Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[LoveStitch626]

Definitely LoveStitch, I totally agree. In fact, what you posted is what I really meant to say by that, it was just a bit early in the AM for me and it came out wrong!

Usually I'm the one that can't get my point across clearly! Glad I could help ya out there.

 

[snusnu]

I wonder how many of you other CF couples are like us. We are surrounded by mainly other CF couples. We only have one couple among our friends who have a child, with another on the way. My brother and his wife have three (!) whom I adore with all of my heart, but I balk at attending a party or function when I know all of their friends are going to be there, because they all have multiple children. The insanity is just too much for me. We are travelling to WDW with two other couples, my DH's college roomates and their wives, in December, and I love going at an adult pace, doing adult things, etc. I simply don't feel that anything is lacking. I will miss my birds when I'm on the trip, though. My little poopers. Can I talk about them without being nauseating?

 

[HockeyKat]

snusnu, you have just described utopia for me.

Unfortunately, we are the last of our non-breeder couple friends, and our single friends are of the variety that will likly remain single (35+ and strange). We, like you, prefer adult-only events.

So, our lives pretty much contain us and our kitty.

 

[snusnu]

snusnu, you have just described utopia for me.

Unfortunately, we are the last of our non-breeder couple friends, and our single friends are of the variety that will likly remain single (35+ and strange). We, like you, prefer adult-only events.

So, our lives pretty much contain us and our kitty.

Hee. We describe one of our 35+ and single (by choice) friends that way. She's just so...so...odd. Sweet, but odd.

One half of one of the CF couples we'll be travelling with is so anti-child that she won't even go to movies anymore, unless they're at night and rated R. Disneyland is the only place she can tolerate quantities of them, so we're hoping that WDW will work the same magic.

 

[LoveStitch626]

One half of one of the CF couples we'll be travelling with is so anti-child that she won't even go to movies anymore, unless they're at night and rated R. Disneyland is the only place she can tolerate quantities of them, so we're hoping that WDW will work the same magic.

LOL Most likely! I rarely notice the kids at WDW anymore unless they're right there. There was one little girl sitting with her parents in front of us waiting for Fantasmic. My MIL was talking to her mom and another lady next to us. The little girl was the sweetest thing I'd seen in a LONG time. She had one of those whirlygig light up toys and she was passing it to all of us in that little group to try it out. Definately been taught sharing. She wasn't loud or obnoxious but very quiet and just a sweet little thing. Funny thing though, we were all having horrible visions in our head about that toy because this little girl had the fullest head of curly hair you could imagine.

As far as friends w/ kids... the lines are being drawn in the sand now as we speak w/ my circle. The friend throwing the shower for herself this weekend (posted a couple weeks ago about this griping) is on her 3rd. Found out this week DH's best friend knocked his wife of 2 months up. They were only dating 2 months before they decided to get married. They're thinking it's twins. Can you say doomed marriage? OH!! The kicker... they've told his sister (my best friend) she can move in & help with the kids. LOL She's one of the single/CF types. I couldn't believe the gaul of them. They basically want to be able to have their fun life and not be bothered w/ kids so hey.. why not get Auntie Em to come and be a nanny? Oh man... AND Dh's best friend couldn't even sack up and tell him in person. I found out on her myspace blog!!!

Have fun with that one guys!!!

 

[Hixski]

LOL Most likely! I rarely notice the kids at WDW anymore unless they're right there. There was one little girl sitting with her parents in front of us waiting for Fantasmic. My MIL was talking to her mom and another lady next to us. The little girl was the sweetest thing I'd seen in a LONG time. She had one of those whirlygig light up toys and she was passing it to all of us in that little group to try it out. Definately been taught sharing. She wasn't loud or obnoxious but very quiet and just a sweet little thing. Funny thing though, we were all having horrible visions in our head about that toy because this little girl had the fullest head of curly hair you could imagine.

As far as friends w/ kids... the lines are being drawn in the sand now as we speak w/ my circle. The friend throwing the shower for herself this weekend (posted a couple weeks ago about this griping) is on her 3rd. Found out this week DH's best friend knocked his wife of 2 months up. They were only dating 2 months before they decided to get married. They're thinking it's twins. Can you say doomed marriage? OH!! The kicker... they've told his sister (my best friend) she can move in & help with the kids. LOL She's one of the single/CF types. I couldn't believe the gaul of them. They basically want to be able to have their fun life and not be bothered w/ kids so hey.. why not get Auntie Em to come and be a nanny? Oh man... AND Dh's best friend couldn't even sack up and tell him in person. I found out on her myspace blog!!!

Have fun with that one guys!!!

All this makes me glad that I am 47. Everyone we know that has kids have ones that are drinking age at this point. Or close to it. We only have one set of friends that have small children. They get a babysitter any time we get together. They need to keep their sanity too.

 

[kennancat]

snusnu - I just have to say that anybody who uses a Jane Austen quote in their sig wins points in my book I'm not sure if I should admit it, but I am a member of the Jane Austen Society of North America.

 

[kennancat]

As far as friends w/ kids... the lines are being drawn in the sand now as we speak w/ my circle.

It's hard to judge for me - we have a few different circles. Used to have one large group of friends, but things have changed there - one couple moved and eventually divorced, another had a falling out with most of the other people. The remaining married couple has kids, and they're usually not too bad about it, but I still get the feeling they're expecting us to wake up one day and want kids. We see another group of friends (we're the newbies in that one) occasionally, and a couple of them are just starting to have kids. But still, the majority are without. I do wonder sometimes if couple not having children make up a larger proportion of the population than we realize. I fully expect "sky is falling" articles in 5 to 10 years lamenting the number of couples choosing to be childfree.

OH!! The kicker... they've told his sister (my best friend) she can move in & help with the kids.

So I have to ask - what did she say to this???

 

[dolcezena]

Hey All!

I've just realized we're pretty lucky - most of our friends are of the CF mindset too (at least at the moment, some of them are only in their early 20's). I suppose that might change, but for now the only thing we dread are my family get-togethers. The kind when my mom's side of the family gets together - all 40 of us or so. Well, now my cousins are having kids, ranging in age from 3 mo to 5 years. (The kids, not my cousins ) I think there's about 8 of them now. , with more on the way.

Just saw an interesting segment on 20/20 - about a restaurant owner who got tired of young kids misbehaving in his restaurant, so posted a sign saying kids were welcome, but they were expected to behave & use their indoor voices. Apparently a lot of parents initially flipped, (couldn't help thinking of the "mommy of's" ) & there were all kinds of news articles (worldwide) about this child-hating restauranteur. But then he started getting all kinds of SUPPORTING letters & articles & now his place is doing better than ever - WITH well-behaved children in it! Now that's a place I would go!

 

[Hixski]

Hey All!

I've just realized we're pretty lucky - most of our friends are of the CF mindset too (at least at the moment, some of them are only in their early 20's). I suppose that might change, but for now the only thing we dread are my family get-togethers. The kind when my mom's side of the family gets together - all 40 of us or so. Well, now my cousins are having kids, ranging in age from 3 mo to 5 years. (The kids, not my cousins ) I think there's about 8 of them now. , with more on the way.

Just saw an interesting segment on 20/20 - about a restaurant owner who got tired of young kids misbehaving in his restaurant, so posted a sign saying kids were welcome, but they were expected to behave & use their indoor voices. Apparently a lot of parents initially flipped, (couldn't help thinking of the "mommy of's" ) & there were all kinds of news articles (worldwide) about this child-hating restauranteur. But then he started getting all kinds of SUPPORTING letters & articles & now his place is doing better than ever - WITH well-behaved children in it! Now that's a place I would go!

Sounds like the Air Tran toddler incident. A few people thought Air Tran was wrong but thousands of other supported Air Tran. My personal quest is to keep kids off the bar stools at the bar. I don't give a rats butt if it is Applebees, it is a BAR you are trying to park your 5yr old at. Ok, vent over.

I wish more restaurants would take this attitude. I don't have any problems with kids in restaurants as long as they behave. I expect the adults to behave too.

 

[LoveStitch626]

So I have to ask - what did she say to this???

Oh she gave em a great big salute lol...each time they asked

 

[PghLybrt]

Just saw an interesting segment on 20/20 - about a restaurant owner who got tired of young kids misbehaving in his restaurant, so posted a sign saying kids were welcome, but they were expected to behave & use their indoor voices. Apparently a lot of parents initially flipped, (couldn't help thinking of the "mommy of's" ) & there were all kinds of news articles (worldwide) about this child-hating restauranteur. But then he started getting all kinds of SUPPORTING letters & articles & now his place is doing better than ever - WITH well-behaved children in it! Now that's a place I would go!

I started a thread on the community board about this because as a business owner I was quite interested on how people felt was the “correct” way to handle the situation. I have been pleased with the amount of parents who have posted saying they see nothing wrong with the sign…..

 

[LoveStitch626]

I started a thread on the community board about this because as a business owner I was quite interested on how people felt was the “correct” way to handle the situation. I have been pleased with the amount of parents who have posted saying they see nothing wrong with the sign…..

LOL Probably because everyone thinks their little darlin is well behaved.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

I started a thread on the community board about this because as a business owner I was quite interested on how people felt was the “correct” way to handle the situation. I have been pleased with the amount of parents who have posted saying they see nothing wrong with the sign…..

Not a parent, but I wish those signs hung (and were enforced) everywhere! A girl at the movies on Friday threw popcorn at people the whole time. Finally, when she threw a lid/straw, I told her firmly "Don't throw things". The parent had the audacity to yell at me! (after her daughter told her - she was actually sitting a row behind her kids) She told me don't speak to a child that way. I told her to watch her child, and to be quiet, she was a in a movie theatre. Then I ignored her as she screamed. Eventually she quieted down. Too bad there's no security at that theatre or I would have gotten them.

 

[druidia]

Not a parent, but I wish those signs hung (and were enforced) everywhere! A girl at the movies on Friday threw popcorn at people the whole time. Finally, when she threw a lid/straw, I told her firmly "Don't throw things". The parent had the audacity to yell at me! (after her daughter told her - she was actually sitting a row behind her kids) She told me don't speak to a child that way. I told her to watch her child, and to be quiet, she was a in a movie theatre. Then I ignored her as she screamed. Eventually she quieted down. Too bad there's no security at that theatre or I would have gotten them.

***??!! This is exactly why we never go to the movies!! DH can't stand to pay so much to listen to all of the bratty crying kids with the parents who won't get a babysitter, and tweens with their cell phones with the missing 'off' button.

If my kid acted like that in a movie theater, I would tan their hide. Oh, wait, I said I wouldn't be a spanker. I'll have to think of something else. It is precisely that type of behavior that makes me wonder if I could handle being a parent. I know I'm not the most patient person in the world, and I don't want to take it out on my kid.

 

[druidia]

I feel pretty much the same as you've described. I don't know that I'll ever feel 100% one way or the other, which is frustrating to me. I like certainty, darnit!

By the way, I was a Seabreeze Point bride too! We did our dessert party at UK, since we didn't have enough guests for the other areas.

I loved having our wedding there! We did our reception at FI so we could see Illuminations with our guests. It was so fabulous and by far one of the happiest days of our lives!

DH just told me that he has booked a 4 day trip for our 2 year anniversary next month. I can barely contain myself since we haven't been back since December. I'm jonesing!!!

On the CF decision, I really never thought I would find myself doubting. We were all ready to take care of the possiblity, IYKWIM, and started talking more about it and stopped the process. I like certainty as well, but finality scares me. We would never adopt, so this is the only chance if we decide to go forward. It is just so permanent, and that scares me. So far though, we are very happy with our CF lives, and have been for a long time. We enjoy spoiling our furbaby kitties Motor & Stitch!!

 

[LoveStitch626]

***??!! This is exactly why we never go to the movies!! DH can't stand to pay so much to listen to all of the bratty crying kids with the parents who won't get a babysitter, and tweens with their cell phones with the missing 'off' button.

If my kid acted like that in a movie theater, I would tan their hide. Oh, wait, I said I wouldn't be a spanker. I'll have to think of something else. It is precisely that type of behavior that makes me wonder if I could handle being a parent. I know I'm not the most patient person in the world, and I don't want to take it out on my kid.

Don't yall have an Alamo Drafthouse movie theatre? No I guess not. They're only in Texas (I just looked). This is an awesome theatre. Tables are set up in the theatre and you can order food/beer restaurant style. If a brat is acting up, you can write it down and put it in your flag that sits in the middle of the table (used for ordering/flagging down your server) and they take care of it and it's annonymous! Very cool place. Not to mention, they show other things besides new releases. They'll do old movies, RHPS, sports events, that sort of thing.

 

[WDWguru]

We have a brew pub theater here in Salt Lake called Brewvies. It's not very big, but they have two theaters and all the rows have little tables attached to the row in front of them. You order food before you go in and get a number, then when your number lights up on a little sign in the theater, you go out and grab it. Best thing is, it's a pub, so NOBODY under 21 is allowed in!

It's not the best theater for picture or sound, but it's a great place to catch a movie.

 

[Hixski]

I loved having our wedding there! We did our reception at FI so we could see Illuminations with our guests. It was so fabulous and by far one of the happiest days of our lives!

DH just told me that he has booked a 4 day trip for our 2 year anniversary next month. I can barely contain myself since we haven't been back since December. I'm jonesing!!!

On the CF decision, I really never thought I would find myself doubting. We were all ready to take care of the possiblity, IYKWIM, and started talking more about it and stopped the process. I like certainty as well, but finality scares me. We would never adopt, so this is the only chance if we decide to go forward. It is just so permanent, and that scares me. So far though, we are very happy with our CF lives, and have been for a long time. We enjoy spoiling our furbaby kitties Motor & Stitch!!

I think I am one of the older people here on this thread. I am 47, DH is 48. We have been CF long enough now to realize that it was meant to be for us. We just went out to lunch today with a younger friend of mine. (She is 30) She brought her 11yr old DD with her as always. Her DD just loves us. We get in our kid fixes like that.

DH and I have been together for 25 yrs. In that time we have seen almost everyone we know have children. Most now tell us they envy us. Some even go so far to say they wish they would have done it differently. Several have commented that they had children because they thought that was what they were "supposed" to do. I don't think most people will admit these things to another parent but they will to someone CF. We like it here on the "dark side".

 

[Muushka]

I am 53, husband is a little younger. Still very happy we did not choose the child route.