Men and "mail order brides"

[dolcezena]

I never knew that there was mail order Brides like this really, and it was a shock to know it is going on right here in our small city in Indiana!

There was a news report about a tornado that ruined this guy's house in VERY small town prairie. Stereotypical middle-aged, slightly overweight geeky farmer type. And then they interviewed his very young-looking Philipino wife! Everybody I talked to the next day had the same thought when we saw the report - Mail Order bride! We just couldn't imagine Philipino women being attracted to small French speaking farming communities any other way!

 

[supercarrie]

I don't know anyone personally, but on "America's Next Top Model" there is a contestant named Natasha who has pretty much admitted to being one. She is 20, from Russia, and her American husband is 40. In her interview she went on and on about how there is nothing for anyone in Russia and so moving to America has provided her all these opportunities. It is a bit sad, because it doesn't seem like a real loving relationship, but that could just be how the camera portrays it!

 

[Disneyfan63]

Hi,

From what I understand, a foreigner can obtain American citizenship by marrying an American. There was a TV show years ago starring Judd Hirsch, an offshoot of "Taxi" called "Dear John". (The characters all met at the "Rego Park rec center" once a week and the leader of the group always asked about "sexual problems.) One of the characters, a real nerdy, Walter Mitty type, had a mail-order bride from an eastern European country, who disappeared after the wedding ceremony because she was now a US citizen.

Wonder if a mail-order bride bolting immediately after the wedding, actually happens in real life?

Jim

 

[annegal]

I am glad to read all of these posts about mail order Brides. I work at a Hospital and we just recently accepted a volunteer from a local Womans abuse shelter that was a Russian Mail order Bride. She said she came over here and married a nice American Man here in our City and after they were married for a week or so, he started to become violent and started beating her every night when he would get home from work. She is a beautiful Woman, about 30 years old and has taught herself our English language. She knew no math so that is different for her but she is catching on very quickly. We have kind of become school teachers around the hospital. They wanted her to volunteer at the hospital in order for her to improve her English so maybe after she gets her Visa, or whatever she needs she can get a paying job someplace. The Woman's shelter is helping her get back on her feet by giving her a place to live and her meals. I asked why they did not help her get back to Russia, where he Mother and Father is and they said that that is why these women become Mail order Brides, to get out of Russia. This Woman is now going through a Divorce and is healing mentally. I feel so sorry for her, in fact I had talked to my husband about taking her into our home! They say that is not the right thing to do though. Her English is really rough still and the Shelter is getting her Mental help and helping to pay for her Divorce. She says she has no regrets but to me, even if I was living in a poor country, if that is where my family is that is where I would want to be.
Just thought I would share this other point of view. I never knew that there was mail order Brides like this really, and it was a shock to know it is going on right here in our small city in Indiana!

Lisa

Wow, Lisa...what a sad story.

 

[fabshelly]

OTOH, I have a lot of friends who have married white American men, who are NOT "mail-order brides", but simply married the man they love. But they keep finding white women who insult them, snicker at them, or talk down to them, because if you're Asian and married to a white man, you must be some third-world, subservient dragon flower. It's ridiculous.
I nearly married my Korean boyfriend (now ex-bf) this Christmas. He's not a US Citizen. Would that have made him a mail-order groom?

 

[dreamcometrue]

Hi,

From what I understand, a foreigner can obtain American citizenship by marrying an American. There was a TV show years ago starring Judd Hirsch, an offshoot of "Taxi" called "Dear John". (The characters all met at the "Rego Park rec center" once a week and the leader of the group always asked about "sexual problems.) One of the characters, a real nerdy, Walter Mitty type, had a mail-order bride from an eastern European country, who disappeared after the wedding ceremony because she was now a US citizen.

Wonder if a mail-order bride bolting immediately after the wedding, actually happens in real life?

Jim

not entirely true! You have to be married for a certain amount of years (I believe 3, could be more!), and you don't automatically become a US citizen. You have to do a lot of paperwork, pay the government $$, and there is a "test" you have to take!

 

[SandraVB79]

This is something that does not only happen in the US, it happens in every "rich" Western country, and it's a very sad thing.
The men that can't find a partner in their country (for whatever reason) go over there, find themselves a beautiful young girl, who is willing to do a lot to "escape" from her country.
While being in the "rich" country, the women send money home, so that their family can have a better life. Basically, they "offer" their years to support their family.
In some cases, there is real love, or at least respect, between the partners. In many cases, there is a lot of abuse.

 

[olena]

Oh yeah. American women are just the worst! Ever since we got backbones and rights, we just ruined everything.

 

[tkd lisa]

I personally know of two people who have done this.

One was the "traditional" mail order bride, where you register with a service, go over and meet the person, marry and return all in one trip. This was a guy who worked where I did (he worked closely with my ex-husband). His wife was Filipino, and that relationship worked out well. They were married for 20 years that I know of. They usually visited her family every couple of years, and I know he sent them money every month.

The second one was the more modern version, involving the internet. My college roommate's brother was the kind of guy described in this thread. Pretty geeky, poor social skills, little ambition. He "met" this Russian girl over the internet and they married about 6 years ago. She was supposedly a pharmacist/doctor/something medical professional in her country. She ended up spending 4 years in nursing school over here (she started about a year after they got married). Literally 2 days after she graduated, she told him she wanted a divorce. So she was definitely looking for a free ride.

My bottom line opinion is that there are as many bad "mail order" marriages as there are "normal" marriages.

 

[freckles and boo]

OTOH, I have a lot of friends who have married white American men, who are NOT "mail-order brides", but simply married the man they love. But they keep finding white women who insult them, snicker at them, or talk down to them, because if you're Asian and married to a white man, you must be some third-world, subservient dragon flower. It's ridiculous.
I nearly married my Korean boyfriend (now ex-bf) this Christmas. He's not a US Citizen. Would that have made him a mail-order groom?

Did you go to Korea specifically looking for a man to marry? I think we are talking about apples and oranges here. There is no rhyme or reason in real love. People just meet someone, fall in love, and it either works out or it doesn't. While I agree the term "mail-order bride" is derogatory, it is based on the fact that decades ago the women were literally listed, with photos, in a catalog - just like farm equipment or shoes. In the modern version people meet through the internet, but the purpose is the same. A lonely man is looking for a wife. A poor or desperate woman is looking to get out of her country. As I said before, someone is bound to be disappointed.

 

[LisaNJ25]

I would like to hold my opinion as I might need one day to have me a Disney loving Mail-order bride. You just never know.

She can come complete with her Disney wedding dress

 

[LuvDuke]

Well, unfortunately I think that most of the time it's the socially inept man who needs to follow this avenue. I am sure there are exceptions, but they probably really are exceptions.

Socially inept? How about loser? These losers are so afraid of women, they need a painted up doll to make them feel alive. Before the internet, the doll was usually made of rubber or plastic.

 

[LisaNJ25]

I nearly married my Korean boyfriend (now ex-bf) this Christmas. He's not a US Citizen. Would that have made him a mail-order groom?

Only if you ordered him over the internet......

 

[LisaNJ25]

Socially inept? How about loser? These losers are so afraid of women, they need a painted up doll to make them feel alive. Before the internet, the doll was usually made of rubber or plastic.

ROTF....used to me made of?? Now the sell parts and you dont even get the whole doll

 

[Cantw8]

I wouldnt mind a harem of them

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Socially inept? How about loser? These losers are so afraid of women, they need a painted up doll to make them feel alive. Before the internet, the doll was usually made of rubber or plastic.

Seriously.

 

[sha_lyn]

have a colleague whose brother goes to Thailand every years for months at a time. All he talks about is how well the women treat men over there...apparently they fawn all over the men in *many* ways . This guy has been through a divorce so in his opinnion all American women suck, so he'd rather have a subservient foreigner.

That would be my BIL. Fortunately for the "bride" he made her work so he didn't have to. The women at work gave her a crash course in womens rights, and she walked out on him.

 

[sewer]

"How much do you want for the women?"

 

[Hercules10]

No body ever told me I coulda picked from daggum catalog.

Where are these sites? Do they give stats?

I want a 20 y/o nymphomaniac aerobics instructor with huge gabos who owns a brewery and can breathe through her ears! ORDER UP!!!!!

 

[freckles and boo]

No body ever told me I coulda picked from daggum catalog.

Where are these sites? Do they give stats?

I want a 20 y/o nymphomaniac aerobics instructor with huge gabos who owns a brewery and can breathe through her ears! ORDER UP!!!!!

That one only comes in the green with copper pin-stripes and a sun-roof.