Raulandpinboy
<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2001
- Messages
- 1,705
Marriage:
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and
be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
"Husband wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge
than to let her keep him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Eighty percent of married men cheat in the USA The rest
cheat in Canada.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost
to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying,"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That
happens in every country, son.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was
too late."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to
every word you say, talk in your sleep.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life thinking they had no faults at all.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start
to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think
they are attractive to the opposite sex.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and
be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
"Husband wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge
than to let her keep him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Eighty percent of married men cheat in the USA The rest
cheat in Canada.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost
to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying,"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That
happens in every country, son.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was
too late."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to
every word you say, talk in your sleep.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through
life thinking they had no faults at all.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start
to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think
they are attractive to the opposite sex.
