now that the kids are older, so have faith!


P.S. EVERYONE in my family knows they have to call before they come over!! DH made that very clear to MIL after a few too many stressful blowups by me