Mean School Lunch Ladies!!

[aprilgail2]

This is the second year my daughter has been in school and the second year the lunch ladies are getting on my nerves!!!! Last year they told my daughter she couldn't use the bathroom until recess...well she peed herself then....how can you tell a kindergarten kid she can't use the bathroom for another 20 minutes when they have to go?? So I figure maybe she had a reason and I wasn't going to be the mom that runs to school for everything....well a month later she has to go again, and again they say no and she pees herself....now I go down there and tried my hardest to be nice and not go in like a screaming lunatic...I asked in the office about them not letting her go and what was the reason...they bring one of the lunch ladies out to talk to me and she says to point out my daughter and I show them who she is...she says well some kids just want to go to the bathroom to fool around in there...I asked "well does MY daughter do that" and they said no..."so then, you will let her go when she has to from now on"...oh yes she says...fine, that worked until the end of last school year...now this year they tell her no again! I bring in a Dr's note stating that she has a distended bladder and when she needs to go she has to go! I told her next time they tell her no for her just to walk out and go to the bathroom, I will come up and deal with any trouble she gets into..... OK....now my daughter never buys hot lunch, she wanted to try chicken nuggets so I give her the money and she buys hot lunch...my daughter is thin and if she eats 2 chicken nuggets that is a whole lunch for her..well she ate 1 and a half and didn't like them, they were soggy (they bake them instead of frying)...lunch lady comes over and yells at her to keep eating that she hasn't eaten enough and "your parents paid good money for this food and you better eat it".....I was SO mad! I now blew my top at school...it was the same darn lady that won't let her use the bathroom too!! I told her that if she bothered my daughter one more time I was filing a formal complaint with the school board....I told her that we are not free lunch, not even reduced lunch so my daughters lunch is NOT coming out of anyones pocket but mine and she can eat or not eat what she felt like. I told my daughter that if she bothered her again to tell her that her mom says she can eat what she wants....give these people a little power and they think they are god!
So now between complaining about the violent little boy in the class and this I am going to be well known as the pain in the butt parent...I dont give a crap though, its my job to protect my kid and not let anyone harass her!!!
Well thats the end of my rant!!!

 

[mudnuri]

LOL this reminds me of DD9's "lunch lady" when she was in Kindergarten. This might lighten your mood a bit.

DD came home a couple days in a row starving. She had money for school lunch, and I thought she was eating it. Finally I asked- why are you so hungry, didnt you eat lunch?
DD9 who was 5 at the time replied. "mom, she has 2 black stubs for teeth" I tried hard not to laugh, and then DD finished the sentance with "if she doesnt brush her teeth, how do I know she washes her hands?"

The rest of that school year, there was no school lunch for my DD, and that lunch lady hasnt been at our school since....thank god!.......

Brandy

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

And that is why I tell my daughter that if she has to go to the bathroom and a teacher (or whomever) says no, that she should just go and they can talk to me.

 

[mudnuri]

And that is why I tell my daughter that if she has to go to the bathroom and a teacher (or whomever) says no, that she should just go and they can talk to me.

My thoughts exactly, I dont care who you are, you can not decide if a child has to go to the bathroom....when we all know by the time they ask, they've already waited too long

Brandy

 

[Serena]

So now between complaining about the violent little boy in the class and this I am going to be well known as the pain in the butt parent...I dont give a crap though, its my job to protect my kid and not let anyone harass her!!!
Well thats the end of my rant!!!

It sounds like one of those situations where you just don't have any other options than to be heard, whether they like it or not.
Your daughter will remember this.

 

[DebD4T]

I do lunch duty once a week at my children's school and I very rarely say no to a child who asks to use the bathroom.

The school has a policy that once the children are in the schoolyard, they cannot re-enter the building until recess is over. There is one teacher who yells at the monitors (7th and 8th grade students assigned to watch the younger classes) if they bring any student back into the building to use the bathroom.

As an adult and a mother, I think I can discern if a child is faking having to use the bathroom or not. When I ask a monitor to take the child to the bathroom, they usually get a look of fear in their eyes and tell me that Mrs. So-and-so will yell at them and make them leave the building. I tell the monitor that if that happens, to blame me (the lunch mother) and have Mrs. So-and-so come to see me. So far I haven't been challenged.

 

[Marseeya]

I've told my kids the same thing about leaving if someone won't "let" them use the bathroom if they really have to go. I warned them that there would probably be consequences, so to make sure only to do it if it's urgent. In all these years, neither one of them have had to do it, but at least they know they have my blessing!

Sounds like those lunch ladies need to find another line of work. I can't even imagine how bad I'd feel to be the cause of a kid wetting him/herself -- and then to do it again??? Inexcusable!

And I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but your comment about free/reduced lunch kids was just a bit offensive. Kids are kids and shouldn't have to swallow crap no matter who's paying for it. I know you were fed up when you said it, but just wanted to point that out.

 

[sandramaac]

I find many lunch room ladies to be in the same genre as security guards. Know how they call security guards 'rent a cops', wanna be's, with a exagerated sense power--well many of the lunch ladies were like that a dd's school. Just mean, nasty ladies who must have thought they had way more authority than they actually did. They would make snide comments about and to the students, would force kids the eat, yes the whole no uising the bathroom thing. I am not exactly sure why they worked at the school, because most (not all, a few were nice) did not lilke kids at all.

 

[illini]

You gave me a flashback. I think I was in first grade and had bought hot lunch that day. It was always a big deal to empty the lunch you did not eat into one trash can and put the styrofoam (sp?) container in another trash can. Well I spaced out and put all of my leftover lunch in the styrofoam container trash can. I still remember the trash lady yelling at me- I honestly still see her face and I still remember the pee running down my leg!!!!!!!!!!!
Traumatized for life I swear!

 

[Jeafl]

Well, I work at the elementary school, and a small part of my job is to supervise some of the lunch periods. My policy is this: anyone who asks to go to the bathroom is immediately allowed to go. We have passes that we give them and it is no big deal. The only time I question it is when a group of kids that are friends all ask at the same time. When that happens I let one or two go at a time and then when they come back the others can go.

As far as not eating lunch, we are not allowed to say anything to the kids, or inisist that anybody eat anything unless there is a medical reason. We do have a couple of diabetics that we need to keep an eye on. Having said that, I cannot tell you how many entire untouched lunches go in the garbage every single day. Unopened cartons of milk as well. It is sad, and it seems to be the same kids every day, but such is life. I figure if they are hungry they will eat.

 

[Daxx]

If you're a sahm, how about volunteering to monitor the lunch room in your school's cafeteria if you're having problems? Go to the principal and say "I know that kids like to play in the bathrooms, but I am willing to come in and lend a hand so that kids can use the bathroom for what it's intended for." I know that at my school and DS's school, they are happy to have parents monitor the lunch room and help the kids w/opening their juice boxes, going to the bathroom, etc.

If you can't do it, maybe you have a friend who is a sahm and can go in. It sounds like there aren't enough people to monitor bathrooms and cafeteria -- maybe the extra help would be appreciated.

 

[minkydog]

i'm all for letting little kids go to the bathroom, but I'm wondering why your daughter isn't going to the bathroom before she gets to the lunchroom. Does the teacher make time for a bathroom run? Most kids by this age do not have to get up during a meal to use the bathroom. If she is doing that consistently then she needs to be trained to go to the bathroom before a meal, wash hands, and not leave the table except for an emergency.
The lunch room lady sounds like she has issues...

 

[Morganpics]

aprilgail2 - I wish you'd been my mom when I was in school!! I had a Mom who NEVER stood up for me. As a result, it's been hard for me with my kids (who are now long out of school). I had times when I know I didn't react appropriately-either not enough or too much.

 

[Camperkid]

That lady got issues!

 

[Pop Daddy]

I thought this was about the lush ladies

 

[castleview]

Good for you! And I come from a family of teachers and administrators who always deal with parents. I could understand being skeptical of fifth graders hanging out in the bathroom, but kindergarten? C'mon!

I like the "just go anyway" solution...ah, the info I get here is great as my DD just startred school!

 

[Wishing on a star]

....give these people a little power and they think they are god!


So now between complaining about the violent little boy in the class and this I am going to be well known as the pain in the butt parent...I dont give a crap though, its my job to protect my kid and not let anyone harass her!!!
Well thats the end of my rant!!!

Yep, it is not just the 'lunch ladies' either.... This is an EPIDEMIC problem in education today. I FIRMLY believe that educators have a definate "God Complex". (similar to Doctors having been known for having God Complex.)

These people think that they are almighty god because they have a little contol, over CHILDREN...


AprilGail,

I wanted to add what I have posted before... If your daughter is peeing on herself, I would be VERY concerned!!!! Are these little Kindergarteners not being given a bathroom/handwashing break before heading to lunch???? Is there some reason your DD does not feel comfortable going to the restroom during class time. What are the teachers attitudes and policies??? If your DD had to go that bad that she couldn't get thru a short lunch break, then WHY is she holding it all morning to begin with!!!!!!

I am speaking from personal experience here. I had my DS pulled out of a class because the teacher did not offer bathroom breaks. (supposedly they were free to go when they wanted.... but, try telling this to an anxious little kid starting school, when the teacher states to me, "I am NOT going to quit teaching so he/they can go to the restroom!" Well, UMMMMMM, just WHEN is he supposed to feel 'excused'!!!!!!!

This teacher is a REAL Teacher-God, and I know others who would never allow their child to be placed in her class.

So, AprilGail, I would not be satisfied if my child peed themselves TWICE in a row, until I feel that I had identified and SOLVED the underlying problem.

Cheers!!!! From one of "THOSE parents" to another.... I also don't give a darn what they label me.... My childs well-being is ALL that matters.

 

[cepmom]

that's absolutely unacceptable....I would definately put a call in to the principal and report what the lunch lady is saying/doing to your DD. Then I would speak with her teacher and find out if the kids are allowed to use the bathroom whenever they want or if they have a specific time to use it. If they can go whenever they want (my kindergartner can go to the bathroom in the classroom whenever she needs to), maybe the teacher can remind your DD to use the bathroom before they head to the cafeteria instead if having your DD wait until the last minute to ask (during lunch). There is no need for her to be peeing herself...how horrible for her!

 

[Daxx]

As a Kdg. teacher, we always go to the bathroom before lunch to avoid the "gotta go" during lunch. However, sometimes, I can't get them to the bathroom right before lunch b/c they come down from their "specials" {art, music, etc} and we don't have time. But, we do go before they go to their special to alleviate some of the bathroom breaks while on lunch. However, I am fortunate that my school has parent volunteer monitors who will "watch over" the bathroom situations.

We take four bathroom breaks a day ... and I have to take all students to the bathroom at the same time. I don't have the luxury of a bathroom in my classroom, so I can't let them go as they please/need. And, b/c of the potential for someone injuring themselves in the bathroom and possible lawsuits, I cannot send them on their own to the bathrooms per my principal. So, I have planned in my day four bathroom breaks. If I have to make them earlier than usual, that is ok. If I have to make them a bit later than usual, that is ok, too. I always tell the parents to be sure their child uses the school bathroom before coming into my class b/c, inevitably, someone has to go the minute we get our ball rolling {which is too early to go most of the time}.

I can UNDERSTAND what the one teacher is saying by interrupting the class w/constant bathroom breaks while she's teaching HOWEVER I am NOT saying that she is right. This teacher needs to "cut out" some time in her schedule to do a group bathroom break. She's lucky to have the bathroom right in her classroom ... she can just do a "take ten" and send the kids to the bathroom one at a time. While the kids are waiting, they can get ready for the next task that's coming up {ie: you should be getting your social studies books and a pencil out while you're waiting for the bathroom}. That way, she is "multitasking" ... getting kids prepped for what's coming up while waiting their turn to use the bathroom. It isn't difficult to stop a class for a ten min. bathroom break but it is tough to remain consistent when kids are popping up and down to run to the bathroom. As a teacher, I know there is "down time" in the classroom that can be used for this.

Granted, when we go for bathroom break, many of students say "I don't have to go". I know they'll want to go the second we get back to the class. I ask them to try to go. Most times, they come out and say "Hey, I went." Go figure. I would never deny a child a bathroom break ... but I certainly don't want them to go in the bathroom and not give it the old college {kdg.?} try.

 

[va32h]

I absolutely hated the lunch lady at dd's old school. We actually changed schools to get away from this woman. Her rule was "no talking" - at all - during lunch. She'd stalk around the cafeteria glaring at everyone and putting "the red cone" on tables - meaning she had caught them talking.

When the teachers came to pick them up, she'd give each teacher a laundry list of everything the kids had done "wrong".

My husband said he had pleasanter lunches at Marine Corp boot camp!

If a child had a parent eating lunch with them - they were allowed to sit a the "guest table" and talk. Well, I had lunch with my daughter every single day for two months until the school passed a new "rule" saying you could only come once a week.

The last day of school, I came to have lunch with dd, and told this lady (louldy) she was a Nazi and had no business working around children.