MIL Situation

[java]

To those that have offered to take a single child or just a few of the children on a trip.... and think they are doing a wonderful thing- yes you are to one child- the rest of them will be crushed. I can see why you wouldn't think about that because hey they are not your kids. But the ones left behind will be so miserable that the pain left behind isn't worth it for one to go. So I am a All of none vote. Yes children learn that they don't all get the same all the time- but a trip with Grandma is different very different. One thing if say she said when you turn 12 I will take you alone to disney- to each child- but to say to one- oh you already went EXACTLY and he will know what he is missing out on. I think she is being mean. I threw a hairy fit to my Mom when she sent Valentine's cards to 3 of my children but didn't send one to my oldest"Oh he wouldn't want a card from his grandmother on Valentine's day" (He was 10!!!) Oh he did. He was deeply hurt by being left out and when I explained it to him the way she explained it to me he replied "then I guess she really doesn't know me" Sorry but sometimes your generous offer can cause more heartache than it is worth.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

all or none, that's the way it works here. Then again, now i wouldn't be to sure if i would let any go.

 

[antmaril]

I would tell her unless you take all three of them, none of them are going..

I agree. All three of them are going to WDW or none of them are going - period. It is not negotiable and the MIL should be ashamed of herself for even suggesting it - IMHO.

 

[CanadianPaco]

I agree - all or none.
Imagine how hurtful & damaging this will be if the 11-year-old is left home.
I fear this could have a long-term detrimental affect on him.

Also, someone needs to have a serious conversation with the MIL. I would be worried about her not treating the boys equally when others are not around.

Good luck.

Perfectly said!!

 

[GoinToDisney]

At first I thought all three or none. Then I though, maybe not even all three.

I'm guessing the mother is not going. Even at this point, if the MIL agreed to take the 11 year old I am not sure I would let him go. When they get down there would he be treated like a second class citizen by her because "he has been there before"?

I agree. I'd say nevermind. I wouldn't leave any of my kids alone with a person like that.

 

[misshilda1]

1st off whether it's my mother or MIL they better darn sure clear anything pertaining to something of this nature with me before telling my kids anything. 2nd off all if you can't take them all (after someone even offered to help the expense) than your behind shouldn't take one single solitary one of them I don't care your reasons or who has been where before. Those children are all 3 her grandkids and if she can't love respect and treat them the same then she'd not have the opportunity to treat them anyway at all. My MIL treated my nephew special above all the other grandkids who are within 2 years of each other. She would treat him as if he were her son and the other grandkids were the neighbors. She would take him places buy him special things and throw him birthday parties and stuff and not do anything for my kids or my other 2 sister in laws. And all the grandkids live 10 minutes from her and all went to visit as much as this one nephew. She would even give him money in front of the others and tell them no if they asked so my husband and I told her if she couldn't treat them all the same then she could stay away from ours until she felt that they were worthy of her.We were not gonna make our kids feel different or unwanted. Three years went by and the kids never knew the difference. We sent cards, and letters and tried to be human and now my MIL has relized her mistakes and cherishes the lost time and each moment. I would tell my friend to save up and take her own kids and tell MIL to take her butt to where she wants and stay there......

 

[tinyrip]

I'd want to the grandma and find out why she only wants to take the younger 2. she may be thinking about the high speed rides the older one would want to go on and what would she do, the younger one's may not be able to ride and she may not want to get on the ride herself. she may think that the older one has already been and it would be nice to take the younger one's on a trip to remember.

I have 3 nieces. i'm taking the youngest niece to the world, i'd love to take the older two. but they aren't actually mine. and in mixed families they're are other people who get to have opinions in this. like the girls natural father. who wont let us have the older ones.

I wonder if there are things about this situation we dont know about.