Midwest Diser's 16th. Birthday Party qestion

[kayrosek]

My soon to be 14 year old is already talking about her 16th birthday party. She's imagining a big sweet sixteen that is totally foreign to me. Where I grew up 16th. birthday partys weren't a big deal. Mine was dinner at a special restaurant with my mom and grandma. I've tried to convince her that what she sees on TV and movies isn't really the norm but it occurred to me that I don't know what the norm around here (MO) is. We've lived here for a few years but for the most part our kids are the oldest in our circle of friends. I know this seems early to ask but she gets her heart set on things and we have to budget for extras. I'd like to plan something special for her when the time comes (would love suggestions to try to get her to consider) but also don't want to be surprised if all her friends have some big event as anything big would definatley be a start saving now thing for us.

 

[mickeymaker2003]

Even if a big party for 16 is common in MO (which I don't think it is), that doesn't mean you need to provide it. Those huge sweet 16 parties are ridiculous in my personal opinion and what they show on TV has nothing to do with real life people who do not have thousands to spend on a whim. Figure out how much you are comfortable spending and then help them plan within that budget.

Since she isn't even 14 yet, I would keep on the path you are going. I wouldn't commit to a budget until she is at least 15 1/2. Unexpected things happen and you don't want to promise something you may not be able to deliver.

 

[Melynny]

I grew up in Mo and still live in the Midwest, I did not have a special party when I was 16, but then I grew up in a small town. I have not heard of any parties lately for sweet 16.. nothing like is on TV. I did have a few cousins who were more affluent( or thought they were LOL) and they nor their children who have had 16th birthdays recently had parties... Hopefully some others disser can add their 2 cents...

 

[We_Love_Disney]

I wouldn't do it. No one is doing them these days. Put the money aside and use if for college.

 

[clh2]

My DD turned 16 this year. We live in Wisconsin. DD did not have a sweet 16 party. I would have loved to have had a group of her friends and done Melting Pot's Light Faire Chocolate party for about $10 per girl, EXCEPT, DD was just so stinking busy, that it would have had to have been about 2 months after her wedding.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

i had a sleepover with one freind. lots of food,no big party. Im from WI

 

[kayrosek]

Thanks this is pretty much what I figured and even if they were all the rage I was certain they weren't anything like what she saw on TV (and i woulden't go that crazy even if they were). However having other peoples opinions will help me convince her I hope. I do want something special and different and she's the type that plans in advance so other ideas are definatley welcome. I love the melting pot thing. I wonder if the one near us does that.

 

[Tabatha]

I'm in Eastern Kansas not far from the KCK/KCMO boarder and no one has huge parties..Well except for the traditional Mexican families that drop crazy amounts on a quinceanera (15th party). In my town I see a lot more people have charitable birthdays. Of course these individuals are always showcased in the local paper, typically on the front page - so it’s almost become an event in itself to see who can raise the most or get the most donations to get more spotlight.

Recently I know that I went to a bowling tournament for breast cancer the the birthday girl put together. This summer it was a pool party. The birthday girl asked all guests to bring dog food for the shelter and gifts for the animals instead of herself. I've seen small dances with guests bringing canned food for the local pantry and other similar "charitable" parties.

Maybe you could start planting that seed and have a party like that. I think the kids around here find it better to make the paper, than get the gifts. It's a win-win for everyone

 

[StephMK]

DD & her group of friends all turned 16 this past year. I didn't have a big blow out when I turned 16 & didn't know the norm around here either since we're new-er to the Midwest.

Here are the parties that she attended - party at the Y, teen dressy - nice shirts, casual dresses, dance music & snacks, outdoor picnic at the lake, dinner out, concert outing for small group of girls, etc. DD had a sleepover & takeout Chinese from Hyvee for their dinner. Hyvee will sell by the person & it was not expensive. We did a candy buffet as the party favor & found lots of clearance candy after the holidays & shortly before her bday.

All the girls did something special but not super pricey or anything like on TV. Just a little more special bday party but nothing outrageous.

 

[aprilgail2]

I wouldn't do it. No one is doing them these days. Put the money aside and use if for college.

Wish you would tell that to the people I know!! I was at 3 last year- all in catering halls complete with photographer, dj, catered meals etc....my friends daughter turns 16 next month and she gave her the option of a party or a trip with 2 friends- she picked the trip so my friend is taking the 3 girls to disney for the week. My god daughter picked a cruise with 2 friends for hers instead of a party!

 

[pal-mickey]

My daughter turned 16 last yr and we surprised her with a disney trip. Of course this was not un-selfish on my part, because it got me back to disney. It was also an opportunity to take my mom with us. That was important to me because i wanted to go with my parents and kids but didn't, and then my dad pasted away.

 

[angierae]

I never know how to chime in on these things because DD15 is a total tomboy and has requested a party at the indoor go-karts for her 16th birthday.

 

[twinsplusone]

DH has just saying that his boss's dd (16) just went to a sweet16 party for a friend. The parents rented out an underage club and bussed the kids (125 were invited and they all got to bring a friend) to the location. Food, soda, desserts, and dj. We're in WI and apparently this is becoming more poplular. This thing rivaled weddings. I don't care how many my now dds (10 & 7) get invited to. We are not doing this. IMO this is way over the top. I know they are in a different income bracket than we are. But over the top is over the top.

 

[ccgirl]

I am not one that goes by what the rage is; nor do I care what the rage is. That is how I have always raised my DD so she knows. What have her birthdays been in the past? My DD7 just went to one a couple of months ago where the 2nd grader invited the entire class, rented a hall, and had a $500 DJ. I think that mom is setting a bad precedent but, hey, it's her money. If she does this for her 7th birthday what is she going to do for her 13th or 16th? For my DD's 8th birthday in a few weeks I am taking her and 3 of her friends to the movies. For her 16th, I was thinking of taking her away for the weekend. Just her.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Kathi OD]

Most people, regardless of where you live, don't throw parties like those you see on TV for their 16 year old daughters. Will there be a few who do, sure, but they are by far in the minority. Even in places like NYC, these parties are not as common as television would have you believe. Those parties run as much as a wedding. Not too many people can afford to do that and then pay tuition in a year or two.

Give your DD the type of celebration you are comfortable with and can afford. Don't be swayed by what is on TV.

 

[reagan75]

I live in Oklahoma and I had a surprise 16th. It was a blast with my closest friends and family at another friend's house. It was a nice to do. As for my children, I tend to go all out for each birthday (on a budget). I make the cake and food and usually have it at our house or park that is free. I expect to have a Sweet 16th party for my daughter when the time comes and it will be sensible. Especially since there will a car purchase at the same time.

 

[Ginamarie]

We live in the Northeast where it's pretty common to have a Sweet 16 party on DD's 16th birthday. In my experience, it's less about having something extravagant and more about letting DD celebrate with a large group of family and friends. My Sweet 16 was held in my uncle's cafeteria. He made the food, and we ordered a couple of games like ring toss and bean bag throws from Oriental Trading Company. Since we normally just have immediate family at birthday parties, this seemed like a big deal, inviting more extended family and a bunch of my high school girlfriends.

I think it's a good idea to talk to your DD a little more about what's important to her for a party and what you can realistically afford. I'm sure you could make something work, even on a small budget.

 

[ceecee]

I'm glad we're not watching the same TV shows as you do! DD is turning 15 and we are going to her favorite place to eat (Fazolis, we go every week anyway) and then back to our house for a bonfire and sleep over. She invited her 4 best friends and she is more than happy with that. Most of the parties her friends have are similar. Her one friend takes her and one other girl to King's Island (Amusement park) for her Bday every summer and one friend had a pool party. One took the girls for manicures (but they each paid). One friend had a sleepover in their barn, which they loved. I told her we would go to Great Wolf but she could only bring 2 friends but she said no.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Wish you would tell that to the people I know!! I was at 3 last year- all in catering halls complete with photographer, dj, catered meals etc....my friends daughter turns 16 next month and she gave her the option of a party or a trip with 2 friends- she picked the trip so my friend is taking the 3 girls to disney for the week. My god daughter picked a cruise with 2 friends for hers instead of a party!

The only one I've seen/been to is from Long Island. (where it looks like you're from) I was blown away, it was nicer than almost all of the weddings I've been to!

 

[brymolmom]

WOW - I haven't heard or been to a big blow out around me (western NY). I can't imagine I would do it even if dd wanted one.

For those of you who know people who have done it/are doing it for their kids, Am I guessing correctly that they are VERY well off? And that they have their kids college funds completely funded?

I can't imagine shelling out thousands a couple years before they head to college when they might need that to attend the school they want.