Manda's WISH Journal - time to get moving (comments and encouragement welcome)

[mandac]

So - I am about to turn 30, and I am overweight. I have had a goal to lose weight all year, but instead I gained 20 pounds - totally uncool. I did compete in my first half marathon in 2009 - it was fun. I was a walker and finished in 3 hours flat (pretty good!). I started the C25K program a few months ago and now I can jog about 30 minutes. I found that jogging is much different than walking. I was using muscles that I didn't know I had when walking.

I am hoping to use this journal to keep up with my goals and to let off some steam when I am discouraged. Hopefully I can do what I know I should be doing.

Comments and encouragement are welcome! I need all the help I can get!

 

[mandac]

Me again! I ran the longest I ever have last night. It was 4 miles (I think). We were using my DHs pedometer and I am pretty sure it was calibrated wrong, and that he was taking little steps so we could be done sooner. He was going pretty slow so I would lap him every once in a while. The indoor track we run on is really tiny. It takes 18.85 laps to make a mile, but it beats running on ice, and DH doesn't like the treadmill. So it is a good option for shorter runs. With warm up and cool down we were going for just more than an hour. It felt good. When we had about 5 minutes to go DH asked if I wanted to go another 4, and make it a round 8. I told him no, and I feel a little guilty about that. He had been holding back thinking I would be excited about going more. Unfortunatly I was having issues with my knee (which is ugly anyway) and was really ready to be done. One of the things I liked about the C25K program was the way it eased me in slowly. I don't want to ruin it by jumping from half an hour of running to 8 miles (which would take just about 2 hours). I think I will even take a break from running today and hit the elliptical or something. Give my knee a break. We are playing Raquetball with my dad and brother tonight, so that will be fun.

I got on the scale today (it is Wednesday - official weigh in day) and I am still about the same. Dancing between 211 and 213. I was up to 214 the other day and it freaked me out, but I am right back to where I have been for the last little while. I still have a goal to lose weight by Christmas, but Christmas is coming fast!

 

[FeelsLikeHome]

Wow, 4 miles - that's great!

 

[mandac]

Thanks! I was impressed with it, knowing I couldn't run 5 minutes a few months ago. It feels wonderful to be able to do it.

I don't have a lot to report today. I donated blood at work yesterday, so I was still being careful about how much I exercised that night. I did play raquetball with my DH Dad and Brother. It was fun. We are really bad but will just keep playing. Someday it might look like a real game. But that was pretty much my exercise. My DH declared that losing team had to run a mile, and his team lost, so he was up on the track running. I walked along behind. He only lapped me a few times, which is impressive on that little track.

We have great plans for running 4 to 5 miles tonight. I think my legs are back from Tuesday and ready for it. We will see. After running we are going to go look at the City's Christmas light display. It is always fun, and I am running out of time before Christmas!

I try not to trust what I see on the scale everyday, since it slides around so much, but today looked good, and I was below 211. That is good for me. Hopefully it will encourage me to keep doing good stuff. I would love to be below 210 to start the year!

 

[mandac]

Yesterday sucked. No, I mean it was REALLY bad. I had the most stressful time at work with a boss that is just a jerk. The second I walked in the door I had an email on my computer telling me, basically, how my time was not important and I would do what he wanted me to do even if he could do it 100 times faster. Really ticked me off. I took an extra long lunch to try and cool down, because I could feel my blood pressure rising. (I ate another wonderful bacon stuffed baked potato-Oops)

After work My DH and I went to the gym. We had this great dream of going 5 miles. We decided to recalibrate his pedometer, since I was sure we were not going as fast as it said we were. So we set out running, and counting. I thought it would be good to calibrate it on teh 2nd mile, since we would be tired by then and it would be a little different than the first. So we ran the first, it was killing me! My heart rate was way higher than it usually is when we run (must have been the blood donation yesterday) and I was ready to die! I was sad when we finished that mile and I looked to see it took us nearly 13 minutes! I can walk that fast! So we did the second. It was about the same. We walked for a minute after that while he adjusted the watch then set off again. At the end of mile 3 I had to stop. My heart was ready to jump out of my chest. DH wanted to go the full 5 (plus he was mad at me for sprinting off to the end without him, and this was his way to "punish" me. Great!) I tired to slow everything down by hopping on the bike that is near the track, but I really just needed to stop, so soon I just stretched it out and waited for him to finish.

So DH got 5 miles in, I did 3. Not so good. but I get the "low on blood" excuse for yesterday - I may use it again tomorrow. We are going to take a running break today. I have too much Christmas stuff to do!

 

[mandac]

Wow, what a slacker. I start a WISH journal then I just fall off the face of the earth. The sad thing is, that I also stopped doing anything that was good for me.

I will say taht I am happy that I was able to stay within 2 pounds of my Thanksgiving weight at New Years. But now it is time to stop maintaining and get to losing. I don't like the way I look, I dont' like the way clothes fit, I don't like the way I feel. The only way to change any of that is to DO something about it. (why is the doing always so hard). So today I am going to brave the Resolution crowds at the gym and put in at least a half an hour.

The really scary thing is the amount of time I have until my half marathon. I can't believe I have been this kind of slacker this close to the race. Especially since it is my first time adding running to the formula. I think I will still be OK (there is such a mental thing, that I have to stay positive), but I get nervous even though I have done a half, I know I can walk it if nothing else. I am in as good of shape as I was then (I think). So I just have to think positive and do it!

I set myself a goal to go to the gym tonight. I did the same thing on Monday and that was messed up when my parent's decided to drop by the house. They gave me some extra warning, so I spend my gym hours cleaning the house instead (if I could keep it clean I wouldn't have that problem, but that is another story all together) I took yesterday off, because it was my Birthday! (Happy 30 to me!) But today it starts again!

 

[mandac]

Remember that promise I made yesterday to go to the gym...um...well it didn't happen. I got home from work and told DH it was time to change into our clothes and head out, and he said he thought the house needed some cleaning and I "could go" and he would stay home and do laundry and take down the Christmas decorations.

I know I should have taken him up on that. I should have just changed my clothes and headed out to the gym by myself, but I felt like he was trying to tell me that I needed to stay home and help him with that stuff. I figured I could get on my treadmill - until I remembered the thing is broken

So it was a night of being bad. I am very disappointed in myself. But I am going to go home for lunch and pack a gym bag and just go straight there after work. I don't need DH to come with me. I need to go for me! And I really need to go.

 

[mandac]

I guess it is true that you just can't take days off of life. I did really well at maintaining my weight from Thanksgiving to New years. But once the new year started BAM! I gained 4 pounds. that is right FOUR pounds. How does that happen? I am not sure. I hope the brownie I had on my birthday isnt' enough to do that. I know I wasn't going to the gym like I should have been. But seriously - FOUR POUNDS in just over a Week. Are you serious?

I did go back to the gym yesterday. I don't know why it is so hard to start going back after you stop for a while. I was excited that DH wanted to come with me. We usually go and just run around the inside track over the basketball court. Unfortunately there were lots of little kids (I mean the oldest one was probably 8) and they were just messing around up there. It made it hard to keep a good pace. DH and I could not run together because they would run 4 across and we were lucky to be able to slip by. I noticed that I have taken at least one giant step backward in the few weeks I took off. Hopefully I can get back on track fast.

Today is going to be hard. DH and I are going out to dinner with DH's Aunt and Uncle. That means lots of food and no exercise (we have to meet them pretty much right after work). It is going to be hard for me, especially with that FOUR pounds on my mind. Hopefully I can keep it under control.

 

[luckywife]

Hi!

Just read your journal. I can relate to how hard it is to stay on track and start slipping back to old habits. Good for you though, you went to the gym yesterday so be proud of every goal you reach, big or small.

Where are you going out to dinner tonight? Just try to make the best choices possible and that way you can still enjoy yourself with your family but have less guilt once the evening is over.

Good luck to you on your journey. You can do it!!

Happy belated birthday as well!!!

 

[FeelsLikeHome]

Hi Manda! How did dinner go with DH's aunt and uncle? It's so hard to make the healthy choice when going out to eat and everyone else is ordering something that looks tasty. Four pounds isn't that bad- especially for the holidays. I know it can be frustrating though. Hang in there!

 

[mandac]

I survived the weekend. On Friday we had dinner with DH's aunt and uncle. I did pretty good, but at the expense of DH. I ate half my food, he ate the other half, and then his own. Oops. I shouldn't do that, but it keeps me from eating it.

Saturday we had a Birthday party for me for my whole family. I ate cake and icecream and yummy enchaladas that my DH made. It was a good day. And I did make it to the gym that morning, not for very long, but I went.

The bad news from this week is that the world is trying to make me fat. First my Treadmill breaks so I can't do that at home. So I have DH buy the new Wii fit for my birthday! I get ready to do that, just so I have something I can do at home, and the Wii breaks! I guess I need to get some videos to do, but I don't have any right now. So I was stuck.

Monday I had a migraine, and I am not tough enough to run through a migraine, so I stayed home and slept. Last night I had plans to run quickly to the gym, but I get off of work around 5, and I had meetings to be to by 7, so I scratched it and had dinner and relaxed a bit instead. Tonight we have dinner with my FIL and his new fiance (not my favorite people, but they are in town and we have to go to dinner - unless it snows too much, then they won't come). So that will probably scratch my trip to the gym again today. Tomorrow I have to stay late at work for a board meeting, so it may be out the window too! I need to change something. I would like to do mornings, but I don't want to drive to the gym in the morning. It isnt' really a nice gym, it is a community rec center, so there isn't a place I could get ready for work. So I would have to go to the gym, back home and then to work. I dont' have the brain power for that! Hopefully in the next month or so it will be warm and clean enough to start going outside before work again. That would be nice.

As far as weight goes, I am back closer to 214 than 216, but up and down like crazy. I want to do much better, but...OK no excuses. I am going to do better!

Thanks for your encouragement. It helps me feel accountable to know there are people reading this. Hopefully I will have some good news to share soon.

 

[FeelsLikeHome]

Thanks for the update! The accountability helps me a lot too. Good job on the dinner! I don't know if I would have had that much willpower!

 

[mandac]

What a bad week! I didn't track my food, and I didn't exercise. I had a very frustrating trip to the gym on Saturday and didn't go back all week. I am happy to report that my wonderful husband fixed my treadmill last night, and we got our Wii back from Nintendo, so I am back to not having any excuses to not just exercise at home.

My weight is up almost 3 pounds this week. But my attitude is changing. I am not fed up and frustrated like I was when it went up a few weeks ago. I realize I wasn't making good choices, and I am going to do better. The weight can only go down if I do that, right? This was a bad week where we were trying to remodel part of the house, so everything is a mess, all my clothes are piled in the living room. I am trying to sleep in our guest room, the kitchen is messy, so there has been a lot of pizza going around. But things should get back on track. I am ready! Even if DH wants pizza again tonight (he loves it!) I will be able to be good because I am determined not to let this happen. I am doing it for me and I am important! Looking forward to reporting all the good stuff that is happening.

 

[mandac]

Not much went on this weekend in the way of exercise, but the eating wasn't too bad. We put the molding and chair rail up in the bedroom. It just needs to be painted now and we will be almost done. I had book club at my house on Saturday. We did a brunch and had (mostly) good foods since most of us are still trying to be good for the new year. It was good fun. Add a movie on Saturday night and I had a busy but relaxing day. It is great to have a less stressful day every once in a while. I let the stress from work and home get the best of me!

On the small victory side, we did get a pizza on Friday night, and I didn't eat half the pizza. I had 3 pieces, which is worse than 2 but better than 5! So I was happy about that.

 

[mandac]

Yep, I slacked off last night. I had a killer day at work (every Tuesday I get to meet with my wonderful boss and discuss what I am working on and of course he always gives me more of his work to do during my down time. Love it. I shouldn’t let it get me so stress out but I do. I was really proud of myself for not running to the candy machine. I was SO tempted. I run to food for comfort, and when I am stuck at work there isn’t much else here I can do to get a break. But I didn’t give in! I figure that in and of itself was a pretty big thing for me. But I got home from work and my DH started to criticize me and it was over! Oh well. Today is a new day, and hopefully a better one.

 

[FeelsLikeHome]

You should be really proud of yourself that you didn't give into temptation with the vending machine. Even if you gave in when you got home, you still survived the temptation earlier... and it's a learning process. Don't beat yourself up too much about giving into the second temptation- two big ones in a day are hard to resist! I'm sorry to hear that all of these bad things happened to you. Hang in there!

 

[mandac]

Thanks for the encouragement. I have a hard time realizing the victories when they are followed by failure.

I was running all around shopping last night, so I didn’t save time for exercise. I told myself that if I had dinner before 7 I could get on at 8 and still get an hour in, but I didn’t. I ended up playing video games with my DH. Oh well. I tried to make up for it by getting up this morning to exercise, something I have been trying to do for a while, but I have just been too tired. I did get up at 6 and put 4 miles in on the treadmill before work. I hope to do some more tonight when my DH goes to play basketball with the guys.

On the eating front I did horrible yesterday. I started good, and I don’t know if it was stress, TOM, or what, but I just couldn’t resist the candy! Then when I got home from shopping we flipped on the TV to the food network (I should know better) and it was a Bobby Flay Throwdown – they were doing brownies! So what did I do, I ran upstairs and made a pan of brownies. I only ate one, and only made a small pan, but with everything added together it was a really bad eating day. I still wrote it all down and I am ready to put it behind me and do better today.

 

[FeelsLikeHome]

Brownies are so hard to resist! I feel your pain!

How have things been going? Sorry I haven't checked in for awhile. I've been MIA on my wish journal, eating whatever I wanted and not exercising.

 

[mandac]

Me Too!

I completed a half marathon on Valentine's day, and I have been sleeping and eating ever since.

But it is time to get back to it. I did try to watch my food last week. I logged every day - even the weekend (which was BAD) and I think I actually lost a pound. I won't believe it until I keep it off for a few days, but it is nice to see it helping. It helps me work harder when I know it does some good.

 

[mandac]

I just got home from vacation. It was a wonderful vacation - my dream vacation. I spent a week on Grand Cayman, just playing on the beach and relaxing. I read two complete books. I went to bed when I was tired and slept until I woke up. I went snorkeling and scuba diving. I had a great time.

But now I am back, and I am ready to get back on the proverbial horse and get into shape.

The things I am trying this time are a little different. I am going to try to keep my eating to small meals. I hope to eat 6 meals of around 200 calories each, one of them being just a fruit or vegitable. Hopefully that will help me to keep my metabolism moving and not get so hungry that I pig out.

I am also going to follow the Galloway training plan for my upcoming 10K. I have 6 more weeks, and if I follow it, it will be at least a half hour of exercise a day. I think I am going to have to do this in the morning, which would be nice if I could go outside, but it is snowing again today, so it is going to be treadmill again. Bummer. I missed this morning already, but I will get on after work. Then tomorrow morning I hope to do some Yoga. Long run on Saturday (will be 5 miles I think, so not too long) and then I should be back into the groove.

Hopefully I will have some good news to report here!