Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[PrincessKitty1]

Oh my, we could be sisters! Including the health care professional!

Several of the dog-crazy RNs I work with and I decided that when we win lotto , we'll start a pet rescue group!

(In our down time at work, we browse Petfinder.com. )

 

[aclov]

One other thought... I had meant to post this a few weeks back... my husband was telling me about an article he read at work (to my memory it was posted in either the Wall Street Journal or the New York Times - I've searched on the internet but haven't been able to locate the article for all of you)... the article was about "The most privileged generation". The basic premise of the article was that the latest college graduates have been raised to believe that they are all winners without having to try and that they are "entitled" without having to work. The author's concern was that all of these kids are now entering the work force to become the problem of the employer. These young adults in their early twenties have never had to work for success (think of the sports teams where every team gets a trophy because we wouldn't want any child to feel inferior), and they are now entering the workplace on the bottom rung (as most of us did). The difference - they don't want to work their way up, why should they have to?

It was a very telling article and gave voice to much of what we have discussed on this thread. Parenting styles have far reaching consequences. This isn't just our opinion, this is a real concern for the general population. And if anyone else can find the article, please feel free to post a link! DH read it to me over the phone and I believe I hit some of the major points, but it went far more in depth and I think there are several of you who might find it interesting.

I have to agree with this as far as recent grad's entering into the workforce and not wanting to start from the bottom. It definately is a sense of entitlement attitude. I work in HR and at my last job I did alot of recruitment some of the positions were for engineers and chemist. It seemed that most recent grads all wanted to be paid big bucks, bonus, have an office, supervisory responsibilities, etc. Nothing entry-level. And if they didn't get what they wanted all they did was complain, complain. My thought was be happy your getting a job and gaining some experience!

 

[luvthemouse71]

I think it is very telling that certain individuals with children have the curiousity to read this thread and, I'm fairly certain, that we aren't over reading the "families with kids" threads (and if we are reading, we are not contributing)... I think they are jealous of our lifestyle!!! Troll all you want, you won't change our minds and you certainly won't make us appreciate all of the ill behaved children that are being raised these day.

Now, if you'll excuse me, DH and I are heading out to enjoy a late brunch and a movie... we overslept this morning - we were up late last night planning our vacation trips this year over several glasses of a nice red wine.

Well said, the Parent Nazi's just hate it that everyone doesn't feel the need to spend their lives popping out kids. I mean, just the fact that so many of them have "mommy of" in their names is very telling. I have known women that have basically gotten preggers with a 3rd or 4rth child because they didn't want their husbands to pressure them about getting an outside job. That to me is pathetic and irresponsible. And for the record, I don't hate children-just parents that are miserable with their own decisions and choices, so they decide to take it out on others.

 

[maddhatir]

I mean, just the fact that so many of them have "mommy of" in their names is very telling.

I know some "mommies of" and mom DISers that are cool chicks and not nazi moms. I am sure we all do here on the DIS-

But it seems like those nazi moms really make my "claws come out"

 

[Liisa]

But my, what lovely claws they are, Maddhatir! Hehe!

Speaking of, did anyone else see that Saratoga Springs Spa was very highly rated in Conde Nast (forgive me, I don't have my DVC mag in front of me, so I can't recall how highly it was rated - I want to say in the top five in the country at least - or if it was definitively Conde Nast)? I haven't tried a Disney Spa yet, but it is quickly moving up my list of things to do! LOVE the ways that Disney caters to us grown ups... heck, I'm a princess too (actually, I'm the QUEEN, just ask my husband)!

 

[maddhatir]

But my, what lovely claws they are, Maddhatir! Hehe!

awww- why thanks Lis!

 

[HockeyKat]

Glad everyone had a great weekend! I spent mine doing absolutely nothing, and it was wonderful. DH is out of town for work, and I had a great two days of sleeping late and pampering myself... moving from chaise lounge to hot tub and back with a nice book.

I agree on the trolls and the "changing mind" aspect. I never even played with dolls growing up. My mom always tried to force them on me, and they creeped me out... I would turn their creepy eyes to the wall at night. I can appreciate a cute well-behaved child, but I just never experience that "pang" that says that I would want one. I am 31, have felt this way all of my adult life, and I just don't see this changing. I love DH's and I's quiet life.

I guess what I meant to say earlier is not that WDW itself discriminates against CF folk, just that some people with children tend to feel that WDW is "for children" and you should bend over backward to make sure that their child has a great experience, even at the expense of your own good time. I have no issue with offering a child a better view at a parade or a show. I do have an issue with the parent expecting the entire party to get in front of me because "they have a child", rather like the Davy Jones story from above.

It is a matter of respect and consideration. I just don't think some people think about what they are doing/asking for. However, not everyone with a child is disrespectful, just as not everyone without one is respectful.

I don't think this makes me bitter... just expressing my opinion about disrespectful people.

 

[zima-cheryl]

but I just never experience that "pang" that says that I would want one.

I thought I was the only person who never had the "pang" for kids. It is nice to know I'm not alone in that aspect.

Honestly, I get more excited when co-workers bring their dogs into the office than when ladies visit w/their new babies. I just never got all the oohhin & awwing over the infants.

 

[Mrs.Reese]

Here's an interesting article on overparenting or as some call them "helicopter parents." http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/06/25/CMG5EJ6PF71.DTL

Cheers!

 

[Muushka]

I never experienced that pang either. I always said that my biological clock is broken!

And I never played with dolls and I never babysat. Hmmmm, seems like a pattern here.

 

[maddhatir]

I never experienced that pang either. I always said that my biological clock is broken!

And I never played with dolls and I never babysat. Hmmmm, seems like a pattern here.

I never babysat either! I never thought of that- actually when I was growing up- Our family never had babies- it was always me and lots of cousins and they were either just a bit younger than me, the same age as me or older- no babies. I grew up in a large italian family.

In our family (my grandmother had 11 kids) I had 2 uncles and their spouses and 1 aunt and her spouse who never had kids- and one who never even married. I never asked why --I guess I really didn't care Maybe that is why I just grew up thinking it was OK-- b/c our family wasn't really the "judgemental" type!

We just went with the flow. No pressure.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

I never experienced that pang either. I always said that my biological clock is broken!

And I never played with dolls and I never babysat. Hmmmm, seems like a pattern here.

The summer betweem 9th and 10th grade, I babysat fulltime for one month for the two-year-old son of a friend of my sister's. He was a very sweet kid and I spent the whole time playing with him, reading to him, etc. I remember being so-o-o-o bored! The parents tried to get me to stay an extra 2 weeks but I couldn't stand another excruciating day of it.

I did play with dolls but it was all about hairstyles and outfits....I was never interested in babydolls.

 

[Liisa]

I did play with dolls but it was all about hairstyles and outfits....I was never interested in babydolls.

For me it was all about the love triangle between Sports Barbie, Bathing Barbie and Ken! In college I was also an avid watcher of Melrose Place and 90210.... Hmmmm, I see a pattern!

 

[Muushka]

Does anyone else, childless, besides me read the column by
John Rosemond that is in the newspaper every week (well, it is in mine)?

That guy is so right-on about child rearing. Today's article said:

"Children need to develop respect for adults....It is impossible for a child to develop respect for adults who act as if he hung the moon".

I love that man.

 

[maddhatir]

Does anyone else, childless, besides me read the column by
John Rosemond that is in the newspaper every week (well, it is in mine)?

That guy is so right-on about child rearing. Today's article said:

"Children need to develop respect for adults....It is impossible for a child to develop respect for adults who act as if he hung the moon".

I love that man.

I love that quote-- I just may put that in my siggy OMG can you JUST imagine!!!

I find it funny that many people that you do talk to say pretty much the exact thing- kinds now do not have respect for adults- however- the disrespect just continues.

I am afriad to think of how the next generation will turn out as adults-- and the pattern will just continue

 

[maddhatir]

I thought I was the only person who never had the "pang" for kids. It is nice to know I'm not alone in that aspect.

Honestly, I get more excited when co-workers bring their dogs into the office than when ladies visit w/their new babies. I just never got all the oohhin & awwing over the infants.

Welcome to the CF thread!!! Who would think on a DIS board you can find us!!

I agree! I am more excited about animals than kids. That has changed just a LITTLE since I now have little nieces and nephews- but I prefer animals over kids- even though my allergies and asthma won't allow for it--- the animals that is

Just a few minutes ago I was staring out my window at a squirrel (am I the only that cracks up at these little Ba$&@&ds ) anyway- I have no idea what he was doing- he was rolling around in the grass all crazy- I thought maybe he was dying and then he got up and ran away freak!

But when I see a kid outside- my mind goes blank and I walk away from the window

 

[Muushka]

But when I see a kid outside- my mind goes blank and I walk away from the window

Where is the Tag Fairy when you need him/her???

You would think that I have not met any wonderful kids in my life. I once had a roommate in FL that was a single mom in need of a safe place to live (her neighborhood turned into crack-town while she was living there).

Anyway, she had 3 daughters; 9,11 and 13. They were the best kids and I could not have loved them any more if I had given birth to them. In the 2 years that they lived with me I never once heard their mother yell at them. If they did something wrong, she just gave out the punishment. No yelling, no discussion.

And these kids respected adults. I remember times when the youngest was going to be left home by herself I would take her to whatever adult function I was going to and they would all be thrilled that I brought Julie!

My next door neighbor has 3 kids, 3 great kids. I don't have that much of a relationship with them, but I always enjoy seeing them. Polite, kind nice kids.

Yeah, I do really love (some) kids!

 

[maddhatir]

Where is the Tag Fairy when you need him/her???

You would think that I have not met any wonderful kids in my life. I once had a roommate in FL that was a single mom in need of a safe place to live (her neighborhood turned into crack-town while she was living there).

Anyway, she had 3 daughters; 9,11 and 13. They were the best kids and I could not have loved them any more if I had given birth to them. In the 2 years that they lived with me I never once heard their mother yell at them. If they did something wrong, she just gave out the punishment. No yelling, no discussion.

And these kids respected adults. I remember times when the youngest was going to be left home by herself I would take her to whatever adult function I was going to and they would all be thrilled that I brought Julie!

My next door neighbor has 3 kids, 3 great kids. I don't have that much of a relationship with them, but I always enjoy seeing them. Polite, kind nice kids.

Yeah, I do really love (some) kids!

I DOUBT the tag fairy comes to this thread! I think the TF is "family friendly"!

Sure- I know what you mean about some kids- they are like some adults you know- you either like them or you don't - I don't wish to see an adult throwing a tantrum either- but sometimes I just have to deal with it....and not like it

 

[maddhatir]

Those guys with the bald heads are trying to make a "sand sculpture, like at the beach" who are they- I am not sure- they seem to be "from out of town"

(compliments of: LoveStitch626)
http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/child-ruins-monks-intricate-sand-design/20070525093809990001

What makes me SICK is that she just left?!.....And never told anyone!?? hmmm- I wonder where the disrespect is learned??

 

[Liisa]

I hope that they find her (I imagine that with the video they will be able to identify the culprit and his mother) and hold her accountable - wouldn't that be considered vandalism or destruction of property. What a little monster she is raising!!!

My aunt works as a teachers aid at an elementary school. Apparently, the school bully (I imagine there is more than one, but this story is only about one of them) had been picking on a very well behaved, soft spoken 6th grader. After an entire school year of this, the well behaved boy took a pellet gun to the school after hours and nailed the bully with it. The police and school officials are now questioning the other 6th graders to determine all the details of this incident. One of the parents (of a 6th grader not directly involved but who would be questioned) contacted the school principal to say that their child would not be questioned without a lawyer present!!! And then we wonder why kids have no respect for authority! And I know from stories that my co-workers have told me, schools are not well equipped to deal with "bullies" because the parents all step up and fight that their little "angel" can't possibly be the cause of trouble. If the parents aren't going to back the school officials, how on earth can the schools be expected to maintain order? After a year of being picked on and the school not intervening, I can understand why that poor kid flipped out (I'm not condoning, just saying that I understand...)

And then people ask why I don't want kids! Even if I raise junior to be a respectful, wonderful child, I can't control the environment.

I my dogs!!! No thumbs - no ability to shoot pellet guns!