MIL did it again!

[DawnCt1]

Of course I am not surprised. I was just surprised that the DS#4 were surprised. We went to my SIL's on Christmas Eve and my MIL was there handing out the Christmas cards. I generally take the large envelope with everyone's gift and hand them out later. My niece and nephews were anxious to open their cards and they did. Very pleased with the $50 bills that they received they shared their excitement, particularly the 12 year old. Our DSs, 3 of whom were there, waited until they got home to open their cards. As typical, they received their usual $10. DS#1,2,3 laughed and said, "I guess we aren't the favorite grandkids again this year". DS#4 was shocked. My comment to him was, "why are you surprised? This has been the case since the day you were born". While those kids got $50, they are not the favorite grandchildren. The two children of her DD are the favorite, so they received at least $100 each.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm sorry--but that is craptastic.

 

[krcit]

Unbelievable!

 

[MickeysMommy]

Wow. I'm sorry.

 

[Pooh's Pixie]

Wow, that's awful. Next time you should let your DSs open it in front of her and say, "hey, how come they got more?" If she is rude enough to do that then she deserves a little comeuppance, if you know what I mean!!!!

 

[Stacerita]

I agree. Next time let them open them in front of her and let her deal with the question of why so and so got more.

 

[Mermaid02]

Does she do it because your dh is a physician and figures your kids have more than the others? It's totally crappy either way- I was just wondering if that is her mentality.

 

[Jennasis]

Wow, that's awful. Next time you should let your DSs open it in front of her and say, "hey, how come they got more?" If she is rude enough to do that then she deserves a little comeuppance, if you know what I mean!!!!

I like it...I like it alot.

 

[tinatark]

Does she do it because they're "older"? In DH's family, once a kid graduates from HS, they go into the gift exchange, instead of getting gifts from the aunts/uncles.

Or, does she think because your dh is a MD, they don't "need" the same $ as the other grandchildren?

Either way, stinks for them!

 

[DawnCt1]

Wow, that's awful. Next time you should let your DSs open it in front of her and say, "hey, how come they got more?" If she is rude enough to do that then she deserves a little comeuppance, if you know what I mean!!!!

You don't know how I wished that I did. It is one thing to slip a grandchild something extra when no one is looking, but when you hand out cards at a Christmas Eve family event, KNOWING that some will open their gifts, it is CRUEL. One year she returned from Fla with Pee Wee Herman clothes, right after Pee Wee Herman had been arrested for indecent exposure and JC Penney's wanted to get rid of the merchandise. The clothes were ugly and no way were my kids going to wear any of them considering the sexual nature of the arrest. I gathered them all up; enough for 4 kids and returned them. With the proceeds I was able to buy ONE PAIR of OshKosh overalls, toddler size. She called the next day and said that she had made a terrible mistake. Half of the items were were sister's, for her sister's granchildren. I told her that I returned them and bought something else. She said, "OMG what am I going to do?" I said, "I have no idea".

 

[JerseyJanice]

That could be acceptable if these grandchildren or their parents were in need of financial assistance, but I think if that were the case, you'd have said so, Dawn.

What I am surprised about is that she allowed the envelopes to be opened if the amounts weren't equal. It's not good manners to open monetary gifts when among others and announce the amount of $. She and/or the parents of these kids ought to have said as much and tried to prevent it.

 

[MizTink]

i couldn't imagine!!! in my family,everybody's so careful to be fare, especially the kids. at least to our faces!!!

 

[Kae]

That could be acceptable if these grandchildren or their parents were in need of financial assistance, but I think if that were the case, you'd have said so, Dawn.

What I am surprised about is that she allowed the envelopes to be opened if the amounts weren't equal. It's not good manners to open monetary gifts when among others and announce the amount of $. She and/or the parents of these kids ought to have said as much and tried to prevent it.

I have to disagree. If she chooses to do this she should mail the cards, not that it makes it any better.

This is one of those life lesson things you can use to teach your kids.

Kae

 

[dalt01]

i am pretty confrontational and would have long ago addressed the issue head on. if she didnt like it screw 'er. i dont need that kind of crap in my life............sorry but that really ticked me off........as a matter of fact give me her # and i will tell her what i think of her............and i understand that usually there is an underlying issue among the adults but that should never filter down to the kids......is there a long festering problem at the adult level?

 

[DawnCt1]

That could be acceptable if these grandchildren or their parents were in need of financial assistance, but I think if that were the case, you'd have said so, Dawn.

What I am surprised about is that she allowed the envelopes to be opened if the amounts weren't equal. It's not good manners to open monetary gifts when among others and announce the amount of $. She and/or the parents of these kids ought to have said as much and tried to prevent it.

Which is why I hung onto the envelopes. My mother always did things fairly, and I would tell her, my boys have lots of hand me down clothes, my nephew doesn't. "Don't feel you need to buy DS#4 something if you get DN something." My mother spent tons of time with our kids. She only saw my DN a few times a year due to distance. Also, just to add, if there are financial hardships, and there aren't. It is better to assist with those through out the year, and not just at Christmas.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

I have no respect for grandparents who blatantly exhibit such favoritism. I was the first grandchild, and my grandma would tell me in private that I had an extra special place in their heart. I would never have wanted my cousins to know that for fear of hurting their feelings. Hey, for all I know she may have been telling each of us that. It's nice to feel special, but not at the expense of other family members feelings.

 

[RitaZ.]

Are the other grandchildren younger than your boys? Then again, you said it has always been the same way.

My kids get nothing, not even a card, from DH's only sister. We send $ to her granddaughter, who is now 20. We don't do it because we feel obligated to do so. She is really trying to break away on her own, away from the dysfunction that she has known her entire life. It's a lot easier to remain in that mental malaise than face the world to make it on your own. We have to applaud and support her desire to be independent

 

[nmmom95]

That's so mean! My sister and I were not the favorites on my dad's side and it hurts your feeling when you're a kid. My grandparents were the same way, the kids they liked better got better gifts.

 

[DawnCt1]

i am pretty confrontational and would have long ago addressed the issue head on. if she didnt like it screw 'er. i dont need that kind of crap in my life............sorry but that really ticked me off........as a matter of fact give me her # and i will tell her what i think of her............and i understand that usually there is an underlying issue among the adults but that should never filter down to the kids......is there a long festering problem at the adult level?

Actually, one year i did. She gave DS#4 a Christmas present and ignored the other three. I knew that they would be at the same New Years Party that were were at, so I returned DS#4's gift, which was a gift certificate to Kaybee Toys. I told her that if she couldn't treat everyone the same, she needed the gift more than DS#4 did and that he didn't want it, if his brothers got nothing for Christmas. The gift reappeared however. When DS#4 had a palate revision (he had a cleft palate), she gave it back to him. One would think that a grandmother would recognize the error of her ways and get belated gifts for the ignored kids, but nope. At this point, it is futile. My kids are incredibly polite to her but see her as a "friendly stranger" even though she doesn't live far away. When they lived in Fla. we let them stay at our home while we were in Hawaii one year. We did ask however that she NOT host a "cousins" party which consisted of a lot of elderly people. They did anyway. Imagine the liability we were exposed to if one of them fell en route to our pool.

 

[DawnCt1]

Are the other grandchildren younger than your boys? Then again, you said it has always been the same way.

My kids get nothing, not even a card, from DH's only sister. We send $ to her granddaughter, who is now 20. We don't do it because we feel obligated to do so. She is really trying to break away on her own, away from the dysfunction that she has known her entire life. It's a lot easier to remain in that mental malaise than face the world to make it on your own. We have to applaud and support her desire to be independent

There is a 12 year old; otherwise, they are all roughly the same age.