Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[plgrn]

Hi Guys! I've just been lurking a little since DH and I decided to be child-less instead of child-free, but since we are talking furbabies, mind if I join in?

This is our Boxer Casey

All tuckered out after his playdate (which most people we know think is ridiculous that we even take him to!)

My 14 year old Krissy

My 2 year old Chewie

The newest additions are Daisy and her nameless, feral babies who we were able to get spayed/neutered with the help of a rescue organization and are now feeding.

Thanks guys! I love to gush about my babies and most people either look at me like I'm crazy or give me that condescending smirk like "oh just wait until you have a REAL kids."

 

[plgrn]

OMG! I just noticed what got this whole furbaby discussion going. Geez. Somebody must have a Frito wedged in a very uncomfortable place to be that irritable.

There was even a thread on here about someone took her BABY DOLL to Disney and posted pics.

Guess I fit into that category! Mom and I took our Build-A-Bears to EPCOT for Teddy Bear and Doll Festival. Aren't they darling in their Disney princess costumes?

And just for you Madd...

 

[plgrn]

:
This is my fur-baby Booker. He was with me from childhood, and I recently had to put him to sleep because he had cancer. He was the most intelligent person I knew (more than some people I know! LOL), so I really did refer to him as a person. He was 16, and we're coming up on 1 year without him in NOV. I miss him so.

You can tell how smart he is by looking into his eyes!

Here is Trinity:

She looks EXACTLY like my childhood cat Coconut.

Below is my newest addition to the family. She had hung on my back porch for 6 years and I did not realize she was homeless (believe me, she looked great, someone must have been feeding her). Come to find out she was also a feral cat, very wild. When I realized what kind of a cat she was, I slowly got her to trust me.

Wow. It takes a special person to tame a feral!

MoMo, the quirkiest kitty in the world. She pokes you with her paw when she wants petties and now she's taught all the other cats to do it!

How sweet! She looks a lot like my Krissy. Gotta love a tortie!

 

[PoohBear321]

That is tooo cute! I love the princess costumes...pirate one is cute too. DH and I just LOVE to go to Build-A-Bear. I have several and the kiddo already has two and wants to go make a cat this time. Did you find the princess costumes at Build-A-Bear or someplace else?

I'll have to see if I can find some good pictures of my furbaby . Sadly I had to leave her with my mom when I got married...DH has allergies...and she passed away a few years ago. I still miss her.

 

[plgrn]

Yep, the outfits all came from Build-A-Bear. I really want a Mulan costume, but they can only be found on Ebay now.

Allergies are such a shame. I feel sorry for everyone who loves animals but can't enjoy them as much as they would like.

 

[jaksmommy]

I am so impressed by your decision. I have seen quite a few parents that probably shouldn't be. I have also known 2 couples that made the same decision and never regretted it. More power to you!

 

[Muushka]

I've lurked on this thread for ages. I have always found it very interesting and thought provoking!

I'm in an odd situation as I don't have kids of my own, but I am a step mom to an 8 year old girl and 5 year old boy. They were 5 and 2 when I came into their lives. I am a "part time" mom...my step kids keep asking when I'm going to "get a baby" and could I please "hurry and have a sister..."

The thing is, I'm not sure I want to be a "real" mom. Everyone assumes that b/c I'm a step parent I must be chomping at the bit to have some of my own. If anything, step parenting has been great birth control! Don't get me wrong, I love the kids to pieces. They are GREAT. I enjoy them most of the time. But I see how kids that aren't even MINE have strained my very young marriage...I can't imagine having one of my own. It's good to know I am not alone in this train of thought!!!

I'm actually one of those really bad people who enjoys going to Disney WITHOUT my step kids! (see if you admit that in any other thread on any other board you are bombarded with the or the ever judgmental )

You are certainly in a different position. But I kind of know what you are going thru (but mine was much easier!). When my sister had her children, I loved them to pieces. But at the same time they made me realize that I did not want to have any of my own. Way too much work! And now that they are all grown up (her kids) I REALLY am glad I made the decision that I did.

Hi Guys! I've just been lurking a little since DH and I decided to be child-less instead of child-free, but since we are talking furbabies, mind if I join in?


The newest additions are Daisy and her nameless, feral babies who we were able to get spayed/neutered with the help of a rescue organization and are now feeding.

Thanks guys! I love to gush about my babies and most people either look at me like I'm crazy or give me that condescending smirk like "oh just wait until you have a REAL kids."

Awwww. Feral kitties. Once you win them over, they will be the greatest pets that you can ever imagine. What a kind soul you are!

OMG! I just noticed what got this whole furbaby discussion going. Geez. Somebody must have a Frito wedged in a very uncomfortable place to be that irritable.

That is why I suggested that when we get trolled, we should ignore and post pictures of "our children". Notice that she has not been back?

 

[zima-cheryl]

I have got to get in on this showing off too.
We have 4 fur-babies (3 cats & 1 dog):

Boots is the youngest of the "kids". At 4 years he still has gobs of energy.

Stutter is convinced she is queen of the house & DH and I are just the domestics. I can't believe I'm competing w/a cat to see who is really the top gal around here.

Tiger (cat) is the resident chicken! And poor Ginger (our dog) is way out numbered...she is just too good natured to care.

This is my "niece" Maxine (my brother's dog) who any day now is going to find herself spirited off to "aunties" house for an extended visit!

 

[zima-cheryl]

Guess I fit into that category! Mom and I took our Build-A-Bears to EPCOT for Teddy Bear and Doll Festival. Aren't they darling in their Disney princess costumes?

The bears are toooo cute!

And I have to say - this is one of those things you have to love about Disney!
No matter what your age, they play along and even encourage you.
If you are having fun and being young at heart, they go with it.
Where else would you find people willing to pose like this w/someone's bears? Or understand why two adults want to have breakfast w/Pooh? Or why I need a new sticker every day to wear? Or why we wave at characters (and they wave back)?

Only at Disney! And that is one of the things that make it so great!

 

[PatriciaH]

Dh and I are in our mid 30's and have no children. We're not absolutely positive that we won't have any, but with each passing year we're getting closer to that decision. My question relates to your friends. I am now down to ONE female friend who does not have children and does not plan to have children. Two other very close friends don't have children yet, but are actively trying now.

How do you handle having no (or very few) friends without children? I don't mind visiting with children from time to time (I don't dislike kids, I just don't know if they're right for me..). I find myself very tearful these days. When my two dear friends announced that they're now trying to have a baby (after sitting on the fence for years), I put on a brave face for them, but once behind closed doors, I sobbed. I genuinely am happy for them for doing what makes them happy, but selfishly, I'm mourning the friendships I once had. ALL of my friendships with other friends who have children, have understandably changed. The dynamic is undeniably different. I don't blame anybody, that's just the way it has to be.

Am I alone in feeling lonely/left behind? Do all of you deal with it better, or have you gone out and actively met other like-minded people (ie. No Kidding group)? I'm thinking of joining the local chapter in our area. I just miss the care-free days of getting together with friends. These days, children are almost always involved (which, again, I don't mind sometimes....but it's now at least 95% of the time). I feel like I'm in mourning, but I feel guilty admitting that...

I probably sound terribly selfish and I'm sorry for that. Do any of you feel similarly?

We are SO lucky because we have three married couples we are friends with that are also child-free. We also have many single and gay friends here that do not want children. We have only one friend in FL that has a child and she is 13 and off on her own a lot. One other one wants children some day and she is the odd man out We have a great group of people that love hanging out and really get along. It is not unusual to go out in a group of 6+. The only other friends of mine that have children live far away (and sadly all of them but one couple are divorced!)

 

[aclov]

This past week was just proof that there are SO many ignorant people in this world. Between the Frito-Lay Lady with her comments and yesterday I had an incident at CVS. There was this woman screaming at her daughter around 9 to hurry up and push the cart. When I pass the aisle, I gave her a dirty look and guess what? She called me the B**** word and made some other rude remark, in front of her daughter. Real nice example, huh? Well, I decided to ignore her and than I went to the freezer to get some gatorade and got really upset. So I went to the front to look for her but she was gone. Now, I'm really mad at myself for not saying anything to her I'm not a confrontational person but it's really gotten to me how I let her say something like that especially in front of a child. I couldn't sleep last night and I keep replaying the stupid thing in my head with I should have said this, I should have said that. I have such a stomach ache. I know I shouldn't let stupid people get to me, but I can't shake it off. It makes me sad and more mad for the little girl that has such an awful mother.

 

[Liisa]

I'm with Madd... DH and I got busy on some outdoor projects this weekend and I missed the chip woman and the pet picture posting. I'm kind of glad I missed the chip woman. My two are definitely NOT mangy mutts. In fact, Pari (my royal princess - we are simply her butler and maid) would be very put out by that statement. Khabo could care less, he's too easy going to let anything bother him. I owe you guys pics. I posted some of Khabo quite a while ago (when we first adopted him after my Yeti passed away - see my avatar). He was about 30 pounds when we got him at 4 months old. He just turned 10 month and is already a whopping 95 pounds. He's enourmous!!!! Luckily he falls in love with everyone and everything.

I'll post up some pics tonight.

And, BTW, for you allergic people... Tibetans have hair not fur and are allergy free! (Of course, then you have to get over the idea of having a 120-140 pound fur-kid in your home!!!)

 

[PatriciaH]

This past week was just proof that there are SO many ignorant people in this world. Between the Frito-Lay Lady with her comments and yesterday I had an incident at CVS. There was this woman screaming at her daughter around 9 to hurry up and push the cart. When I pass the aisle, I gave her a dirty look and guess what? She called me the B**** word and made some other rude remark, in front of her daughter. Real nice example, huh? Well, I decided to ignore her and than I went to the freezer to get some gatorade and got really upset. So I went to the front to look for her but she was gone. Now, I'm really mad at myself for not saying anything to her I'm not a confrontational person but it's really gotten to me how I let her say something like that especially in front of a child. I couldn't sleep last night and I keep replaying the stupid thing in my head with I should have said this, I should have said that. I have such a stomach ache. I know I shouldn't let stupid people get to me, but I can't shake it off. It makes me sad and more mad for the little girl that has such an awful mother.

People are crazy. Just know that there are a LOT of very unhappy people with kids out there. truemomconfessions.com and truedadconfessions.com (and the news) prove it. Those families are train wrecks waiting to happen. Parents may insist they are SO THRILLED with their lives but most of them we know are not.

 

[maddhatir]

And, BTW, for you allergic people... Tibetans have hair not fur and are allergy free! (Of course, then you have to get over the idea of having a 120-140 pound fur-kid in your home!!!)

Hey Lis!

What stinks is, I am allergic to their saliva So when they lick their hair/fur- it is all downhill after that

It would kill me to take a chance getting a pet, be allergic and then have to get rid of it. I could never fathom how people can do that-

Get a pet, and for some unforseen reason, get rid of it. To me, I would think the feeling of giving up a pet would be like getting rid of one of your kids.....which may actually be easier than a pet

I know some people give the "excuse" that- well, we are now having a child and I do not want the dog near the baby- WHAT??! Or- we are moving and they do not take pets-- hello? I would find another place to live. I do not want to hear- it is not that easy!

My niece adopted a Chow/Pit Bull mix about 7 years ago and he is THE most mellow pup- well, when it comes to people he is mellow. When he is left alone he chews doors, widow screens, mmmmm OK everything in sight! He has abandonment issues. One time they left him alone- he jumped out of the upstairs window- onto the roof!

Anyway- 2 years ago she had a baby. Her and her DH never even entertained the idea of getting rid of the dog b/c he is family! You should have heard the people telling her and her DH to get rid of the dog! Like he was disposable! I would get FURIOUS when someone would say it in front of me!!!! How DARE they!? It would come out of their mouths like nothing. No thought involved.

Well, she still has the pup and her little boy jumps all over him, pulls his ears etc and the pup just lays there like, OMG someone please save me and get rid of the KID, is there a w ay we can send him back where he came form! I liked it better when I was an only "child"

The pup is VERY protective of her and her son too.

Can't wait to see pics of how big Khabo is getting!

I just got a very sad e-mail a few days ago- we used to live in a condo and our neighbor had a beautiful dog, Duchess- I am not sure what kind of dog she was- she looked kind of like a long haired German Shepherd- Well, they moved to CO last year.

The e-mail broke the news that they had to put her down b/c of Hip dysplasia- she had it on one side which made her favor the other hip- but she then got it in the other hip and she could not even walk! She was so precious and sweet!

 

[maddhatir]

People are crazy. Just know that there are a LOT of very unhappy people with kids out there. truemomconfessions.com and truedadconfessions.com (and the news) prove it. Those families are train wrecks waiting to happen. Parents may insist they are SO THRILLED with their lives but most of them we know are not.

What IS wrong with people anymore????

People seem like they just know nothing but HOW to be rude! Where are the courtious people at??? Well, usually WE all seem to gather in one place and complain about the rude people while the rude people lurk

You never see just small random acts of kindness anymore. Anytime I go out- I will be nice to people, the usual, please, thank you, hold a door- let people into traffic, if I have more items than you and you have one or two in the gorcery store I will let you in front of me!! -

The other day, DH and I were in a parking lot and getting on our bike, there was an older woman putting gorceries in her car and her empty cart started coming towards our bike. She said she was sorry, DH said not a problem and took her cart- walked a ways to the cart return and put it in there for her. Just yesterday, He was in the grocery store and he saw a woman who could not reach the top shelf so he ran up and helped her get what she wanted. If he is @ Home Depot and someone is trying to put something in their truck etc- he will go over and help them lift it! Why is it that most people do not do those thoughtful things anymore. They just look the other way. When he does them- the people do not know how to respond, of course, they do say thank you, b/c no one is used to kindness anymore!

Sure there ARE people out there who do help- but, they are getting few and far in between! It is sad.

wait- what does this have to do with kids???-- OH YEAH- what is it? LEARN BY EXAMPLE!

 

[druidia]

Frito FruitLoop wasn't bugging me until she referred to furbabies as "mangy mutt(s) and feline(s)."

Methinks someone should figure out how to use BC. We don't need any more serial killers in this world who started out being taught by their parents that an animal's life is worthless.

My oh-so-beautiful and very precious furbabies, Motor & Stitch, both rescue-kitties:

 

[Hixski]

What IS wrong with people anymore????

People seem like they just know nothing but HOW to be rude! Where are the courtious people at??? Well, usually WE all seem to gather in one place and complain about the rude people while the rude people lurk

You never see just small random acts of kindness anymore. Anytime I go out- I will be nice to people, the usual, please, thank you, hold a door- let people into traffic, if I have more items than you and you have one or two in the gorcery store I will let you in front of me!! -

The other day, DH and I were in a parking lot and getting on our bike, there was an older woman putting gorceries in her car and her empty cart started coming towards our bike. She said she was sorry, DH said not a problem and took her cart- walked a ways to the cart return and put it in there for her. Just yesterday, He was in the grocery store and he saw a woman who could not reach the top shelf so he ran up and helped her get what she wanted. If he is @ Home Depot and someone is trying to put something in their truck etc- he will go over and help them lift it! Why is it that most people do not do those thoughtful things anymore. They just look the other way. When he does them- the people do not know how to respond, of course, they do say thank you, b/c no one is used to kindness anymore!

Sure there ARE people out there who do help- but, they are getting few and far in between! It is sad.

wait- what does this have to do with kids???-- OH YEAH- what is it? LEARN BY EXAMPLE!

Your DH is just like mine Madd!!!! DH is the big bad a** looking guy who all the little old ladies love. His mother is 93 so she is a little old lady but he treats everyone like that. He is always the one to hold a door and what not. Of course he gets a little ticked when someone just goes ahead and shoves through a door and does not even say thank you. It doesn't stop him though. It is usually the people under 35-40 that act like he should hold the door for them. He has put stuff in peoples cars for them more times than I can count.

The thing that bugs us the most is the fact that it is people our age that are raising this incredibly rude and selfish (me ,me, me) next generation coming up.(Not all but alot, I don't need points)

 

[Liisa]

Madd,

I know what you mean about the saliva. My niece is allergic to saliva as well and Khabo is a licker. Poor thing gets a welt whenever he puts his tongue on her.

For all, I uploaded pics of my two "kids"... we used to have a cat - a black and white tuxedo named Sheba, but Khabo played too rough with her so "grandma" took Sheba. After 14 years of life with dogs, that kitty is living the lap of luxury. My mom even warms up her wet food for her. Talk about spoiled!!! (after 14 years, she deserves it!)

This is Khabo - I'm not sure this gives a good depiction of his size. I didn't have a pic of him standing next to a person, but he is TALL. When he fills out and gets his big adult coat on, he's going to be very handsome.

And this is Pari, our 4 year old. I'm totally biased (being her mom and all), but I think she is such a pretty girl. And her tail is this beautiful plume of fur. I think she knows she's pretty, she has that "boy, are you lucky to live with me" attitude!

And, for good measure, this is my Yeti ...who sadly passed away this January at 6 years. I don't think you ever get over missing them, I still get sad when I think about him.

Edited: Ok... I've got

at the end... why am I showing links and not pics?

 

[Liisa]

Well, I decided to ignore her and than I went to the freezer to get some gatorade and got really upset.

Aclov,

I'm the same way, I always think of the really good comebacks way too late. I know when I go to Walmart or the grocery store, I do a lot of head shaking at what I see. When we were little, if my parents had to tell us to do something more than once, we knew we were in for it. How often do you see a parent saying "Jimmy, I said get over here. I mean it, put that down and come here right now. This is the last time, I'm not kidding, come here..." and over and over and over!!! Gee, I wonder who runs the show these days!

On the bright side, by not having a comeback, you were the bigger person (I know, there isn't much glory in that and I also would have preferred some scathing retort!)

 

[maddhatir]

Madd,

I know what you mean about the saliva. My niece is allergic to saliva as well and Khabo is a licker. Poor thing gets a welt whenever he puts his tongue on her.

For all, I uploaded pics of my two "kids"... we used to have a cat - a black and white tuxedo named Sheba, but Khabo played too rough with her so "grandma" took Sheba. After 14 years of life with dogs, that kitty is living the lap of luxury. My mom even warms up her wet food for her. Talk about spoiled!!! (after 14 years, she deserves it!)

This is Khabo - I'm not sure this gives a good depiction of his size. I didn't have a pic of him standing next to a person, but he is TALL. When he fills out and gets his big adult coat on, he's going to be very handsome.

And this is Pari, our 4 year old. I'm totally biased (being her mom and all), but I think she is such a pretty girl. And her tail is this beautiful plume of fur. I think she knows she's pretty, she has that "boy, are you lucky to live with me" attitude!

And, for good measure, this is my Yeti ...who sadly passed away this January at 6 years. I don't think you ever get over missing them, I still get sad when I think about him.

Edited: Ok... I've got

at the end... why am I showing links and not pics?

Lis- Not sure why the pics are not showing up- But I clicked on the link and can see how beautiful they are!!!

OMG! Yeti's eyes! They seem like they can look right through you!