Maybe a little strange, but

[4GBLC]

How do you want your funeral to be?

I had a friend pass away, and was at the "Showing" on Wednesday evening. Vicky was 35 years old. She was the mother of Peyton her 6 year old little girl. She went to the doctor with back pain and found out she had liver cancer. That was 6 months ago.

Her showing was at her church form 5-7pm and at 7pm they had a "Celebration Service". It was almost party like. It was uplifting, enjoyable. Like no other funeral I have ever been to.

Now for my service I want it like that. (No, I don't plan on dying yet, and I'm not suicidal) I tell my wife and friends all the time I want something uplifting and fun. I don't wnat flowers, I want donations to my wife and son to go on a vacation. I want Zippity Doo Dah played, I want a casket people can sign and write things on. I want no tears.

I guess this was just so different it left you with a good memory of Vicky. I know she would have loved it.

 

[MidgeD79]

I suppose it would depend on how old I was and the circumstances. My son Michael and i talked about his funeral before he died at the age of 18. He wanted no tears, but I told him that was impossible (and it was). It was a celebration of his life but we also grieved at what he never had a chance to do. His 21 birthday will be April 4.

 

[Sandy V.]

4GBLC, first of all, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

And MidgeD79, I'm sorry for the loss of your son. I can't imagine how devastating it is to lose a child.

I would also like something more "celebratory" as well. My dad died in a car accident when I was 9, and I still "see" him in that casket. I do NOT want anyone to remember me that way - that's why I'm being cremated. At my servie, they can put up pictures of me when I was LIVING my life instead.

 

[EthansMom]

Oddly enough, I've been fortunate in that I haven't had any close friends or family members pass away, so my viewpoint may be a little different than some other people's.

I would like to have my organs donated, my parents should have time to "see" me one last time during a private viewing and then I would like to be cremated. I would like my ashes scattered during one or two private moments by my DH and my parents (they can split up my cremains, if they wish, as long as I don't end up on anyone's mantle).

Then, I would like my friends and family to have one heck of a good wake -- food, drinks, and reminicences. In fact, with my family on the other coast, they might just have two wakes.

I, also, prefer to be remembered as I was in life, rather than as that part of me that was left after I had passed on.

BTW, this is pretty much the same thing I would do if DH passed away, except we would take DH's cremains for one last trip on a sailboat and he would go into the ocean with a couple of bottles of beer, as per his desires.

 

[nkjzmom]

I think it's natural to want your loved ones not to feel sad...we spend our lives loving them and wanting them to be happy. At my grandmother's viewing a few years ago there were tears and laughter simultaneously. At one point I really thought we might get kicked out of the funeral home for laughing too much. The next day, after leaving the cemetery, the family met at our church for lunch. My sister had prepared a DVD of pictures of Grandma set to music. We watched it after the dinner was over and again we were crying one second, laughing the next. I also could envision Grandma wandering around the room smelling the beautiful flowers...she LOVED roses! So I, too, would like to have some sweet-smelling, cheerful flowers around.

I hope I live my life so that people will cry because they miss me but then smile because they knew me!

 

[budbeerlady]

I already have it planned and I am only 29. Thats me the over planner! I am sure some of it will change between now and whenever its needed. (Hoping for many, many years but cha never know!)

I dont want to be embalmed!!!!! Besides being disgusting it isnt required in my state. A needless expense, its a carginagin (Spelling) and I dont want to contribute to the toxins that are already in the ground.

I want a closed casket for the visitation because you never look like you did in real life and it is just plain creepy!!!! And a closed casket supports the dry ice nicely so I dont stink up the room. And flowers, I love flowers and they would keep me from stinking up the room.

I want a short service by our pastor, play 1 song "when I get where I am going" by Brad Paisley and Dolly. That song brought me to tears several times when my dad was batteling cancer this past year. And sing ALL the verses of Amazing Grace. Gotta love that old hymn, I grew up on that one and it says it all. "Thru many toils, trails and fears I have already come!"

I dont want lunch with white cake afterwards, that just drives me nuts. Someone just died and now you have to go eat cake?!??!?

And if they want to come to the gravesite, go ahead! I am still up in the air about where i want to be buried. We own almost 11 acres and have thought about being buried in the front of our property, but realistically I know Dh and DD wouldnt own it forever and then some poor people would have this lady buried by thier home. I dont really want to be cremated, it creeps me out. Maybe some sort of natural cemetary, let me compose and become part of the earth again.

And the people I work with and my good friends need to go out for a drink and a laugh the night after my funeral! More people should do this, talk about me, drink a sex on the beach or something fruity (guys at work Budweiser!) and have a laugh! I'll admiit I have done some stupid stuff in my life, I am only imaging what would be said. Whatever is said shouldnt leave that room!!!!!

Hopefully I live for the next 60 years (my grandma is gonna be 89 and is doing awesome!) but atleast i know what I want, and hopefully Dh remembers!

 

[sajetto]

I dont want to be embalmed!!!!! Besides being disgusting it isnt required in my state.

What state are you in...I also think embalming is disgusting

 

[sweetlovin']

I dont want to think about it..and don't you either 4GBLC! I'm sorry about your friend, but I want you around for a long time.


That being said, I don't want any clothes on me when Im buried. I want to buried nakkie. I have cute clothes. Donate them to people that need them.

 

[jbdreamer]

I have no desire to plan or dream about my funneral.

 

[budbeerlady]

MI, there was a website that listed what is required by state, if I can find it I will post! http://www.borekjennings.com/choices.cfm this one applies to Mi. I think I found a state by state list of laws when checking into green burials. (The overplanner in me!)

 

[4GBLC]

I want you around for a long time.

I'll be here for ya babe!

 

[cardaway]

No funeral for me thanks. Burn, spread the ashes, and move on.

 

[debloco]

Donate whatever organs that can be donated, cremate the rest. No wake, and instead of a funeral, a celebration service like your friend had.
Great food, beautiful flowers, wonderful music and hopefully lots of laughter and memories.

 

[chell]

All the time I hear people say they don't want people to cry at their funeral. Well I do. I wanna know for certain that I'm missed.

All I know right now is that I want purple flowers and I don't care if the casket is open or not as long as I'm not disfigured or something. I do want anything that can be donated to others who can use it - doesn't matter if it is bone or what. Then what is left of me can go to the body farm.

 

[Stitchfans]

4GBLC, first of all, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

And MidgeD79, I'm sorry for the loss of your son. I can't imagine how devastating it is to lose a child.

I would also like something more "celebratory" as well. My dad died in a car accident when I was 9, and I still "see" him in that casket. I do NOT want anyone to remember me that way - that's why I'm being cremated. At my servie, they can put up pictures of me when I was LIVING my life instead.

never dreamed there was anyone else who requested the same as me. I also want to be cremated. I also want a picture of me put up. the only difference though is I want a video being played of me talking since that is what I do best.

I have it all planned out with my oldest daughter. She is freaked out and won't do it now, but I hope some day she will help me before my time comes. I want a video of me talking away about all sorts of memories with family members and friends. I told her she is to shoot me from the chest up. then at the end I will make an announcement:

to all of you who where mean to me and who didn't like me. you can kiss my
### and then I will stand up and show a bare one.

that should get a few laughs and liven up the show.

 

[Keli]

I don't really care what my funeral is like, what songs are played, who speaks and what they say. It want my loved ones to do whatever makes it better or easier for them. The idea of my life being cause for celebration is appealing to me if my family were up to it but it would really need to be their choice. Because by that point I am gone.

As far as my death goes my focus is on the hereafter. I want to make sure that I go to be with Jesus.

 

[Talking Hands]

I want it to be a celebration of my life and my home going to the Lord. Must be signed as I have many deaf friends. Closed casket or no casket just creamate me and throw the ashes in the Everglades and Bay Lake.

 

[ilovepcot]

Cremation, no service. Ashes to be put in flowerbed of childhood home. Seems simple enough!

 

[chell]

For those of you who don't want a service does it bother you to think your family might give you one anyway? For me the service is more for the survivors and I think it is needed for closure. I've seen some pretty messed up people who didn't allow for that closure - so that is why I feel that way.

 

[Hannathy]

I agree the service is for the survivors. People say they don't want others to see them cause they won't look good I understand and I have one demand do not bury me in a nightgown years ago that seemed to be the thing if the person had been sick and my Aunt was shown in a frilly pink nightgown and she looked so out of place I hated it and still remember it 35 yrs later. However my Mom died after a long rough struggle with a terminal illness and looked terrible while sick and alive but she was always very concerned about her clothes and hair before so for her funeral we had her own hair stylist come and color and style her hair,put on makeup, bought her a new dinner dress and put on her favorite jewelry. It was the first time in 5 yrs that she looked like my Mom. Everyone cried when they saw her because she looked so much like herself and realized how sick she had been. I am very glad and try to remember her from the funeral and not the hospital and am glad my kids who were young got to see and remember Grandma how she really was. So yes it is your funeral but hopefully you have gone to a better place and your funeral will help the ones left find comfort. sorry so long.


For those who want their ashes scattered in the water, don't ask for permission just do it 'cause in many places it is against the law as a dear friend found out when trying to scatter his stepson's in the ocean.