Mean girls! UPDATE!

[Magic Mom]

ARG! I hate mean girls. DD has two that are constantly coming after her. They aren't even doing it together, it's seperate issues. I am not one to think my children are angels, but DD is pretty laid back. She doesn't get into drama. I'm not sure why she is the target of these two girls.

She seems to be handling it well, but today one of them told her she was ugly and had elephant ears. Yesterday she told her she said DD was a stupid white girl. It's non stop. Today DD went to the principal to report it. He told her he would start the bully process. I am waiting on a call back from him. DD is handling it well and says the girl doesn't really get to her, but I still want to express my concern and make sure something is being done....although I'm not sure what they can do.

 

[Art 1]

I think you are doing the right thing. Keep calling the school and don't let up. Last school year a girl that my daughter went to school with since kindergarten was thrown out of the school with one month left of her senior year for cyber bullying. It was very embarrassing to her parents who I know.

That girl never was any good and should have been removed long before this.

 

[mhsjax]

UNtil they start actually doing something about these types of billies, it will go on. I say expel them from school , send them to reform school and let them deal with much bigger bullies than they are. They will learn.

I am so sorry about your DD, there is just no reason for this. I have no advice, I am lucky enough to have never been through it myself or my kids. Big Hugs.

 

[hentob]

Yesterday she told her she said DD was a stupid white girl.

I can pretty much promise you that if your daughter called her a "stupid BLACK girl", she would be suspended. I hate the whole racial double standard.

Good luck to your daughter

 

[ccgirl]

Have you spoken to the Principal? For the first time in 3 years I went to the Principal. Another girl was bullying my DD. She's only in 2nd grade. I asked some of the other kids/parents and sure enough, it was going on. The bullies mom is knee deep in volunteering for the school and is a substitute teacher so I wasn't sure what would be done, if anything. To my surprise, something was done. Not sure what but it hasn't occured since. Schools take bullying very seriously.

Good luck!

 

[Magic Mom]

Have you spoken to the Principal? For the first time in 3 years I went to the Principal. Another girl was bullying my DD. She's only in 2nd grade. I asked some of the other kids/parents and sure enough, it was going on. The bullies mom is knee deep in volunteering for the school and is a substitute teacher so I wasn't sure what would be done, if anything. To my surprise, something was done. Not sure what but it hasn't occured since. Schools take bullying very seriously.

Good luck!

I have called him and left a message for him to call me back. Hopefully it will resolve itself and not escalate because DD reported it.

 

[sparklynails23]

If your daughter contacted the principal, the bullying is bothering her. Just keep an eye on her and keep telling her how great you think she is.

 

[Magic Mom]

If your daughter contacted the principal, the bullying is bothering her. Just keep an eye on her and keep telling her how great you think she is.

I agree. That's why I called. SHe says she's fine with it, but I want to stay on top of it to make sure it's being handled.

 

[Buckalew11]

Yes, because I thought the same thing for my DD and found out it bothered her way, way more than I ever even knew! It went on for years though and got worse in middle school. When I talked to her about how bad it really was and how I didn;t know it was so bad for her she siad, "It's called *covering up* and I'm good at it. "

 

[Magic Mom]

Yes, because I thought the same thing for my DD and found out it bothered her way, way more than I ever even knew! It went on for years though and got worse in middle school. When I talked to her about how bad it really was and how I didn;t know it was so bad for her she siad, "It's called *covering up* and I'm good at it. "

Aw, that's awful.

 

[aaarcher86]

I'm so sorry

I'm not looking forward to this at all. My kids on in Pre-K. Apparently there is already a clique of 2 girls that aren't very nice to one of my girls. Seriously? Great.

 

[simba20]

Yes, because I thought the same thing for my DD and found out it bothered her way, way more than I ever even knew! It went on for years though and got worse in middle school. When I talked to her about how bad it really was and how I didn;t know it was so bad for her she siad, "It's called *covering up* and I'm good at it. "

Aw, that's awful.

This was exactly me, through middle and high school.

When I talked to my mom, she told me "just ignore them." so I did and the taunting/teasing/mean nasty notes/rumors about me continued.

Then I got to high school. I hid out doing things I loved (drama and cheerleading -- although there were a few on the squad who picked on me and fed others info). I was actually okay for the longest time, and then around my junior year my mental state began to change. I started to believe what they were sayign was true:
I had no friends -- because the bullies would tell somebody I hung around with or was seen talking to, bad stuff about me or gain their friendship.
I didn;t have a boyfriend -- I was painfully shy. I had guys who were "friends" so to speak (secret friends so the bullies wouldn;t find out), but I never knew if anyone was interested in me or not. In 8th grade bullies got a cute boy to play a joke on me and pretend he was interested and them humiliate me in front of the cafeteria and later 8th grade hall.
I thought I was ugly -- I really did not know about hair or make-up (wasn't interested), I wore galsses, my teeth were crooked.

So over time, my self-esteem dwindled, and years later, it still bothers me (I am now 34). There are times I am so incrdibily self-consciouses and then other times where I don't care. It's really odd. A counselor once told me that people really don't notice you, because they are too busy worrying about themselves. While I can repeat this to myself at times and find proof, the past still plagues me.

I had a friend, close trusted friend join in the bullying in high school. Later when I asked her about it, she said she had to do it, so she wouldn;t get picked on herself. Pfffftttt. That was at the end of my junior year of high school. She lost my trust, and even though years later we chat on FB, I am corgial with her.

Bullying is hard, really hard. Not that I wouldn;t have done somethign like it, but I totally understand the fustration that kids who commit acts like Columbine feel. You can't win no matter what you do. You ignore things, and they think you're weak and serve up more. You stand up for yourself, and they get physical or just give more in return.

My DD is only 3 and can pretty much speak her mind. She came home one afternoon after daycare and at dinner was saying somethign that I know she picked up from a daycare mate. So I had a little talk with her about peer pressure and doing what she wanted to do. I can only hope that I can do everything I can to help her stand up for herself and build her self-esteem. I have already read books like "Reviving Ophelia" and "Ophelia Speaks Out" I have even read "Real Biys" for the boys side of things.

Anyway, it's hard and the effects linger.

Although hitting a major lottery jackpot and being a Hollywood actress would be sweet revenge!

 

[SydSim]

I can pretty much promise you that if your daughter called her a "stupid BLACK girl", she would be suspended.:

Especially if the bully wasn't even black But I guess only black girls call people stupid white girls

 

[hentob]

Especially if the bully wasn't even black But I guess only black girls call people stupid white girls

My apologies if I am wrong. I just pictured it being a racial issue since race was mentioned.

And I stand by my claim that if a white person called a black person a "stupid black girl" things would be treated very differently.

 

[DeluxePrincess]

And I stand by my claim that if a white person called a black person a "stupid black girl" things would be treated very differently.

I agree with you. I used to teach at a racially mixed school and administrators would treat things differently, especially for the older kids.

 

[Art 1]

I agree with you. I used to teach at a racially mixed school and administrators would treat things differently, especially for the older kids.

There is a public HS in the Orlando area where the teachers have been told to give more detention to whites and turn a blind eye when a black mis-behaves. They need to even up the numbers they were told. True story.

 

[Magic Mom]

Especially if the bully wasn't even black But I guess only black girls call people stupid white girls

To be clear, the other child is black, but I'm not sure if her verbal attacks on DD are a racial thing. The both have diverse groups of friends. I'm hoping it was just something ugly for her to say. It would take a lot more than that for me to make any sort of accusations of racism.

 

[bellebud]

There is a public HS in the Orlando area where the teachers have been told to give more detention to whites and turn a blind eye when a black mis-behaves. They need to even up the numbers they were told. True story.

this is so horrible!

it may even up the numbers in detention that week, but it will only hurt the black kids (and all of society) in the long run - "hey, I can do whatever I want and not get in trouble".... yea - that's going to help them in real life after high school.

 

[T1130]

My dd (9) was also being bullied in the beginning of the school year by this one girl. First it was name calling she would tell my dd she was the ugliest girl she ever saw. She would tell other girls not to be friends with my dd etc. Then it turned physical. I was up at the school so fast. The administration told the girl if she was mean to my dd one more time she would be suspended. Thank God it has stopped. The mother of the girl is mad that I went to the school she was doing nothing about it.

It is really heartbreaking to watch this being done to anybody especially your own child. I am sorry you are going through this.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I'm glad you're taking action. I don't care if they are white, black or purple bullying is wrong. These girls to stop. I hope the principal does something about it.