I'm a huge fan of Morimoto Asia in Honolulu, so I'd hope his Maui location is as good BUT it's definitely on the pricey side. I see he has his sticky ribs on the Maui menu & that's a MUST if you decide to go there. We've enjoyed his sushi (I guess that would be for you, not DH or DD) & the pictures on his website look good, but yeah, still expensive. I'd stay away from the bao because his dim sum style items in Honolulu were not to our tastes. I'm unsure if they will do writing on your plate for celebrations but I'd ask for it instead of waiting to see if they do it. We're not huge celebratory people, so I can't speak on that for Maui.
I don't know how "fancy" you want to go, but Cafe O'Lei is a family run local business that has pretty good food in Kihei at good prices. They have multiple locations that border on fancy/casual. Again, I don't know how they would handle celebrations, so I advise you ask them. We've been most recently to their location at the Dunes Golf Course because their prime rib was recommended to me & we enjoyed it. We also saw their Mill House location but we were there on a Monday & their locations are usually closed on Mondays, but it did look nice, but I'm unsure what the standard attire is there.
My sister really enjoyed Lineage in 2020 (I was unable to join them that year) but I haven't been there myself. I have no idea if they are having similar supply issue for product as Oahu restaurants, so if their choices are limited, I'd say skip it. For
Another restaurant I haven't been to, but was considering was Gannon's at the Wailea Golf Club. I'm familiar with Bev Gannon's original restaurant, Haliimaile General Store so I had hoped her second location is just as good. Since I haven't been there yet, I don't know how fancy/dressy it is and her online menu is a bit more pricey that Cafe OLei, but your family might find her options more appealing?
We've been to Ko at Fairmon Kea Lani & while it was good, it was super uber expensive. We only went because they were offering a deal for locals that was buy one, get one entree. I don't think they are offering that anymore. We were also looking at DUO at Four Seasons but their menu on Yelp from January looks pretty pricey too.
sorry I couldn't be a greater help & I didn't reply in a timely manner. I hope you can find something terrific to celebrate your anniversary!!! (and I'd like to hear how it went for you if I haven't replied too late)