MIL and HS graduation rant

[Kteacher]

Sorry....just needed to vent My MIL is insisting that we all drive over 4 hrs to attend my niece's HS graduation ceremony. The ceremony is on a Friday at 6, which means that in order to be there for the ceremony I would have to pull my DS16 and DD13 out of school during finals week, and I would have to take a personal day. DD would also miss going to her 8th grade social, an event the kids all look forward to from the time they enter the Middle School. She would also miss her end of the year chorus trip to Boston, something she has been fundraising for all year. My suggestion to my husband was that he make the trip with our oldest, who will be home from college for the summer at that point.What makes it worseis that my BIL and SIL were " too busy " to attend our son's graduation last year

 

[poohandwendy]

I would respectfully decline and send my best wishes. Maybe some flowers or balloons delivered to her house. That is what I would do.

 

[Marseeya]

So, let her insist all she wants. Is she the boss of you?

 

[VanniGirl]

Your idea sounds perfect - why should your kids miss out on things they have looked forward to all year??

 

[powellrj]

after my post a few days ago, I am the last person who should be giving in laws advise, but I would suggest sending DH and your oldest. If they don't want to go, have HIM call him DM and explain it to her. I am much better at giving advice that taking it!!!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

If you can't go, you can't go. Simple as that.

 

[kbkids]

No way would I let my kids miss out on their stuff for that. I can't believe your MIL is insisting that you do. Just say no. If you DH and older son wants to go - fine, if not, I'd just tell her no. HS graduation is important, but doesn't trump what your kids' events are.

 

[aprilgail2]

No way in heck would I drive 4 hours just for a high school graduation. I would certainly not make my kid miss out on something because we had to go to a high school gradutaion either. If your husband wants to go then let him drive there and go on his own if htat would make his mother happy but I would not pull the kids out of school on finals week or make them miss things they had planned.

 

[JESW]

You are under no obligation to go. Please do not take away from your children to go to an event that the niece probably won't even know if you are there or not.

Jill

 

[sweet angel]

Unless there's a vacation on the other end, I don't drive 4 hours for anything.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

No way would I let my kids miss out on their stuff for that. I can't believe your MIL is insisting that you do. Just say no. If you DH and older son wants to go - fine, if not, I'd just tell her no. HS graduation is important, but doesn't trump want your kids' events are.

I totally agree with this thought.

Stand up for your kids and stay home with them.

 

[Mercy]

NO, put your foot down and continue with your own plans. My DS graduated last year, the graduation was beautiful. He graduated from a Catholic HS and the ceremony was held at the cathedral. However, it was LONG and king of BORING, and this was MY OWN son's graduation. We only received a few tickets to the actual graduation anyway.

Now if they have a graduation party for their child then you might want to attend that, that would make more sense to me.

 

[tar heel]

Don't allow your MIL to "insist." If you've been allowing her to make decisions in your life, here's your chance to stop. If it fits for DH and oldest to go, then they should. Just send regrets for the rest of you.

 

[CEDmom]

It sounds like whether the ceremony were 10 minutes or 10 hours away that your kids have events already planned that would preclude all of you from going to the graduation. If your MIL can't understand that than it's her problem. BTW, our does your neice feel about your family not being able to attend?

I'd let your DH handle this one and just ignore your MIL.

 

[ericamanda01]

Forget about your MIL. Do you really think that your DN will care if your there or not? If your not that close, I am willing to bet all she will want is to get through the ceremony and go out with her friends. She probably won't notice who is there or not. Don't take away from your kids just to make your MIL happy. Your MIL sounds like the type of person that if she were to find out that the kids had other plans for the night, she would ask why you made them come.

 

[crz4mm2]

hummmm. Nope, ain't gonna happen. Respectfully decline. Yep. That's what I would do too.
Send a nice card and a check.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Anyone that "insists" needs a kick in the pants, imo. I would explain the deal and that would be that.
School comes first for my kids.

 

[poohandwendy]

I just wanted to ask, when you say she is 'insisting' what do you mean? What did she say to you (or your dh)?

 

[auntpolly]

It would be out of the question for us to pull our child out of school finals week -- what kind of grandma is she???? (Don't mind me, I'm feeling all wired because of the "certified letter from WDW thread! )

 

[Laurajean1014]

Don't go or not go because of what someone did to you - that should not impact your decision (or that means that they control you).

If you don't want to go, straighten it out with your DH and once peace is made, everyone will be happy.

Just understand that relatives may not make your other children's events - and you have to be cool with that.