marcia's journal (comments welcome!)

[DavidandDenise]

Have a wonderful day, Sweetie!

 

[septbride2002]

Hi Marcia,
Sounds like a good day yesterday!

Your walks are an inspiration to me to get motivated and do some exercise - hope you find something for dinner!

~Amanda

 

[marsh0013]

beth - thanks for the extra warmth! i sure needed it this morning!

sharon - hey there! i really do feel like i'm having a good week, despite my off day sunday . and i love how we have mutual admiration for each other, i say you totally rock because of the stepper, and you give me props for running. i guess it's just great that we've both found the exercise that works for us! as for the pb situation, i was really disappointed too, because i had heard really good things about the "better n pb", but it tastes nothing like it! and it's got more of a consistency that reminds me of nutella. not that nutella is bad. just weird for pb. oh i don't know. i gave up anyway

cindy, denise, and amanda - hi guys, and thanks for the well wishes


so this morning, my run was rough! i don't know if it's just that i'm not used to being outside, or if the cold had something to do with it. maybe that it was more hilly than i'm used to. not that i ran big hills, i'm jsut so used to flat on the treadmill, anything of an incline outside i call a hill . i ran 4.35 miles in 47 minutes! that is so much slower than i normally run! that's close to an 11 minute mile! yikes! i'm much more used to around 9:45, maybe even 9:30. i think this is good for me though, making me realize that real life has hills, and that i really should be getting in as much as possible on real roads, not the treadmill. and this weekend is supposed to be nice, so i'll try to do both my runs outside. although, the 6 miler on sunday, i'll have to make sure i find a way to bring water with me. i can make it through 4 miles without it (ie, today), but i think going an hour running without water, i'm worried i'd hit the wall and my body might not want to finish.

so anyway, food talk. when i planned out my day last night, i must have accidentally entered my pria bar in twice, once in the "breakfast" section, and once in the "snack" section. so i thought i had less points to work with! crazy! but anyway, now i'm going to have smart start soy cereal in my yogurt this afternoon instead of 0 point all bran. and that still gives me another half point than i originally thought! (pria bar = 2, 1/2 cup smart start = 1.5). how funny. figures, the perpetual planner overplanned .

so i have 9 points to work with for dinner. i'm really thinking about making tacos, because amanda has them last night and it got me thinking i want them . i have soy crumbles in the freezer that i can use, add spices and salsa and all that good stuff. i know i have whole wheat wraps to put it in. and some mexican cheese too! mmmm, sounds good. we'll see though. if my mom has actually cooked tonight, that may change. but she rarely does, so that's probably what i'm gonna do

 

[sharoncity]

Hey, hows the evening going Marcia? I am just procrastinating going up to my stepper.... No, just kidding. I promise to head up as soon as I finish my dinner (I'm eating while I DIS )
Okay, so Props is the right lingo for support??? You can tell my age is showing now!
So what'd you end up with for dinner? I've got a bunch of pts left tonight. Not quite sure what if anything I'm gonna do with them.
Have a pleasant evening and I'll catch you tomorrow.
Gnight!
Sharon

 

[honeymo78]

Good for you getting up and running in the cold. I'm sure you can't wait for spring either. Hope you find something yummy to use that extra 1/2 pt on.

 

[hlane]

Marcia,

4.35 miles in 47 minutes to me that's amazing especially in the cold!! You Go!!! Keep up the great work!!

Holly

 

[marsh0013]

sharon - get on that stepper right now!!! hehe. and yeah, "giving props" is pretty much saying yeah good job. stuff like that

steph - thanks, and yes, spring can't come soon enough! and i still have that half point hanging around. but i'm not eating it...it's after 9, and i don't eat anything but sf jello after 9

holly - thank you for your kind words


so it was another boring day. stuck to the points (even .5 aps leftover). i actually "cooked" dinner tonight though, so i guess that was kind of exciting. most of the time, i just eat something my mom made, or have a sandwich or frozen dinner or something like that. but i was inspired by amanda's tacos last night, so i bought taco seasoning, and made "tacos" (more of a burrito i guess) with my soy frozen crumbles. had some sauteed peppers, mexican cheese, and lettuce with that in a whole wheat wrap. i also baked some asparagus, after tossing it with ff italian dressing. it was a very very yummy dinner

s: pria bar = 2
b: pb/banana oatmeal + other half of the banana = 4.5
s: 1 cup carrots + 2 tbsp hummus = 1
l: lc bagel + boca roasted onion burger + 2% american slice + 1 cup broccoli + 1/4 cup blueberries + 1/2 cup strawberries + 4 tbsp ff cool whip = 4.5 (huge and filling lunch for 4.5 points!!!)
s: columbo light yogurt + 1/2 cup smart start soy = 3.5
d: whole wheat wrap + 2/3 cup morningstar crumbles + taco seasoning + 1/8 cup mexican cheese + 1 cup asparagus = 6
s: smart ones peanut butter/chocolate giant sundae cup = 2

total: 23.5

goal for today was 24 (target 20, 4 aps). so today i'm only .5 under, as opposed to 1 under the past 2 days . very good, very good.

tomorrow is another day where i "can't" eat meat, being a friday in lent. i do it for the parents. did it yesterday too, for ash wednesday. funny thing is, i didn't eat any meat today either! i've been substituting a lot of soy products for meat lately, i think mostly because there hasn't been chicken in the house, and i haven't gotten out and gotten any. tomorrow, i'll be going to the fish market, probably make sole for dinner.

oh yeah! my parents are going away this weekend to florida leaving tomorrow (no, not disney...sarasota). for a long weekend, since it's my dad's bday tuesday. well, that would be nice, just me and my 17 year old brother home. but noooo, our grandmother is coming to stay. come on! i'm definitely a grown up (well, you know, kinda anyway...i definitely don't need a babysitter), and he's getting there. especially now that he has his license, we really don't need my grandmother to babysit us . they say it's because of my other brother who's 19 who doesn't live here. they say they're worried that he'll just stop by and cause problems (he's a problem child). ugh. just frustrating. this is the same grandmother who made the comment a while back that she doesn't want me to lose any more weight. so measuring out food should be fun this weekend, trying to make sure she doesn't see me and start freaking out. ugh, oh well, nothing i can do about it i guess

alright, i'm just killing time here. tomorrow is already planned out for food. no exercise planned, off day from running, but i may do some pilates. 15 minutes to go till er. i am not a fan of this stupid donal trump show. make it end! i think i'm gonna go channel surf to pass the time. gnite and hope you have a wonderful tomorrow

 

[Strings]

Hey Marcia,

My sister got her DH a cool thing for Christmas. He's the pscho marathon runner. It is a belt that has 4 small water bottles attatched. That way he can carry his water, but not be off balance. I can find out details if it is something you'd be interested in.

Have a good run in the AM.

Beth

 

[marsh0013]

hey beth...that sounds cool. i've heard that they have those, i just have no idea what's a good brand or where to buy them. that would be great if you could get his recommendation! thanks

 

[tlgoblue]

Good morning Marcia! Hope you have an excellent weekend. Grandparents can be cool. I still have mine and I'm 40! We spend the entire summer togather. We gossip, play euchre, party, (they're definately old school Manhattan and Scotch and water drinkers, while DH and I tend to drink more vino and tequila, though we have been know to have a yummy single malt scotch or a grey goose martini. Those old schoolies know how to party!), fish, cook. I mean I really can't spend enough time with them. Though Granny is baaaad for the old waistline. That is why I'm in such a push to lose all my excess baggage before they return from Florida!
Anyway, have fun.

Keep the Faith!
Tracy

 

[R_Judy]

Hang in the Marcia. You'll have a terrific weekend. You may want to pre weigh everything before Granny gets there. Food luck I mean good luck!

 

[sharoncity]

Its tuff I know Marcia. But look at it this way, with Grandma there, you don't have to get involved with your parents dealings with other brother. Ya know, if he did show up, you'd have to kick him out or whatever....Puts you in a very akward position with him. This way, you get to be a little more neutral. Someday, when things with him settle down, you won't have "issues" between you and you'll be able to be closer. Does that make any sense? I guess its the mom in me coming out....
So preweighing sounds like a pretty good idea, at least as much as you can. And if grandma wants to cook or something, just try to go with it. Enjoy her while you've got her! Make some memories, sit and REALLY talk to her. My DD had to do a paper in school, where you had to find out stuff about your grandparents that you didn't know. It was really interesting. Ask her about her teenage years. What was she doing at your age? What was life like? Is there some great family recipe she knows that isn't written down anywhere? Learn it!
Alright, no more preaching!
You did good yesterday! Props to ya!
Oh, on Thur nights, during Trump show, over on ABC, they have Extreme makeover. Wow, I can't believe what they do to these people. I don't think I personally would go through it, but it is amazing to see the results!!!! Something to pass the hour anyway.
Have a greatFriday today! Weekend weather looks amazing. I'm thinking I gotta get outdoors!!
TTFN-
Sharon

 

[toystoryduo]

Hey marcia~
You are doing an awesome job with running and maintaining your points! Keep up the good work!

My grandmother is coming over this weekend too, but for an entirely different reason. She will be babysitting my kids while DH and I go out for dinner and then go see the Passion of the Christ. I do agree with Sharon. If your brother did come over, then Grandma can take care of the situation and you can try to remain neutral.

I hope that you have a great weekend! Keep up the good work!



Tracy

 

[marsh0013]

tracy, judy, sharon, and tracy - thanks you guys! i know you're all right about just enjoying the time with my grandmother. i really need to stop looking at it as a negative thing and realize that i should cherish the time that we have together. i always focus on the little nit-picky things she does that annoy me, but i need to be more positive! nice big cleansing breath. ok. negative thoughts, out, positive thoughts, in. good.

sharon - thanks for the heads up about the extreme makeover show. i may check that out next week. this week, i just used that hour to get in a shower, update my journal, and just plain veg. we'll see how next week works out


ok, i posted something in amanda's journal, and i need to post it here for myself. what she's going through right now just totally struck me, because i feel the exact same way. and i need to put my reaction here too for myself.

amanda, i can totally relate! it's kinda weird, because we say that we're comfortable at the weight we're at, but we also know that we want to lose more. it's a really weird thing, but i know exactly what you're talking about. some days, i'll just think, i'm never going to lose the extra weight, why don't i just eat a little more (that cookie, that piece of chocolate, or heck, that whole bag of cookies, why not?) and try to maintain? but then sometimes i think, no, i really do want to lose the rest, what am i doing to myself? it's totally a crazy thing. i'm always worried that i'll be having a day where i think "whatever" and just totally sabotage myself. i don't know how to explain why it happens, i just want to figure out a way to make it stop!

maybe doe is right, the winter is a really hard time to stay motivated and lose weight. i know i'm going to do my best to stick to my plan though. maybe it will get easier with the warm weather. maybe the fact that we'll have to be wearing less clothing (t shirts and shorts instead of long sleeves and pants) will help with the motivation.

i don't know. i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. big . we can do this amanda. hope you start to feel better about it. one day at a time sweetie. one day at a time

this whole "sabotage" thing is something i feel like i deal with every day. i guess i've been putting out a kinda deceiving vibe that i'm just cruising along. but i'm definitely not. some days are harder than others, but sometimes, i really do feel like i want to sabotage my healthy way of life. like i said, i really don't understand it, i just want to figure out a way to make it stop. so that's that for now.

ooh, and i totally almost did it today! not in a huge way, but still. someone brought scones into our office today. there were cranberry, raisin, and cinnamon ones. now, cinnamon things i love. i didn't have one first thing this morning, because i had just eaten breakfast. i avoided them as i filled up my water cup a couple times. but around 10:45 (just about snack time), i decided that i wanted to get myself a nice cup of coffee and a cinnamon scone. i even figured, they're small, they're probably about 2-3 points each, that's not so bad. i'll just sacrifice something at lunch or dinner (and that is so stupid...today is a 20 point day, i really need to use my points on healthy filling things!). well, anyway, i made up my mind, went into the kitchen, got my cup of coffee ready, looked into the bags of scones and...they were all gone! oh thank goodness! somebody up there is looking out for me, because i definitely wasn't looking out for myself! still had my cup of coffee (w/a little skim milk and splenda). i try not to drink coffee, but well, today, i really wanted it. and it was good . oh, and i had the apple that i brought for my planned 11am snack.

i'm really glad those scones were gone. because i'm afraid i may not have stopped at one. i think i'm really going to have to be careful today with food, because i'm feeling like it's a sabotage type of day. i think when i go home for lunch, i need to look at the pictures i have of myself on the computer. i had my mom take "before" pictures of me on valentine's day. i'm wearing a sports bra and small tight shorts, and it shows me the fat that is hidden by my long sleeves and pants. i think i need that motivation.

alright, enough out of me for now. i'll report my full day later, and maybe check in again if i feel like i need to vent or anything

 

[sharoncity]

Marcia - here's what I think. I think you need to learn to have just one cookie or one piece of chocolate or whatever. By denying it all together, you set yourself up for a binge fest. And it is a mind thing as well. If you tell yourself 1 piece will send you on a binge, it probably will. But tell yourself 1 piece is okay. It's kind of like the running thing where your tape was too short. Mind over matter. Like me, I'd LOVE to have pizza for dinner tonight. But I can't have 3 pieces - that would be self defeating. But 1 piece would certainly be fine. Ease up on some of your other issues, like getting all the dairy in. Have an ice cream for your dairy. Its a treat but good for you. Take smaller steps honey! You seem to think its full submerge or nothing. There is a midway point, you just need to find yours.
My other advice is, be careful not to eat too little. Your metabolism ends up slowing down and then you'll be really messed up (like I am now! ) I don't normally eat a lot, but I still managed to put this weight on. All my yo-yo dieting has caught up to me! When I simply cut back on food, my body shuts down. That is why the exercise is so crucial for me. I'll never lose the weight by diet alone.
Okay, I hope your doing better and some of this makes sense to you.
Have a good evening!
Sharon

 

[marsh0013]

sharon, i know you're right. i need to ease up and not be so hard on myself. sometimes, i really would rather a 2 point treat later in the night, and skip the 2 point yogurt in the afternoon that i'm not eating because i'm hungry, but because i feel like i need to get in the dairy. very true that i do that, thanks for giving me a little perspective on it

about the have the 1 cookie or 1 piece of chocolate thing though...i think that at the time, it's not even that i want the specific food item. i just want to cheat. more like, i want to cheat, and then be able to get away with it. maybe i didn't rebel enough in the teenage years. my parents tell me i was the perfect child. i never did anything i wasn't supposed to. so maybe i want to try to "beat the system" now. i think the way my mind works, i'm telling myself that i went so long just eating whatever i wanted, and did just fine in my size 12s. at my highest ever weight, i was probably about 150. so that doesn't even sound that bad to me, but now actually thinking about it, i'm almost 20 pounds lighter! sure, almost all of that was taken off before ww, by no specific effort at all. but i do know that now i'm getting trimmer.

i think i just need to give this a chance to work. go through a longer period of time really sticking to the program, and see what happens. i don't think i've made it a whole week yet without cheating! maybe my first week, i don't remember. and i have to not think that i need to cheat, and that the bit of a "high" i get from cheating just goes away a few minutes later when i start to feel the guilt. you'd think that the gain a couple weeks ago would have proven to me that i can't beat the system. cheating will cause a gain. i guess that's just a hard concept for me to grasp after living so long eating whatever i wanted and maintaining a weight and size.

ah, mindgames i'm playing with myself. i think getting this all out will help. maybe i can try to rebel in other areas. haha, any good suggestions? oh who knows. i'm feeling much stronger right now. maybe i'm extra motivated not to screw up today because weigh in is tomorrow. either way, i want to stay on plan. i want to do this for me. ok, i feel better now. time to go cook dinner! fillet of sole, brown rice, and steamed broccoli. mmmm. really looking forward to it . i will be back later with a full report of the day's eating.

 

[marsh0013]

b: lc thomas bagel + morningstar pattie + 2% american cheese = 4
s: cup coffee + 1/4 cup skim + splenda + 1 apple = 1.5
l: soup at hand cream of broccoli + 1 cup carrots + 2 mini ww pitas w/ 2 tbsp hummus + 1 cup cucumbers + 1/2 cup red peppers = 6
s: columbo light yogurt + 1/2 cup all bran = 2
d: 2.5 oz sole + 1/2 cup br rice + 1 cup broccoli = 3.5
s: 1 cup strawberries + 1/2 cup blueberries = 1
s: smart ones pb and chocolate giant sundae cup = 2

total: 20

and 20 was my goal today. didn't end up doing pilates. spent time with grandma instead . we were doing real well till she turned off the timer that i was using to bake sharon's ff banana bread. well, i got a little upset, but oh well. i just kept checking it and checked it with a toothpick, i hope it's cooked okay.

tomorrow is a busy day. starting off with weigh in! don't know if i'll be able to report in the morning though. gotta get in a 3 mile run plus 1 mile walk, breakfast, and shower before my best friend picks me up at 10am. i'm going to her crew practice with her. then i'll have a bit of time after we get home, then it's off to church and out to dinner with grandma. maybe out with my best friend tomorrow night. not sure.

tomorrow i'm starting on wendie again. super high day of 35 points. i'm gonna go with the wendie plan points, but i'm gonna add in all my aps if i want/need them. so tomorrow has the potential to be a 39 point day. cool. alright, i'm just finishing off laundry and headed to bed early so i can get up early. hope everyone has a great night and a wonderful tomorrow

 

[R_Judy]

Sounds like your day went OK. Sorry Granny messed with your timer. If that's the worst of the day then you did great! Good luck today.

 

[sharoncity]

Good morning Marcia!
It is a beautiful day, sunny and warmer than it has been in ages. I won't get all phylisophical on you today. Its just too nice out for that stuff! Besides, you've got 39 pts today. There is NO WAY you can cheat with 39 allowed pts!!!!

I think that just by recognizing all these issues, you are starting to understand your mental state (I don't mean that in a bad sense )You are learning about you and your triggers and WHY you want to eat/binge/cheat. That is a good thing. Your gonna get it all figured out sweetie. It is all part of YOUR journey. (And here I said I wasn't gonna do this...)

Have a super day today. Sorry Grandma messed with your buzzer. Hopefully the bread still came out good. I think you'll love the stuff. I know I do! Enjoy your run, you've got beautiful fresh air to go with it today.

TTFN-
Sharon

 

[DavidandDenise]

I know what you mean about wanting to sabotoge your diet. I had one of those days yesterday at school (it usually happens on Fridays at school). I figure the weight isn't going to come off anyway, so I might as well eat what I want. On both Wed. and Thurs. there were donuts in the lounge and I did not give in to temptation--I was so proud of myself. Yesterday, I walked down there with every intention of eating whatever was there--luckily, just like the scones, there was nothing there! So, I had my planned snack and felt much better. I'm so glad I gave up M&Ms, otherwise I know I would have gone and gotten some. I'm not sure how often this happens, but now I can keep track in my journal and see what triggers it. Right now I'm thinking Friday? or the time of the month that it it? or just wanting to give up? I'm glad someone was looking out for both of us in the snacking department. I hope your bread turned out well--it does need to be cooked a long time, but it's really good. Enjoy your time w/ Grandma--I'm glad you got to spend some time with here last night. I hope your super busy morning has gone well! Have a great day!