Men and "mail order brides"

[annegal]

You know, you see those older unattractive men with young Russian or Asian women who barely speak English. What's with that?


A lady I know has a son(mid 40's never keeps a job or had a stable relationship) who has an Internet romance with a lady in China who will come to the USA on a "Fiancee Visa"...stay 90 days and then they will decide to marry or not. He went there for a visiit & she has sent me lots of pictures. Some of the pictures are posed elegant wedding pictures..in lots of different wedding dresses, veils and hats!!!(They aren't married yet)

 

[dejavu]

It's not only older women. I know a guy ( mid 40's ,still lives st home) who met a beautiful ,young (22) girl, brought her here on the fiancee visa from a eastern european country. Long story short after about 40 days she had enough and went back! . Now he's back seaching for another one - I don't '"get" it either. But this guy is so strange I don't think he is capable of meeting women any other way, plus he likes very young, blond, super thin women and when you are 45, still living in your parents basement and collecting comic books and army men I think most American women would run in the opposite direction!

 

[freckles and boo]

I find the entire thing creepy, but I can see where the parties involved would consider it a win-win situation in the beginning. The young woman gets the opportunity to leave a depressed or repressive environment to go to the United States and marry a rich American. All American men are rich, right? The socially awkward or possibly domineering man gets the opportunity to marry a beautiful young girl who can be easily controlled with threats of being sent back. I am sure a few of these relationships work out, but I would guess that in most cases someone is bound to be disappointed or heartbroken.

 

[L107ANGEL]

It's not only older women. I know a guy ( mid 40's ,still lives st home) who met a beautiful ,young (22) girl, brought her here on the fiancee visa from a eastern european country. Long story short after about 40 days she had enough and went back! . Now he's back seaching for another one - I don't '"get" it either. But this guy is so strange I don't think he is capable of meeting women any other way, plus he likes very young, blond, super thin women and when you are 45, still living in your parents basement and collecting comic books and army men I think most American women would run in the opposite direction!

Ya think?

 

[Pop Daddy]

I wouldnt mind a harem of them

 

[SillyMe]

I wouldnt mind a harem of them

You're afraid of us American women aren't you?

 

[HonestAbe]

I wouldnt mind a harem of them

And if you order now I'll throw in a set of these wonderful Ginsu knives!

 

[SillyMe]

 

[korbbec]

I know one that worked out great. Dave* was unlucky in love. He was smart, had a good job, owned a nice home, was fit and reg looking and working on a second degree. He was in his late 40's and after 2 divorces he gave up on love. Then he decided to try a Russian bride. Not sure how he came to the decision. We were all very skeptical, but not our choice. Anyway, although she is much younger than him, she is really nice and they are very happy after over 5 years. She was a doctor in Russia and took up practice here, after much re-schooling. Her daughter is doing well is school here. It does work out sometimes, but I'll agree it is strange.

 

[I'mNoPrince]

I would like to hold my opinion as I might need one day to have me a Disney loving Mail-order bride. You just never know.

 

[Pam]

Sometimes the parents of the bride give money to the American male to bring the woman over here.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, unfortunately I think that most of the time it's the socially inept man who needs to follow this avenue. I am sure there are exceptions, but they probably really are exceptions.

I have a colleague whose brother goes to Thailand every years for months at a time. All he talks about is how well the women treat men over there...apparently they fawn all over the men in *many* ways . This guy has been through a divorce so in his opinnion all American women suck, so he'd rather have a subservient foreigner.

Personally I think that says a lot more about him than anyothing else.

 

[monsterkitty]

Our neighbor is a 40-something y/o man who went to China in April 2006 to marry his mail-order bride. He had met her in October of 05 while at an Internet Cafe in China.

When he arrived in April, she decided he was too overbearing for her, and changed her mind. However, as luck would strike it, the day beofre he left China, he met the woman of his dreams in another Internet Cafe. He would tell anyone and everyone about how it was love at first sight.

See where this is going yet? Probably as DISers are pretty smart cookies!

Fast forward to this past December when he went over to marry the woman of his dreams. She dumped him a day after he got there.

He is now on medical leave from his job because he is suffering from depression. Seriously, he looks like h-e-double-hockey sticks and is very withdrawn. All over a girl he met at an Internet Cafe in China and has only met once but has communicated with daily on IM.

Of course he is the talk of the neighborhood, but you have to feel at least a little sorry for the guy. He was so sure he had found his

 

[nannerbadnanner]

This is a funny story...

We are pretty sure that my uncle's much younger Filipino wife was a mail order bride....neither have ever admitted it, but there have been clues. Well, when I started working at my former job, our IT guy was telling me how he and his wife spent three weeks in the Phillipines every year visiting our family. I told him that my aunt was fFlipino and we chatted for a few moments about it.

Well, later that day my boss was telling me about him and his wife. I made a crack that "hey, at least she wasn't a mail order bride." My boss then tells me that she WAS a mail order bride. Our IT guy thought American women were awful so he did research and found his present wife. I was SOOO thankful I had not made that comment to him.

The good news is that he and has wife have been married for over ten years and seem very happy and loving so I guess it really does work out for some peeople.

 

[kristen821]

I was asked to marry some guy from poland to make him a citizen. The pay is very good and they support you through the whole process until the divorce a few years later. I of course didn't do it, but it was offered. It was really wierd.

 

[MamaLema]

I find the entire thing creepy, but I can see where the parties involved would consider it a win-win situation in the beginning. The young woman gets the opportunity to leave a depressed or repressive environment to go to the United States and marry a rich American. All American men are rich, right? The socially awkward or possibly domineering man gets the opportunity to marry a beautiful young girl who can be easily controlled with threats of being sent back. I am sure a few of these relationships work out, but I would guess that in most cases someone is bound to be disappointed or heartbroken.

That's exactly how I feel...only you put it into better words

 

[MAKmom]

It's not only older women. I know a guy ( mid 40's ,still lives st home) who met a beautiful ,young (22) girl, brought her here on the fiancee visa from a eastern european country. Long story short after about 40 days she had enough and went back! . Now he's back seaching for another one - I don't '"get" it either. But this guy is so strange I don't think he is capable of meeting women any other way, plus he likes very young, blond, super thin women and when you are 45, still living in your parents basement and collecting comic books and army men I think most American women would run in the opposite direction!

 

[Lisa11130]

I am glad to read all of these posts about mail order Brides. I work at a Hospital and we just recently accepted a volunteer from a local Womans abuse shelter that was a Russian Mail order Bride. She said she came over here and married a nice American Man here in our City and after they were married for a week or so, he started to become violent and started beating her every night when he would get home from work. She is a beautiful Woman, about 30 years old and has taught herself our English language. She knew no math so that is different for her but she is catching on very quickly. We have kind of become school teachers around the hospital. They wanted her to volunteer at the hospital in order for her to improve her English so maybe after she gets her Visa, or whatever she needs she can get a paying job someplace. The Woman's shelter is helping her get back on her feet by giving her a place to live and her meals. I asked why they did not help her get back to Russia, where he Mother and Father is and they said that that is why these women become Mail order Brides, to get out of Russia. This Woman is now going through a Divorce and is healing mentally. I feel so sorry for her, in fact I had talked to my husband about taking her into our home! They say that is not the right thing to do though. Her English is really rough still and the Shelter is getting her Mental help and helping to pay for her Divorce. She says she has no regrets but to me, even if I was living in a poor country, if that is where my family is that is where I would want to be.
Just thought I would share this other point of view. I never knew that there was mail order Brides like this really, and it was a shock to know it is going on right here in our small city in Indiana!

Lisa

 

[Sonya]

Our Superintendent pretty much admitted to getting one this last summer. I thought it was really weird, becuase he told us at the convocation. All the teachers and satff were present and insted of listening to him "pep us up" for the school year he is talking about his new Chinese wife that doesn't speak any English!

 

[disneyfan67]

They had a special on Dateline NBC not too long ago about this and there's a lot of fraud and scams out there. A lot of those sorry souls end up getting ripped off. Who would have thought that a single 45 year old guy who still lives with his parents and collects GI Joe's, would be a target of an Internet scam and thieves?