March 22-24: Anything you can eat, I can eat more of...or not...

[blueangel]

You're interested in what I have to say? I'm an 8th grade teacher so it's very nice to hear that once in a while!

Everybody neat and pretty? Then on with the show!

Day 3

Breakafast - Sassagoula Floatworks & Food Factory
We felt horridly guilty over the food we threw away. We knew deep down that we were only helping by feeding the starving Disney landfill inhabitants, but it still hurt. We decided to share. Can that be right? Things seem to be going awry in our stuff-ourselves-til-we-pop plan.

One order of bacon: They kind of burned it this morning, and mom being the carnivore she is definitelynoticed it. She let it pass though, choosing to get upset at a different issue instead. It seems they were training a new food server and he had to be told multiple times how to place each piece of bacon or some such thing silly thing. I was otherwise occupied.

One order of 3 beignets: I'd heard rumor that these were not up to Cafe Du Monde standard. I was willing to give it a go, but keep in mind I lived in New Orleans for five years. It's going to take a good effort to for me to give rave reviews. Well, I was pleasantly surprised when I asked for them, and the bakery dude went and got a tray of dough and dropped three nice gooey ones into the fryer just for me! How Disney special I felt! And the excitement just grew as I waited for them to fry up nice and hot and get dusted with sugar white...sugar...

Okay, they were finally done and I grabbed my tray and went to find mom...at the same counter I left her at. That's right-they freshly fried three beignets before they could put six pieces of already burned bacon on a plate. I couldn't help it. I and when I picked myself up ran to line to buy mom coffee before she exploded.

One coffee: just as terrible as yesterday
One bottle of water: just the same as it is everyday

We sat down and I ran off to fetch something for my sweet but caffeine deprived mother, I returned to find sawing at some unrecognizable rubber pancake. That's right, the beignet she was trying to cut in half completely deflated when touched with the knife. Think popped balloon. Think half cooked souffle when an elephant invades your kitchen. Think Thackery Binx post-bus. We ate but the mood did not improve because of the food and caffeine.

On the other hand, this kept us from eating too much breakfast!
Total: $8.30 (I did remember the DDE this time, thankfully)

We moved on for a Magic Kingdom morning and were awarded a Dream FastPass! Things were looking brighter. All that running around worked up quite an appetite...and you guessed it...

Snack Time! We just happened to be in Tomorrowland, when Mr. Tom Morrow, who still can't find his party from Jupiter, reminded me that there was some sort of yummy snack hiding underneath the solar system. We marched right up to the Lunching Pad and ordered not one, but two sweet cream cheese pretzels and a diet coke. No sharing food here! We'd never had these before, but we'll have plenty in the future

These are tasty. The outside pretzel part is just chewy enough, the inside cream cheese isn't too overwhelming, they are dusted with some sort of magic pixie dust that makes it all even better. I cannot do these justice. Trust me, they are fantastic.
Total: $10.30

You read correctly, dear ones. No need to adjust your . Snack Time! cost more than breakfast, but proved the old adage that you get what you pay for, in Disney food at least.

Moving on, did you really think we'd get much further without another--

Snack Time! in Frontierland
Eventually I couldn't stand it anymore. The most amazing smell wafted through all of Adventureland. That's right, it was the egg roll cart.

I'm just messing with you. It was of course. So when I checked out the penny machine at the Tom Sawyer Island landing and found myself standing next to a bunch of people , I said to myself, "Self, if all these people are eating popcorn, there must be someone selling popcorn." And BAM there it was. So I bought it.
Total: $3.75

I couldn't resist the souvenir bucket-- it was a new design!

We had a concert tonight, and my girls did fabulous, but that means I'm out for now. Coming up next: Afternoon Tea at the Grand Floridian and the big daddy of them all, Le Cellier.

 

[blueangel]

So we hopped a monorail to the massive Grand Floridian where I discreetly sign spotted and successfully led my mom straight to the Garden View Tea Room (noted as the Garden Grill on my Dreams Unlimited trip summary, thank goodness I made the reservation myself). Heaven help me if I'd gotten lost since I'd delayed our exit from the MK until the last minute to ride Buzz just one more time

Tea Time! Garden View Tea Room
Beware the wait here. We were on the verge of getting annoyed when we were seated. You see, they don't open until 2:00, so when we arrived at 2:12 and had to stand around the lobby for about 10 minutes, I was definitely getting itchy. The caffeine was wearing off my mother and we needed help now! At this point I couldn't see any empty tables in the place and I was goign to be seriously or if we had to wait for everybody in that place to hang out and finish their tea when they could only have started 12 minutes ago!

In fact, a mom and her little daughter (four or five) walked up and asked if they had any room. Quiz time! The hostess said:
a. Sorry, we're completely booked for the day.
b. Sure, come on in!
c. We can't take you right now, but I can book you for later this afternoon!
d. Come back in 15 or 20 minutes.


Well, let's see. Which one makes the least sense? That's right-D! You've won a brand new car! Here it is: And the people walked away. At this point, I am fearing for my carefully planned mother-daughter bonding time.

Fear not, dear readers, we were seated after about 10 minutes...in a row of empty tables. I kid you not. There were two empty tables on one side and three across the aisle. You can't see them from the ground since you walk up two steps to get into the place and we were seated against the wall that divides it from the lobby.

And ten minutes later the mother and daughter were seated on the other side of the stairs. I can understand why they did this - there were only three servers. Granted the place is small, but if you're going to stagger seating like this, couldn't you stagger the reservations better?

Our lovely server, Paula, was being overworked by a young girl's birthday party near the windows. So we settled in for a long, but enjoyable afternoon. When we ordered we told her that neither of us could have cucumber, and she assured us it wouldn't be a problem. They would simply substitute another kind of sandwich.

We both decided on the Grand Tea, the big daddy of them all. Three courses and two drinks that could fill an elephant. First concern...the tea. She chose the Eros and I settled on the Mad Hatter. Paula brought us each our own lovely tea pot in the same pattern as the sugar bowl and a lovelier red velvet tea cozy to cover them.

The Eros had orange and vanilla flavors. Mom adored it and we are now on a city wide hunt to find more. The Mad Hatter was flavored with passion fruit, pomegranate, and vanilla. I liked it better than the Eros. We both dove for the sugar bowl and the two flavors worked really well sweetened.

For our first course we were given our tea sandwich plate. Don't be confused here, as the tea sandwich plate contained much more than mere sandwiches. There were five sandwiches, an onion tart, and a slice of pate.

The onion tart: I loved this, and mom wasn't a fan. It was like a little-bitty sweet onion pie. I didn't really taste the onion--it was jsut sweet.
The pate: I refuse to eat this, but mom gave it a try. It contained cherries and pistachios, according to Paula. Mom loved it.
The solution: I have mom my pate and took her half finished onion tart. Perfect.
The outcome: Mom raved about this so much and so long that my dad finally told her what it was. She hasn't mentioned it since.

Shrimp salad on white bread: Very tasty without being too shrimp-y
Chicken salad on brown bread: A little dry, but definitely edible
Pear and gorgonzola on brown bread: Good! We were worried about this one, but the pear had been marinated in something before hand and the cheese wasn't very strong.
Egg salad on white bread: We each had two of these. Apparently the fifth sandwhich of the day was cucumber and watercress (which looked like a mess of greens and difficult to eat). Decent egg salad, but not much flavor.
The winner: Shrimp salad

We were served our sparkling wine with the sandwiches, and each came with a strawberry perched on the lip of the glass. I'd never had Domain-Ste. Michelle before and it was good.

Our next course was scones, with cream and jam, and a jam tart. Mom found the jam tart to be too sweet. I enjoyed mine but couldn't eat hers. The scones were very good, nice and sweet with raisins inside. We both ate every crumb of scone and every dollop of cream.

The final course was dessert (as if the last course hadn't been). I had been watching all options of dessert go by, and so we knew that the bowls of trifle and strawberries with cream were enormous. I got the trifle knowing we'd split it. We both tasted it and knew it didn't matter what she had ordered -- it would be inferior. THe strawberries were ripe. The cream was rich. The cake was sweet. The jam was perfection. You cannot make a better dessert than this without chocolate.

Mom got the pastries--a cream puff swan and an eclair. She promptly bit the swan's head off. That's my mom! I tried both, and they were a little plain after the trifle, but probably good. You really couldn't compare. For those who are curious, the pastry caddy also had some fruit tarts, chocolate covered strawberries, and something that looked a little like a napoleon.

In and amongst this we each had about five cups of tea, using half the bowl of sugar cubes. So...we couldn't finish the bowl of trifle. Seriously, it was huge. There are pictures on the dis - find them. Then go to the Grand Floridian and eat some. It's that good.

We left here very satisfied with both food and service (once we got in). We will most definitely return. And for you male members of the species out there, I counted 8 and a half men. One belonged to the birthday party, one and a half were with wife and daughter, the rest were husbands and boyfriends with their female counterpart. There was also a bridal shower going on.

Total: $55 (yes, I remembered the DDE, but it would have been well worth it without it)

 

[pperfectmom]

I'm loving your reviews. I wish we could fit in the afternoon tea but I don't think it would be worth it with my 2 young hooligans.

 

[huggiebear23]

Can't wait for a slushy

 

[DisneyJo]

Lovely reviews, love your description of the flat beignet

 

[oybolshoi]

Excellent reviews - very amusing and enjoyable.

You tried the alcoholic slushies!! Aren't they delish?

 

[blueangel]

You tried the alcoholic slushies!! Aren't they delish?

I must since YOU are the reason I tried these. I usually glide through France straight back to the bakery, but I read in your report about what wonders were to be found at this small, overlooked hut. Oh the missed opportunities over the years...

 

[blueangel]

With our bellies full of tea, sandwiches, pastries, scones, cream, strawberries, the kitchen sink, and so on, we drug each other onto the monorail for the trip to Epcot. Seriously, we could have laid down in the lobby of the GF for some naps but that meant an attempt at not rolling down the stairs since we'd hauled our loaded bladders up to the bathroom. The monorail seemed to be the path of least resistance.

Since naps were in order we headed to the Universe of Energy, whereupon our exit I noticed another little slice of Disney Heaven--a coffee stand. My caffeine radar must have been working perfectly, since I have never seen this place before in my life. It's tucked away on the right hand side of the path closer to Innoventions than the path to the UofE. As well as the not-quite-myriad of coffee possibilities they had "smoothies" available. They looked like fruit flavored slushies to me, but oh well. I think it was hot chocolate, hot coffee, iced coffee and mocha, and frozen mocha.

Snack Time! I, of course, went straight for the mocha frozen slushie thing. What they call it, I haven't got a clue. Was it full of coffee and chocolate, oh yes. More please, now!
Total $4.25

We wandered around until we couldn't stand it anymore and showed up salivating at the doors to Le Cellier. They took pity on our bedraggled and starving state and agreed to throw us some scraps about half an hour ahead of our scheduled 8:20 feeding.

Dinner - Le Cellier We somehow missed the spiel on how the restaurant is set up and where our server is from. We must have had HUNGRY stamped on our foreheads. At any rate, we were quickly served our drinks--just water for mom and iced tea for me.

Wait a second! Where are the adult beverages? I know, I know. I promised an absolute onslaught of food and drink, but we were at our intake limit. We made a choice- food over drink- and went with it.

As we'd had planned for 6 weeks, mom ordered the Prince Edward Island Mussels (served chowder style) and I got the cheddar cheese soup. Both were delicious but...very salty. We were very thankful for the bread. It kind of cut the saltiness, and we were able to finish. Don't get me wrong, they were both very good.

We decided that the salt in her dish was necessary in part to flavor the mussels themselves. I don't eat oceanic filters, but mom said they were flavored perfectly (and there were a good many in that bowl). It was just the broth and potatoes mixture that was overwhelming. My soup was fine if you took little bitty tastes, but if you ever wanted to move on to another course you had to use the bread.

A note on the bread- the pretzel bread was excellent, and I am in agreement with those who say it is better than that in the castle, but I like the sourdough better. I know, I know. I can't help it. I love sourdough, and this was good sourdough. Nice and soft and tangy. Highly recommended.

At this point we had a chance to people watch some. The family seated behind my mother (I was on a banquette against the wall) was on the dining plan. This was truly my first experience in feeling sorry for a kid at Disney World. The poor thing was served his carrots and celery while mom got a salad (caeser, but with the pecan dressing), dad got the shrimp cocktail, and sister got the tenderloin. The poor thing later ended up with a hot dog while everyone else had steak. It went home in a box.

For our entrees we ordered one herb crusted prime rib with veal demi glace and one sauteed shrimp. They were salty. Really - we don't hate salt! My mother claims I put too much salt on my food and she's been known to go overboard herself. I think the chef who prepared whatever they were using for a cream base or broth must have just stubbed his toe when he was holding the salt shaker or something. At any rate, we ate the shrimp and noodles off the top, trying to shake off as much of the sauce as we could. It was very good, then

By the way, there were 10-12 very nice sized shrimp in this dish. They were pink and firm and not shrimpy at all, if you know what I mean. I hadn't intended to even get an entree, just a salad, but I couldn't help myself. This dish was worth the misery I endured later than night after eating so much.

Poor Mother tried her hardest but couldn't finish her steak. I think it really hurt her somewhere deep inside. I tasted it, and it was good. The meat was very tender, and we think the salt issue came from the glace. If you order this, may I suggest you get the glace on the side? You can always add more, but you can't take it away. The potatoes were okay. I can't say much about them because I don't remember them. Which is very odd if you know me. The Irish in me comes out around potatoes. Which leads me to believe they must not have been spectacular.

During the break after our entrees were removed we surveyed the dining room once more. It's better than At the booth two down, a kid inquired of his mother, "Do they eat this well in Canada all the time?" At the booth behind them a departing party realized the baby was fascinated with the mirror and the rest of the restaurant was treated to dinner theater of half a dozen adults and in the mirror to amuse the infant.

The couple next to us thoroughly enjoyed their three appetizers (shrimp cocktail, cheddar cheese soup, and the mussels. They also downed about 6 pretzel bread sticks - they asked for extra as soon as they were seated. My mom was but they were happy.

Stick a fork in mom-she's done. Not only did she eat the vast majority of her steak and potatoes, all her mussels, and some bread, but four of my shrimp and some of the pasta! That lady was FULL. So only I ordered dessert, and of course she had some.

I got, drum roll please, the creme brulee. Is there any other dessert here? I had been dying to try the maple creme brulee for years. Was I going to let a little detail like my being stuffed to the gills get in the way. Heck no! You can do it!

And we did. We ate it all. Every sugar crispy crumb and dollop of custardy goodness. But I'll let you in on a little secret, shhh... we like the vanilla better than the maple. The maple was a little too pancake syrup-y. Here's another little secret - I've had better creme brulee. The chocolate creme brulee in France at the F&WF, for instance. This was a little watery and not quite creamy enough for my taste, but still plenty good to be well worth the pain and suffering.

We stumbled out into the evening just as Illuminations finished.
Total: $70.00 (with DDE)

Snack time! Are you crazy? We couldn't eat a Tums after this day! But we did stop in at the SF&FF to get three rice krispies treats to take home to my dad using our DDE. Beware - there was only one cashier and while the poor thing did her best there were just waaaay too many people in there for that.
Total: 7.41 (with DDE)
I admit it, that includes a red mickey straw. It was 49 cents. Sorry.

Up next, we say good-bye to a part of my childhood--the Concourse Steakhouse , and the strangest Snack time! of all.

 

[oybolshoi]

I must since YOU are the reason I tried these. I usually glide through France straight back to the bakery, but I read in your report about what wonders were to be found at this small, overlooked hut. Oh the missed opportunities over the years...

Excellent...rubs hands together ala' Mr. Burns...I'm really glad you enjoyed them. I would have felt just terrible if you'd purchased one and then come back and said, "Blech! That was nothing more than frozen swill in a cup! That Oybolshoi chick is crazy..."

Still enjoying your reviews - you should go for a regular trip report, too. I think it would be extremely amusing.

Happy Friday.

 

[DLo]

Great reviews. Love your sense of humor and all the details.

 

[Busymom85]

Fun reviews to read, thanks.

 

[undertheseas]

Oh you are cracking me up! Want to go with us in September????

 

[blueangel]

...That Oybolshoi chick is crazy..."

Still enjoying your reviews - you should go for a regular trip report, too. I think it would be extremely amusing.

Oh you are cracking me up! Want to go with us in September????

Well...
Oybolshoi-
1. I do think that Oybolshoi chick is crazy, just in a good way

2. If maniac children hadn't stolen what's left of my memory I might have tried a regular trippie. I almost walked out of the house with my bunny slippers on this weekend! I'll see what I can do next time...I think a trip all about food as opposed to mostlyabout food might prove more memorable

undertheseas-
3. I'd love to, thanks! Can you talk to my boss about some more time off? I think I might be pushing it, but maybe if you ask for me...

Seriously, thanks all for the nice comments. I'm sorry it's been a while. My 26 year old body decided to fall apart. Up to this point I'd only taken sick days to go to the dentist for a cleaning. Now I've got stitches and am downing painkillers and antibiotics like there's no tomorrow

You know who are my heroes? People who wear every day. You guys rock. Fogging, scratches, no , dirty spots, and not being able to immediately access red, itchy eyes really burns my mittens. I've been frightened to death about surgery before, but now I feel like shouting BRING ON THE LASERS! Disney in glasses... Can't imagine. Ya'll deserve a "special" slushie just for that.

Now...on with the show!

 

[blueangel]

Breakfast - The Concourse Steakhouse We chose this place not because of the usually reliable food, not because of the stunning mosiac on the elevator shaft, not because we get to make all the peons on the express monorail jealous, not even because of the entertainment of watching people duck from the sparrows, but simply because it's rumored to be closing.

You see, we do love the Concourse Steakhouse, and it is because of all those reasons I listed above. HOWEVER, they do not serve Tonga Toast or Pineapple Macadamia Pancakes. This puts the CS at a serious disadvantage when I only have one available breakfast. Being an old sap however, I practically cried my way over to a lovely parking space next to the nuclear wasteland...whoops...make that the former site of the north garden wing and soon to be intolerable fifteen story tower of horrors.

Did I really say that? Sorry. I really have nothing against you DVCers, I just like my Contemporary as it was in my fairy tale childhood. It feels kind of like when they added the sorcerer hat to MGM. I now treasure my beauty shots of the theater.

Sorry self, people are growing old here...

So we arrived at the Concourse Steakhouse about half an hour early. I had scheduled in time to argue with the front desk over mystery charges. As it happened, we were good to go (but sans any Taco Bell). As of late, say since 1994, the place was nearly empty and we were seated immediately.

Being in a nostalgic mood, we went ahead and ordered a Sticky Mickey even though the last few have been horrible Perhaps I should explain further. Way back when I was knee high to a grasshopper, we had to walk four miles uphill both ways to get to the Concourse Steakhouse. But once you got there, boy was it worth it. As soon as you sat down your server delivered a warm, gooey concoction--the Sticky Mickey. In those days it was like a cinnamon bun stuffed in a vase, sitting in cinnamon sugar and covered in runny white icing. YUM.

The best part was that it was free. Every table got one automatically. We'd order an extra (for a nominal fee) for my mother's breakfast. Can you believe it? The almighty carnivore surrendered her need for meat infavor of dough! Well, not always. I admit there were a fair amount of side orders of bacon and sausage in those days.

Time rushes on, though, and one trip we found that we had to pay for our sugar rush. No matter, we thought, and still ordered two for the table. We really liked them, can't you tell? Well, the sands of time continued fall and they CHANGED the recipe.

We were crushed. It was now a lump of wheat-like bread with stiff white icing plopped on top. We could have cried. Every time we go, though, we order one in hopes that they've been fixed. So when I say we were in a nostalgic mood, I should qualify that statement by saying whenever we come here we are in a nostalgic mood. One goes hand in hand with the other.

What? You want to hear about the actual food we ate? If I must... the Sticky Mickey was much better this time. There was still no gooey cinnamon bun like creation, but the thing was at least soft and the new sauce on the bottom was caramel. There was still white icing on top, but it was at least fresh. The whole thing actually tasted pretty darn good.

I ordered the Frozen Latte Cool (gee, I love deluxe resorts) and mom got regular coffee, which was pronounced drinkable. We halted our tasmanian devil-like frenzy over the remains of a poor mouse head when we recieved our meals.

I had ordered the ham and cheese omelet. I do not know why. Seriously. I'm not a big egg fan. I'm not a huge ham fan. I do adore cheese, but I tend to find omelets a bit greasy. Maybe I just wanted the biscuit and potatoes? I really don't know!

For whatever reason I did it, I did it. I asked for it well done (runny eggs are ), and it came out perfect. Completely done all the way through, and the cheese on the outside was just slightly burned. Perfection. I ate all around the outside like a good girl. I also devoured all my potatoes and my biscuit, which was light and flaky.

Mom got her standard CS fare - the eggs benedict. She has no problem with runny eggs, obviously. It came with a pile of asparagus the size of Mickey's real head. It was huge. Now I don't eat asparagus, but it looked darn good--very green and thing. She ate every bite on that plate EXCEPT for two stalks. She claimed that they had too much hollandaise sauce on them. I think she'd reached the point of absolute fullness. One more stalk and she'd have exploded all over the grand concourse.

Our lovely server packed up the head part of the Sticky Mickey to take home to my dad (I told you we were saps), and she even added extra caramel sauce.
Total: $35.00 (DDE)

We made one trip through the Concourse shops, and lo and behold magic was done. We found a pair of shorts for my dad. We'd been looking everywhere for three days, and here it was at our favored home away from home. Fate.

And the perfect end to our mini-vacation.

That and one more Snack Time! I bough a pack of Tums at the Sundries store.
Total $1.10

Up next: a trip back in time to Thai Thani on I-Drive

 

[luvhockey]

Just catching up to this dining dance. Loving it to no end. I was astounded at the Thackery Binx reference. That was one flat benet. One of my most favorite movies. I have it taped to watch it other than Halloween.
I gotta agree that Olboyshoi is crazy women. It's the water I'm sure.
Angela

 

[sunny04]

Now let's take a time out. A few of you restaurant board regulars may remember a thread a month or so ago that wandered off topic, and a few of us started a support group. You see, we don't like our food to touch. As a child I ate off a divided food storage plate to keep my vegetables from mixing. Corn, thou shalt not socialize with yonder peas...and so on. I have no problem with food that is meant to be touching, such as the ingredients of lasagna, but two separate dishes must have a clearly delineated neutral zone.

I can't believe I missed out on this support group! My mom and sister will literally take a bite with some of everything from their plate at once. They end up with a messy mixture that they somehow think tastes good, and it appalls me!!!! This cracked me up in your report!!

 

[Ron from Michigan]

Thanks for the great reviews. It sure sounds like you had a great time. I would love to read a trip report from you some time. Maybe after your next trip ?

 

[blueangel]

I'll attempt a trip report after the next trip, right now scheduled for October. June got cancelled, sniff sniff. I'll definitely throw in a few extra observations when I finish the food. Some things we saw were too funny not to go unreported, but definitely don't really belong in the middle of a dining review. I'll do it at the end instead! Now that's logic that would make my students proud!

luvhockey - I'm glad somebody got my Hocus Pocus joke! I was afriad it would fall flat! I know, I know...my puns are unbearable! Grisly, even! (Say it out loud if you don't get it)

 

[blueangel]

As promised, we are now leaving Disney World property, wave good-bye to the purple signs and hello to the incomprehensible Florida State Road numbering system.

The directions to our dining location involve state roads 535, 536, Apopka-Vineland Road nowhere near Apopka, and International Drive at the outer reaches of the solar system. Scared yet? Here are the easy directions: Take I-4 to the Sea World exit. It's at the corner just past the park.

If you're a little more adventurous, or a shopaholic like myself, here's where you go: Exit Disney property from Downtown Disney (past the Marketplace and the Hyatt toward the McDonald's). Turn right at the light when you exit property (at the big purple walls). Turn left onto Apopka-Vineland Road - it looks like you're going into a subdivision, but you're not. You'll curve around and follow I-4 past the giant church and end up at the Orlando Premium Outlets, home to Coach and Gap and Adidas and Timberland and any number of other exciting stores, including a Disney outlet. Alas, the Universal Outlet closed.

If you aren't interested in shopping, just keep following the road; it will curve around again and TA-DA, you end up at a dead end on International Drive. Do not ask me how. The Gods of Road Construction did not consult me when they built this place. Turn left at the light and you'll see a Denny's and a strip mall just before the light you'd turn at to go to SeaWorld. Have mom look mildly panicked as you suddenly brake and swerve into the strip mall because she has no clue where you are. You are there.

And where is there you might ask, since you've read this whole, long, boring journey and you refuse to navigate on vacation? THAI THANI, of course.

As Thai restaurants go, it's fairly good. They go on and on about how they've been recognized by the government and actually serve Thai wine, but the really fabulous thing about this place is the decor. I cannot imagine spending the kind of money they did. They turned the interior of a strip mall restaurant into a den of Thai souvenirs and fake architecture.

OK, that didn't come out right. Let me try again. There are authentic paintings, statues, and other decorations filling the restaurant; several different style of tables (floor and chair seating); and one side of the place has been done up to look like each table is in it's own little house - street numbers and all. The place is full of gorgeous wood - both the furniture and the fixtures. It can be a little tacky and overwhelming, but we're talking about the mothercountry here, and I give it a pass for sheer effort.

The food is usually consistent (read nowhere near as good as Lotus of Siam in Las Vegas, but nothing is, and much better than anything we can get near home). And I've never tried their Thai wine. I do go for lime drinks (think salty limeade) and Thai tea or coffe (think supersweet iced with condensed milk).

For appetizers we ordered chicken satay (skewers with peanut sauce), tod mun (fish cakes), and egg rolls (I assume you know these). Honestly, the chicken wasn't great and it's usually my favorite. The pieces were cut bigger than normal, and so while fully cooked seemed a little...big. I'm weird, I know. They were also kind of bland. The tod mun was very fishy when we started, but we got used to it and ended up enjoying them . The egg rolls were amazing. We're talking here. I don't know why they were so good that night but they were. Between the two of us we ate every bite of all three.

Right about now our server looked like she thought we must have been starved at home based on the amount of food we were downing and what was left to come out. Believe me, it isn't true. My father may be the biggest in the family, but we women know how to grab the food first. We like food.

So the poor server simply started toting out more food. Mom had ordered yellow curry with pork, five star. That means five stars on the zero to five star scale of peppery hotness. They messed it up. They gave her fifteen star curry. She of, course, picked out all the meat, and I will usually eat the potatoes and carrots out of it. She gave me a potato and I cut a little corner off to taste. Flames. Shooting. Out of my mouth and nose. I couldn't eat it. I, who have spilled half a bottle of tabasco in my gumbo and still eaten it. I, who was raised by a couple of pepper fiends and a potato hog. This I, could not eat it. There was no amount of rice I could pile into my mouth at this meal to get me through that one piece of potato on my plate. Do not order five star unless you mean it. Of course, the cook may have been messing with us, but I wouldn't suggest you test that theory. Oh, and it came with the basic plate of white rice.

I ordered very boring mixed vegetables with beef and sticky rice. No star, thankfully. The veggies were very good - a mix of snow peas, cabbage, carrots, mushrooms, broccoli, some asian greens, and water chestnuts. There was a good amount of tender beef, and the gravy had excellent flavor. If you know me by now, you know that I ate every bit EXCEPT for the mushrooms and beef. Those went to my mother, the carnivore and fungavore of the trip.

Sticky rice, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, is a more starchy white rice than you are used to being served in asian restaurants. It's a northern Thailand thing, and my mother, having been raised in the central plains, has no idea why I love the stuff. It comes out in a little wicker pot that it was steamed in. You have to open the thing and try to unwrap your rice from the saran wrap it's been chemically bonded to in the kitchen. If you've managed not to burn yourself, you can then dump this absolutely frighteningly heavy and dense brick of rice onto your plate. It's called sticky because it sticks to itself, to your plate, to your fork, and to your shirt if you managed to get it off said plate and fork. It can be heavy in the tummy as well as on the plate, so I wouldn't reccommend a first timer eating the whole thing. I can, but I'm what you call a professional.

So...wait a minute, you're thinking. I can tell. An entree comes with rice, and she ordered rice. And there was already rice with the curry. Did they still bring the rice out? Oh yeah. Was it eaten? Mostly, in my mother's attempt to down her blazing curry. I give her credit - she ate all the meat out of it. Yes, that's in addition to my meat and mushrooms. The woman was a bottomless pit at this point in the trip.

And get this-- one of the women who work there thought there was something wrong with the food since she didn't suck the curry bowl dry! I was impressed with her eating effort, at any rate. So were we done? Do pigs fly? We ordered dessert!

To be fair, it was only one dessert and we split it. Fresh mango with sticky rice. I know, I know. More rice. This time, they take the sticky rice and cook it with coconut milk and sugar to sweeten it up. They drizzle a coconut cream over the top and garnish with what I'm told are roasted muang beans. Little nutty, seed type things anyway. Serve with fresh sliced mango and enjoy a little piece of heaven. The perfect ending.

Total: $73

That's all for the food! Next up: random observations in lieu of a trip report

 

[Disney owl]

Thanks for sharing